


My Dirty Elf

by HideTheDecay



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:10:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 98,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HideTheDecay/pseuds/HideTheDecay
Summary: He sighed, lowering his own gaze. “We can’t do this.” He drew his arms back, though one did fall to rest on his thigh in what was meant to be a comforting gesture. “I can’t-... I’m not-... Ah hell, I’m not made for this kind of stuff, Broody.” If Fenris was saying what he seemed to be saying, he was just setting him up for disappointment.





	1. Chapter 1

Despite the agreement he’d gotten the previous day, Varric Tethras wasn’t particularly expecting his company to arrive. He’d never known the mysterious elf that Hawke had picked up to be social, so if he failed to show up then it wouldn’t be a surprise, but that was exactly why he’d invited him in the first place. He’d been fighting alongside him for months and Varric knew next to nothing about Fenris. The only things he did know were things that he’d told everyone:

He was an escaped slave from Tevinter that was bent on revenge on his master. Or bent on escaping his master. His motivations seemed to change from day to day, but after that, the rest was anyone’s guess.

From someone who was undoubtedly brimming with stories, he was certainly tight-lipped about them.

Varric wanted to know and so he figured a little alcohol and time alone would be enough to loosen his lips. That was why he was at the table in his room in the Hanged Man, a mug of ale in front of him and a mug of ale across from him, jotting down some notes on the parchment in front of him, absently waiting for his arrival.

If he didn’t show up in the next twenty minutes, then he’d try again another time, make his way downstairs, and liven up the place a little.

\---

The reason for Fenris’ late arrival made herself known when Isabela made her way into the doorway, tugging the elf along by his gauntlet. She released him when they were inside, putting her hands on her hips as she smirked at Varric. “I don’t know how you did it. I’ve been trying to get this elf in my bedroom for months and he shows up tonight saying he’s going to your room. You’ll have to tell me your secret.”

Fenris snorted and gestured to the ale on the table. “For starters, he invited me over for a drink. Not to ‘see if I glow everywhere’.”

“He could do both, so long as Bianca doesn’t get jealous.” The pirate looked between them mischievously. “Since you got him to your bedroom, can I at least watch?”

\---

The dwarf’s eyes lifted and along with it went a brow. He looked between them, the elf’s answer reflecting what he would have said himself, so he said nothing as he leaned back, folding his hands over his stomach. He smirked and shook his head - he was entirely familiar with all of Isabela’s antics. Not only had they been turned on him on time to time, but after living in the same inn as her for as long as he had, he recognized not only the games she played, but the sounds she made when she got what she wanted.

“Sorry Rivani, elves only tonight. You’ll have to keep working the men downstairs if you want to have some fun.” He had no doubt that she would do exactly that and if Fenris stuck around long enough, he too might be subject to the sounds of Isabela’s ‘fun’.

\---

“You’re no fun.” She gave him a playful pout, having anticipated that answer. “Fine, enjoy your boys’ night. But invite me next time.” She gave a wave then and headed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Fenris shook his head, a bit surprised and relieved that she hadn’t been more pushy about what she wanted. He gave the dwarf a nod in greeting, then moved to take his seat at the table. He eyed the ale waiting for him and picked up the mug, eager to take a sip.

\---

The shitty ale was in some way a part of the charm of the Hanged Man, but Varric only really drank that stuff when everyone else was around. By himself, there was something else that he indulged in. Something rather more expensive and hard to come by, even  when asking for it. The patron he was, Corff always kept some on hand for him, and that was exactly what resided in their mugs.

He figured Fenris would like it. If not, there was other things for him to drink.

“What do you think? If it’s not your style, we can get you something else.”

\---

Fenris had been expecting the usual ale, so he was pleasantly surprised by the taste. “It's not bad. I prefer wine, but this is far better than the pisswater they serve here. This will do.” He took another sip to prove the point, then set the mug down. He looked at the parchment on the table but didn't think much of it - the dwarf usually had some around when they weren't on the move.

\---

He gave him a crooked smile and lifted his own mug to have drink. Far better. He set it down and leaned back once more, “So, Broody, how’s it going?” He’d start off simple and though he wasn’t expecting much of an answer, perhaps he’d be surprised.

\---

The elf didn't look quite as comfortable in his chair, sitting up straight and watching him curiously. “The same as always. I was surprised you invited me. No one asks me to do anything outside of the group...not counting the pirate.” It wasn't like he was charming company, after all, so why the dwarf had asked him to come over was beyond him.

\---

“I know. We’ve been running together for months now and I can count on a hand the number of conversations we’ve shared.” He was well-aware that no one spent time with him, not on their own. Even when everyone was gathered, it was always a roll of the dice whether he’d show up or not. When he was there, he never really stood out, aside from his appearance, and that’s why he’d invited him along.

He shrugged. “Figured we’d change that. I know a bit about everyone, except you.”

\---

“There's not much to know beyond what you already do. I'm a former slave on the run from my master.” He picked up his mug, taking a longer drink from it. He needed a drink from the very idea of talking about himself. But he didn't see what the dwarf could possibly want to know about him.

\---

“On the contrary, I think there’s a lot to know. You don’t go through something like that without having some stories to tell - the story of your escape alone must be fascinating.” He was curious how it would compare to the story of Anders’ escape from the Circle. He took another sip from his mug and since he was leaning forward, he pulled his parchment a little closer.

\---

“It isn't that thrilling of a tale. I had just learned from my mistakes on my failed attempts. I knew I wasn't going to get another chance at it, so I did what I had to.” He shifted his weight in his chair and took another long drink from his mug.

\---

He rested his cheek on the palm of his hand, watching him with a bemused expression. “I know not everyone is a storyteller, but even you can do better than that. Why don’t you tell me what happened? I’ll even start it off for you: Once there was an elf slave in Tevinter…” He gestured to him with his free hand.

\---

He snorted at that and appeared to relax a little. “...who waited for a big party his master was throwing to make his escape. He was counting on a couple rival magisters to make a scene at some point and made damn sure the wine glasses never emptied to help that along.” It wasn't much detail, but it was a start.

\---

“Clever elf,” he commented, continuing to watch him with interest. He was genuinely interested in him and what he had to say, so the elf held his rapt attention in a way that few did unless they were alone with him.

\---

“When Danarius was caught up in the political spat, I made my move. I knew where the guards would be concentrated on a night with so many guests, so I chose a window on the south wing of the manor. I still encountered a few, some who were patrolling and others that had seen me slip away from our master's side. I dealt with them as quietly as I could.” He frowned and lifted his mug for another drink. “I hope they still live. They were doing their duty, nothing more.”

\---

The dwarf looked appropriately solemn for what he was hearing. Rather than pry any further on what he’d already said, he urged him to continue. “That was only the beginning, I’m sure. Getting out of Tevinter itself must have been a struggle,” he prompted, waiting for him to further fill in the blanks.

\---

“It was. I had to hide in the sewers until I found a ship I could sneak onto. My master thought of that, of course, and had his men scouring the sewers and searching the ships. I had to stay on the move while I waited. When I saw a ship leaving the port in the night, already inspected, I swam out to it and hid myself in the cargo. I didn't really know how to swim at the time, so I was half-drowned when I got there.” But it had felt so incredibly good to catch his breath in the cargo hold, knowing he was going far away from his master.

\---

Enough had been said that the dwarf plucked up his quill and jotted down a note, though he kept it brief. “How long ago was that?” he asked, distracting from what he was doing. He knew it wouldn’t be well received, it rarely was, but usually he could convince people to let him write things down if they said anything at all.

\---

“A long time ago. I'd tasted freedom once before, but it had only lasted weeks.” He frowned to see him write something down, then drained the last of his mug. “Are you taking notes?”

\---

His eyes lifted from the parchment and he gave him a warm smile. “Just a little.” He let the quill drop, returning his hand to his cheek to prop it up. “Need more ale?” he offered, gesturing to a large glass decanter sitting close to him. He’d pour it himself, if he wanted it.

\---

“...Yes.” He did want more ale after discussing all that. He handed over his mug. “Is that the reason for your curiosity? You mean to use my suffering for entertainment?” It wasn’t asked in an accusatory way. More so to confirm there was a motive behind someone inviting him over.

\---

He refilled his mug all the way to the top and pushed it back over. “Oh, come on, Broody. Everyone suffers in their own way - believe you me, I suffer through my brother’s company every day. What’s a good story without a little suffering? It makes it all the more satisfying when the hero comes out on top.” He gave him a wink.

\---

“I'm not interested in having my story shared, I'm no hero. I don't even know why I've told you as much as I have.” He took a deep drink, then set his mug down and stared into it solemnly.

\---

The dwarf gave a soft sigh, watching him. That was about what he’d expected, truth be told - he called from Broody for a reason. “Well, lucky for you, it’s Hawke’s story I’m telling. You just happen to be a part of it.” He was mostly telling the truth - he’d probably use him for inspiration for a character at some point, but his main motivation, aside from nosiness, was to be able to properly flesh out the book he was beginning to draft out.

“So come on, keep going.”

\---

“I'm not really a part of his story.” This was said rather grimly and he chased it with another drink. He wished he was. But their leader only seemed to have eyes for the mage. He sighed heavily.

\---

He knew exactly what he was talking about. Subtle as he’d been about it, Varric was an observant man and he’d noticed the looks he’d thrown Hawke’s way. He’d also noticed the looks he’d thrown Anders’ way. It wasn’t surprising he was bitter at Hawke’s choice of lover, but he couldn’t help how much of the elf’s hatred of the healer was what he claimed it to be and how much of it was just jealousy.

“Sure you are, as much as the rest of us are. Don’t you worry, I’ll keep you mysterious - the ladies will love it - but I still have to know about you, so why don’t you tell me about the time you were free for a while?”

\---

“I’m not ready to talk about that other time.” Especially not if it was just going to be another part of the story Varric was writing. But it had felt better than he would have thought to get some of it off of his chest. And the ale was pretty tasty, which made him willing to stay until this mug was finished. “But I didn’t tell you the worst part of escaping Tevinter.”

\---

He leaned back a little, going with the change in direction. He wasn’t one to push, only nudge. “Go on then. What was the worst part of escaping?” He figured he was in for a sarcastic response, but maybe not.

\---

He lowered his voice a little, looking down into his mug again. He didn’t think he’d speak of this to anyone, but Varric was a good listener. Selfish motive or otherwise. “When I was waiting in the sewers, sometimes I could hear Danarius calling for me in the distance. ...And a big part of me wanted to go back to him. One night I almost did it.”

\---

For a moment, he didn’t react. Then he grabbed the decanter, leaned over the table,and filled his mug back up. “Why don’t we break out the cards?” He knew there would be no more talking about Tevinter that night, but they could still shoot the shit and have some fun before they called it for the night.

\---

The change in direction surprised him and he raised a bow. He was pleased for the refill of ale though and took another drink. “Sure.” Cards was more of what he had been expecting when he’d been invited over. “But I’m surprised that you didn’t ask why I would want to go back to him.”

\---

He didn’t ask because he didn’t have to. No, he’d never been in that position, but he could imagine. That was what he did best, imagining what it was like to be someone else - it was the reason his books sold so well. He could tell him as much, but the elf had spoken up for a reason and he wasn’t going to discourage him from saying what he wanted - or needed - to say.

“Tell me then. Why would you want to?”

\---

“Because I didn’t think my escape would really work. That I was doomed to end up with him eventually. And he’d spent so much time training me that obedience was instinct for me. Not going to him when he called me was incredibly difficult. It felt like it was going to be easier if I just went home willingly instead of letting him catch me again.” He shook his head. “I’m so glad I fought those impulses.”

\---

“So am I.” He poured himself the rest of what was in the decanter and lifted his glass towards him, inviting him in a silent toast.

\---

The elf’s lips quirked up slightly and he tapped his mug against Varric’s before taking a deep drink. He sat back in his chair a little, looking more comfortable than he had all evening. “Enough of the past. Let’s get out the cards.”


	2. Chapter 2

It was nearing the end of the night and everything was winding down. Everyone and everything was as it was meant to be and even though that meant Anders was sitting on Hawke’s lap, it felt right. It made sense for someone like him to end up with someone like Hawke - the protagonist and hero of their story. He deserved nothing less, really, certainly not the writer. As the mage tipped back in hearty laughter - held up only by the arm around him - following a crass joke from Isabela, Varric watched the flush in his cheeks wistfully.

When Hawke pulled him in for a kiss and Anders broke it with a smile, the dwarf looked down at his mug solemnly for a breath, then smiled himself, an accepting smile, before lifting his mug to his lips and having a sip.

Then the moment was gone and Varric threw himself back in the middle of it, slipping in a joke of his own that brought another wave of laughter rolling through the table.

\---

Fenris had also been watching the couple, but grimly. It pained him to see Hawke with the mage. He knew he was happy and that was the only reason he kept his mouth shut. But it didn’t make him feel any better about it. He’d needed to divert his eyes, to busy himself with something so he wouldn’t keep having to torment himself with watching them, and that was when he noticed Varric. The dwarf looked far more accepting of the situation than he was, but he read some pain much like his own in his eyes. He continued to drink steadily as an excuse for not laughing at any of the jokes going around and when there was a lull, he leaned in to speak quietly to the dwarf. “Mind if I stick around for a bit after everyone goes?” It wouldn’t be the first time he’d lingered after the group, but this time he had a specific topic of conversation in mind.

\---

Varric tore his attention away from the group to look at the elf, curious. He wasn’t sure if he just wanted company or if he had something he wanted in particular, but either way, he didn’t mind. “Sure thing, Broody.” He gave a him a nod and then his attention was being pulled back in the other direction as Aveline got up to go, saying her goodbyes.

It didn’t take long for the others to follow and as usual, Isabela was the last to slip out. When all was said and done, there was a mess on his table that could be dealt with the next day and Varric was slouched and nursing the last round they’d gotten as a group before he’d stumble over to bed.

\---

When they were alone, Fenris relaxed considerably. He’d grown more comfortable in Varric’s presence, especially since there was usually booze to take the edge off of his nerves. But booze or not, he was always very tense around Hawke and his lover when they were together. He always looked a little extra miserable around them as well. That much didn’t change when they left. He looked to Varric, shifting in his chair with a little sway that he only got after several rounds of drinks. “I saw the way you were looking at them. I didn’t realize you had a thing for him too.”

\---

His brows shot up in surprise and then confusion, which he continued to play up even as it faded and he realized what he was talking about. “Can’t say that I know what you’re talking about, Broody,” he denied with a casual sip of his drink. “Are you suggesting that I have a thing for Hawke?” He seemed amused by this, deflecting the truth by pointing out what he knew to be true. What everyone probably knew to be true, as obvious as Fenris was about it.

\---

“Don’t bullshit me.” He snorted and took a long pull of his drink. “I could see it all over your face. Especially when they kissed. I’ve told you all sorts of things, you can tell me if you’ve got a thing for him.”

\---

He snorted himself, shaking is head. “I can tell you honestly and from the bottom of my heart, I do not have a thing for Hawke.” He thought of him as a good friend, but he was definitely not interested in the man. “Don’t worry, he’s all yours if they break up.” He knew better than to think they would and even if they did… It didn’t change anything.

“You could stand to be more subtle, truth be told.”

\---

“It’s hard to be subtle when the sight of them together makes me so nauseous.” He grumbled, swirling what was left of his drink. He thought it over and raised his eyes to him again. “...You don’t have a thing for Hawke. So...Anders? You have a thing for Anders?” He asked, saying his name like it tasted foul in his mouth.

\---

He chuckled. “You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say his name.” He took another sip of his drink, leaning into the table. “You want me to pull the cards back out?” Anything to get off this topic, really. “Then again, if you stick around too much longer, you’ll end up sleeping on my rug tonight.”

\---

“No, no, no. Don’t change the subject.” He leaned forward over the table, lowering his voice as if there was still anyone around to overhear this conversation. “You fancy him, don’t you? I thought it must be some weird human thing that Hawke is attracted to him, but you too?”

\---

He rolled his eyes. “If you had any sense, you’d be attracted to him too.” Still deflecting, but he definitely thought Hawke was the lucky one in that relationship. “Besides, I know Rivani’s opinion doesn’t really count, she’ll sleep with anyone and anything, but the way she goes on ‘Handsome’ this and ‘Handsome’ that, you think you’d’ve noticed.”

\---

“She does that in hopes of sleeping with him again. I’m sure if any of us ever gave into her, we’d get some flattering nicknames too.” He tipped his mug toward him. “But you...I never would have guessed. You seem like a man of good taste, I thought it was Hawke you were lamenting over tonight.”

\---

He hummed, neither confirming or denying what he was saying, though the lack of the denial said a lot. He knew how the elf felt about Anders and he didn’t really care, it wasn’t his business, but he wasn’t going to listen to him trash him, either. “You’re talking to me about good taste? You’re pining over the man that is with him.” If he thought it was poor taste to even like the man, what did that supposedly say about Hawke?

\---

“I never said Hawke had good taste. He’s almost perfect in every other way. I suppose he had to have some flaw.” He smirked, amused that Varric seemed to be a bit defensive of his crush. “Let’s get the cards out. I don’t remember the last time I slept, but I think it would still take a lot more ale before you’d have to worry about me passing out on your rug.”

\---

He smirked, actually agreeing with him. Hawke did have pretty bad taste - except where Fenris saw Anders as an example of that, he saw him as an exception. “Well then, why don’t you run downstairs and fill us up? I’ll deal.” He grabbed the cards that had been tossed aside earlier, breaking them back in and shuffling them quickly.

\---

“More pisswater, coming right up.” Fenris rose, stumbled a bit, then found his footing and started out of the room. He knew Isabela was likely still downstairs and would hold him up, but that was alright. He had a lot to mull over, knowing he wasn’t the only one miserable over the relationship within their group, even if they had a thing for separate halves of that couple.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a little over a week later that Fenris found himself pacing around his home. That was nothing new for him, but now he realized he had somewhere to go when he was feeling this restless. Someone who actually enjoyed his company and liked to listen to him.

He rarely turned up at the dwarf’s room uninvited, but he always brought gifts when he did. Tonight he carried with him a bottle of wine, one of his finer vintages, and a bag that held an ornate dice set he'd seen in the market and had thought that Varric might like. He'd head over for a visit and if the dwarf was busy, he'd just come back home and pace the floors until he got himself too drunk to walk.

He made his way past the crowd in the tavern and past Isabela who had been all over him in hopes of seeing what was in the bag he carried. She'd already decided that there was some secret love affair going on between him and the dwarf just because they'd been spending time together at night and no doubt she was hoping there was something scandalous in his hands. When he finally reached the open door to the room he'd been visiting lately, he began to step inside but halted when he realized that Varric was not alone. That the mage, of all people was sitting across from him. “...Oh. Sorry, Varric, I'll...come back in a couple days.”

\---

When the elf entered, the pair were caught up in conversation. Varric’s eyes were fixed intently on the mage, who was smiling at him and regaling him in a tale. The corner of the dwarf’s lips were quirked and he was so caught up in the story, both of them were, that neither of them noticed the door opening.

It was the voice that broke them out of it. They both looked to the doorway - their smiles fading for entirely different reasons - and Anders sat back.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had plans…” There was an awkward beat, not having realized that they spent time together. Time that included wine. Odd. “No, no, you can stay.” He was rising to his feet and grabbing his staff, though he did flash Varric a curious look. He knew he was a friendly man and that he probably spent time with all of their companions, but he was surprised he’d gotten the elf to come out of his squalor and visit. “I need to get back to the clinic.”

Varric was disappointed, but he offered him a nod. “Some other time then, Blondie.” He looked to the elf, feeling a little sheepish, but keeping it off his expression. “Come on in, Broody.” He gestured at him to take the seat that the mage had been occupying, keeping his eyes from going back to the mage as he slipped past the elf and left.

\---

“We didn't have plans, I just…” Just what? Was lonely? It didn't matter, by then the healer was already on his way out. He looked to Varric once he was gone, frowning deeply. “I apologize. I really shouldn't have just turned up like this. I can go back home…”

\---

“What are you talking about? Sit down, I’ll grab the goblets.” He slipped off his chair and went to grab the proper vessels necessary for drinking wine. “You can show up whenever you like - he did.” He hadn’t invited Anders over, he’d just popped in as he occasionally did. He wasn’t especially happy that they’d been cut short, but he’d have time with him again eventually.

\---

“That's a little different, though.” Fenris finally stepped into the room, taking his usual seat and setting the wine and bag down on the table. “I don't want to interrupt when you're spending time with him. ...I know how it feels when Hawke comes to visit and then someone else turns up looking for him.”

\---

“I can’t say I know what you mean.” He returned with the goblets and set them down. “So what’s the occasion? Just in the mood for some cards?” He was aware that the elf considered him a friend in a way that he did no one else. He’d gone from never having been alone with him to having him come around a couple of nights a week. The elf was lonely, that much was clear, and he was happy to be his company, especially since their conversations were growing increasingly interesting as he gradually opened up.

\---

“No, I just…” He wasn't quite sure what to say, so he mulled it over a moment. “I get caught up in my own head sometimes. I knew it was going to be a long night, but the hours go by faster when I'm with you, so I thought I'd stop by.” He pushed the bag of dice forward. “Besides, I got you something.”

\---

“If you want, I can lend you some books. Hell, I could even lend you some of my books - I’m sure they would help pass the time.” He sat down and looked down in surprise as the bag being pushed towards him. “What’s this?” he asked, as he plucked it up and gave it a wiggle. He could hear the dice inside, but it didn’t occur to him what they were until he opened it and let them tumble out on his hand.

\---

“They wouldn't do me much good. Slaves are not taught to read and write unless they’re scribes. That was the farthest from what Danarius wanted me to be.” He was especially grim this evening, but his face still brightened just slightly as the ornate dice set fell into his palm. “I saw them and thought you might like them.”

\---

His brows lifted as he admired the dice, letting them roll around in his palm. “Wow, Broody.” It wasn’t often he was given a gift and from him, he would have never imagined. He let them fall out onto the table and roll, grinning as he ended up with what have likely resulted in a rather nice pay out if he were actually playing dice.

“They’re so nice I might have to trade them in for my weighted dice.” He winked at him and then sat back in his chair. “You didn’t have to do that.”

\---

The reaction was better than he'd anticipated and he even gave him a small smile. “I considered asking if they had a weighted version.” He actually had, but had chosen not to. Flashy dice like these would be especially subject to suspicion if the dwarf was too lucky with them. “You've been kind to me. It was just something I wanted to do.” He didn't make it easy for anyone to be kind to him, he knew, but Varric was the only one to really put effort into it.

\---

Fenris smiling was not unheard of, but it certainly was uncommon and so seeing it warmed him. “We should put them to use then.” Instead of cards, they could play dice. “Did you bring any coin or are we just playing for fun?” He far preferred playing for coin, but nothing was wrong with a game for the sake of it.

\---

The elf tossed a handful of coins on the table. “Always for coin.” He wasn't bad at their games and he had plenty of money tucked away for emergencies, so he liked to gamble a little spare coin when they played. He pulled the cork from his wine bottle, then filled the goblets Varric had prepared for them. This was much better than spending the evening fretting at home. Even if he still felt a bit guilty for shortening Varric’s time with the mage, he didn't regret coming by.

\-----

“Thanks for the coin.” After about an hour of going back and forth, Varric finally pulled his winnings in, dragging them to his side of the table with a smirk. “It’ll go to our drinking fund.” They certainly needed one, the way they went at it. The wine bottle was gone and they’d broken into the ale. The good stuff, at that. “Come on, I’ve cleaned you out. Time to do something else.” He hopped to his feet and made his way over the shelf near his bed to pluck up what looked to be a short novel. Rather than stumble back to the table, he sat down on the edge of his bed, draped in more furs than a Orlesian whore.

\---

Fenris was slumped back in his chair, a cozy position he only settled into after several drinks. He watched Varric with a raised brow, then shook his head. “A book? I can't read, Varric. Not even simple words and especially not in the common tongue.”

\---

“I heard you the first time,” he retorted, patting the bed next to him. “Get over here already, will you?” He opened the book to the first page and chuckled to himself as his eyes skimmed the first few lines.

 

\---

Fenris stood, staggered a bit, then got his footing and made his way over to the bed. He sat down beside the dwarf, far closer to him than he would have if he were sober. He looked over the book open in front of him, scanning the page fruitless for any familiar words he might recognize from signs or markets.

\---

“These are definitely my simplest books, so don’t mind the content.” He’d chosen it for that reason alone. “Follow along,” he told him, pointing to the first word and beginning to read it out loud. He read slowly, giving him time to take in the words and associate them with what he was saying.

\---

Fenris paid rapt attention as he followed Varric’s finger along the words as he read them. He had trouble following any of the story itself, fixated on the words themself, but he tried to follow along with both. He was leaning into the dwarf, hardly noticing while he was being read to.

\---

“Her breasts heaved in anticipation, her rouge lips parting for breathless pants, as her lecherous gaze fixed on the strained ties of his leathers, barely keeping him encaged.” He was not at all embarrassed to be reading any of it aloud. The women loved this stuff and he had no problem filling that need - it was the trash he wrote to make quick coin. “Oh, Rivani likes this bit.” He informed him, before he went on, describing in detail the erotic coupling of the pair that had only just met.

\---

Fenris’ cheeks darkened as the scene grew more and more raunchy, but fixated on the words just the same. “Oh, I'm sure she does. Are you sure you didn't write this about her?” He asked when there was a break to turn the page and as if on cue, he heard the pirate laugh from the other room, the sound followed by the soft moan of another woman. It seemed she'd taken a lady to bed for the night rather than her usual fare.

\---

“She wishes. She wants me to write an entire series about her and her adventures - The Pirate And The Sea-Men,” he smirked, though he would be lying to say she hadn’t inspired a character or two. Most people in his life inspired a character or two, at least a little. His eyes flicked towards the door and he chuckled to himself. He was use to the sounds of the pirate and her exploits and though he was able to ignore them most of the time, whenever he could tell she was with another woman, it did have a way of heating him up.

“Maybe we can pick up reading another time when it’s a little more quiet around here.”

He could start an actual book that they could work on together, if he wanted.

\---

Fenris was beginning to grow used to Isabela’s moans as well - if he stayed late enough, there was rarely a night he didn't hear them. But this was the first time he heard her with another woman and it did give him a slight twitch of arousal. Still, noise or not, he didn't want him to close the book. “Could we do just a little more tonight? No one has ever read to me before.”

\---

The rogue hadn’t expected him to protest and he hesitated, before responding. “Uh, sure. We can finish up the chapter, but next time I’ll pick a real book for you.” He shifted a little, before settling back in and continuing. The heated scene in the book was made all the more atmospheric with the sounds of moaning and shameless as he was himself, his cheeks were warming and his own leathers were beginning to strain a bit.

\---

The moaning women definitely made Fenris pay more attention to the subject matter of the book rather than the individual words. He was still leaning into the dwarf, but he had to shift to hide the bulge in his pants that had grown considerably by the time the scene was over. “But why did she glance at the door? Was she expecting someone to turn up? The blacksmith’s wife?” He asked, apparently caught up in what story there was to be had between the smut.

\---

The question made him chuckle, despite his discomfort. It wasn’t that he was really all that embarrassed by his state, though he’d rather not be like this around anyone he wasn’t actively taking to bed, but as his need grew, as did his desire to take care of it. “Not bad - you’ve already caught on.” It was the blacksmith’s wife, as a matter of a fact, and the next chapter was just as steamy as the one they’d just finished.

\---

Fenris smiled at that, pleased he'd guessed correctly. “We should continue this one next time. I want to know what happens when the blacksmith’s wife finds Esmeralda’s letter.” He finally pulled back to give the dwarf a little space since they were likely done reading for the night.

\---

His brow quirked and he laughed. “Whatever you want, Broody.” He slipped off the edge of his bed and put the book back on the shelf, next to many more that seemed to be of the same genre. While he was facing away from him, he gave himself a quick adjustment, before turning back to him. “It’s been fun, maybe next time I’ll come to your place?” Then there wouldn’t be the living distraction that was Isabela.

\---

“If you want. It’s a disaster there, but you already know that.” He’d dropped by with Hawke a handful of times when their leader had sought him out for one mission or another. “Come by whenever you like. I can get us a pretty good meal if you want to come for dinner some time.” He stood and when he realized how obvious that made his current state, he cleared his throat and also turned to adjust himself.

\---

Varric’s eyes fell and he caught side of him just before he turned. His brows lifted and he looked away, a lot more embarrassed than he’d been by his own arousal  - definitely no more of his trash novels here. “Sure thing, I’ll see you later.” He turned away from him and shrugged off his jacket, figuring he’d take his leave while he got ready for bed.

\---

The moans nearby were picking up in pitch, the unknown girl sounding entirely lost in pleasure with softer, breathier moans from Isabela providing harmony to the sound. “Later.” He said, having to raise his voice over the women and quickly turned and made his exit.

\---

As soon as the door shut, Varric moved to his bed. He didn’t bother taking off the rest of his clothing, he just loosened his sash, unlaced his pants, and drew himself out. He shut his eyes and tipped his head back, stroking himself to the sound of the ladies nearby, picturing the position they were in and whose fingers were where.

\---

The elf had nearly gotten all the way out of the inn when he realized he’d left his coinpurse in the chair he’d been in before they moved to the bed. He swore under his breath and quickly made his way back up the stairs, walking right back into Varric’s room without a second thought. His eyes fell on the dwarf stroking himself and he reddened deeply. “...Glad they weren’t just getting to me.” He said in an attempt to make light of the awkward moment as he moved forward and snatched up the coin he’d left behind. “See you.” He said, making another very hasty exit.

\---

The rogue jumped and grabbed the shirttails of his tunic and pulled them in to cover himself. He stared at him as he moved in and grabbed… whatever it was he’d come back for. It wasn’t until he was gone that it hit him and he groaned, tipping backwards on his bed. At that point, he’d begun to wilt and even the sounds of one of the girls hitting her peak wasn’t enough to get him back to where he’d been before the elf had walked in.

Fucking elf.


	4. Chapter 4

After some initial awkwardness, the two of them went right back to normal. They spent a lot of evenings together, playing games and more often now, reading books. He liked the stories and he liked that he felt he was starting to recognize more words as he leaned into the dwarf and followed along as he read him stories.

He’d started cleaning up his mansion a little, giving them a comfortable space when the dwarf came over for a visit. But much of the time, he was still going to the Hanged Man to see Varric. Isabela was more and more wrapped up in her fantasy that the two of them were a secret couple and sometimes Fenris liked to let her run with that fantasy. It was fine with him, since her attention on the matter only lasted until the next person in the tavern caught her eye. He was perfectly comfortable staying late into the evening in Varric’s room, though he made a hasty exit on the rare occasions that Isabela brought a woman to bed, knowing what that did to the both of them.

In the passing months they’d also started spending more of their daylight hours together. Varric was a busy man and often had work to do that he didn’t necessarily need to involve Hawke in. Fenris was happy to help him and it made for a productive way to pass the days that he wasn’t called on by their leader.

One night that had begun like many others, with drinks and laughter, started to turn solemn though. As they’d played their cards, Fenris had gotten to talking about his time as a slave, as Varric had grown very good at prompting from him. It had been fine until the conversation lead to the mention of a kitchen slave named Lena. He’d gone quiet then, setting down his cards and rising from the table, moving to the bookshelf and plucking up the book they’d been working on. He’d rather listen to someone else’s story than think of his own at the moment.

\---

Varric had grown use to these turns in conversation, though usually they were able to talk their way out of them. When Fenris just stopped talking completely, he watched him move away with concern. “Come on, Broody, sit back down. We can read in a bit.” He was usually good about dropping the topic if he could tell it needed to be dropped, but it felt like this needed to be talked about.

\---

Fenris shook his head and moved to sit down on the bed. He sat with the book in his lap, but he didn’t open it to the place they’d left off. He just stared down at the cover, running an anxious finger along the spine. “You want to know about Lena? She was an older human woman, retired to the kitchen when she was too old to be used for anything else. I wasn’t allowed to fraternize with other slaves, but I had liked her. She told me I reminded her of my mother once. She never got to tell me anything about my mother, but she did sneak extra food for me whenever she could so she must have liked her.”

\---

He watched him from where he was for a time, then plucked up what wine was left in the bottle and made his way over to the bed to sit down beside him. “Sounds like a good woman.” He took a sip from the bottle and then offered it to him, knowing he probably needed it to continue teliing him what happened to Lena.

\---

“I thought so.” Fenris took the offered bottle and took a deep drink from it. “You know how I told you about the time I escaped for awhile? When I killed the Fog Warriors who had taken me in simply because I was ordered to do so, then ran from Danarius. I told you that he found me a month later. But I didn’t tell you what happened after he brought me home.”

\---

The things that Fenris had revealed to him over the last couple of months were nuggets of a bigger picture. The more he talked, the more the nuggets began to fit together, but they were so small, so few and far between, he was still a little lost on the bigger picture. “Sure I do.” He definitely remembered that story and he waited for him to continue, to tell him what else there was to know about it. “What happened?” he cued him, not demanding the answer, but giving him the opportunity to tell his story.

\---

The elf was quiet, looking to the dwarf, then down to the book, then back at the wine. He took another drink from it. “I knew I would be punished harshly, that was no surprise. After the initial beatings and blood magic healings, I was put in a cage and kept in the dark until Danarius was ‘ready to deal with me’ again. I don’t know how much time passed in there, but I really thought I had been forgotten and would die of thirst when Lena finally came with some water and bread for me. She had the keys to my bindings and when she removed them to give me my food and water, she whispered in my ear that she knew where my mother was. That she would sneak me out and take me to her, but we had to go immediately.”

\---

He gave him his full attention. He didn’t speak, knowing that he didn’t need any further encouragement to keep going. He would let him go at whatever pace he needed, aware how difficult this was for him. He felt for him, having learned that he’d gone through a lot more than most. A lot more than anyone ever should have to. Similarly, he’d learned there was a lot more to him than everything on the surface.

Then again, that was true of most people.

\---

He was worrying the book more as he went on, though he was careful not to bend the spine as his restless fingers toyed with it. “I went with her without hesitating. Of course, I wanted out. I’d had a taste of freedom. But even more than that, I wanted to see my mother. To remember her face, her name. I was going to get us both out of Tevinter safely.” He took another drink. “Lena snuck me out of the estate and into the streets. But we didn’t get far before she turned a corner and Danarius was there waiting for us. There were guards there to apprehend me before I even knew what was happening and Lena went right to his side. My master just shook his head and said I was a slow learner. He took me back to the estate and he showed me the new whip he’d gotten for just this occasion, if I was fool enough to try to escape again. It had several tails, all of them ending in a shard of glass. He watched me take my lashings and I could feel how much my skin was tearing. How much I was bleeding. In all those years I never seriously thought about killing myself, but at that moment I was praying to the Maker that they would get carried away and just let me die. I don’t know why Lena did that to me. If she was forced or if she had offered to please Danarius. I don’t know if she actually knew where my mother was or if it was all a lie and my mother had been dead for years. All I knew was that I wanted Danarius to be too slow to heal me and that he would just let me die…” He’d never gone so deep into stories of his punishments, grazing over them if they came up in their talks. He’d gotten so worked up by the end of it that his shoulders were heaving and a few warm tears had rained down onto the book cover in his lap.

\---

The dwarf watched him sympathetically and when he came to the end of his tale, he slid an arm around his back, giving it a stroke. He wasn’t great at comfort, but when it came to people he cared about, he wasn’t all that bad. “Hey, you’re not there anymore.” That didn’t make all the things that had happened to him disappear, but he could rest assured that he would never have to go through any of that again.

“Nothing like that will ever happen to you again.” Not the punishment, not the games, not the betrayal.

\---

He flinched ever so slightly when the arm slid around him, clearly not used to any gesture of comfort. But it was helping and he found himself leaning into Varric, turning toward him and tucking his head against his shoulder. “I’m there every time I sleep.” Not every time, but a lot of the time he slept, the nightmares put him right back in Tevinter. It had been some time since he’d let himself weep and it overwhelmed him now as his breaths hitched in silent sobs.

\---

He didn’t have anything to say to that, so he just slid his other arm around him as well, pulling him in and holding him while he cried. He never thought he’d see him cry, but he had more reason than most for his tears. The poor elf was in need of a lot more understanding than he got and the way he’d so readily (if months of coaxing counted as readily) opened up to him was just proof that he wasn’t as cold and closed off as he made himself seem.

\---

Fernis’ arms wrapped around Varric as well, caught up in the embrace and how good it felt to be held by someone who cared about him. It lulled him and it didn’t take long for his sobs to quiet. “Thank you.” He murmured, not ready to release his hold on him. “You’ve been a very good friend to me.” Before Varric had started inviting him over, he hadn’t realized how much he’d needed a friend.

\---

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he quipped back, keeping it light. He patted his back and started to lean back a little, but when it seemed that he wanted to stay as they are, he didn’t fight it. “We’ll talk to Blondie. I’m sure he can cook up something to help you sleep.” He’d known that he didn’t sleep much, but it wasn’t until now that he knew why.

\---

He shook his head, raising it when Varric had pulled back a little. He allowed a little space between them, but he still had his arms around the dwarf as he looked to him, miserable and yet relieved. Relieved to have gotten something off of his chest that he’d never shared and relieved to have someone who would soothe him afterward. “I don’t want to sleep more than I have to. I don’t want to dream and I want to be awake so I’ll know if the slavers come for me in the night.” His lips quirked up in a solemn smile. “Spending time with you the nights I stay awake helps the time go by.”

\---

He couldn’t help but feel bad for him. “No one’s coming for you, Broody. If they do try, they won’t be alive for long.” Someone would have to be a idiot to go after him, knowing what he could do. No only that, but if something did happen to him, everyone, lead by Hawke undoubtedly, would do everything they could to get him back.

“You know, if you’re feeling paranoid in that creepy mansion, we can find you somewhere else to live. Somewhere closer to the rest of us - hell, you could stay here at the Hanged Man, as long as you don’t mind listening to Rivani get her rocks off nightly.”

\---

“The paranoia comes from being caught before, not from where I’m staying.” It might be nice to stay here some nights though, closer to his friend. He’d probably have to find something he could use to plug his ears though. “But if they do show up, I know you’ll try to stop them.” He didn’t know how many of the others would put in the effort, other than Hawke and perhaps the pirate, but Varric would have his back.

\---

“Bianca would definitely have a thing or two to say,” he smirked, his eyes flicking to his beloved crossbow sitting nearby. “It’s only been a few years since you got away. Give it some time, you’ll adjust. You’re one of the strongest people I know.” To have gone through all of that? Definitely. Not everyone could do it and not everyone could bring themselves to risk escaping to a better life.

It was one of the things that he admired about Anders. That he’d never given up escaping, that he’d tried time and time again, until he was finally free.

It was a good quality to have.

\---

Fenris smirked in return at the confirmation. “I think you have helped me adjust more than the years away from Danarius. ...I’m really lucky you asked me to come over that first night.” Otherwise he’d still be completely alone. His hold was so comfortable and before he could stop himself, he leaned in, pressing a soft and hesitant kiss to the dwarf’s lips.

\---

The dwarf went still, in denial as soon as the lips touched his. He didn’t know how to react and so when he pulled back, it took him a moment to form a coherent sentence. “...Hey, I don’t think you really want that.” It wasn’t often he had a man hitting on him and for it to be someone like Fenris, Fenris who he knew was holding a burning blame for Hawke, it was…. bizarre. Not that this was really him hitting on him, but still.

He found himself looking at him almost searchingly, wanting to know where that had come from.

\---

Fenris wasn’t sure what to make of his reaction and his eyes dropped, his cheeks darkening. “...I really like you. It felt like the right thing to do.” He had no idea what he was doing, really. But it had felt right and now he worried that he’d done something to damage their friendship.

\---

His denial only grew, even hearing it from his lips. Fenris liked him? Him? He was a catch to be sure, but he tended to draw a certain kind of person. Not someone like Fenris. Then again… Varric knew no one else had really given him the time of day. Not like he had. “Broody....” He didn’t know what to say, but he continued to watch him. He’d had a good time with him ever since they’d started spending time together and truthfully, he looked forward to him coming over. If he didn’t show up, sometimes he was even disappointed.

He lifted a hand and brushed his cheek, as if testing the gesture.

\---

He shivered slightly at the touch, such a tender gesture was so foreign to him. But he leaned into it after the initial surprise. “I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve never kissed anyone just because I wanted to. But...you make me feel like I have that kind of freedom around you. Talking about the past with you makes it feel like the past, like I’m with someone I can trust now. Someone who cares about me.”

\---

“Everyone cares about you,” he tried to tell him, but he understood what he meant. He really was just answering the only way he knew how. He was glad for him, that he was moving past it all. He was even glad that he was helping him do it, but this still seemed to come from nowhere.

And still, he kept his hand in place, looking at him in a way that he never really had before. His eyes dropped to his lips and he considered them almost curiously.

\---

“Not like you. I always look forward to my nights with you. Even when I’m at home or off on a mission, I usually wish I was here. Having a drink with you and losing more of my coin. Or just sitting with you to read. I don’t know what these feelings mean. Just that I wanted to kiss you.” He seemed content to lean lightly into Varric’s touch for now, letting him consider all of this.

\---

He knew what he needed to do to spare their friendship. He needed to push him away and spend less time with him. At least until he moved on to someone else. He would, he would do exactly that, but in the moment, he found himself pulling him closer with the hand on his cheek and kissing him lightly.

\---

He followed the pull and answered the kiss softly. It was clear that he didn't have much experience, but there was a quiet enthusiasm behind it to make up for it. He wanted this connection with Varric, even if he didn't really understand it, and his hand slid up into the dwarf’s hair to stroke it.

\---

There was an innocence to this that was disconcerting. Not in only what the elf had to say about it, but in the way he met his lips, and Varric couldn’t help but fixate on the fact that he was the absolute wrong person for this. He avoided dealing with feelings and he really avoided anyone that didn’t know what they wanted - hell, he even avoided those that did since they usually wanted more than he did.

He didn’t stop, though, not just then. He continued to kiss him, tasting the wine he’d just sipped that clung to his lips.

\---

As the kiss went on, he grew more confident. He met his lips more firmly, relaxing into it. He could taste the wine they'd shared as well and was relieved that Varric's lips felt so refreshingly different from what he'd known before. He pressed in closer to him, forgetting briefly about Lena and her betrayal despite the fact that he'd reopened that wound moments before.

\---

The arm around him tightened and he became distinctly aware of how small his waist was. He was far from the first elf he’d had in his bed, but he hadn’t expected him to feel so similar to the ones before, considering that they’d always been women. He knew he was thin, it was clear with all of the tight armor he wore, but he still thought of men as thicker. Even between their meeting lips, there wasn’t the rasp of a growing beard to tickle his own, and when his eyes shut, he honestly couldn’t tell the difference between him and the last woman he’d kissed.

\---

It felt so good, a connection to someone that he'd never known before. Someone who wanted him around and not just to lead the charge in battle. He tentatively deepened the kiss, parting his lips and letting his tongue brush lightly over Varric's lower lip. His fingers coiled in his hair, toying with his locks as he savored the stronger taste of him.

\---

He felt a rush of heat from the tongue, even as tentative as it was. The fingers were far from tentative and he rather enjoyed the way they played with his hair, strands falling readily out of the tie he kept them in. He responded in like, sliding his own tongue out to greet him.

He began to pull on him into his lap, still distinctly aware that he needed to stop this sooner rather than later, but wanting to be straddled by him. His fingers began to ran over the leather along his back, finding the slit in the back where his spine peaked through and brushing the skin.

\---

Fenris climbed onto his lap when he was prompted, wanting to be closer to him. He shivered a little when their tongues met but he didn't withdraw, curious and rather liking the way it felt. The fingers gave him a similar shiver, but they were also a welcome addition and his free hand began to do a little wandering of its own along his back.

\---

It felt good, all of it did, and that was what made him break the kiss. If he didn’t, then he might not at all and that was a disaster in the making. He pulled back and opened his eyes, looking up at the elf. It was a little jarring to see who it was sitting in his lap, but he did his best to take it in stride - who didn’t want him?

“If we don’t stop, things might not go back to how they were,” he warned him, being frank about it. He didn’t particularly want to lose his drinking friend and card companion, but if he was developing feelings… there might not be much of a choice.

\---

“It's alright. I knew I took that gamble as soon as I kissed you.” Gambling was what they did together, after all. His hand slid down his side, his fingers brushing Varric’s hip. “I know I'm not the one you want. But I want to be close to you tonight. Do you want to stop?”

\---

Framed that way, the dwarf couldn’t help but smirk. It had been a gamble, hadn’t it? It faded a little as he went on, as he was right. He wasn’t who he wanted, but it didn’t matter who he wanted. That was never going to happen and he’d accepted it the moment he realized he was feeling things he shouldn’t.

“Honestly, Broody, I just don’t want to fuck things up.” Between them...or as a group.

\---

“I don't either. You mean a lot to me.” That's what had prompted him to kiss him in the first place. He lowered his eyes, his fingers stroking through Varric's hair in a rather tender way. “I trust you. I've never trusted anyone. Not even Hawke.” He trusted their leader a lot more than most. But it still wasn't like this.

\---

He sighed, lowering his own gaze. “We can’t do this.” He drew his arms back, though one did fall to rest on his thigh in what was meant to be a comforting gesture. “I can’t-... I’m not-... Ah hell, I’m not made for this kind of stuff, Broody.” If Fenris was saying what he seemed to be saying, he was just setting him up for disappointment. He’d been through enough and the idea of causing him more mistrust was something he couldn’t stand.

“I’m a better friend than I am… whatever else.”

\---

“Then be my friend. Along with...whatever this is.” He leaned in to peck his lips experimentally. “It's very unusual that I would want to do anything like this at all. That's another dark secret I've mine that I've never told you.”

\---

He wasn’t really surprised to hear it, knowing what he did. He was uneasy, not even sure that he wanted this himself, but he’d certainly enjoyed it for what it was. He looked up at him, his expression reading what he was feeling, but he leaned in to give him a kiss of his own.

\---

“Even if this is just tonight, that's alright.” He murmured against his lips. “I enjoy our friendship too much. I'll be happy to go back to playing cards tomorrow night if you don't want this.”

\---

That was a little reassuring, though he wasn’t entirely convinced. Still, he found himself pushing to deepen the kiss, silencing both of them that way. The hand on his thigh slid up to his side and then wrapped his arms back around him.

\---

He closed his eyes and let the kiss deepen, parting his lips for him and letting his tongue come out to play. The hand on Varric's hip slid lower, stroking down to his thigh, then grazing lightly over his cock on the way back up. He wasn't sure he was ready to be touched, as much as he thought he might like to be, but he knew how to touch someone else and so teasing the dwarf came naturally to him.

\---

He sucked in a breath, holding it as the graze made him twitch. He ended up breaking the kiss again, though the whole point of it was stop talking. “Uh, one other thing, Broody.” He looked up at him with a sheepish smirk. “I’ve never, uh, done this before. With a man, I mean. You’ll have to… help me out.”

\---

“I've never been with a man I didn't loathe before. This will be new for us both. But I know what to do so just relax and let me please you.” It would be easiest for both of them that way. He pressed a line of kisses along his jaw, his hand giving Varric a firmer rub.

\---

The first bit of what he had to say didn’t really help the mood, but the last bit did. The effect was about as mixed as to be expected, but the rub helped to counter that. “...By all means.” His body was beginning to heat in anticipation and he tilted his head, giving him further access to his jaw.

\---

The elf took the space he was given, kissing his neck and nipping at a spot he liked before he began to suck on it. He gave him a firm squeeze, then continued to rub him. He thought of the night he'd seen Varric stroking himself and it gave him a throb of arousal, driving him to roll his hips into him a little even though he was already using a hand to stimulate him.

\---

His own hands resumed exploring, the feel of leather and the heat of his body beneath it so pleasant. He was appreciating the his tight armor in a way he never had before, just as he was the rest of this. His breathing deepened as he was rubbed, thickening against his hand, and his own hips responded, rocking against him. He really liked the mouth on him and in the interest of keeping it moving, he shrugged off jacket and tore off his gloves, letting his tunic, which was already wide open, slide from his shoulders.

\---

He pulled back enough to admire the skin revealed for a moment, then began to take advantage. He needed both hands to explore the torso that was now bare, so he slid forward on his lap, letting his hips provide the friction to keep simulating him. His lips found Varric's neck again and started kissing along one of his shoulders, his fingers stroking his skin and exploring the chest hair that Isabela always raved about.

\---

His hands couldn’t help but go straight to his hips as soon as he began grinding on him, holding tightly as the feel of his moving body drew heavy breaths from him. He smirked when he felt the fingers slide into the hair of his chest - they always did. “Like that?” he asked, his voice much huskier than it had been up to this point. He lifted a hand up to grab a handful of his hair to tug him up by, bringing their faces close as he looked at him with lust in his eyes.

\---

“It feels as good as the pirate says.” He teased, smirking as he was pulled up to look at him. His fingers found the dwarf’s nipples, teasing them with the pads of his thumbs. His eyes were hungry, tempted by the taste of his flesh and wanting more.

\---

The touch visibly riled him and he pulled him into a brief, demanding kiss. As soon as it broke, he gave them a rough turn, dropping the elf to his back on the bed and coming over him. Without giving him a chance to react, he resumed the ravenous kiss, the positioning making it so their hips were no longer aligned, but not quite caring as he took over.

His concern about not knowing what to do when it came to another man was proving so far unfounded.

\---

The shift in position surprised him, but he went with it seamlessly. He expected himself to tense up a little now that he was beneath him, his control lost, but he was surprised to find he'd managed to stay calm. Varric's body felt so different from what he knew and he imagined that was helping his mind stay in the present. He answered the hungry kiss, his hands roaming him eagerly.

\---

He grinded himself into him, taking friction from between his hip bones. He’d fucked enough humans and elves to know how to deal with the height difference, so he broke the kiss to start working himself lower, taking his turn sampling his neck. The grooves in his skin were interesting and his tongue traced the path they took down.

It wasn’t long before he ran out of skin, though, and he pulled off of him to look down at the clasps on his armor. Dexterous fingers worked to undo them so he could pull the armor off of him and toss it over the edge of the bed. The elf would soon be lying naked on his furs and would feel for himself how good it was on bare skin.

\---

His breathing picked up as he was treated to his mouth, liking the way his tongue felt in the sensitive grooves of his skin. When he started to undress him, Fenris helped him along, not at all shy about being bare in front of someone despite his qualms about being touched. When he was naked, he took the opportunity to stretch on the furs, finding it quite luxurious. “Like that?” He mirrored the question from earlier now that Varric could see all that there was to see, not sure what he'd think between his extensive tattoos and the fact that he'd never been with a man.

\---

He snickered, looking him over curiously. He was unlike anyone he’d seen, the way his body was marked from head to toe in deep tattoos. There was more than he would’ve expected and when he saw they extended into his cock, he winced a little. He’d never dealt with a cock before, but he didn’t find it unappealing, just different. “You’re something, Broody,” he replied, cheeky, “I think the pirate will be jealous of all of the uncharted territory I’m exploring.”

He remained as he was after having stripped him, slowly undoing his sash and unlacing his pants. He pushed them down to reveal his cock, thick and ready for him.

\---

Fenris eyed him as he undressed the rest of the way, his eyes dark with lust. He had seen his cock before, but not quite like this. “She'll be jealous of us both.” He reached for his cock, giving it a squeeze.

\---

When he was left in only his jewelry, he stopped. He was hard-pressed to ever take any of it off and so his skin glinted with gold wherever so adorned. Knowing that he needed to dive in if he was going to do this, he leaned over him and took hold of his cock in return, squeezing it awkwardly. It took a few squeezes for him to get use to the strangeness of touching a cock that wasn’t his own and that was at a completely different angle from what he was use to.

\---

Fenris flinched when he was grabbed, but quickly tried to recover by pressing his hips into his hand, inviting him to touch him more. His breathing had quickened, but he distracted himself with stroking Varric, working his thumb along the grooves it found and squeezing the tip of him before working back down the shaft.

\---

He groaned under his breath - it’d been a while since someone else had touched him and he was finding that his fingers were skilled at manipulating him. Far more skilled than his own, though he’d handled his own cock for so long to be able to work him well enough.

It really seemed he didn’t need any help at all.

“I have oil,” he informed him, pumping him in a firm grasp that he himself liked.

\---

“Good. But let me taste you first.” He shifted himself closer, continuing to stroke him even as his mouth drew near him. He shivered lightly, his markings so sensitive to the strong grasp the dwarf stroked him with. “If that's okay with you, of course.” He kissed the tip of him while he waited for an answer, breathing a low moan over it when Varric touched him just right. 

\---

A shiver ran up his spine, imagining the elf’s mouth wrapped tightly around him. “Go on,” he encouraged, his cock straining with anticipation. If this was the last time it happened, it would be a sight to remember him by. He released him to slide his fingers into his hair, brushing it back from his forehead.

\---

With his blessing, he ran his tongue slowly up him from base to tip. He hadn’t done this in a long time, but he was pleased that the muscle memory came easily to him. He slipped the head of him into his mouth, giving him a slow roll of his tongue, then a firm suck. His hand moved down to his balls, his fingertip running down the seam of his sack, then cupping him to give him a squeeze.

\---

He groaned again, keeping the sound low in his throat. So quiet he scarcely heard it himself. His eyes were fixed on him, watching what he was doing, fingers digging more deeply into his hair. He wished there was even more to grab, but what he had was soft and sleek.

\---

He looked up to him, pleased that he seemed to be enjoying the show. He drew him slowly all the way into his mouth, taking him to his base, then slowly pulled back, letting his tongue work him all the way. When he withdrew, his let his tongue toy with the tip of him, then looked up at him. “You taste as good as I thought you would.” With that, he slid him deep into his mouth again, sucking hard and starting to bob slowly. It seemed he was enjoying himself and happy to take his time with it.

\---

He smiled and barely kept himself from rocking into his mouth. He was taking him better than he expected, proving the elf had a lot of experience in this - he just tried not to think about what he’d said about having never been with someone he wanted to be with. “That feels really good,” he encouraged him, in that same husky voice he’d had since he got caught up in this. He couldn’t stop touching his face, brushing his fingers over his brow and his cheek, even touching the his bottom lip as it stretched around him.

\---

The caresses were nice and he watched the dwarf serenely as he sucked him. Everything about this was so different, nothing at all like Tevinter. The feel of him was also refreshingly different and he began to bob on him more steadily, sucking him harder as he built up his pace. His hand worked his sack, rubbing and squeezing, massaging his balls as he went.

\---

It really did feel good and as he grew more consistent in what he was doing, the more the dwarf showed his pleasure. It came to a point that he had to tip his head back, lips parting, and by then, he lost the fight over his hips, beginning to thrust them shallowly into his mouth. He didn’t want this to end, but as long as it’d been since he’d had it, it was getting to him.

He forced his head down, using a hand to still him as his eyes found him. “You want me?” he asked, leaving it up to him. If not, he’d be happy to let this play out as it was. If he did, though, they needed to switch it up.

\---

He’d been caught up in his work and it took him a moment to stop when the hand stilled him. He pulled off of him and met his gaze, hoping that his apprehension wasn’t obvious on his face. His heart was pounding in his ears and he swallowed a lump forming in his throat before he nodded. “Yes.” To make up for his hesitation, he smirked and continued. “So long as you’ll let me finish sucking you dry some other time.”

\---

He didn’t know if this would happen again, so he answered the smirk with his own. He pulled away from him, going to grab some oil that he kept close at hand. He’d done this before, just with women. He poured some into his hand and began to slicken his cock. He couldn’t resist working himself a little, pent up as he was, and when he let go, he moved to settle between his legs.

He knew it had been a while for him and in the interest of not hurting him, he decided to start with his fingers and touched his entrance. He assumed that this was right, that there was nothing else to consider, so he went right for it, occupying his mouth with the soft skin of his belly as he slid a finger inside of him.

\---

He hadn’t expected him to try to prepare him for this and he was very appreciative. He’d begun to shiver when the finger touched his entrance and he gasped softly when it slid inside. It didn’t hurt, which was a huge relief, and it helped him to focus on the mouth on his stomach. He reached a hand down, slipping it into the hair that he’d already knocked loose of its binding.

\---

His eyes fixed upwards, rather enjoying the way he kept going for his hair. The tie was completely gone and it hung in loose locks around his face, looking far more mussed than he would ever allowed if he were in public. He began to pump the finger while his tongue traced his tattoos again -  they were the far most interesting thing about his body. They gave him a path to follow and when one forked and he came to the end of a swirl, he nipped his flesh.

\---

The tongue was doing wonders for him and his body, tight as it was after so long, was adjusting nicely to the intrusion. It was starting to feel good and he found himself rocking his hips a little to encourage it. “Curl your finger up a little. When you feel something in there, press on it.” He encouraged in a breathy moan. Varric had asked him to help him and he would - he didn’t know how it would feel for himself, he just knew it was what one was supposed to do.

\---

He didn’t question it. He just did as he was told, not only curling his finger, but adding another to join it. He searched and it took a few tries for him to brush what felt out of place and what must be the spot. He rubbed his fingers against it and then pressed firmly, watching his reaction closely to see what he thought.

\---

He knew it was right the moment Varric hit the spot. His hips shuddered and he groaned a little louder than he meant to, rocking his hips with more enthusiasm. “Yes, just like that…” He had no idea it could feel so good, his fingers tightening a little in the dwarf’s hair.

\---

He seemed to be pleasing him and it gave him a lot of smug satisfaction to see his reactions. He worked the spot intently, his fingers strong and quick, his cock throbbing all the while. He wanted him and the longer he neglected himself, the more he wanted to bury himself inside of him. He waited until he couldn’t anymore and then he drew his fingers back to replace them with his cock - he didn’t hesitate, pushing into him and feeling the body stretch to receive him.

\---

If he hadn’t been worked with his fingers already, he likely would have panicked. He drew in a sharp breath and he tensed, but he managed not to shy away as the cock plunged deep inside of him. He focused on the feel of the furs beneath his back and the sight of the man between his thighs. This was different. All of it was so, so different. Varric cared about him and this was going to be good. He took some slow breaths to steady himself, then pressed his hips up to help him reach even deeper inside of him.

\---

He groaned, this time not at all quiet. He worked himself deeper, until the elf had all of him and he was completely wrapped in tight muscles. He leaned over him, coming level only to his chest. The lack of breasts were disappointing, but he that didn’t stop him from occupying himself with his nipples, closing his lips around one and sucking hard as he began to take him, his thrusts firm and deep.

\---

It felt so good - he couldn’t believe the difference in how it felt when he was in the right mindset. His nipples had never been teased in such a way and it only heightened the sensations, prompting him to rock his hips readily into his thrusts. Rusty as he was at this, he hadn’t forgotten the tricks taught to him by the bed slaves at the estate and his muscles tightened to grip Varric as he rammed into him, moaning out his name in delight as the added friction added a new depth of pleasure for him as well.

\---

The sound of his name brought a prickle to the back of his neck and he lifted his head to watch him, eyes heated. He tended to be quiet in bed, making only low sounds from time to time, but the way he was being squeezed was pulling out groans with every few thrusts. He shifted back, grabbing his legs and pulling them up, letting him hook over his shoulders as he pounded himself into him, the bed quivering beneath them.

\---

The elf was plenty flexible, hooking his legs over his shoulders and then bending them up a little further to help Varric angle in deeper yet. His cock was aching and he wasn’t expecting the other to work him, but then, he had asked him for help and had followed his guidance before. One hand fell from Varric’s hair, moving to find one of his hands, and guided it to his throbbing cock.

\---

He was distracted by what he was doing and what it was giving him, so he was somewhat surprised when he realized what was being asked of him. Of course. He took hold of him and began to stroke, his hand still somewhat slick from the oil he’d used. The split in his attention made his thrusts a little less efficient, but he managed to find a rhythm that saw to both of their needs.

A rhythm that was soon turning desperate, his cock pulsing inside him, his expression etched with pleasure.

\---

As soon as he took him in hand, he swore in Tevene, his hips starting to urge him faster. When the pace grew wild, he was happy to meet it, his muscles squeezing him with even more strength as the pleasure built tension in his body. He moaned his name again, but the rest of what he had to say in his passion came out in breathy Tevene, his body giving little shivers as his first release in a long time neared.

\---

The reactions were near as good as what he was feeling and he wanted to bring him to before he came. He wanted to, but everything he’d been given up to this point had pushed him so close. He moaned as he fucked him as hard as he could, the final few thrusts relentless, and then he spilled with a guttural sound, filling the elf with stuttering thrusts that came to an abrupt halt when he gave him his last splash of seed.

\---

It was halfway through Varric’s release that Fenris tumbled over the edge. He gasped sharply, bucking his hips to help the last few thrusts along as the strokes pumped a thick load from him. His muscles contracted around the cock inside him beyond his control and when it was over, he sprawled on the furs, panting softly for breath.

\---

The dwarf was left shaking, feeling strangely weak as he held himself up. He eased out of him and dropped beside him, sighing in contentment  to himself, sweat rolling down from his brow to soak into the furs beneath them. He found he was content in the silence, shutting his eyes and letting the afterglow wash over him.

\---

Fenris stretched, enjoying the lingering pleasure now that he was recovering. It hadn’t hurt. It had been really good and he’d enjoyed every moment of it. After he’d had some time to catch his breath, he looked over to Varric, finally breaking the silence in a soft tone. “So how was it? Your first time with a man…”

\---

His lips quirked. “Ultimately, not all that different from a woman.” His eyes opened and he turned his head to look at him. “It’s been a while for me.” He didn’t really talk about himself, so even saying that much was revealing more than the elf knew.

\---

“Then still pretty good, I assume.” He watched him with lazy, lingering pleasure in his eyes, his hair falling into his face as he turned his head to get a better look at him. “That surprises me. You’re charming, I imagined you took women to bed often.”

\---

He laughed. “Broody, I could have a woman every night, if I wanted to.” That wasn’t an exaggeration, either. He did have a charm about him and the women practically fell over themselves for him. Not all of them, of course, but most. It might’ve helped that he was becoming increasingly well-known with his novels, but he liked to think it was his dashing good looks and his silver tongue.

\---

“I appreciate that you choose not to. It would be really awkward to hang out in here with you all the time if you constantly had a new woman all over you.” He chuckled under his breath as well. He didn’t doubt Varric, sure that he could talk nearly anyone into bed if he wanted.

\---

He grinned. “Luckily for you, Bianca is my only girl.” The only one he’d ever entertained a relationship with, though as far as anyone else was concerned, he was just oddly fond of his crossbow. He tucked his hands beneath his head, weaving his fingers together. It was getting late and he ought to get going, but he wasn’t going to kick him out any time soon.

\---

“That is lucky for me. She sits over there quietly while we play our games and read our books.” He turned up onto his side toward him, bunching up a bit of the furs to rest his head on. He grew a little more solemn, but his eyes were still soft as he watched him. “...Thank you, Varric. For getting me to talk about Lena.” It had been much earlier in the night, but it had lead to some healing for him in more ways than one.

\---

He turned his head, looking at him from the side and shrugging. He wasn’t making light of it, just letting him know that it wasn’t a big deal. “You can talk about whatever you want - I’ll listen.” The only thing he was better at than listening was telling stories. He could probably tell Fenris his own stories back at him and make them far more intriguing, but he knew better than to share his stories.

\---

“I know. You’re a good listener and it does help me.” He wouldn’t have thought talking about any of that would bring him anything but misery. But once the wounds were reopened, they seemed to heal again a little cleaner and a little more manageable. “You could always do the same, if there is anything you want to talk about. I don’t know if I can help you the way you help me, but I can always listen.”

\---

The offer didn’t surprise him, but he didn’t take it seriously. He knew he meant it, but he didn’t have anything to say. Even if he did, it would be better off written down and put into a book. Everyone could read it and no one would understand, but it would be out there and off his chest.

“Oh, I think you just about know everything there is to know about me. I’m a simple man.”

\---

“Bullshit. There is nothing simple about you.” He smirked, his mood lightening a little again. “Even your bed is extravagant. And very comfortable, by the way.” Especially naked. It was going to take a concerted effort to get out of it. Eventually.

\---

“Well, you only get one life, so you might as well enjoy it.” Sleep was already divine, so why not make it even better? He loved his bed and the nights spent out on hard dirt with Hawke and the rest of them were always regretful, knowing what awaited him at home in Kirkwall. “We’ll have to get you some furs to cover your bed with so you can sleep in style too.”

\---

“I might sleep more often if my bed was this comfortable.” Doubtful. But it would make nights lying awake more enjoyable. “I could almost sleep here.” He could hardly remember the last time he’d slept anywhere besides the mansion. The exception in the last year being a time he’d been injured badly out on a mission. He’d very reluctantly accepted healing and once he’d been mended, he’d fallen asleep while the others had prepared dinner. Hawke had been so shocked to actually see him crash that he’d insisted no one wake him until they were ready to pack up camp and leave the next morning.

\---

He wasn’t really keen on sharing his bed, but he knew how little he slept and if it meant him getting some sleep... This was exactly why they shouldn’t have done this, but he couldn't really bring himself to regret it right now. “You can stick around if you fetch me breakfast in the morning.” There, a compromise that he rather liked.

\---

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I just wasn’t ready to move yet.” He’d just been thinking out loud when he’d mentioned being able to sleep here. But it did feel like a distinct possibility, as heavy as his eyelids were. “If you’re sure you don’t mind, I will be happy to repay your hospitality with breakfast. A really good breakfast, at that.”

\---

“Well, don’t leave me hanging. What will I be getting in the morning?” It was late enough that he was a little hungry and the topic of conversation was welcome. He wouldn’t mind going to sleep fantasizing about what was to come… perhaps then he wouldn’t fall asleep fantasizing about his mouth on his cock.

\---

“I don’t know yet. Whatever Lady Margo is making. Her dinner menu is more predictable depending on the time of the week, but her breakfast meals are whatever fits her mood that particular morning.” He’d treated Varric to dinner from Margo’s a couple times now, but breakfast would definitely be a first since they usually spent time together in the evenings.

\---

He gave a playfully exasperated sound. “You’re terrible at this, Broody. You’re supposed to tell me about the roasted potatoes, covered in butter and spices, golden and steaming. Tell me about the thick cuts of ham, the seared crackling skin and dripping juices.” He went on, describing his idea of a perfect breakfast in detail, leaving out no description that wasn’t mouthwatering. By the end, he was hungry and looking rather forward to waking up the next morning.

\---

“Now I'm hungry.” Fenris chuckled, running his fingers over the fur in front of him. “Now that you've said all that, I'll bet Margo’s arthritis will be acting up and it'll be porridge for everyone.” Doubtful, but it happened on rare occasion. But even on her worst days, everyone who came to her was fed so he could count on something for breakfast.

\---

“I was promised a ‘really good breakfast’. If you come back with porridge, you’re never getting in my bed again.” He pushed himself up so he could move what were unsurprisingly plush, feather pillows. There was a blanket draped over the corner post of the headboard and he pulled it over him, settling in for the night.

\---

“I'd better find something up to your standards then, you've got a very comfy bed. The sex was good too.” He'd never thought it would be so easy to joke about. But Varric was his friend and it was so comfortable with him. He took a pillow for himself but didn't bother with the blanket, content to stay bare on the furs.

\---

He turned his head to look at him, amused. He wasn’t only amused - he was glad that it’d gone well for him. Knowing what he did, though Fenris hadn’t gone into detail about any of it, Varric knew it must’ve been difficult for him. He’d seen the signs of it all throughout, but he’d obviously enjoyed himself in the end.

“Glad to be of service.”

\---

“I just might service you tomorrow before breakfast to show my appreciation.” He did want to finish what he'd started before. He liked the way he tasted, but he wanted to know how his reward for bringing him to that way would taste.

\---

His brow quirked. “You’re dirtier than you seem, elf.” He wouldn’t have ever thought he’d hear him talk like that - though he also wouldn’t have ever thought he’d want to talk like that to him. “Let me guess - you’ve wanted this ever since you walked in on me and saw how thick my cock is.”

\---

“In honesty, no. Though listening to the women going at it had gotten my blood rushing that night.” He didn't know hearing that would affect him that way, but it certainly did. “But tonight when I decided this was what I wanted, I did remember how thick you were when I saw you that night and I wanted to feel it for myself.”

\---

The fact that it had been spur of the moment was reassuring, but the response amused him. “You really are awful at this, Broody.” he teased, settling back against his pillow and letting his eyes shut. He was tired after all of that and he was eager to get some sleep.

\---

“Give me time. If I stick around, I'm sure I'll pick up on it.” He closed his eyes as well, a smirk on his lips. “Hang on, let me try again. Yes. Varric. Ever since that night I've been imagining your thick, throbbing cock inside of me. Taking me harder and faster, making me scream your name in ecstasy as I stroked myself to the thought of your strong hand grasping me the way you were holding yourself that night…” Listening to the smutty books helped this along, of course.

\---

His brows lifted, though his eyes remained closed. “Alright, fine, I take it back. You’re not that bad.” The smile on his lips could be heard in his voice.

\---

“See? I'm a slow learner, but I'll catch on.” There was a smile in his own voice as well. He nestled his cheek into his pillow, finding it so much better than his own back home.

\---

Perhaps, if this continued. “Goodnight, elf.” He gave a contented hum and let his body relax. Good as he felt, it took but minutes for him to fall under, light snores filling the room.

\---

“Juli san.” He murmured, letting his own breathing deepen. He was truly exhausted and far more relaxed than usual. Despite the snoring, he fell asleep quickly, resting peacefully and dreamlessly.


	5. Chapter 5

Fenris woke early in the morning, feeling wonderfully refreshed. He always looked healthier after a full night of sleep, his eyes a brighter green than usual. For a time, he was content to watch the dwarf, not wanting to wake him. Not particularly wanting to move either, as comfortable as he was. He was going to have to get some furs.

It was late morning when his stomach began to growl. He was quite hungry, usually taking his breakfast much earlier, and he wanted to get to Margo’s before she got too deep into dinner preparations. He moved in a little closer, sliding a hand beneath the blanket to stroke along the thick hair of his chest, lazily wandering over to find a nipple and give it a tease with his thumb as he had the night before.

\---

The dwarf hummed, enjoying the touch even in the depths of his slumber. He pulled in a deep breath and when he exhaled, his eyes cracked open, bleary with sleep. He spied the splash of white in the darkness of his room and then they shut one more. “Broody,” he acknowledged, recalling what had happened the night before.

\---

“Avanna.” He greeted in return letting his hand shift to the other side, teasing that nipple as well. “I was about to go get something to eat. But I thought I'd say good morning before I head out.” By the way he started to slide himself beneath the blanket and between his thighs, it seemed there was something else he wanted to do before leaving.

\---

His eyes opened again and he looked down at him, his thighs parting a little to make room for him as he settled between them. “Avanna to you too, then.” He gave him a crooked smile, but stayed as he was, seeming to wait for what he was going to do.

\---

The elf was nearly obscured by the blanket, but smirked up to him from beneath it. “Tevene sounds good from your tongue.” Most people who tried to speak it slaughtered it, but it was a simple enough word. He didn't tease him so much this time, drawing him into his mouth and giving him some firm sucks to start hardening him. He made up for the direct approached by working him thoroughly with his tongue, seeking out the nooks and grooves that had gotten the best responses the night before.

\----

He sucked in a sharp breath and held it, before letting it go with a slow sigh. Since the blanket covered most of what there was to see, he shut his eyes and savored the sensations, slipping his hands beneath his head like the night before. The smile on his lips lingered and he looked to be the picture of contentment as he began to harden in his mouth.

\---

Fenris would have smiled at the sight of him if his mouth wasn't busy. He continued to suck him to his full size, this time letting his mouth do all of the work and waiting until he was completely hard before his hand joined in to massage his balls. He started to bob along the length of him, sucking him hard and focusing his tongue on the spots he liked best.

\---

He hadn’t been sure this would happen, but here they were. He was quiet in his pleasure, the signs he showed subtle, his hips lifting slightly, his body tensing slightly, his breath changing slightly. His fingers itched to dig, but he kept them as they were, leaving his body completely open to his ministrations.

\---

He could tell Varric was enjoying himself and that was enough for him. He started to take him faster, building his pace steadily though he wasn't in any rush. He wanted to savor this. Even if he was eager for breakfast, this was too nice of a job to hurry through.

\---

The pace was especially nice. He always liked it when whoever was sucking him took their time so that he could savor it. He especially nice when they samed to savor it just as much. It was always much more satisfying in the end. The longer it went on, the more he reacted, his heavy breaths filling the room, groans that he couldn’t quite hold back.

\---

He enjoyed earning the stronger reactions, encouraging them with squeezes to his balls or extra swipes of his tongue. He sucked harder, continuing to gradually increase his pace at a very slow rate. He wanted to taste his release, but he also wanted to enjoy his sounds while they lasted.

\---

Eventually his hands had to fall and when they did, they dug into the furs beneath him. His head tipped back and he murmured a breathless warning to the elf, so close to giving him what he wanted. It only took a little longer from that point, his entire body tensing as he came to the edge and then tipped over with a load moan, spilling into his mouth.

\---

Fenris had been ready, pulling off a little at the warning so he could focus on his head and be ready to catch his release. He made a soft, pleased sound when he got it, swallowing down his load and then licking him clean. When he was finished, he crawled up to rest at Varric’s side again, a smirk on his lips.

\---

He met his gaze when he was joined, a crooked smile on his lips. “That was a hell of a wake up call, if I do say so myself.” He’d rather enjoyed it and his eyes were much brighter than they would have been if he’d just woken and that was all.

\---

“I thought you might like that.” If he had to wake him, it seemed like the right way to do it. “Are you hungry? I was thinking I'd go get breakfast for us.”

\---

“The sooner the better,” he agreed, not quite hungry, but knowing it wouldn’t take long for the feeling to hit him. He pushed himself up to sit, the blanket pulling at his waist. He gave himself a stretch, letting his arms and knuckles crack.

\---

Fenris sat up as well, reluctant to leave the furs. He was somewhat hard from sucking the dwarf, but didn't seem particularly wound up. “Agreed. I'm pretty hungry. And I have a good feeling it won't just be porridge today.” He rose to his feet, stretching with a groan and looking for his discarded clothing.

\---

He watched him go, but had no interest in stopping him or prolonging the fun. He was satisfied and he did want the breakfast that had been promised to him. He wasn’t sure how long it would take him to get back here, but he could probably wash up and get ready for the day in that time.

\---

Fenris waved on his way out once he was dressed, eager to get on his way for breakfast. He nearly walked right into Isabela, who was waiting in the hallway and walked right into Varric's room when the door opened, moving right in to sit on his bed despite him being bare. “We have to talk.”  She said this gravely, glancing to the doorway to be sure the elf had gone.

\---

Varric groaned to himself under his breath when he caught sight of her. He wasn’t at all jarred by her showing up when he was naked - she’d burst in a couple times while he was in varying states of undress - but he knew that if she was walking in and making herself known, it had to be for a reason. A reason that had just walked out the door and past her.

“Yes, Rivani?” He made his annoyance known.

\---

She stared at him intently, studying him. “I have to know…” She drew in a deep breath, as if choosing her words with great care. “Do his tattoos go everywhere? Does he light up when he cums?”

\---

He rolled his eyes. “Get out.” It wasn’t said harshly, but he wasn’t in the mood to entertain her when he just woke up. It was too early for this. He should’ve known that she would catch on, but he’d would have preferred that no one know what happened. Ideally, it would’ve stayed between them. “Keep this to yourself while you’re at it.”

\---

“Come on, you've got information I've wanted forever.” She was normally quick to go when she wasn't wanted, but this time she flopped down onto the furs where Fenris had been, breathing in his scent. The bed smelled faintly of sex and sweet passionate sweat, just the way she liked it. “And you sound so good when you cum. Why is it that I've been trying so long to get both of you to bed and instead of me you had to go and fuck each other?”

\---

“Keep trying, maybe you’ll find out.” He wouldn’t care if they fucked. Hell, he wouldn’t care if they paired off - it would ultimately be better for everyone that way. He shrugged and since she intended on staying, he threw off the blanket and slipped off the bed. He went for his clothing, starting to draw it on.

\---

She watched him with hungry eyes, always appreciating the sight of him bare whenever she got a glimpse. “I like to think I'll have both of you eventuality. Maybe even at the same time now that you're fucking.” She stretched on his furs. “In the meantime, you can at least describe his tattoos for me. The ones you can't see, tell me all about them with that silver tongue of yours.”

\---

“We’re not fucking,” he argued, pulling on his boots and his gloves. So much for a wash. “We just… happened to fuck.” He really did  not like talking about his sex life. It was a topic he rarely broached, unless the person, or persons, in question were ones he just met and never saw again.

“If you’re really that curious, just barge into his place in the morning - you’ll sneak a glimpse eventually.”

\---

“It'll be easier if he spends more nights here and I can just barge into your room.” She sat up again, watching him finish putting himself together. “Was he that bad of a lay? That you just ‘happened to fuck’ and he's not going to be your new plaything? He couldn't have been that bad, I heard you singing for him this morning right before he left.”

\---

“Unlike you, I prefer not to mix business with pleasure.” By allowing this at all, he had, but Fenris had made it clear that he could separate this from their friendship. “...Besides, the kid was talking about feelings.” Not in quite the way his wording suggested, but there had been implications.

\---

“Really? Your ‘Broody’ of all people has feelings?” She said it with great pity, as if it was the worst outcome possible. “So you had him one more time this morning, then kicked him out?”

\---

Fenris wasn’t his anything, but he didn’t feel the need to say as much. “I didn’t kick him out - he’s going to get breakfast.” Which meant that she ought to get going before he returned. He really didn’t want her here when he arrived, pestering them with questions and opinions. “We’re friends and we’ll stay that way,” he explained with a shrug, moving to sit down at his table.

\---

“Oh, so he'll be back. I knew you'd be too sweet to do that, even if he tried to ruin good sex with feelings.” She rose to her feet, knowing she’d be especially unwelcome once the elf returned. “I’ll get out of your hair. Just...try to go easy on him, okay? I don’t think he’s ever put himself in a vulnerable position like this before so he might not take rejection well.” The way he was so guarded with everyone seemed evidence of that enough, though she didn’t know nearly as much about him as Varric did.

\---

He frowned at that, finding himself rather resentful of her concern. Coming from her, it was rich. “Why don’t you let me worry about things between the elf and I?” He’d handled him well enough that Fenris liked him, so he could handle this just the same. He didn’t think he’d appreciate her advocating for him any more than Varric did.

\---

“Alright, alright. Just trying to be considerate, for once.” She started out the door, then looked back to him with a smirk that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll stay out of it unless what’s between the elf and you happens to be me.” With that, she headed back for her own room.

\---

He watched her go, the exchange making what had been a pleasant morning so far decidedly less so. He shook his head to himself, unable to believe she’d actually asked him to be nice to him. Deciding he could do with a distraction until he returned, he grabbed a stack of parchment and his quill and started writing, having a little renewed muse for the chapter he was currently working on.

\---

It didn’t take much longer for Fenris to return, hauling with him plenty of food for the both of them. He set up their meals on the table, removing the lids from their servings. “Not exactly what you were hoping for last night, I’m afraid. But I can assure you, it’s very tasty.” The presentation wasn’t as fancy as her usual dishes, but the smell promised to make up for it. She’d made a breakfast hash filled with potatoes, eggs, sausage, onions, a colorful variety of peppers fresh from her garden, with cheese grated over the top. The entire meal looked to be smothered in butter and seasonings. “Take a bite and tell me if it passes for an acceptable breakfast to make up for sleeping over.”

\---

He looked up when the door opened, almost expecting it to be her returning, so he was glad to see Fenris and what he was carrying. He pulled the plate closer, examining it eagerly. “Smells good,” he confirmed, even if it was just a mess of food. A colorful mess. He slipped out of his chair to grab silverware, carrying enough over for both of them, before dropping back into his seat and taking a bite. He hummed, immediately going for another.

“What can I say? The woman can cook.”

\---

“I know.” He almost groaned out his agreement after his first few bites. “Someday I might learn to cook the way she does. But in the meantime, I’m happy to hand her my coin for regular meals like this.” He couldn’t always indulge and he made simple things at home. But he still ate Margo’s food more often this his own.

\---

“You have to spend it on something.” He was a rather wealthy man himself, especially after their expedition into the Deep Roads, but unlike Hawke, who’d spent a good chunk of his on a mansion, he’d kept living the way he had all along. The money continued to roll in and he spent his where it mattered - influence. What was left was either thrown away into a safe or splurged, though he did trend towards the latter more than the former. “Might as well be worldly comforts.”

\---

“That’s how I see it. Good meals give me strength for the next battle, so I consider it a business expense.” It made for an excuse for his indulgences anyway. “Furs for my bed might have to be my next business expense. It won’t help me sleep any more than I do, but it will be good incentive to lie down and rest.”

\---

He chuckled, the idea of food as a business expense amusing to him. By that logic, almost anything could be considered a business expense. “I’m telling you, Broody, we’ll make a stop at Blondie’s today. We can get something to help you sleep.” There was no need for him to deprive himself of something as vital as sleep if he didn’t have to - it wasn’t really safe for any of them if their warrior was not at his best.

\---

“I don’t want to be drugged. I don’t want to have one of my nightmares of Tevinter and not be able to wake up. Or have slavers come in the night and stay sleeping until I’m already in chains.” He didn’t doubt that the mage could concoct something that would make him sleep. But he didn’t want to be trapped by it, trusting his own ability to wake himself up if something happened. “Last night was the first night I’ve slept peacefully in a long time.”

\---

He rested his cheek on his palm as he ate, watching him. “You need to get out of that mansion - obviously being alone there is doing you no favors. We’ll get you a room here. I think there’s one at the far end of the hall that’s open, so you’ll have your space from everyone else.” There was a certain atmosphere that came with living in a bar, but he enjoyed it and from what he’d seen of him, he didn’t think the elf minded. “It’ll be good for you.”

\---

“...You’re probably right.” Being there alone had never bothered him until lately. Now he was especially restless on his nights pacing the mansion by himself. “I would miss my fireplace, though. Is it expensive to live here? I’d hate to give up my lavish eating.” He took an especially rich bite of breakfast after saying so.

\---

“Nah, it’s not too bad.” It actually was somewhat expensive, but he could help circumvent that. “I’ll talk to the proprietor for you, though I was actually considering just buying the place myself.” Then he wouldn’t have to pay his own rent and he could charge the occupants whatever he wanted. “We could have to moved in by the end of the day, if you want.”

\---

“Really? That surprises me, but I guess it would be a smart move to buy the place. You’d make money instead of spending it living here and you could kick the pirate out when she gets too loud.” He smirked, stirring his breakfast in thought before he took another bite. “If it’s something I can afford along with my other expensive tastes, I’ll do it.” It would be nice to be closer to Varric. To have someone just down the hall when he needed to talk or just play cards.

\---

He took another few bites. “Stay here. I’ll be back.” He took yet another bite, finishing all but a few scraps, and slipping off his chair. He left the room, leaving the elf alone inside it. It wasn’t often he let anyone into his room if he wasn’t there, but he’d left him alone from time to time to fetch drinks or the like.

\---

The elf did as he was told, staying just where he was and finishing his breakfast. He’d never had any interest in rooting around the dwarf’s room when he was left on his own. He didn’t like his own space messed with and he gave Varric’s room the same respect. When he’d finished his meal, he slouched back in the chair, full and very content.

\---

It was some time later, longer than he’d ever left him, that the dwarf returned, alone, a key in his hand. He sat down in his seat and pushed the key towards him. “How’s two gold a month?” It was actually five gold a month, but he’d agreed to pay the difference. For the likes of them, that price wasn’t all that bad, earning quick coin the way they did with Hawke. For anyone else in Kirkwall, it was a steep price. The most expensive place to live in Lowtown by far - it took a lot of people a year to save up two gold.

\---

“That’s not bad at all.” And he could definitely keep up his wine and Margo habits that way. He picked up the key and looked at it as if he’d never seen one, turning it in his fingers. “...Thank you, Varric. I think this will help.”

\---

“I imagine you don’t have much to move. We could bring it over whenever you want today.” If he even had enough for two to carry. He imagined he didn’t have much more than that, seeing what he had of his place whenever he stopped in.

\---

“I don’t have much, no. It will take me a couple trips but I can do it on my own. I took up your night, it’s not fair for me to take up your day as well.” He definitely didn’t want to wear out his welcome with the dwarf. Especially after he pushed the boundaries of their friendship the night before.

\---

“Suit yourself.” He wasn’t going to push. If Fenris wanted to do it alone, then he could do it alone. “I should get going soon, though. I have a meeting with Hawke this morning.” He didn’t think it would last long, but if they were done for the day, then it didn’t matter how long the meeting went on.

\---

“Alright.” He rose to his feet, not wanting to hold him up any longer than he already had. “I’ll be moved in by tonight. So if you want to play some dice or read, stop by my room.” He said it with a slight smirk. It was funny to think that he had his own room in the Hanged Man.

\---

He offered him a smile and a nod. “See you later.” He wasn’t sure if he’d stop in, knowing that he did need to start distancing himself from him. Having him stay in the same place wasn’t exactly the best way to do so, but there was no reason why they had to spend any more time together than they already had just because he was nearby. The proximity was in the interest of not only making sure he was safe, but making sure he felt safe.

\---

“See you.” He headed out then, but rather than go straight out, he went to his new room instead. He wanted to see what his new space would be like. It had the basic furniture he’d expected - a bed, a table with a handful of chairs, a small dresser, and a bookshelf. It was enough for him, but he would indeed miss his chair and his fireplace. He’d also miss having his own private place to wash up, but he imagined the community washroom was quiet enough to suit his needs. Satisfied, he headed out to collect his things and do a little shopping for the new place.


	6. Chapter 6

Varric ended up waiting until the next night to stop in. He knew some space would do them good, but he wanted to see how he was doing with his new space. He knocked on the door, a bottle of wine in one hand and a sack in the other. He figured they’d could play a few rounds of cards and then he could head off to bed - it had ended up being a long day and he was looking forward to dropping into his bed that night.

\---

Fenris hadn’t really been expecting company and so he was pleasantly surprised by the knock on the door. He’d thought maybe Varric wanted more space between them and so he didn’t know if it would be quite awhile before the dwarf made time for him again. Isabela had caught him moving his things in and so she’d toured his room once or twice already, so he didn’t think she’d be stopping by at this time in the evening, usually down in the bar entertaining herself with the patrons. When he opened the door and saw Varric, he smiled and gestured him in. “Nice of you to stop by.”

The place was sparse, considering he’d had very little to bring over. The bookshelf was nearly empty - housing a single book on one shelf, several rows of wine bottles on the lowest shelf, and nothing else. His sword was propped up against it. His dresser was almost as empty, though at least the drawers made it less obvious. His bed was covered in furs - not so many as Varric’s, but a good starter collection.

\---

He stepped in and began to look around. It was about what he expected, but when he caught sight of the bed, he snorted loudly. He tossed the sack at him, figuring he’d catch it. “Here I was, going to make a big deal about getting you your first.” He moved closer to the table and set the bottle of wine on it, making himself comfortable and taking a seat.

\---

“You have finer taste than I do. You don’t have to get my first. You can make a big deal of getting me my best.” He’d caught the sack and he carried it with him to the dresser. He pulled out two goblets and brought them over to the table, taking a seat and then peeking inside of the bag.

\---

He busied himself with pouring the wine for both of them, giving them both a generous helping. Inside the sack was a thick fur that seemed to take up all the room. It was jet black and if pulled out, the size of it would clearly indicate that it’d come from a large bear. Also inside, and far less obvious, was a box of cards, brand new and just about as ornate as the dice that had been given to him months ago.

\---

“See? You’ve already accomplished the mission. This is the best one.” Fenris said with a smirk as he pulled out the massive fur. He ran his fingers through it, then lifted it to rest a cheek against it, humming his approval. It was only when he stood to lift the fur the rest of the way out of the sack that he saw the box of cards. He carried the fur to his bed to spread it over the top of the others, then moved back to the table to open the box. He emptied the cards out into his palm, then started to rifle through them, appreciating the art that went into them. “Thank you, Varric. All of this is really nice of you.” Not only the gifts, but him giving him the push he needed to move out of the mansion.

\---

He shrugged, “Have you get you started off in style.” He took a sip of his wine, watching him admire the cards. “Figured we could play a few hands before bed.” They thought to break them in and then he would always have some on hand, in case they ever ended up playing over here.

\---

“What good are cards if we don’t play them?” He took a sip as well, then began to shuffle his new cards. He was careful with them, hating the idea of bending up such a nice deck. “I bought a book too. I was hoping you’d help me read it some time.” He said softly as he dealt their hands.

\---

He hadn’t noticed the book in his brief examination of the room, but his eyes naturally went to the bookshelf and he saw it sitting there, all alone. “Oh yeah? Which one did you pick up?” He was curious if he even knew the name of it, or if he’d just grabbed something that had looked interesting from the outside. He really didn’t have to, since he had enough books to last them the year and then some, but perhaps Fenris wanted to start his own collection.

\---

“I don’t know. They say not to judge a book by its cover, but when you can’t read it, that is the best option. But I recognized a couple words on it. It’s ‘A dragon’s…’ something. I liked the way it looked.” He stacked the remaining cards, then looked over his hand, rearranging the cards to his liking.

\---

His brows lifted and his eyes went back to the book, looking at it more closely. The lights were dim enough that he couldn’t make out the words on the spine, but he realized he recognized it. He couldn’t help but chuckle - the elf had managed to pick up one of his books without realizing it.

What were the odds of that?

“Sounds interesting, I look forward to reading it.” He drew out his coin purse and set it on the table, throwing out a coin to get the game started properly.

\---

He saw that he’d been looking at the book and he cocked his head a little, grabbing a bit of his own coin to toss onto the table. “Could you read the last word? I want to know what that’s called and I don’t know the last one.” The word he didn’t recognize was ‘Fortune’, but he’d been enamored enough with the cover to pick it up anyway.

\---

He didn’t have to look back at the book to know the title. “Fortune,” he concluded for him, “Think it’s about an actual dragon, or is that just a metaphor?” He took another drink of wine, a little deeper this time, finding it was rather nice. He’d gone all out of his gifts - this bottle was just as nice as what the elf bought for himself.

\---

“In the art, there’s a silhouette of a dragon behind the woman and a silhouette of a warrior behind the man who looks like a farmer. So I think it’s an actual dragon. I hope it is anyway.” He seemed to agree with the quality of the wine because once he took a bigger drink of it, he picked up the bottle to look at the label. There was nothing on it he could read, of course, but he did know what to look for on the wine he liked.

\---

He smirked. “After we finish the book we’re on, we’ll start it.” They were getting close to being done with the current smut-filled drivel they were working on. The Dragon’s Fortune was one of his serious stories and he was looking forward to reading through something like that instead.

\---

“I look forward to it.” He did, though he still liked the story of the smut novellas as well. For someone who had never been able to indulge in books, even the trashy stories were richer than most of the stories he knew by word of mouth alone. “I’m glad I knew some of the words on the new book though. Not just recognized them like the words I can recognize on signs. But I knew them because you read them to me.”

\---

He smiled, pleased to hear it. “Maybe you should try reading that one then.” He’d need a lot of help, but he’d learn a lot quicker of he tried to read it himself. He could supply the words he couldn’t figure out until he didn’t need his help anymore. “Before long, your shelf will be filled with all manner of books.”

\---

“I don’t think I know enough words. It would probably take a very long time for me to try to read it.” It was intimidating to try to do it on his own. He knew Varric would help him, but he didn’t want his patience to wear out. “I do want more books. But since you have so many for us to read, I thought I’d start with one.” One that he hadn’t realized was already on his shelf among the many other books.

\---

“We can start off with only a paragraph at a time.” Have him read a little, then he’d take over. They would figure it out. “You know, the way you’re going, I’m going to have to find a new nickname for you. ‘Broody’ doesn’t really fit anymore, does it?”

\---

“That seems like a good starting place.” One paragraph wasn’t quite so intimidating. At his question, he smirked. “Only when you’re around. When you’re not, I’m still plenty broody. But since you rarely see that, maybe you should choose a new name for me.”

\---

He snorted softly, “Maybe. Or maybe I’ll just stick to the classic.” They were classics for a reason. He took another sip of wine and when they started a new round, he poured himself a little more. Not a full goblet’s worth, but enough that he would have no trouble getting to sleep tonight.

\---

Fenris drank a little faster, quite liking the new wine and pouring himself generous portions. When it seemed they were winding down and Varric had won most, but not all of his coin since he’d had some lucky hands of his own, he looked over to the dwarf. “...Do you want to stay here tonight?” He doubted it, but his bed would be pretty comfortable, especially with the addition of the enormous black bear fur.

\---

The dwarf went still, the offer unexpected, but not surprising. “I should probably get back to my own room.” He offered him a little smile that was almost apologetic. For some reason, he found himself recalling what the pirate had said, which brought back the resentment, but he put that thought aside.

\---

The elf tried to put on a smile as well, but it wasn’t really convincing. “Alright.” It was the answer he’d expected, just not the one he wanted. He knew his advances were unwanted and that he could push the dwarf away if he kept it up. He began to collect the cards, still handling them very gingerly, and tucking them into the box.

\---

He could read his reaction, but all it did was reassure him that his answer was the correct one. “I’ll see you later, Broody.” He hopped down from his chair and made his way to the door, shutting it behind him. He went back to his room, locked his own door, and dropped onto the bed. All in all, it’d been a good day and even the way it ended hadn’t been all that bad.

\---

By the time Fenris had finished putting the cards away and looked up to answer, his friend had gone. Perhaps he’d already pushed him away. He sighed heavily and poured himself another drink. At least he had the rest of the wine to keep him company for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a couple weeks later that Fenris found himself out with Varric, Hawke, and Anders at a campfire. It was a chilly night and so they were all nestled near the fire. It was a little refreshing to be out with the dwarf, having seen him only a few times since he’d invited him to stay the night. But he couldn’t exactly enjoy his company with their leader and the healer being sickeningly sweet with each other. He sighed under his breath, using a stick to stoke the fire even though it didn’t really need stoking.

Hawke only had eyes for Anders, slipping an arm around his lover and pulling him in closer. “It’s cold tonight. We’d better find some way to keep warm.” He said with a smirk in his voice, leaning in to press a firm kiss to his lips.

\---

Anders laughed in a way that could almost be called a giggle, returning the kiss. “Oh stop it, Garrett.” He rarely called him by his true name, only using it when he was getting playfully firm with him. “We’re not exactly alone,” he whispered to him, though he had no issue pressing closer to him, sliding his arms around him in turn.

The pair were paying them no mind and Varric was trying to do the same and give them their privacy. He considered ribbing them, just to get them to knock it off, but he was finding he didn’t really have the voice for it. He stared at the fire, his fingers absently running over the seam of his pants on the inside of his calf.

\---

“I was talking about using your magic. But I can see you had some different ideas.” He sounded playfully appalled that Anders would have his mind in the gutter. He stole another kiss from him, rarely able to refrain from kissing him whenever the stopped to rest somewhere in their missions.

Fenris was trying his best not to listen to them. If he hadn’t just walked the perimeter of their camp very recently, he’d go do that again now just for an excuse to leave. He snapped the stick he’d been prodding the fire with in half, tossing each piece into the fire to feed it.

\---

He gave him a push, but with his arm around him, he no distance was actually created. He returned the kiss again, as soon as the lips touched his, and this time he tried to hold onto it. He wanted it to last and he even went so far as to suck on his lip to keep him drawn in.

The sound of the stick snapping brought his eyes up. They found the elf briefly, then they went to the kissing pair. He couldn’t help but stare then, watching the way Anders kissed him, the way he touched him - that lucky bastard.

\---

He made a soft sound into the kiss, his other hand moving up to hold Anders’ cheek. It seemed he was just fine with making it last, deepening the kiss once he had his lip back and closing his eyes to melt into it.

The elf glanced up at them, then wished he hadn’t and went back to staring at the fire. He murmured something in Tevene under his breath, wishing he had taken a sleeping draught from the mage after all so he could be sleeping through all of this public affection. He busied himself to feeling around for a new stick to play in the fire with to occupy himself.

\---

He was pretty good at being happy for him, for both of them, but right now? He felt like his stomach was hollow and hated it. He didn’t want to feel this way, not when the mage was happier than he’d ever seen him. He found himself rising to his feet and at that point, his eyes went back to the elf, probably even more miserable than he was.

He walked right past him, tapping his shoulder as he did so, slipping away from the camp with footsteps so quiet, his fleeing would have probably gone unnoticed by all of them.

\---

Fenris was surprised to be called away from camp by Varric, but it was fine with him. Anything to get away from the pair sucking face right now. He wasn’t particularly stealthy about getting up to follow him, knowing he wouldn’t be noticed or missed. He followed the dwarf along, imagining he must have something to discuss with him. Though he felt they could talk about nearly anything and not catch the attention of the lovebirds in the camp.

\---

He lead him far enough from the camp that the flickering light of the fire was barely visible. Then he turned and looked up at him, his eyes studying him in the darkness - it was hard to see, but he could make out the shine of his eyes well enough. He reached for the his breastplate suddenly, grabbing hold of it and using it to yank him down, forcing him to bend at the waist, so he could take a kiss from him.

\---

Fenris had imagined he'd been pulled from camp for a conversation, so when he was tugged down and kissed, it took him by surprise. He lowered to one knee for the sake of comfort, then closed his eyes and returned the kiss. He'd never expected to share this with Varric again and he had no idea why it was happening now. But it was a nice change from trying to ignore the other pair making out by the fire.

\---

That aligned them a bit better and the dwarf was quick to deepen the kiss, still clutching at his breastplate to prevent him from moving away. Some part of him knew this was a bad idea, but more of him didn’t care.

\---

He'd meant to murmur his name against his lips when he found the kiss deepening. That was even more of a surprise. He let Varric into his mouth, his tongue greeting him eagerly. His arms wrapped around him, holding him close though he didn't grip him with the insistence of the hand on his breastplate.

\---

He slipped his hand around his waist and pulled him in, bringing them as flush as they could get like this. He began to lower himself, bringing the elf with him. It wasn’t the most graceful transition and he had to break the kiss to settle comfortably, but he eventually ended up sitting on the ground, encouraging the elf to straddle him.

\---

He followed his pull, settling into his lap and draping his arms around his shoulders. “Are you sure you want this?” He murmured into the darkness. As far as he knew, the dwarf really hadn't wanted this in the first place. He was curious if something had changed or if this was only for the night.

\---

He didn’t really know what he wanted. He was acting impulsively, which did not bode well for things between them, but the idea of still being by that fire, listening to the sounds of Anders and Hawke getting caught up in each other… He preferred this. Rather than answer, he turned it back on him.

“Do you not?”

\---

“You already know that I do.” That was what had started the trouble in the first place. The reason the dwarf only wanted to spend time with him on occasion now. He moved a hand up to Varric's hair, toying with it in its tie.

\---

That answered, he pulled him back into a kiss, his tongue finding refuge in his mouth. His fingers slid over the leather covering him, enjoying the heat he found underneath as he had that night in his bed - out here in the chill of the night, it was even better. His hips pressed up into him, making it clear what he desired.

\---

Fenris invited him back into his mouth, sucking on his tongue lightly when it slipped inside. He was surprised to find the hips pressing into him, all of this was rather surprising, and after a beat of hesitation, his own hips responded. He began to rock himself in his lap, finding the grinding very pleasant even fully dressed.

\---

He sighed in contentment, getting exactly what he wanted. He rocked his hips up to meet him, adding more pressure between their hips. The rhythm was nice and the feel of his body was even nicer. His cock began to stiffen and he was no longer worried about what was going on back at camp.

\---

His own arousal was building and he found himself breaking the kiss to start pulling off his armor. He wasn't in a rush, knowing the men at the camp wouldn't notice even if they were out until dawn. But the metal between them was uncomfortable and he wanted to press closer.

\---

He helped him where he could, tugging here and there to help get rid of the barrier between them. He groaned under his breath, his fingers going back to his hips to pull him down against him. His lips went to his neck and he began pressing kisses there, separating them with a nip here and there.

\---

He groaned softly under his breath, tipping his head back to give him more access to his neck. He began to grind on him more eagerly, hardening the rest of the way quickly. “Varric…”

\---

He liked the sound of his name on his lips and his fingers slowly slipped back, finding his ass and squeezing it firmly in his palms. He rubbed and massaged, finding it filled his hands nicely. His nails scratched into the leather and then he started to pull at it, wanting to remove it. Just enough to open him up to him.

\---

The roll of his hips made it clear that he liked his fingers all over him. He raised up on his knees to help accommodate tugging his pants down, but his own hands began to work on the dwarf’s clothes. He wanted him just as bare and while his hand was nearby, he paused to give him a squeeze before getting back to work.

\---

It didn’t take nearly as much work to remove his own clothing. His jacket and tunic fell, as did his sash. His gloves were pulled off and all that left were his pants. He was eager to have him and he only bothered freeing himself, before pulling the elf down onto him so they could grind bare skin together.

\---

He groaned softly at the friction of their bare cocks grinding, his arms wrapping around Varric’s bare shoulders. There would be no lubrication this time, but he would get through it. The important thing was that he trusted the man who wanted to take him. The pain of the entry would be nothing compared to getting over the mental hurdles of having sex again and he felt he could manage this time just as he had the last time. “Ohuhn et mighi…” He whispered in his ear, knowing he wouldn’t understand but also knowing that the complement would sound more sensual in his native tongue.

\---

Everything about the words made him shiver. The proximity with which they were said, the feel of his breath on his skin, the sound of his voice, the language he chose to speak in, so mysterious to him. He slid a hand down between them, using his arm around his waist to pull him up just enough that he could position himself. He wished he had oil on him, but he hadn’t planned on this.

He looked up at him, meeting his gaze and waiting for him. He wanted him to be the one to sink down onto him, rather than the other way around.

\---

There was a beat of hesitation when their eyes met. He thought it would be easier for him if Varric would just do it, like he had before. Just push in and then he could adjust to it. But perhaps it would be better if he had the control. With that in mind, he drew in a deep breath, then slowly sank down on him. He took him all the way in, wincing as he had to accommodate him without oil or having been stretched. He gave himself a moment once he was all the way inside to recover, his body shaking lightly as he took in a few more breaths to steady himself, then began to ride him slowly.

\---

His gazed heated as he took him, his hands beginning to stroke his hips and his sides, comforting and hungry all at once. “That’s it, Broody,” he encouraged him, his own voice a low rumble. He pressed up each time he sank down, helping him to take him, but leaving most of it up to him.

\---

His words and his touch were soothing, easing some of the tension in his muscles and helping ease the initial pain. He was still shaking, but he did seem to start enjoying it more. It took some riding until he was more comfortable and ready to put his training to use, gripping him with his muscles to massage him more thoroughly as he rose and fell on the length of him.

\---

He figured the shaking was from the discomfort more than anything. He had no experience with it himself, but he knew that this kind of sex could hurt and he especially knew that his cock could hurt. He remembered what he wanted from him the previous time and his fingers found his cock, wrapping around it and stroking him slowly. Like before, it was a little awkward for him, but it took only a few strokes for him to find a comfortable rhythm.

\---

The stroking helped significantly, earning a groan from him and easing his trembling. He murmured Tevene praises in his ear, nipping at the lobe between the breathy whispers. He angled his hips a little, finding that Varric hit the place inside him that felt just right and began to ride him more vigorously, his muscles squeezing him a little tighter whenever he hit the spot just right.

\---

“Shh.” He lifted his free hand to his mouth, covering it and silencing him. They were pretty far from camp, but he didn’t want them to draw attention even so. He was holding back himself, letting his heavy breaths take the place of his voice. He couldn’t quite get the leverage he needed to properly meet him like this, but the elf was doing enough for both of them and each shift sent rushes of pleasure through him.

\---

He could be quiet easily enough, but he didn’t mind the hand clamped over his mouth anyway. He let his pace build slowly, not worried about rushing any more than he was worried about being overheard. The others probably couldn’t hear them over their own groans. He was starting to give little shivers, not out of any discomfort this time, but because the pressure on his prostate and the stroking hand were making the pleasure mount in him steadily.

\---

When he was quiet for long enough, he let his hand slide down to his neck. He took hold of it and pulled him in, kissing him passionately. He was caught up in the way they fit together - far from a perfect fit, but they made it work and it worked well. His hand stroked faster, subconsciously giving him what his own cock needed.

\---

He melted into his kiss, ravenous and desperate. The quick strokes prompted his own hips faster, working hard to use his muscles to grip him at just the right times without slowing down the rhythm. By the time it was overwhelming him, it was a good thing that his lips were still locked with Varric’s because the kiss muffled his moan as his muscles began to spasm and his graceful hips became erratic, his cock throbbing as it pumped a thick load onto Varric’s stomach.

\---

He broke the kiss, his forehead dropping to his collar, taking hold of him so he could buck into him, the feel of the elf’s release drawing out his own. His started just as Fenris’ ended and he moved desperately against him, filling him with heat that he then kept inside him by way of pushing in as deep as he could and holding himself there.

\---

He groaned under his breath as he felt the seed pour into him, keeping the sound low enough that it couldn’t possibly travel back to the campire. When it all had come to a stop, he wasn’t in any particular hurry to get off of his lap, content to keep the release and the spent cock inside of him. He used his hands to urge Varric’s face up and gave him another kiss, softer this time both because his hunger had passed and because he was still a little breathless.

\---

He followed his urging and the unexpected kiss brought with it a smile. “Evening, Broody.” It was a random tease, as if they were just meeting and hadn’t lost themselves in each other. He slid a hand along his side slowly, this time just casually touching and feeling him.

\---

“Juli san.” He returned the greeting with a slight smirk. He’d expected to be pushed away now that they were finished, so the soft touch was even more pleasant. He ran his fingers through his hair, still careful to leave it in its tie since they would have to go back to camp eventually. He pressed another soft kiss to his lips, stealing them while he had the chance.

\---

Varric was enjoying the attention and so when he was kissed, he returned it. Kissing him was better than sitting back at camp, watching the others kiss. He pressed closer to him, though the shifting was felt in his cock and he inhaled sharply.

\---

He smiled into the kiss when he felt his inhale, knowing the sensitivity must have caused it. As such, he remained still, not wanting to stimulate him any further since he was pressed close now. He closed his eyes and let the kiss linger, finding it sweet and soothing after weeks of thinking that their friendship would only grow more distant.

\---

He really hadn’t planned for this, but in the moment and this time following it, he didn’t regret it. If anything, he felt bad. It seemed the elf was content, though, and as such, he was willing to let himself indulge in this. He wasn’t in any hurry to get back.

\---

He kissed him until his lips were beginning to ache, though that itself was a rather pleasant ache. He rested his head on Varric’s shoulder instead, quite comfortable and wanting to stay close to him. “I wish we could just spend the night out here. I doubt they’re done back at camp.” They’d killed quite a bit of time sneaking away like this, but sometimes it seemed to go on and on with those two.

\---

He gave a little hum. He was probably right - they were probably still going at it, but it wasn’t really something he wanted to think about. “We can give it some more time.” No reason they had to go back immediately. He didn’t try to disrupt their position, but he did push at the elf’s hips, trying to get him to lift so he could ease out of him.

\---

Fenris didn’t know if the push was meant to get him off of his lap entirely or not. He raised his hips so he could let Varric slide out of him, then hesitated as he was, up on his knees and hovering over his lap. He would let the dwarf direct him to sit down wherever he wanted him.

\---

Since he didn’t sit back down, Varric shifted back from him so he could start pulling on his clothing. It was too cold to stay exposed. He was not so fond of the cum on his stomach after the fact, but he pulled a cloth from his jacket pocket and wiped it away. The cloth itself was dropped to the ground as he finished pulling himself together.

\---

He took the cue to get dressed as well, finding that he was rather chilled once he’d separated from Varric. When he was composed, he sat back on the ground and looked to the dwarf curiously. He didn’t know what had gotten into him to start all of this, but he was glad it had happened. “That was a lot more fun than listening to the two of them.”

\---

“Could always just tell them to knock it off.” Even if Hawke didn’t listen, he knew Anders would. He could’ve done that instead of all this, but he knew he wouldn't have felt much better about all of it. “I agree, though, this was more fun.”

\---

“We could have, but then we would have just had to sit in awkward silence together because they’d have to stop making out and wouldn’t know what to do with themselves.” He gave him a smirk. “This solution benefited everyone.”

\---

He could see that he was far less bothered by what had gone on at the fire after this. “Seems like you’re not pining after our dear leader as much anymore.” He leaned back on a hand, meeting his gaze in the darkness. He was easier to see than someone else might be, not only by his hair, but his tattoos sometimes seemed to glitter when the moonlight hit them right. He was quite a sight like this, in truth. “Just needed to dump your load?”

\---

He snorted at the crude question and shook his head. “No. I still really like Hawke. I just know that he doesn’t really understand me. He doesn’t want the sort of connection I thought we could have. I’ve just had more time to accept that.” He still thought of their leader, he just didn’t make himself miserable over it anymore. Except, of course, when he was watching Hawke actively shove his tongue into Anders’ mouth.

\---

He found his wording curious. “He doesn’t understand you?” What did that mean? He thought it a simple matter of Hawke having feelings for Anders and not Fenris - where did understanding come into that?

\---

“He gets frustrated with my distrust of mages when we’re out on missions. He hears what I’ve had to say about why that is, about why even healing magic as I know it is used for torture. But he doesn’t listen. It has only created more distance between us.” He didn’t like it, but he understood perfectly why that was. He didn’t want to hear any negativity about mages, not while he was madly in love with a rebel mage himself.

\---

He realized what he was getting at and he nodded, understanding where he was coming from. He pretty much refused to choose sides when it came to the two of them, but he would be lying to say that he didn’t mind it when Anders was disparaged - he couldn’t really remember the last time that had happened, though.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - you and Blondie are a lot more alike than you think. I know neither of you want to accept it,” Fenris more than Anders, to be sure, “but it’s true. I know it’s difficult for you and hell, I can’t blame you for the way you feel, but maybe with some time… it won’t be so bad for you.” Maybe his distrust would fade and he’d even find friendship in a mage, even if it wasn’t the healer that had stolen just about everyone else’s heart it seemed.

\---

“I know you have said so. And you do listen and understand me. It is because you’re the only person who doesn’t blame me for the way I feel that I have been kinder and more patient with the mage.” He wasn’t exactly nice to the healer, but he had eased off his hostility. He only sniped at him when the other man started it, otherwise he kept quiet around him. He’d even accepted some minor healing with hesitance but without putting up a major fuss. It was for Varric’s sake, no one else’s.

\---

The confirmation made him smile. “I noticed.” Not that he spent a lot of time around the both of them, but the time they all had been together, he’d noticed the change. It was nice, if for no other reason than to not listen to constant bickering. “I don’t think it’ll take long for him to return the favor - he’s a kind man at heart.” He said this matter of factly, but there was some warmth in his voice.

\---

“Whether he does or does not, I don’t care. I did this for you, not him.” Though if things could be civil between them, it would probably make for better missions for everyone involved. So overall, it would be a good thing if Anders also eased off a little.

\---

For him. Not for the sake of everyone else and not for Hawke, but for him. “Why for me?” He’d figured when he’d spoken of his understanding, it was just him trying to be a better person, not that it was a favor specific to him. He already knew the answer to the question, though, he was just pretending that he didn’t. He had not confirmed or denied his feelings for the mage, always sidestepping questions and remarks on the matter.

\---

“You know why.” He always pointed out Varric playing coy on this matter, even though he always denied it. “He’s the man you want. After all that you’ve done for me, the least I can do is stop antagonizing your favorite person.”

\---

“Aw, Broody, how do you know that you’re not my favorite person?” As always, avoiding the topic at hand. If he had his crossbow at hand, he’d have patted it. “Ah, I think we both know better. Bianca’s my favorite person. As long as you treat her like the lady she deserves, we’re on solid ground.”

\---

“You don’t have to do this with me. I’ve been honest with you, you know.” He began to toy with his gauntlets, giving himself an excuse not to meet his eyes. “You don’t look at me the way you look at him when you think no one is watching.”

\---

The dwarf went quiet, having to look away himself. After a few beats, he pushed himself up. “They’re probably done by now.” He didn’t want to be gone so long that they came looking for them, so it was better to get back sooner than later.

\---

The elf said nothing, but climbed to his feet. It seemed Varric still wouldn't talk to him about it, but he supposed that was alright. He would continue to keep his mouth shut around the healer because he knew the truth the dwarf wouldn't admit.


	8. Chapter 8

After an enjoyable lunch, Varric decided to walk Anders out of his room when it was time for him to go. He expected him to be on his way, as they’d already said their goodbyes inside, so when the mage stopped in the hall and turned to him, Varric looked up at him expectantly. What he didn’t expect was the hug as he swooped down and pulled him in against him. It took him aback and he stilled, his heart quickening.

“Thank you for all your help, Varric.”

When Anders pulled back, he didn’t go far and the dwarf was closer to his face than he’d ever been before. He stared at him, fixed on those amber eyes, and when he leaned in, Varric held his breath.

The kiss was planted on his cheek and just as quickly as it occurred, it was over, the mage let go of him and straightened up.

“See you later.”

He turned to go and Varric left staring at the spot he’d been standing, frozen.

\---

Fenris had been unlocking his door when the two stepped out. He wanted to mind his own business, pushing the door open and preparing to carry in his own lunch when the sudden movement caught his eye. He saw the hug and the kiss, as well as the dazed look the dwarf was left with. “...Hey.” He said softly to break him from his trance after the mage was gone.

\---

He startled, launching into motion as he recovered. He looked over at the elf, heat creeping up his neck from sheepishness - of course he was standing there. “Hey Broody, got something from Lady Margo I see.” His voice didn’t sound quite as steady as he would’ve liked, the whole exchange having flustered him. Like Anders would actually kiss him - like he would throw away his relationship with someone they both cared about for no reason. That it even occurred to him in the moment was stupidity.

\---

“As usual.” He was clearly unconvinced by his attempt to recover and he gave him a rare, kind smile. “Why don't you come sit down with me? I'll share this if you're hungry.”

\---

The dwarf wasn’t really sure he wanted to, but he knew that avoiding it would only make the him all the more certain of whatever it was he was thinking. “I already had lunch, thanks, but I can come sit for a bit.” He shrugged and shut and locked his own door behind him, making his way over to the elf’s room.

\---

Fenris moved to his usual place starting to unpack his lunch. It seemed pork was on the menu that day and it smelled almost as good as the apple tart that would be the dessert. The elf poured a glass of wine for each of them, then took his seat. “Are you alright?”

\---

He sat down and took the wine from him, sipping it. He’d not had anything to drink with the mage, since he’d just be drinking alone, and he felt better putting a little alcohol into his system. “Never been better,” he responded, putting the concern aside. “What about you? You alright?”

\---

“This isn't about me.” He started into his meal, hoping keeping himself busy would take some pressure off of Varric. “I'm sure that hurt you. It's going to keep eating at you if you never talk about it. Isn't that what you've told me?”

\---

He sighed, taking a deeper drink of his wine. “There’s nothing to talk about.” This time, he wasn’t even denying it. He just thought it was true. There was no reason to talk about it. Talking about it wasn’t going to change anything and he was content with how things were knowing there was no alternative.

\---

“There is. You have feelings for him and he has no idea. He wouldn't have done something like that if he did.” He sipped at his own wine.

\---

He threw back the rest of his wine and set the goblet down a little harder than necessary. “Is there a point to this?” He couldn’t bring himself to look at him, his eyes fixed on the table in front of him, his mouth a line. “It doesn’t matter what I feel, so there’s nothing to talk about.”

\---

“It does matter. I want to know how you feel.” He didn't think he should push much harder. Not as miserable as he was right now. But this felt like the closest he'd come to getting him to open up.

\---

“It doesn’t matter,” he repeated, each word firm. “I’m not pining. I’m not you.” He didn’t mean it harshly, but he did see the way they handled their feelings as being different. “I’m happy for him - he should be with someone like Hawke. He deserves it.” He felt enough for him that he wanted what was best for him and there was no question that Hawke was what was best for him.

\---

He had flinched a little at that. He busied himself with stirring the vegetables on his plate, letting the silence linger for a long moment. “Don't you deserve to be happy too?”

\---

He let out a slow breath, reaching for the bottle of wine and taking his time in pouring himself another goblet. He took another sip of it, before settling back a little in his chair. Enough had come out that it made no difference if he continued. “I already told you, I’m not made for that kind of thing.” Relationships just… weren’t him. Though he might relate to Isabela in theory, he really didn’t since he didn’t abhor the idea of them, he just wasn’t any good at them.

\---

“I think you could be made for it. For the right person.” He continued to toy with his food, more than actually eat it. “Have you considered telling him how you feel? Even if you make it clear that you're supportive of him being with Hawke, it might help him understand that it's hard for you when he does things like he did in the hall. Not to mention all of the public affection with Hawke.”

\---

“Have you considered telling Hawke?” he turned back on him. He would not tell Anders - he would hate for everything to change between them. There was no chance of them happening and as such, he would keep his feelings to himself.

\---

“No. As we discussed at camp that night I'm no longer pining over him. The way he looks at me sometimes still hurts a little and I'm still not fond of watching the two of them together. But I'm not concerned about it. I'll be fine alone and I can talk to you when things really bother me. I'm trying to show you that you can do the same.” He wasn't wanted by Hawke or by Varric and it would have to be fine that way.

\---

“It doesn’t bother me and I don’t need to tell anyone anything.” He lifted his eyes to see him toying with his food. “Look, even if he wasn’t with Hawke, I wouldn’t say anything.” He wasn’t right for him and he knew that. “It’s better for us both that way.” Even if he had feelings for him, he would be better off with someone else.

\---

“You should really stop discounting yourself.” He was still fixated on his food, though now he seemed to be condensing what he had left to put away for later. It was very unlike him to not finish a meal, but his appetite was lacking. “He'd be very lucky to have you. Anyone would. You're probably the only person who doesn't think so.”

\---

He continued to watch him and when he set his wine down this time, he was a lot gentler about it. “It’s better for you too.” He really wasn’t sure how much the elf liked him or how much the elf wanted him, but he knew that he did to some degree. Enough that he knew his words were true.

\---

“We may never know. I've accepted that.” He drained the last of his wine, then stood to put the rest of his meal away. “I still think you're wrong, though. It doesn't have to be for me, but you'd be good for someone.”

\---

He was probably right, but he didn’t think he’d come across that someone in his lifetime. If he did, all the better. “I’ve been there Broody.” He wasn’t saying this out of nothing. He knew himself and he knew what he was talking about. “My someone got away.” He shrugged, not making a big deal of it. “Maybe there’s someone else, but I can tell you that it’s not going to be someone that’s going to go on to greater things.”

He got caught up in all kinds of adventures, but he was only ever dragged along. Hell, even in the things he wanted to do or start, he somehow always ended up following someone else’s lead. He was loyal and consistent, a good partner, but the kind of people he ran with? They would end up doing far more than he would - he was just there to document it all.

\---

“So Bianca got away and now you've chosen to close yourself off to the possibility of finding someone else because you think they may eventually move on?” He still hadn't met the dwarf’s eyes again, but he returned to the table to refill his own goblet. “Do I have that much correct?”

\---

He tensed at the mention of Bianca, though he knew that they were all aware that his crossbow was named after someone that meant something to him. That was as much as they knew, but it wasn’t a leap to assume it was a woman that he’d loved. “No.” Not quite, anyway. “People like that… should be with other people like that. I’m not like that.”

The only greatness he’d achieve was his influence… but beyond his books, that only went as far as Kirkwall.

\---

“I think you're forgetting that not many are destined for greatness. Hawke? Definitely. The mage? Maybe. Everyone else? We'll probably keep answering Hawke’s calls to arms and otherwise just sit around. Isabela will play cards. I'll go spend time at Margo’s. Aveline will work her scheduled shifts. The other mage will...do whatever it is she does.” He took a long drink. “You have your pick of most anyone in the world if you're looking for someone that won't be going on to grander things. So perhaps you should stop discounting yourself as if you'd hold anyone around you back.”

\---

He really didn’t need this pep talk. He didn’t feel sorry for himself and he didn’t regret the way things were - he was a happy bachelor living the life. The only hiccup he’d had was meeting ‘the mage’, but he didn’t regret that either. Not really. It warmed him to know that someone like him existed, someone unlike anyone he’d ever known.

Then again, everyone in their group was rather unlike anyone he’d ever known.

“The mage, definitely,” he argued, resting his cheek on his palm. “You, definitely.” He offered him a little smile. “You’re basically a walking Andrastian miracle - there’s no one that can do what you can do. It’s understandable that you need some time to get use to your freedom, but once you do, you’ll be out of here and doing as much as they do.” Maybe not in the same way, but Fenris had his own flair - he’d just slaughter whoever he needed to get what he wanted done.

\---

That was enough to make him look up at Varric and he couldn't help but smirk slightly. “Me? No. I'm no miracle. I'm a bitter man that people can occasionally tolerate. I'll be here until Danarius finally hunts me down. Then I'll die fighting to make sure he never takes me alive. If you call that greatness then sure.”

\---

He sighed. “I’ll save my ‘I told you so’ for when I dedicate the book I write about your adventures to you.” The response didn’t surprise him. The only thing that did was that somehow these three men had all ended up in the same city and he’d somehow ended up befriending all of them.

\---

“You'll be holding onto that a long time. Unless you want to write a book about how much wine I can drink in a night or how many times I can slap Isabela’s hands away once she's had a few. That's the extent of my excitement when Hawke isn't dragging me around. You could write about the final battle with Danarius when he does show up for me. You'll make my death a tear-jerker, won't you?” He rarely joked about such a topic, but he wanted help keep the mood at least a little lighter.

\---

He wasn’t fond of the topic, but since Fenris was talking about it in the light manner he was, he went along with it. “I’m thinking of it more as the turning point in the middle of the book. A sort of ‘clouds parting’ moment when you drop his heart from your fist to the ground.” He finished off the rest of his goblet and pushed it away from him, knowing that he didn’t need more this early in the day.

\---

“Now that's some nice imagery.” He chuckled at that, sipping his wine. “I hope the battle goes your way. If it does, I'll be staying right here.”

\---

“Unless Hawkes takes you out of this place.” He had spoken to Hawke before about if he planned on staying in Kirkwall permanently or if he would eventually move on. The rogue had been uncertain about what the future held and though Varric wanted him to stay, he imagined that eventually he would find somewhere else to go.

\---

“Hawke would never take me out of here. He'd find some more tolerant muscle to fit his needs.” Granted, it wasn't like Aveline would be going anywhere. He might actually be his best option. “I think I'd rather live in a bar with a couple of rogues. It suits me just fine.”

\---

“Whatever you say, Broody.” He was certainly living up to his name. “I suppose we’ll see.” He was glad to have gotten off of their original topic, though he knew they were still on the outskirts of it. “I should probably get back to my room - things to do, people to see and all.”

\---

“Of course.” He swirled his wine, then took a deep drink. “I'm glad you talked to me about how you feel. At least a little.” It was more than he'd ever opened up before.

\---

He offered him a smile that was just forced enough to say that he wasn’t sure how he felt about it himself. “We can get back to the usual stuff like reading tomorrow, if you want.” He slipped out of his chair and started for the door. “See you later.”

\---

“You can trust me.” He told him, seeing the uncertainty in his face. He sighed softly and watched him head for the door. “See you tomorrow.”


	9. Chapter 9

It was a few nights later that Fenris had decided to make proper use of his new furs and feather pillows and go to sleep. It had been a long time and he was very tired. Normally he drank quite a bit to help lull him to sleep, but he found that unnecessary now that he lived at the tavern. The hushed, constant sounds of conversations and footfalls below was a comfort, keeping him from listening to every creak and groan of his home expecting an intruder. He’d still had a bit of wine, but what he’d done before going to sleep was try to read over the last pages Varric had read to him of The Dragon’s Fortune two nights before. He remembered the words, for the most part, so he skimmed over them again now, trying to recognize more words and sound them out for himself. He’d fallen asleep with the book open beside him, his fingers curled loosely in the thick black fur that Varric had gotten for him as he drifted off.

In the small hours of the morning, well before the sun would rise, the elf broke the peace and quiet of the hallway with agonized screams. Isabela woke in a heartbeat, hopping out of her bed which thankfully was empty, and pulling on the long tunic she usually wore. There was no time for anything else, but that would cover the most important things, anyway. She grabbed her blades and was out the door, rushing for the elf’s room and expecting there to be slavers crowding his doorway. There was no one around, save for one of the other tenants who was looking out his door with groggy alarm. The pirate tried the handle and found it was locked. She was tempted to raise her bare foot and just kick the door in, but even with his shrieking, she didn’t want to piss off their landlord if she didn’t have to - she could handle the lock nearly as quickly as she could destroy the door. “Fenris?! Fenris, what’s going on in there?” She asked as she ran her fingers through her thick dark hair, needing a couple tries but eventually producing a hairpin. She made quick work of picking the lock, simple as it was, but her heart was pounding in her ears, not liking that he only answered her with more harsh cries and a bit of a language she didn’t understand.

\---

Varric woke with a start, registering the screams, though not who they were from. Living in a bar, there was bound to be screams from time to time, but these ones was distinguished from those by the terror in them. He jumped out of his bed and pulled on his pants, before running out of the door with Bianca in his arms, loaded and ready to shoot.

He saw Isabela standing outside Fenris’ door, struggling with the door, and he realized what it was he was hearing. “Broody?!” He ran to the door, already frustrated at her inability to get it open as soon as she stuck the pin in. “Come on, Rivani, get the door open,” he growled, tempted to bat her hands away and do it himself. He might’ve if he didn’t have Bianca ready to shoot whoever was unfortunate enough to be standing on the other side.

\---

“I got it, I got it.” She murmured as she tucked the pin back into her hair and shoved open the door. She darted in, blades poised and ready, and moved off to one side, having worked with Varric enough to know how to give him a clean shot. She looked around, entirely puzzled to find no one in the room. No one except for the elf on the bed. He’d gone to sleep in only a soft pair of trousers, having felt secure enough in a place this full of people to set his armor aside when he wanted to relax. His skin was glistening with a sheen of sweat and his hair was matted to his forehead with it. He was tugging at a blanket that had coiled around him in his thrashing, his eyes closed and his breaths coming in quick, panicky gasps. “...Fenris?” The pirate asked, unable to believe all of this fuss was really over a bad dream.

\---

His finger was poised on the trigger, but when he saw the no one that was there, he relaxed it and let the tip of his crossbow fall. He took a step closer to the bed, watching his fit with wide eyes. The scene rung a bell, something he’d said before, but he didn’t think on it beyond that. He set Bianca on the edge of the bed and reached for him, setting a hand on him and giving him a firm shake.

“Wake up, Broody.”

\---

He flinched at the touch, crying out sharply as if the hand had burned him. Isabela moved in to join them, her brows knitted with concern. “Hey…” She reached for one of his legs, giving it a gentle squeeze and a shake. Between the two of them, the elf jolted awake with a harsh gasp. Isabela flinched and pulled her hand back as brilliant blue light filled the room and Fenris phased away from their touches. He was disoriented and so he didn’t get far, solidifying again at the foot of his bed just before he fell off of it. His back was against the wall and he drew deep, shuddering breaths as he looked around the room, trying to pinpoint just where he was and who was with him.

\---

Like Isabela, he jerked his hand back at that reaction. He even took a few steps back, not knowing what to expect while he was like this, but when he seemed to calm down a little, enough to put out the deadly lights, anyway, he moved closer again. “Hey, Broody, it’s alright.” His voice was low and soothing, watching him carefully. “You were having a bad dream, kid, but you’re fine.”

\---

Fenris’ eyes fixed on Varric, though his vision was hazy as they began to fill with tears. “No, no. He was here. He was here and he…” He swallowed hard, his breathing and his speech almost too fast to be understood. “Are you sure? I was dreaming, I didn’t hurt anyone?” He sounded extremely doubtful himself and he was trembling like a leaf in the wind. Isabela slipped out of the room since it seemed that the elf was at least not hostile, returning a moment later with a glass of water and a damp rag. She had no idea how to deal with people when they were upset, but she knew this was what Anders would bring if one of his patients looked like the warrior did.

\---

“I’m sure - the only thing you hurt were the sheets.” He kept his distance from him, not knowing if it would be okay to touch him when he was like this. “You might’ve woken up the rest of the bar, but oh well, fuck ‘em.” He glanced up at the pirate when she returned with water and nodded, agreeing with her thought and telling her to give it to him.

\---

He began to look over his bare torso, seeming to check himself for wounds that weren’t there. “I didn’t…” He didn’t hurt anyone. He didn’t kill anyone. It had to have been a dream, but all of it still felt incredibly real to him. He was starting to hyperventilate and Isabela moved in to give him the glass of water, putting it to his lips. “Hey, hey. Easy now. Drink this.” She said softly and was relieved when he started to gulp down the water, which forced him to slow his breathing. She’d done something right at least.

\---

It occurred to him then, what he’d said about why he couldn’t sleep. The nightmares that he had about being back in Tevinter or about being captured, to be taken back. “Nope. You didn’t. You’re here with us.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, but gave both of them a lot of space. “Probably not the faces you want to see when you wake up, but beggars can’t be choosers, can they?”

\---

“I don’t know, we probably have the best faces to see in town.” Isabela was happy to banter while she used her grip on the glass to make the elf drink slowly and not choke himself. When he’d finished it and she took the glass away, she was hoping his slower breathing meant that he’d calmed down. But instead, once he’d finished with the water, he began to weep, the sound soft and miserable. The pirate looked to be at a total loss for what to do, so she just used the other thing she’d brought, gingerly using the rag to cool his bare skin and wipe away the sweat. She looked to Varric for help, continuing to mop at the elf’s flesh.

\---

“In the bar, perhaps.” He could see that their attempts to keep it light weren’t working and he could see that Isabela was at a loss, so he shifted closer, setting a hand on his arm, carefully, and trying to give him reassurance through that contact. “It’s alright, Fenris.” The name felt strange on his tongue, but he quickly moved past it. “You’re alright.”

\---

Isabela’s eyes widened, surprised to hear his actual name coming from the dwarf. It seemed to catch Fenris’ attention as well because he looked up at him with his tearful gaze. He moved away from the pirate, crawling up onto the bed and pressed himself to Varric’s side, wrapping his arms around him and sobbing into his shoulder. Isabela looked a bit relieved, glad that he was clinging to the dwarf and not to her. She stood, keeping the empty glass and rag with her. “I’ll go let everyone know things are okay. Just call for me if he needs anything.”

\---

He straightened when the elf rose up and joined him. He wasn’t much better off than Isabela was, bring confronted with these kind of emotions, but he knew him well and he slid his arms around him in turn. His eyes fixed on Isabela and he watched her, unable to believe that she was actually abandoning him, but maybe it would be better if they were alone for a while.

“Come on, none of it was real.” He wished it were that simple, but he wanted him to calm down and feel that he was safe. More importantly, he wanted him to recognize that he’d been safe all along.

\---

She quickly made her exit, closing the door behind her. Fenris didn’t notice, too busy trying to ground himself in reality by focusing his senses on the dwarf. It took some time for his sobs to slow enough that he could respond. “It felt so real. He was here. He came here to take me home and Hawke said none of you would let him take me.” He drew a slow, shuddering breath. “He ordered me to kill you all, just like I killed the Fog Warriors who wouldn’t give me up. I wouldn’t do it, but he was using his magic to make me. I couldn’t stop it. I tried, I was trying to wound myself to make myself stop, but I couldn’t do it. He was using me to kill you all.” He broke into fresh sobs, clutching him tighter and pressing so close he was almost angling to climb into his lap.

\---

He stroked his hand between his shoulders, trying to do what he could. He wasn’t good at this, but he was trying. “Oh, Broody…” He knew he probably ought to try and take this seriously, but he dealt better when he stopped things from getting too serious. “You think awfully highly of yourself if you think you could take all of us down. I know I called you a walking miracle, but let’s not get too carried away.”

\---

There was a snort that could have been laughter among his tears. It took him a little longer to calm down enough to speak again. “I wish I hadn’t been doing such a good job of it in that dream.” He closed his eyes, trying to slow his breathing and relax a little further.

\---

“Well, of course you were. We’re all the heroes of our dreams. You could take down all of Tevinter if you wanted to. All you’d have to do is lay your head down on your pillow.” He continued to stroke his back slowly. “You’d have an advantage over Hawke, for sure, but I think Blondie would get you - that spirit and all. Glowy’s scary, but maybe if you and I were teaming up, we could take him down. Evens it out a bit, you know? The real question is who would win between Rivani and Hawke, both of them throwing those daggers around. Hawke’s better with them - don’t tell her I said that - but the whore is fast.” He found himself babbling, just trying to distract him with this ridiculous scenario.

\---

“I think if you teamed up with me, we could take the rest. And Danarius would be so confused if you just jumped in to help me.” His breath was still hitching between the words, but he was continuing to calm down. The familiar hand on the bare skin of his back did wonders to ease his trembling.

\---

He could see that he wasn’t taking his bait of slowly steering this way from Danarius, so he went with his direction. “Baffled, but I bet if we teamed up, we could take him down too. Easy peasy.” He was sure the magister was a dangerous man, but against all of them? He didn’t stand a chance.

\---

“And then you can write that part of your book where I tear his heart, still beating, from his chest and let it hit the ground.” He finished climbing into his lap, straddling him but this time not for the purpose of grinding on him. Instead, he could better embrace him and he did so tightly. “Thank you. You're a good friend, Varric. I'm sorry I woke you.” He was clearly still far from alright, but he was in a much better state than the one he'd found him in.

\---

He straightened as he moved into his lap, not quite sure what to make of it, but when it was clear that he was just trying to pull more comfort from him, he secured his hold on him. “You know me, I like to keep things eventful.” He didn’t mind being woken, especially not after seeing the state of him. “I should be the one thanking you.”

\---

“Thanking me? Why?” He didn't feel he'd ever really done anything for the dwarf. He tried to show he was open to listening to him and he gave him gifts now and then, but it really wasn't anything compared to the good Varric had done for him.

\---

“For providing the excitement, silly.” He sat back a little to try and look at him. “You look tired, why don’t you lay back down? I’ll hang around for a bit.” He knew that he’d probably refuse, but it was shot.

\---

“Probably not the late night excitement you had in mind.” He pulled back to meet his eyes, slow tears still rolling down his cheeks but the terror from before had faded from his features. “I can't go back to sleep. But I think I could lay down if you'll lay with me for a little while.”

\---

He absently tried to reach into his jacket pocket for a handkerchief, before realizing he wasn’t wearing his jacket. “Come on then, let’s get comfortable.” He tried to ease back from him, encouraging him to slip off of him. When he did, the dwarf rose to his feet and went to grab a rag for him, knowing where he kept his stuff for the most part, and he offered it to him as he laid down.

\---

Fenris finished Isabela’s job of cleaning off his face after his newest bout of tears, then settled down on the furs beside the dwarf. He needed contact with him so he pressed himself close, draping an arm around him. “This is why I don't think the mage can help. I don't want something like this to happen and not be able to wake up. I was lucky you and the pirate woke me tonight, otherwise that could have gone on a lot longer if I was still alone.”

\---

He frowned, wondering how he knew how long it had gone on at all. Long enough to wake them and for them to barge in, he supposed. “It could help prevent you from dreaming.” He didn’t know if that was true or not, but then he’d never asked him. He decided to make a point of doing that.

“I get that you don’t want to sleep, but Broody, you’re never going to get use to it and stop having those dreams if you don’t try.” He was concerned about him, more than ever, seeing him like this. He slid his arm around him in turn, resuming stroking his back slowly.

\---

“...I’ll go talk to him sometime this week.” He'd never have imagined he'd involuntarily visit the mage. But he'd have to if he didn't want to keep waking the rogues like this. Besides, he'd been civil with the healer long enough now that the other probably wouldn't assume he was there to start a fight. “If nothing works, I can go back to the mansion. I don't want to wake you up every time I fall asleep.” He appreciated the soothing touch and he pressed a kiss to his cheek, then nestled against him more comfortably.

\---

“Hush, you’re not going back to that place.” He could tell that he was doing better being here and he didn’t want shutting himself up like he had before. “Who else will I walk ten feet out of my room to play cards with?” There were plenty of people downstairs that would keep him so entertained and he did prefer a bigger group to show off his skill, but he’d come to like the time they spent together.

He felt close to him in a way that he didn’t most people.

\---

“That's true. It's been a lot more convenient to lose my coin to you when I only have to walk down the hall to play.” It didn't really matter who won since the money usually ended up supplying more booze for them anyway. He closed his eyes, finding himself very comfortable lying in his arms this way.

\---

“Exactly.” He could see that he was calming down and was encouraged. “It won’t be long until your dreams are as raunchy as the rest of ours.” He patted his back and then stilled the hand, simply holding him.

\---

“Is that what you dream of?” He smirked slightly and it came through in his tone. “If I keep sleeping here it wouldn't be impossible to start dreaming that way.” He nuzzled his cheek lightly against Varric’s neck. Between his rare trysts with the dwarf and Isabela’s incessant moaning, he should have good enough dream inspiration.

\---

He knew flirting when he saw it and he had to admit, it was an improvement. “Surely you’ve dreamt of that - perhaps regarding a certain rogue.” He wasn’t talking about himself in that, but it was certainly up to the elf to decide that.

\---

“No. I haven't dreamt of anything pleasant in a very long time. But it would be a change I would welcome.” He might actually look forward to going to sleep if that was the case.

\---

“We’ll have to get you sleeping more for that. If you barely go to sleep and always dread it, it’s no wonder you’re having nightmares. You’re setting yourself up for them.” He knew that it wasn’t that simple, but hopefully the encouragement would go some way for him.

\---

“I didn’t dream when I spent that night with you. Maybe if I pretend you’re here I can sleep a little more often.” He pressed a soft kiss to his neck since his face was already tucked against it. “Then maybe I could have a good, raunchy dream about rogues.”

\---

He took in a slow breath and when he let it out, he murmured his name. His nickname, anyway. The hair on the back of his neck seemed to be standing and he was ever aware of the smooth skin pressing into his own. He found that he was distracted and he couldn’t really come up with a clever response to what he had to say about dreams and rogues.

\---

He really did think he could sleep more often if he felt like Varric was beside him. He stroked his fingers absently over his back, enjoying the familiarity of his bare skin. “I just have to memorize how this feels. So I can think of this next time I try to sleep.” He murmured, his lips still close enough to brush lightly against his skin.

\---

He tipped his head back a little, shutting his eyes. This was becoming a lot more intimate than he was comfortable with, but in the moment, he didn’t care. He was finding that happened a lot with the elf. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, but he was feeling a lot of anticipation.

\---

He began to press more soft, slow kisses to the skin of his neck. They were so gentle and relaxed, it almost seemed like he was falling asleep again. The dwarf had managed to calm him completely and he was no longer thinking of the horrific slaughter of his dream. Right now there was only Varric, the smell and taste of him soothing him further.

\---

He let him, still at a loss for how to respond. It just felt good. He soaked them in for a time and then he tipped his head back the other way, seeking his lips, but finding his cheek. He pressed a kiss there and then continued his search, going in for a kiss.

\---

He felt his lips turn up at the kiss to his cheek, but when he found his lips instead, he made a soft, pleased sound. He kissed him in the slow, tender way he’d been kissing his neck. He loved the rough, hungry kisses they shared from time to time, but in this moment, this was what he needed. It was so good and it sated a different kind of hunger.

\---

He didn’t try to push for more, maintaining the soft feel of the kiss, though his hand did pick up in its stroking. The tips of his fingers dragged over skin, passing the lines in it in broad sweeps. He was content to keep this up for as long as the elf wanted, so he left it up to him and focused on the feel of their meeting lips.

\---

With time, Fenris began to deepen the kiss. Even in that, he was so gentle. There was something very passionate in the way his tongue ventured for Varric’s, but it was a quiet passion that was more intimate and less hungry than his kisses usually were. His fingers ran slowly along his spine, tracing it as their lips met.

\---

It’d been a long time since he’d been kissed like this. In some way, he’d forgotten that it was possible to kiss like this and he gave himself to it completely. It was nice. He wasn’t overthinking this or shying away. If it came to that, it would be later.

\---

His breathing had slowed enough as the kiss went on that he could almost be sleeping. It was soothing enough that he felt he would be more rested from this than he had been from his troubled night of sleep. His hand slipped up into his hair, stroking it slowly as he explored this new sort of kiss.

\---

He was growing tired himself. As such, his own participation began to wane when he began to fall asleep, soothed into drifting off. Eventually he went completely still and he was sleeping peacefully with his lips still pressed to the elf’s.

\---

His lips turned up into a slight smile as he felt the other falling asleep. It was such a peaceful way to fall under and he found that it wouldn’t be all that hard to let himself go back to sleep as well. He would never have normally slept again after a nightmare like the one he’d had, but this was different. Right now, he was in the arms of someone who cared about him. He pressed one more kiss to the sleeping dwarf’s lips, then let himself begin to drift away as well, his lips still lightly touching Varric’s as he eased into sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The following week went by quickly, pleasant as it was. Fenris spent more time with Varric, much of it focused on reading. While pressed so close together while they looked over the pages, their lips had a way of seeking out kisses from each other. They were soft and sweet, rarely lasting more than a beat. But they had become part of their reading sessions and Fenris looked forward to reading with him more than ever.

He wanted to make good on his promise to go speak to the healer about his trouble sleeping. Especially because he’d gone to sleep a few nights after the bad night he’d had and he’d had another night terror. Fortunately this time he’d woken himself up before he could start screaming so he managed not to wake the entire bar that night. He found himself lingering outside the clinic for a long moment, a little at a loss for what to do. He’d been here before. Usually dragged by Hawke, especially after some huge battle. Once or twice he’d come on his own, but only when he had a broken limb or some major problem that couldn’t go without treatment. But he’d never been here for a real medical visit and he’d never been here since he’d started to be civil with the healer.

Finally he pushed open the door, not surprised to find that the mage was occupied. But it looked as if his patient, an older woman, appeared to have no more than a swollen ankle. The elf moved quietly off to one side, busying himself with toying with his gauntlets while he waited his turn.

\---

As always, Anders eyes flicked toward the door when someone stepped in, always making sure that both he and his patients were safe and always making sure that whoever it was didn’t need immediate attention. He straightened a little when he saw who it was, a frown pulling at his lips, but he had said nothing and returned to his patient. From the back of the room, a strange sound filled the air - tiny mewls that seemed to be coming from a wicker basket.

“I’ll be there soon, little ones,” he assured the kittens, his eyes fixed on the ankle. “A tiny fracture, but nothing serious.” He set his hand over it and with a focused heal, mended the bone that had caused her pain and swelling. He stepped back from her, offering him her hand to ease her down off the table. “Careful, just a little weight to see how it feels.” It would still be sore from the swelling, but as he expected, she was able to walk on it with minimal issue.

“All better!” He smiled at her and walked her to the door of the clinic, seeing her off. When she was gone, he moved back in, going straight to the basket and picking it up to carry over to his desk. “What do you want?” His friendly demeanor was gone, but he wasn’t trying to be rude. He just didn’t know why he was here and he wanted him gone, so he was getting to the point.

He fetched a bottle of milk and a rag and returned to his desk, plucking up a kitten that fit into his palm with room to spare - clearly too young to be without its mother.

\---

Fenris remained in the corner of the room he’d chosen, deciding that distance between them was probably best. “...I’ve been having this problem for a long time. Varric has been wanting me to talk to you about it, he things you can help me. Not that you have any reason to help me, but I told him I would ask you anyway.” Helping him with anything that wouldn’t make him useful to Hawke was probably the last thing Anders wanted to do.

\---

While he spoke, Anders busied himself with dipping the corner of the rag into the milk and bringing it to the kitten’s mouth so it could suckle. That seemed to at least bring him some joy and he smiled down at it, his thumb absently stroking over its back as it took what it could get.

The smile faded as soon as he processed what the elf had said. “Okay. Ask.”

\---

“...Can you help someone who can’t sleep? Who doesn’t want to?” It was so strange to talk about this to the mage. To speak of any vulnerability to him. “It’s gotten better since I moved to the tavern. But I still only sleep maybe twice a week.”

\---

“You know, if that’s true, you really shouldn’t be fighting with us.” Rather than answer the question, he addressed the insanity of his sleeping schedule. “Your inability to sleep affects everyone when we’re fighting for our lives and you’re one mistake from getting yourself or someone else killed.”

\---

“It has always been this way, from before I began fighting with you. You’ve seen how fast I am, it does not affect me or anyone else.” He frowned deeply down to his gauntlets, not liking the direction he’d taken this. “I was conditioned to fight this way. My master did not let me sleep often. It was a privilege I had to earn. I was trained to hone my reflexes even after several nights without rest.”

\---

He dipped the cloth back into the milk and resumed what he was doing, most of his attention focused on the creature in his hand. “Well, imagine how much better you would be, then, if you weren’t endangering everyone else.” He sighed and sat back in his chair. “So what you’re saying is you’re so use to not sleeping… that you don’t want to sleep… and you want help… wanting sleep? Do I have that right?”

\---

“No.” He had been about to leave but hesitated when Anders went on. “It’s not just that. I don’t want to sleep because when I do, I dream of Tevinter. Or of Danarius and the things he can make me do.” Like the one he’d had that brought Varric and Isabela running. “I’m afraid that if I take something to make me sleep, I could find myself unable to wake up from one of them. I…” He really didn’t want to tell him this, but he knew he wouldn’t help if he didn’t explain the severity of it. “I dreamt that Danarius made me do something awful last week. That night I was screaming in my sleep so horribly, Isabela and Varric came rushing into my room thinking there was an attack. These are not simple nightmares.”

\---

He was incredibly uncomfortable with how much he was telling him. From anyone else, he wouldn’t mind, but from him, someone who avoided speaking to him if unless it was to berate him - though he’d noticed that hadn’t happened in some time - it felt wrong. He snorted softly to himself by the time he was done, shaking his head, “If I had something that helped with that, I’d be taking it myself.” Not that the elf cared or thought that anything he’d gone through mattered. It was just another reminder that they did have some things in common and as their relationship had grown increasingly unfriendly, the more he resented those things.

“I do have stuff that’ll help you sleep, but I can’t do anything about dreams. Sorry.” He was being blunt, but he wasn’t trying to be cruel. Like it or not, he did understand. “I don’t know if taking it would make it any harder to wake - but I’ve never had any complaints about that. I’ve never heard about that happening, but I doubt any of them are having nightmares constantly.”

\---

As he imagined, there was no real help for it. “I’m not surprised. Varric is always telling me we have more in common than we think.” He sighed. “...Thank you for telling me the truth of it. I’ll go.” He could now at least tell the dwarf that he’d talked to him about it. But nothing would help his sleep quite like resting in Varric’s arms.

\---

He had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He’d said that himself, but of course it had been dismissed. When the kitten in his hand finished, he set it back in the basket and pulled out another, beginning to feed it as well. The thanks surprised him and he looked back up at him. “Hang on,” he grumbled, rising to his feet and carrying the kitten over to a shelf of potions.

He drew a vial off one of them and brought it over to him, kitten and all. “Might as well try it.”

\---

Fenris was surprised that the mage had stopped him and he looked at the vial he offered him. “Drink all of it at once?” He asked as he took it, seeming as if he would take a medicine the mage gave him without questioning what it was for once.

\---

“No, a sip will be fine. This should last you a week.” He looked down at the kitten in his palm. “Shouldn’t it, little boy?” He grinned at the kitten and made his way back to his desk, cooing at it, before sitting down and resuming feeding it.

\---

“...Thanks. I’ll give it a try tonight.” Certainly not every night this week, he didn’t want to push his luck. But if it all went alright, he’d try it again in a couple nights. He watched him with the kitten and added as an afterthought. “Let me know if you need a home for any of them when they’re old enough. I know someone who needs a couple more.”

\---

He glanced up at him, finding the offer odd, but he nodded. “I’ll let you know.“ Figuring that was it, he turned his attention back to feeding the kittens, knowing that someone else might walk in in any moment.

——

It was late when Anders returned home - it was strange to think of the mansion as home, but he was getting use to living with the rogue. Things had moved so quickly between them and he was happier than he’d ever been in his life.

His arms were unusually full as he carried in the basket full of kittens and when Hawke’s mabari bounded over, sniffing at it excitedly, he quickly lifted it up and turned the other way.

“Oh no you don’t,” he stepped away from him, moving toward the stairs. “This is not for you.”

—

Hawke always waited up for his lover and tonight he was propped against the headboard of their bed, one ankle crossed over the other, and reading. He smiled when he heard Anders talking to his mabari, knowing that the mage would likely never be fond of the animal, but was getting used to living with him. “Leave him alone, Pickles.” He called, not doubting that the dutiful hound would do as he was told. He did, though he gave a whimper at having to give up his inspection of the basket.

\---

The sound of Hawke’s voice made him smile and he made his way up the stairs, stepping into the bedroom and kicking the door shut behind him.

“Evening, love.”

He carried the basket over to the bed and dropped down on it beside him, revealing the litter of kittens that were all laying together, the bottle of milk he’d been feeding them leaning against the side of the basket among them.

—

“...Evening.” He said as he set his book down and looked at the basket, his surprise making it sound more like a question than a greeting. He couldn't resist reaching into the basket, plucking up one of the kittens to see just how tiny they were. He cupped the little creature in his palm, watching it squirm and give a squeak of complaint after being woken. “I'm honestly shocked this is only the first time you came home with kittens.”

\---

He chuckled, heart melting to see him holding the kitten. “I try to leave them alone if they’re taking care of themselves, but these little guys didn’t have a mama.” He reached to give the kitten he was holding a stroke down it’s back with the tip of his finger.

“They ate her and left them for dead, so I just had to take them with me.”

He pulled out a kitten if his own, holding it close to his chest. “Aren’t they just the sweetest things you’ve ever seen in your life?”

—

He wasn't so sure about that. He was a dog person and would have been more thrilled with a basket of puppies he could have played with. But when he stroked the kitten in his hand and felt the tiny vibration of its purring, he couldn't help but smile. “They're not puppies, but they're pretty cute.”

\---

He made a scandalized sound and scooped the kitten out of his hand. “You don’t get to hold them until you think about what you just said.” He proceeded to scoop all of them up and bundle them in his arms, beaming down at them.

—

He chuckled and settled to lean into Anders. “I'm guessing you want to keep them all?” The joy on his face at having an armful of kittens made that seem clear enough. “We'll need a lot of milk.”

\---

“Maybe.” He knew it would be better for them to spread out to different homes, but it was tempting to just keep them all. “I’ll keep them until they’re old enough to survive without milk… then we’ll see.”

Speaking of rehousing them. “You’ll never guess who stopped by the clinic today.”

—

“Who? Bernard?” He asked with a sarcastic smirk. He knew of the old man who dropped by the clinic for every little ache or upset stomach. He liked to tease the mage and say that the man visited the clinic more often than the healer himself.

\---

“Good guess, but no.” He pressed his weight into him, his eyes still fixed in the kittens wiggling around in his arms. “Fenris. He stopped by to ask for help with getting to sleep and preventing nightmares.” He shook his head to himself, still unable to believe that he actually came to him.

—

“Fenris?” He looked to him with mild alarm. “Did he really want your help or did he cause trouble?” The elf had been strangely well behaved lately, but Hawke would have a word with him right this moment if he had gone to the clinic to harass Anders.

\---

“No, he really wanted my help. He’s been odd lately, hasn’t he? Maybe he’s gotten over his jealousy.” If he didn’t feel secure in their relationship, he would not have felt comfortable bringing up the elf’s obvious feelings for his lover.

“He even offered to take a couple of the kittens to a new home when they’re big enough.”

—

“He has been. Some of it might be getting past his jealousy, but I think it's been good for him to get out of that dark, scary dungeon he was living with and spend more time with Varric instead. I think he's been happier.” The elf was still quiet and he still rarely saw him smile. But Varric had a way of getting him to brighten up even when everyone was together. “I bet I know where he'll take them. Assuming you can stand to part with a single one of them, of course.”

\---

He shrugged, obviously not that invested beyond the gossip value. He’d heard about them hanging out and felt rather indifferent to it all. “If being there pulls the stick out of his ass, good.” He leaned into him playfully. “If you’re not careful, he’s going to steal your best friend.”

Varric and Hawke seemed to really like each other and if figured if his lover had a ‘best friend’, it was him.

He began setting the kittens down into the basket, pulling a clean cloth out of his pocket so he could feed them before he laid down for the night.

—

“Please, Varric will always like me best.” He was glad they seemed to enjoy spending time together, though. If anyone could get the elf out of his shell, it was Varric. He saw what he was doing and rolled out of bed, going to the bathroom to get another cloth. He dunked a corner into the milk and plucked up his own kitten to feed.

\---

Anders watched what he was doing and quirked a brow at him. “What did I say? Have you thought about what you said?” He held the cloth for the kitten to suckle, stroking his fingers absently over its back.

—

“I've thought about it a lot, actually. They really are almost as cute as puppies.” He smiled when the kitten he held latched into the cloth he offered. “Okay, okay, they might be equal.”

\---

He huffed softly. “I guess that’ll have to do.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, content to cuddle with him and with the kittens until it was time to go to bed.


	11. Chapter 11

It was another night for cards with the group and Fenris had started as he usually did - participating in the games, but quiet and stoic. But as rounds of cards and drinks went on, he found himself having a much better time. He’d had enough ale that he was slumped in his seat, a seat that had moved closer to Varric’s as the night went on. He’d folded on his current hand early on and now he leaning into the dwarf’s side lightly to watch him play.

Hawke, who was also drunk and swaying slightly in his chair, upped his bet. He was sure he had a winning hand. Isabela, who had also folded early due to an unlucky hand, smirked to Anders. “I hope you didn’t need that coin for anything, Handsome. It looks like your man is trying to throw away all his savings tonight.”

\---

Though he didn’t mind the elf sitting close to him, Varric kept his cards from his eyes. Even if he wasn’t playing the current round, there was no need for Fenris to observe his strategy. The less he saw, the better. “She’s right, Blondie, before long, I’ll be owning that mansion you live in.” He tossed in his own coin to meet his bet, just as confident about his own hand.

“You wish - my man is going to take home a lot more than he came here with.” He grinned, sliding his arms around him and peeking over his shoulder at his cards. He kissed said shoulder and then laid his head on it, waiting to see what the results would be as it came time to lay down their cards.

\---

When it was time to lay down the cards, Hawke’s hand was good, but not good enough. He swore under his breath and pushed his coin to Varric. “Alright, alright. But next time I’m going to win.” He said with deep confidence and turned his face to kiss the crown of Anders’ head.

Fenris smiled at the dwarf when he won, not at all surprised. Hawke was good, but he could rarely beat Varric or Isabela. “I’ll sit this one out.” He murmured as he pushed his own hand back into the pile. He was comfortable leaning into him and he didn’t particularly want to stop.

\---

Varric raked in his winnings, a smirk on his lips. He drew the cards in as they were tossed to him and began shuffling them, fingers manipulating the cards smoothly without a thought. “You can’t back out now, Broody. You still have some coin in front if you - it’s improper to stop before you’ve given them all up.” Not really and none of them cared, but he was giving him a hard time.

Anders watched the dwarf as he shuffled and though he’d noticed how closely they were sitting together before, he really noticed it now. He lifted his head from Hawke’s shoulder to murmur in his ear, “Is it just me or is he all over Varric?” It was a bit of an exaggeration, but it certainly seemed like he was all over him, considering the way he normally avoided contact with anyone.

\---

“I’ll just add it to our drinking fund. We’ve blown through plenty of it tonight anyway.” He hadn’t had quite this many drinks in awhile. He hadn’t wanted to drink himself into oblivion in awhile. He leaned in a little more to whisper in his ear. “Besides, I’m hoping people are ready to go before long. We were at a good part in our book.”

Hawke hadn’t been paying much attention and he looked up in time to see the elf whispering to the dwarf. He smirked a little. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him want to be that close to anyone.” He knew they were friends, but it was still odd to see them that close. He looked to Isabela, expecting her to be honed in on the potential scandal, but he was even more surprised to see that she wasn’t paying them any mind, instead plucking a small knife from the top of her boot and using the blade to clean her nails.

\---

He chuckled under his breath, looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “You’d rather read than play cards with everyone?” He sounded as if he could not fathom the preference. He ended up giving him a nudge with his shoulder, pressing enough weight into him to make him shift a little. “Here I thought you liked watching me beat everyone.”

“...Gross.” The mage straightened, his expression distasteful as he watched them. What was going on between them?

\---

Fenris chuckled in return, giving him a little space when he was nudged. “I do. I’ll enjoy watching you do it again this round.”

Isabela caught the change in Anders’ position and she glanced up to him, then followed his displeased gaze to the odd pair of the friendly dwarf and the antisocial elf across the table. She leaned into the mage a little to speak under her breath. “I think they’re kind of cute, don’t you?” She asked with a smirk.

\---

He was surprised when he actually moved back - he’d gotten use to the feel of him pressing in against him. “Come on, you should live a little. Join the round. You win and I’ll give you…” He considered it briefly, wondering what he had that might entice him. Not much really, since most of what he had was gold. Still, he ended up pulling his necklace off and tossing it onto the table in front of him. “Solid gold, that.” It was worth a lot of money and he never took it off.

Anders’ expression strengthened. “Please. Varric has better taste than an asshole bigot.” This, of course, was muttered under his breath, not wanting the words to drift over to the pair in question.

\---

“Stop, you know I never wear jewelry anyway.” He smirked to him, having hardly glanced at anyone else at the table for quite awhile. “But it shows me how much you want me to play. Put that back on and deal me in.”

“He does have better taste. They’re not official, I’ve kept a close watch on it. But they have their fun together and I think they’re kind of sweet together.” She’d like them to be a couple, for her entertainment more than their benefit. But she could still enjoy listening in on the rare occasions that they did have their fun, when she wasn’t too busy having her own fun to appreciate it.

\---

Rather than listen, he left his necklace on the table in front of him, finishing up with the cards and dealing them out to everyone at the table, Fenris included. He wasn’t expecting to actually lose it, but it was fun to put it up and create a side pot all their own. He pulled his own cards in and even though they weren’t great, he’d won enough hands that he thought he could bluff his way to the end if no cards came up in his favor.

“You’re full of shit.” The mage didn’t believe there was anything between them for a moment, no matter how they were acting. The idea of it bothered him. Varric knew what he was like so the idea that he’d entertain a relationship with someone like him felt strangely upsetting and personal. He considered them good friends, so if he would get involved with someone who treated him like shit - well, then the feeling probably wasn’t returned.

It was ridiculous.

\---

Fenris found that his cards were actually really good, his first good hand of the night. But he knew how to play it off and so he kept his expression guarded, managing it despite all the alcohol, as he made his early bet.

“I usually am. But you’ve seen some of the results for yourself. Varric has made him a lot more tolerant just by listening to him and being a good friend.” Isabela murmured as she looked over her knew hand. “Maybe if they actually got together he’d be the nicest elf in town.”

Hawke didn’t have a great hand, so he made a modest bet before he turned to Anders. He was too drunk to really register his lover’s expression and instead leaned in to nip at his jaw. “You’ll still like me if I lose the mansion tonight, won’t you?” At this point he thought Varric really might take it all, not that it would stop him from playing.

\---

“I’d really rather not listen to this.” He thought her fantasies were always a bit ridiculous, but this was a stretch, even for her. He let his rogue distract him, sming and looping his arms around his, barely paying attention to his own hand. “Course I will, love. We can hole up in the clinic together - share a cot.” He knew they were just playing, but he really wouldn’t care if he lost all of his money. It was the farthest reason as to why he was with him.

\---

“Mmhm.” Hawke leaned to kiss his forehead. It didn't matter if the mage could see his cards when he did it. They were on the same team as far as he was concerned, even if it wasn't a team game. “The kittens and Pickles can share another cot.”

\---

“It’s been a while since we fucked there,” the mage murmured to him, since he’d stopped coming to visit him at the clinic as much when he moved in with him. “I wouldn’t mind getting pounded into a cot. Pickles and the kittens can watch.” He leaned in to give his ear and nip and then folded his hand as the betting went around for everyone that wanted to put in their coin.

\---

Hawke put in a little more coin, but his focus was diverted by his lover. “They're used to having to watch anyway. It'll just be a new location for them.” He murmured with a smirk in his tone. He raised a brow when the elf pushed considerably more coin forward, seeming to feel really good about his hand.

\---

Varric was aware of the rogue and the mage, but he was mostly ignoring them. He was use to their close proximity and their whispers and he couldn’t deny that it helped that he had a warrior of his own to distract him. An elf that was betting a lot of his coin. “That confident, Broody?” He matched his bet, pushing his own coin forward and then looking around the table to see who else would stay in.

\---

“Maybe I just really want that necklace of yours.” Fenris smirked to him, for once oblivious to the couple across the table. Isabela matched their bets, feeling pretty good about her hand as well. “If you're not careful, I'll take it instead.” She knew it was a private bet between them and she didn't have any more room for jewelry herself, but she couldn't resist.

\---

His eyes went to Isabela and he studied her. If she had a good enough hand, it was unlikely he’d be able to bluff his way through - it didn’t really matter if she won this round, however. All he needed to do was outlast the elf beside him. He put down the last card and though it did help his hand, it still wasn’t that great of a hand. All the same, he pushed out more coins. Enough that the elf would have to put the rest of what he had in if he was going to stay in.

\---

Hawke folded on that round. There was a lot of coin going in and though he was usually over-confident in his hand, often to his benefit, he knew he didn't have anything to justify a bet like that. Isabela could never resist such high stakes unless her cards were truly awful, so she matched the bet again. Fenris didn't hesitate, shoving the rest of his coin forward. He wasn't going to back out now, not after the dwarf had convinced him to play.

\---

The dwarf’s brows lifted, but it was time to lay down his cards and he did so. He figured Isabela had him beat, but he wasn’t sure about the elf. It was possible he was playing along to simply play along. To go out so he could sit back and relax, so he waited for him to turn up his cards.

\---

Isabela’s hand did beat Varric’s and she looked quite pleased about it. But when Fenris laid down his cards, she sighed. “Damn, that was a good pot too. Oh well, now we can see how pretty gold is against your skin when you're glowing.”

\---

His eyes went down to the necklace and he felt a little pang of regret. He actually liked that necklace a lot. It’d been a gift. He’d known there was a possibility to lose it when he put it up as a bet, however, slim as it had been, and he pushed it closer to him. “You can always hock it if you don’t like it.” He’d rather he didn’t, but it wasn’t his to worry about anymore. “Be worth a lot more than all the coin in front of you.” Which certainly had been a good pot.

\---

“I wouldn't sell it.” He took the necklace, finding it was still warm from being worn. He looked it over, toying with it with his fingers but being careful as if it was fragile.

“We should probably be going.” Hawke said with a yawn. It was late and he'd lost enough coin for one night. “We need to stop at the clinic on the way home anyway.” The slightest note of mischief was in his tone.

\---

Varric started to gather up the cards. “Gonna tuck tail and run?” His own pile had taken a hit, but he still had more than he’d started with. The night wasn’t a complete loss. When he had all of the cards, he slipped them away into his pocket and finished off his ale. “Try to keep him from falling on his face, will you Blondie?” He offered the mage a smile and then sat back in his chair, knowing that with them leaving, the night was coming to an end.

\---

“You heard him. At least get me to the clinic before I fall over.” Hawke laughed as he stood, using the chair for balance until he could get an arm around Anders to steady himself for the walk out of the bar.

Isabela tucked away the gold she had left, but her eyes were fixed on the necklace. “Go on, I need to see how that looks on that pretty elf neck of yours.”

Fenris didn't think he could wear it, not really. It belonged to Varric, game or not. But just for fun, he did put it on, clasping it and finding the unfamiliar weight of it kind of nice. “What do you think?” He asked, his eyes on the dwarf.

\---

He watched as the necklace settled on him and while the chunkiness of the design was better for someone of his own stature, it actually looked rather nice. The regret he felt eased and he admired it on him. “I think you need more jewelry.” He’d look good with some more gold adorning him.

\---

“You think so?” He gave a little smile at that. He'd never even considered it.

“Glow.” Isabela insisted, leaning across the table toward him. “Do the glow thing so we can see it.” She was thrilled when the elf obliged her and her heart fluttered when the blue light reflected and glittered on the gold. “Okay, we have to find him more jewelry.”

\---

“Knock yourself out.” She could give him whatever she wanted. He thought some earrings would look nice on him himself - he couldn’t recall ever seeing an elf with earrings and he didn’t stop to consider why that was. He reached for the necklace and tugged on the ring to adjust it a little. It really did look good on him. Better than it had on himself, dare he say.

\---

“I just might.” She rose from the table then and stretched. “I'll leave you boys alone for a little while. Goodnight, lovebirds.” With that, she left them and pushed the door shut behind her.

When she was gone, Fenris leaned in to steal a peck of a kiss from him. He'd been waiting a long time to do so. The lyrium flickered out of his skin and he stood, almost fell back into his chair as the ale rushed to his head, then balanced himself and moved to stand by the dwarf’s chair. He unclasped the necklace and bent to fasten it around Varric's neck instead.

\---

He threw her a look, but left it at that. Whatever they were, they weren’t what she thought they were. He was quickly distracted by the elf and he looked up at him as the necklace was fixed back around him. “What are you doing? You won it fair and square.” He looked down at the necklace then back up to him. “Don’t like it?”

\---

“I do like it, better than I thought I would like jewelry. But it's yours and I know how much you like it. You never take it off. It's just a game, I don't want you to go without it just because I had a lucky hand.” He let his fingertips graze over the necklace and the skin of his neck, used to feeling it right there where it belonged.

\---

“That’s how gambling works.” He continued to watch him. “A lucky hand can win almost anything.” He rather liked the feel of his fingers and he considered him, taking the attention and enjoying it. “I do, but what if I like it on you better?”

\---

At that, he slipped his fingers beneath the gold, caressing the bare skin beneath it. “If you like it on me better, then I'll be happy to wear it.”

\---

A thought occurred to him then and he slowly smirked. “Take off of your armor.” He waited for him to obey, sitting back his in seat and fingering the necklace himself.

\---

His eyes widened, not having expected such a request, but he didn't hesitate, stepping back so he could strip off his armor. He took his time with it, tempted to give him a little show while the alcohol was there to give him a little boost of confidence. When he was bare, he looked to the dwarf with a smirk.

\---

He gestured him closer and sitting as he was, he found himself rather level with his cock. He remained as he was a little longer, thinking, before pulling the necklace off of himself. He slipped his cock through the golden loop and then tried to bring the chains on either side around to loop around his hips. Thin as he was, there was not quite enough chain for the ends to reach and he made a disappointed sound.

“Guess I’ll have to get it adjusted.”

\---

He began to perk just from being toyed with when he was slipped into the loop. He chuckled and shook his head when he ran out of chain. “I'm lean, but my hips aren't that narrow, joual.” It wasn't unlike him to mix his languages when he was drunk or aroused and it seemed that both were beginning to do the trick.

\---

“Damn shame, but it’ll fit by tomorrow.” It would be expensive to have adjusted, especially since it would take a lot of solid gold to get the length he wanted, but he rather liked the way it looked when he was wearing it there. He kept his hands in place, holding it up for him and admiring the sight of his bare skin wrapped in gold.

\---

“By tomorrow? You must be eager for me to wear it for you like this.” He pulled the tie loose from Varric's hair, assuming he wouldn't mind since the others had gone for the night, and ran his fingers through his hair.

\---

“It looks good, don’t you think?” He drew a hand back, causing the necklace to fall and slip off of him, but he made up for it by wrapping his fingers around him and squeezing him. “If I do adjust it for you, you have to keep it on.” He didn't want him taking it off.

\---

He breathed a soft, pleased sound when the hand squeezed him, making him thicken further. “When we have our fun like this? Or all the time?” He supposed it might be too long to really wear as a necklace if they extended it by too much.

\---

It was odd to think that they’d somehow ended up casually hooking up, but it had happened. By doing this, it was going to happen again. “All the time. The ring’s not tight - it shouldn’t be uncomfortable.” He figured it would be no different than from it hanging from his neck, though he did suppose his armor was rather tight. If it wouldn’t fit beneath it, that would be disappointing.

\---

“I'm sure it won't be. Don't you think you might get a little distracted during our missions? Seeing the slight outline of the chain under my armor and knowing the ring of your necklace is rubbing my cock?” He asked with a smirk, running his fingers slowly over his scalp to massage it.

\---

He lifted a brow. They really hadn’t gotten this sexual, even when they had hooked up, but he supposed that he’d started it by sliding his cock through his necklace. “Dirty elf,” he whispered, encouraging him to continue with both his fingers and his tongue. “Maybe one of the adjustments I’ll have them make is tightening the ring.” Not really, but the thought of him being just uncomfortable enough that he was also aware of it all the time was arousing.

He tightened his hand around him, to accent the suggestion, his thumb rubbing at the head of him slowly.

\---

“Only if you'd promise to make it feel better after fighting all day with it squeezing my cock.” He murmured, his tone almost a low moan as his thumb teased him. His fingers tightened a little in his hair and he wet his lips with a swipe of his tongue as he watched him.

\---

Though he was still level with his head, he had no interest in leaning any closer with his mouth. Rather, he continued to work him with his hand, starting to stroke him slowly, but thoroughly. “Maybe if you deserve it.” In his pants, he was growing hard, thoroughly enjoying everything about this.

\---

“Hmmm, I don’t know if I can handle all that torment if there’s only a chance you’ll relieve me afterwards…” He would have liked to feel his mouth, but he was perfectly content with the hand working him. He moaned softly and he rocked slightly into his touch.

\---

“You’ll have to earn it so you deserve it then, won’t you?” He met his gaze as he worked him, his eyes filled with mischief. He slid his free arm around him, pulling him in even more, wanting him to climb onto his lap and straddle him.

\---

“You said ‘maybe’ if I deserve it. What if I work hard and my cock is aching and you still won’t take care of me?” He followed his pull, settling into his lap. His cock was beginning to leak and he moaned again, pressing himself harder into his grasp.

\---

“Then you’ll try harder next time.” He leaned in and kissed him, pressing himself up into him. He realized as soon as he did that he should have had him fetch the oil before climbing on top of him. “...Get the oil,” he told him, speaking against his lips. In the meantime, he could take care of his own clothing.

\---

He got up, hating to leave the hold on him but also eager to get the oil. He climbed out of his lap and got the oil, moving back to him and waiting for the dwarf to get out of his clothes. He grabbed the necklace in the meantime, fastening it around his own neck again since it would be the last day it could really be worn as a necklace.

\---

He pushed it all off of him and let it fall to the floor beside him, left sitting with nothing but his hard cock. He gestured him back in, wanting him to slide right back into place, except this time he could put his cock where it belonged.

\---

He opened the bottle of oil, pouring some into his palm. He reached forward to coat Varric’s cock with a few slow strokes, then used what was leftover to slicken himself. He straddled his lap once more, reaching down to position the cock beneath him. He didn’t sink down on it quite yet though, looking down at Varric with lust in his eyes. “I doubt you woke up this morning thinking you might fuck me while I wear your necklace…”

\---

“You’re not wrong,” he agreed, setting his hands on his hips and stroking them encouragingly. “I didn’t plan any of this, but here we are.” He was sure the elf hadn’t pictured any of this either… or perhaps he had. “What about you? Any of those raunchy dreams yet?”

\---

“No. But maybe I’ll have one tonight…” He sank down on him then with a groan, taking a moment to just sit on his lap and enjoy the feeling of being filled by him. He leaned in to kiss his lips and stroked his fingers through the hair on his chest. “Do you ever dream of me like this?”

\---

He took in a deep breath, his hips pressing up as he breached him. He returned the kiss and nipped his lip at the question. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He encouraged him to start moving with his hands, wanting to feel his body working to pleasure them both.

\---

“I would. I like to think you’ve had them and you woke up so hard you could hardly stand it and had to stroke yourself to finish before the dream faded.” He wasn’t normally so dirty even when they fucked, but the alcohol had his blood running hotter than usual. He began to ride him slowly, groaning when he sank down again and felt the pressure against the sensitive place inside of him.

\---

He groaned, one of his hands reaching back to give his ass a hard smack. “Touch yourself,” he demanded, wanting to watch him earn the cock he was riding. He’d taken care of that particular need for him with each of their couplings, but this time he wanted him to do it himself. “Show me what you imagine me doing.”

\---

He liked the dwarf stroking him, but he didn't mind giving him a demonstration of what he imagined. He took himself in hand, stroking himself in time with the slow roll of his hips. “Kind of like this. But I imagine it a little more desperate since you'd wake up throbbing.” He began pumping himself wildly to show him, sensitive from Varric working him and the easy gliding of his hand from the oil making his hips tremor and a low, needy moan escape him.

\---

“Looks like that feels good,” he purred, keeping his grip on his hips as he thrusted to meet him. He was rather enjoying the show, seeing his entire body work as it was. The nice thing about this position was it kept their faces a little closer and the elf could easily bend to meet him. “No raunchy dreams then, what about raunchy thoughts?”

\---

He eased off in the pace in his hand, not wanting to spoil the fun by cumming too soon. He slowed it to match the rise and fall of his hips. “Plenty of raunchy thoughts. I wanted to stroke you under the table while we were playing tonight. It was hard to keep my hands to myself.”

-—

He met his gaze, trying to read if he was being honest or if he was just speaking in the spirit of what they were doing. “Yeah? Maybe you should’ve.” He’d have gotten a thrill out of it, certainly. He groaned under his breath, tugging his hips down and holding him there so he could savor the depth.

—

He laughed, but the sound melted into a moan. He did as he was urged, keeping his hips down on him and using his hand to squeeze his own cock and his muscles to squeeze Varric. “Should I have? I never know with you. Maybe next time I will…”

\---

He supposed that was fair. Rather than answer, he leaned in and connected their lips, rocking up to resume their motions. His slid his arms around him and stroked his back, alternating between his palms and the tips of his fingers.

—

He began to ride him again when he was prompted, the touches over the grooves in his back making him give a shiver of pleasure. He moaned against his lips, stroking himself once more and squeezing Varric each time he was at the height of his motions. It was a little odd to feel the necklace he always felt between their chests resting on his own neck, but it was rather nice.

\---

He groaned, his rocking turning needy the longer it went on. His lips as well. He couldn’t get enough of him and it showed in everything from his touch to his sounds.

—

He closed his eyes, completely caught up in their kiss despite the way riding him was starting to make him breathless. The pace picked up to something desperate - he didn’t want it to end, he never did, but it was so good and he needed more. His groans were growing louder and though he wasn’t concerned about Isabela overhearing, it was fortunate that the kiss was muffling just how rich with pleasure they really were.

\---

He had to grip his hips again, bucking up into him with increasing feverishness. He began to pant against his lips, having to break the kiss just to breathe. He eyes shut and his own sounds gained more substance as he grew close and then eventually fell over the edge, spilling into the elf.

—

He gripped Varric’s shoulders to brace himself, riding him wildly when the heat filled him. It didn't take much more for him and he threw his head back as it hit him. He cried out in delight as he bucked his hips through his release, spilling heavily over his hand and the dwarf’s stomach.

\---

Varric sat back in his seat, slouching, panting to catch his breath. “Dirty elf.” There was a smile on his lips and he looked satisfied. His hands had fallen to dangle on either side of him and his head tipped back, a smirk on his lips. He liked that the elf was able to get off to him cumming.

\---

He wasn’t in a big hurry to get off of him and he smiled as he panted softly, wrapping his arms around his shoulders for balance while he recovered. “Only for you.” He couldn’t imagine being so sexual with anyone else. He imagined Varric would want him to go back to his room so they could go to bed, so he wanted to sit with him like this at least for a little bit longer.

\---

That made his smile turn into a smirk and he tipped his head down to look at him, looking tired and relaxed. A hand lifted and he traced his fingers along his side. “Good.” He really wouldn’t have cared if the elf had sex with anyone else, but he liked the idea that he didn’t and that he was only like this for him.

\---

He smirked in return and leaned down to press his lips to his briefly. “Your dirty elf.” He didn’t really mind if he was only ‘his’ when the mood took Varric. He liked their time together, whether or not it was one of the times they stole kisses or lost themselves in each other. It just wasn’t something he really wanted to share with anyone else.

\---

He considered that and after a while, he leaned in to give him a kiss of his own, just as brief. “Up you go, Broody.” He urged him to slip off of him, wanting his cock back to himself.

\---

He wondered if perhaps saying that had made his welcome wear out a little sooner than it normally did. He stood when he was told, going to where he knew he could find a clean cloth in his room and moving back to clean the mess he’d made on the dwarf. He began to dress himself, doing so quickly and quietly.

\---

He remained as he was while Fenris cleaned him up and after he finished, he watched him begin to dress. “...You can stay if you want.” He said this with a shrug, not making a big deal of it, though he’d never offered to let him stay since their first time together.

\---

He paused at that, having not expected an offer like that. He hesitated, then began to smile. “Sure. I’ll get us breakfast in the morning.” It was their original deal, after all. He began to strip back down, deciding that if he’d share a bed with him again, he may as well make it more comfortable for them both and not wear metal.

\---

“Sounds good.” He hopped off is chair and since the elf was bare again, he gave his ass a hard smack, not holding back at all. He grinned and made his way to the bed, dropping down on it and pulling off his blanket from the frame like he had before. He got comfortable and shut his eyes, knowing the elf would make himself as comfortable as he wanted and then they could both get to sleep.

\---

He chuckled at the hard smack, rather liking the sting of it despite the brief flare of real pain in his markings. He settled onto the bed beside him, stretching out on his furs. He was near Varric, almost close enough to touch him, but giving them both a little bit of space. He felt as if he might be able to sleep even without his potion from the mage. The heat of the body beside just might be enough to lull him.


	12. Chapter 12

It was during a dice game with Isabela on a day that Varric was out that the price of rent came up over a bet Fenris had made. They’d been equally surprised by the difference and Isabela was rather insulted, considering that she’d given the proprietor an excellent blowjob and she’d only gotten a discount of one gold per month. She had no idea what he could have possibly done to get a discount of three gold per month.

Fenris wasn’t sure what he’d done either, considering he’d never personally spoken to the man. He knew Varric had a silver tongue, but he had no idea what he could have said to land such a deal. When he talked to the proprietor himself, the man had completely clammed up. He knew nothing of such a discount, not for him and not for the pirate. He didn’t push further, realizing that he must be sworn to secrecy about such deals, but he supposed that made sense. A man with different prices for different tenants had best be discrete about it.

He went back upstairs and asked Isabela to leave a note on the dwarf’s door, asking that he come to his room and talk to him. In the meantime, he returned to his room, sitting at his table to study the book they were reading. He had two goblets and a bottle of wine out, making sure his own never emptied as he sipped on it while he waited.

\---

It was a while later that Varric returned to the bar, making his way up to is room. He saw the note, which made his brows lift as he tore it down and carried it over to the elf’s room. He knocked on the door and waited, wondering how he’d managed to do it. He must’ve had someone write it for him, but why?

\---

He rose to his feet and pulled open the door, not doubting who it would be. He smiled slightly to see the dwarf and gestured inside. “Come, have a seat and a drink. I want to talk to you about something.” He didn’t usually bother the rogue if he’d been out for the day unless the other initiated, but he didn’t intend to take up much of his time.

\---

He didn’t like the sound of that, but he kept the apprehension off his face as he moved further into the room and sat down. It was still fairly obvious that he wasn’t sure about this, if only because he didn’t seem as happy to see him as he normally would. “Alright, what’s up?” He figured he’d need the alcohol, so he pulled the goblet closer to him in to see if it was already filled with wine.

\---

It wasn’t but Fenris took care of that quickly, filling it with a generous pour. He took his own seat, taking a sip from his goblet before he closed the book. He met his eyes, studying him. “I won’t ask you because I know you’ll deny it. You’re paying more than half of my rent here.” It wasn’t accusatory, but expressed how bewildered he was by all of it. “I just want to know why.”

\---

At first he didn’t react. He did want to deny it, but since it seemed that he knew, there would be no point. “And who told you that?” No one should have told him that, so he wanted to know where he’d heard it from - if it was who he thought it was, he was buying out this bar and kicking the man out himself.

\---

“No one did. It came out in a game of dice that I’m not paying the same amount of rent as everyone else. Neither is Isabela, but I didn’t blow our landlord.” He ran a finger over the rim of his goblet. “I doubt you blew him either, so I want to know why you’ve been paying so much for me. You know I have the coin, don’t you?”

\---

“How do you know he doesn’t owe me a favor?” He could have just as easily talked his way into a deal. Of course, if that was the case, he wouldn’t be posing it as a question. He sighed and sat back in his seat, taking a deep drink of the wine. “I figured you wouldn’t make the move for asking price.” He shrugged. “I can afford it.”

\---

He smiled a little at that, starting to make sense of the matter. “Is that what this is all about? You did this because you didn’t want me to stay in that hellhole and you didn’t want to risk me balking at the asking price?”

\---

He shrugged again, not wanting to make a big deal of it. “Seems like it’s been better for you here.” As if that was proof that he’d been right to convince him to stay here, even at a cost to himself.

\---

“It has been. I’ve been a lot better off here.” It hadn’t been necessary, but it had been sweet. “And I’m very glad you convinced me. You’re a good friend, Varric.” He leaned in his seat to press a kiss to the dwarf’s cheek.

\---

“Don’t mention it.” He really saw it as nothing. He made plenty of money and three gold a month was barely a dent into it. He took another sip of the wine. “If you’d rather pay it yourself, you can, but I’d rather you save your money for our games.”

\---

“I guess we can split our game winnings between the booze fund and the rent fund.” He would be fine with taking over and paying it himself. But Varric did make a lot more money than him and if he didn’t mind continuing to do so, he could make up for it in more fun ways.

\---

“Sounds good to me.” He sat back a little in his chair. “Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?” He figured, but maybe there was something else.

\---

“That was all.” He hadn't known how to feel about the newfound knowledge and now he wore a faint smile. Varric was sly, but he was glad he'd done it and convinced him to leave the ruins of the mansion. “You just got back, I'm sure you're tired. Why don't we meet up tomorrow and work on our book?”

\---

“Sounds good, Broody,” he repeated, slipping out of his seat. He finished off the wine while standing and then set the goblet down. “See you tomorrow.” He made his way to the door and with a final look and wave, he made his way out and to his own room.


	13. Chapter 13

The following week, the group got together for cards as they often did. Merrill was there to join them and Isabela sat close to her, trying to be subtle about helping the elf so she wouldn’t lose all of her coin in the first three rounds. Hawke had Anders on his lap, not seeming at all concerned about keeping his hand from his mage. Fenris was sitting close to Varric, which was the norm lately, the distribution of players at the table making it look as if they were playing in teams.

The warrior was making modest bets and folding early, seeming distracted from the game. He was, in fact, distracted. But only the dwarf might have an idea of why. He’d been wearing the necklace and bracelet, made into a matching set after they had adjusted the necklace for their fun, constantly. But this evening, they appeared to be missing. It was worn on his hips and each little shift and movement was making the ring rub the base of his cock. He’d been biding his time until Varric let one hand fall beneath the table and when it did, he snatched it in his own. He didn’t want him to have any doubt that he was still wearing the gold and he moved the rogue’s hand to his groin, guiding one of his fingers to trace part of the ring around his cock before he released his hand again. He smirked coyly, but quickly took up his ale and took a long drink so as not to attract attention from the others.

\---

He startled a little when is hand was snatched and before he realized what was happening, he felt the ring beneath the elf’s armor. When his hand was released, he didn’t pull it back, still processing what had happened and when he did, he cupped him and squeezed. He glanced at him, but his eyes didn’t linger, returning to the game, despite the hand groping him.

\---

He hadn’t expected the squeeze and he drew in a sharp breath, relieved that his mug of ale was there to disguise it. He was already a bit perked from the constant touch of the ring and the warm touch of his hand was a nice contrast to the metal. The elf still had a hand under the table and he let it wander over to Varric’s groin, using a fingertip to trace the outline of him through his pants. Fortunately he was out of this round already so when he set his drink down, he could simply pretend that he was preoccupied with watching the bets being cast to see who was still in.

\---

Varric, of course, was still in, and when it came back to him, he had to withdraw his hand. He threw in his bet and was able to keep most of his focus on what was happening on the table, though he was rather aware of the finger teasing him.

\---

He traced him a couple times before he settled his hand over him, giving him a firm squeeze. His tracing had given him a good idea of how he was laying in his trousers and his thumb sought a sensitive place he knew he liked. He gave him another squeeze, his thumb rubbing just beneath the head of him where he knew it would feel potent even through his pants.

\---

He held his breath, good enough at bluffing that his expression showed nothing, even as he touched places that would have normally gotten a reaction from him. He was quickly thickening as he remembered what they’d said about this before - no doubt the reason why Fenris was doing this at all. There was certainly a thrill to being touched with others around and he continued on in the game, though he was becoming a little distracted from it.

\---

He knew he was affecting him, evening if he wasn’t showing it. He knew what he liked and he smirked when the thickening in his hand confirmed that he was getting to him. He began to rub the length of him slowly, encouraging him to harden the rest of the way. The fingers of his other hand were busy toying with his pile of coin left in front of him, though the others seemed preoccupied so he doubted they were paying him any mind.

\---

His hand wasn’t bad, but when the next card that came up wasn’t in his favor, rather than keep going, he folded. He left it up to the others, sitting back in his seat, his eyes going back to the elf that was touching him. He let his hand slip beneath the table and he touched the back of his, encouraging.

\---

When he felt Varric was looking at him, he met his gaze and gave him a little smile. He continued to rub him, especially when the hand encouraged him along, but before long it wasn’t enough. His fingers began to tug at the lacing of his pants, loosening them enough to pull him free and properly take him in hand.

\---

His breath caught when he actually released him, not expecting that, and he looked at him warily. Not that he didn’t want what he was doing, but the possibility of getting caught increased dramatically with his cock out. In some way, it was even more thrilling that way. He grabbed his drink and swallowed it down in a few gulps, letting that relax him a little more so he could enjoy the feel of the fingers wrapped around him.

\---

He met his eyes again and his smile spread to a wicked smirk. One that dared him to just deal with it. He quickly hid his smirk by taking a drink of his own, his hand squeezing the head of him, then beginning to stroke him slowly.

\---

The round ended with Merrill winning, thanks to Isabela’s help, and Varric had to gather the cards and shuffle them. No one was particularly paying him mind, but he kept his expression carefully trained all the same. It wasn’t long until he was completely stiff in his hand, cock responding eagerly to every touch. He dealt the cards smoothly enough, despite the fact that his attention was definitely split.

\---

Fenris used only one hand to gather up his cards and take a look at them. He had a rather good hand, but he pulled a subtle face as if he was displeased with it. He sighed and set them facedown on the table, waving away the first round of bets to signal he was already out. Meanwhile, he focused on rubbing the spot with this thumb that he’d been working on beneath Varric’s pants earlier, knowing it would be hard for him to keep his attention on the game so he was merciful enough to return to regular strokes after a minute or so.

\---

Though it wasn’t all that obvious, while he was rubbing that spot, Varric’s bets were a bit more rash. At one point, he even threw out an extra coin, simply because he wasn’t paying attention to what he’d grabbed. After, however, when the attention became less intense, he was able to recover and win the round with a smirk that went beyond just winning.

\---

The next round began much the same way. Fenris didn’t want to be too suspicious though, so he removed his hand from under the table briefly to make a couple bets before folding that round. Hawke made a comment to him about his hands being unlucky that night and Fenris had simply shrugged, saying that he’d at least won big the last night they played. All of this while stroking Varric and occasionally focusing attention on the places he liked best. When the round was nearing its end, he leaned in to whisper into the dwarf’s ear, his words breathy and very quiet. “When they go, I want you to bend me over and fuck me until I can’t walk anymore.”

\---

He wanted to fuck him right here. He was picturing the elf sitting in his lap, much like Anders was sitting in Hawke’s, his cock deep inside him as they played. The elf bouncing on him whenever it wasn’t their turn, then squeezing him tight whenever it was. He groaned under his breath unintentionally, but he covered it with a cough.

\---

Fenris laughed quietly at his cover up, as if a private joke had been exchanged between them. He leaned in for another whisper, angling his head so no one else at the table would see that he nipped at his earlobe instead. He gave him a hard squeeze beneath the table, then went right back to stroking him.

\---

He really wanted to pull the elf onto his lap. He had to remind himself why that would be a bad idea in so many ways, but he wanted it badly. He ended up losing the round on a bad bet, only half-paying attention to what he was doing. It was time to shuffle the cards again and he did so without actually paying attention to what he was doing, his cock aching in his hand.

\---

“It’s an unlucky night for me. I’ll sit this own out.” He said when it was time to deal again, his voice only betraying the slightest hint of a husky note that only Varric would recognize. He began to stroke him faster, acting as if he meant to push him over the edge before he’d ease off again and treat his favorite places to slow, firm rubs of his thumb.

\---

He shuffled for far longer than he meant to and only when one of the others spoke up did he recognize himself, the somewhat glazed look in his eyes disappearing. He quickly dealt out the cards, his toes curling in his boots as he tried to keep himself still. His body wanted to move, needing the quick strokes he’d teased him with, and his breathing was starting to move outside his control.

\---

He could see the effect he was having and he was loving every moment of it. So much so that his own cock was beginning to ache. He leaned into him slightly where they sat, but waited for a few rounds of betting before he decided to tell him just how he was feeling. He moved his lips to his ear again, breathing the words so softly they could barely be heard. “The ring is so tight on me right now, it’s really starting to ache. You’ll make me feel better, won’t you, joual?”

\---

His head turned towards him and he met his gaze, his own lusted. It was about his turn to throw in his bet, but he didn’t notice and rather, when it came to him and all eyes were on him, waiting, Varric couldn’t resist closing the distance between them and kissing him. Doing so drew a horrified look from the mage, but Varric was blissfully ignorant of the rest them.

\---

Fenris was equally careless of the eyes on them and he kissed him back, deep and hungry. There was a little squeal of delight from Isabela across the table but Merrill had gone a deep shade of red and quickly diverted her eyes. Hawke could see the displeasure in Anders and he wasn’t terribly surprised by it. He knew he hated Fenris and the idea of any of his friends wanting him was probably disturbing to him. He turned the mage’s face toward him to redirect his attention. “This gives me a good excuse, I’ve been waiting all night to kiss you.” He kept their public displays of affection to stolen pecks of kisses, most of the time anyway, but kissed Anders hard now.

\---

Anders stared at Hawke, his expression not fading. He didn’t respond to the kiss and rather he broke it, sitting back. “What the hell, Varric?” The sound of his name woke him to the reality of the situation and Varric pulled back from the elf, looking over at the mage. His heart gave a twinge to see the way he was gawking at him, but he felt defensiveness starting to build up around him. “...What?” He felt suddenly exposed, unable to believe he’d done that in front of everyone and with his cock out.

\---

The sound made Fenris startle as well. He tensed sharply and used his hand beneath the table to deftly tuck Varric back into his pants. He looked to the mage, the horror on his expression making him start to scowl. What the hell business of it was his?

\---

“I thought you were my friend.” He moved off of Hawke, standing and shaking his head. Obviously he was taking this personally. Varric was at a loss for words, the man he had feelings for acting like he’d done something to him all for kissing someone else. “I am your friend, Blondie.”

“Then why are you kissing him?! He treats me like shit!”

\---

Fenris stood at that, not worried about any evidence of what they’d been doing as the mage’s interjection had wilted him quickly. “I used to. I haven’t in a long time, I’ve tried to make everything better between all of us. Can you even remember the last time I said anything nasty to you?”

\---

“Oh, you ‘use to’, like that makes this okay.” He could see the troubled look on Varric’s face and he was glad to see it, as upset as he was by this sudden change of events. For his part, Varric looked away from all of them for a long moment, then up at the elf standing beside him. He was indecisive, but he eventually reached for him and pulled him in against him. “I’m sorry, but our relationship doesn’t really have anything to do with you, Blondie.”

\---

He’d tensed initially at the touch, almost as if he’d expected Varric to hurt him on Anders’ behalf. But he settled against him and stared sharply at the mage. It registered with him that he’d said that they had a relationship, but right now he was too defensive to really process it. “I’m not some monster. If you’re his friend, you should be happy for him. He’s happy for you.”

Hawke stood as well and put a hand on Anders’ shoulder. “Can you really blame him for taking it personally, though?” He asked Varric, tugging Anders a little closer. “I’m all for Fenris making an effort and all of us getting along better. But clearly this has hurt Anders.” He looked to Isabela for support but the pirate as just watching this with her cheek propped up on her hand, seeming to enjoy watching the drama play out.

\---

Anders appreciated the support from Hawke and he leaned into him, letting the touch comfort him. “I’m not with a bigot.” He could never resist throwing that word at him since he thought it described him perfectly. “What you couldn’t have Hawke so you moved on to Varric? Well, you don’t deserve him either.”

Varric rose to his feet, not liking where this was going. “Blondie, it doesn’t have anything to do with you,” he repeated, a little surprised that he was more concerned with making sure the warrior felt okay than the mage, at least right now. “Why don’t you guys take off and we’ll talk about this later when everyone’s fully sober?”

“I am sober!”

“Well, I’m not. We can talk about this tomorrow, okay?”

\---

“Anders…” Hawke squeezed his shoulder. “Everyone has been getting along. I’m on your side but you don’t need to attack Fenris right now. You’re better than that.”

Fenris was starting to seethe and Hawke’s words only made it worse. “I didn’t accuse Hawke of betrayal when he chose to be with you, so try having a letting respect for Varric and butt out. Maybe I don’t deserve him, but it’s not your concern. Not everything is about you, mage.”

\---

“I’m not you,” he snapped, knowing that Hawke was right, but just as worked up. “I’m not the asshole, you are. You shouldn’t even be allowed to stay with us, I don’t know why we’ve kept you around as long as we have, we don’t need you.” He turned to look at Hawke, obviously not all that happy with him either, since a big part of it was his fault that the warrior was still their companion.

“Hawke, get him out of here, We’ll talk about this later.” Varric’s voice was growing firm as he pulled Fenris closer, bringing him to face him. “Just ignore him, Broody, he’s not thinking clearly right now.”

\---

“Yes, he is.” Fenris was starting to tremble with rage, his head snapping back toward Anders even though he allowed Varric to turn him. “He means everything he’s saying. So what’s it going to be, Hawke? Do you not need me? Am I dismissed because your mage can’t stand the thought of someone actually wanting to be with me?”

Hawke hated that both of their eyes were on him and he used his hold on Anders’ shoulder to start turning him toward the door. “Varric’s right. Some of us have had too much to drink for all of this. Let’s go home, okay? We’ll figure this out tomorrow.”

\---

“You know I’m right, Hawke.” He pulled away from him and rather than stick around, he shook his head and stormed out. Varric watched him go, upset, but he turned his attention right back to the elf. “Just calm down, kid, okay?” He looked to the others, “Go.” He was deeply regretting his decision to kiss him, but he hadn’t been thinking and their relationship, whatever it was, was out in the open for everyone to scrutinize.

\---

Hawke went right out the door after his lover. The pirate and the bloodmage lingered a little longer, but when Varric told them to go, Isabela was disappointed and Merrill was immensely relieved. When the two of them made their exit, Isabela closed the door behind them. Fenris shook his head and took slow, deep breaths. He muttered under his breath, something in Tevene that sounded like a rather nasty curse.

\---

“...You okay?” he asked, placing a hand on his arm and holding it lightly. He knew that he wasn’t, but he was hoping it wouldn’t take long for him to move on from the whole confrontation.

\---

“No.” He leaned into him a little, letting his presence be a comfort to him as it always was. “I’ll be curious to see if he’s successful this time in convincing Hawke that he doesn’t need me around. I’m just relieved he didn’t convince you. I didn’t expect you to defend me when it comes to him, I wouldn’t have held it against you.” It would have hurt, but he knew who his heart belonged to.

\---

“He’s not going to convince anyone of anything. He doesn’t see what the rest of us see, but he will. Eventually.” Fenris was right that he’d changed a lot and he was sure that Anders was aware of it, even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it in the moment. “The stuff between you isn’t my business and I’m not going to take sides, but I wish you wouldn’t fight.” He cared about both of them and he understood where they were both coming from, so he couldn’t condemn either of them.

He was studying him closely. “...But I won’t let him abuse my elf either.”

\---

“Your elf…” His voice was softer at that. He hadn’t really expected to be his anything. “I know you don’t want us to fight. That’s why I’ve been trying. Even tonight, I held back. He was the only one name-calling. I knew him being angry would upset you and I didn’t want to make it worse.”

\---

“I’m upset that both of you are angry.” He wasn’t over his feelings for Anders, not by a long shot, but he was beginning to understand that there was more. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. It’s my fault this happened - I wasn’t thinking.” He’d gotten really into what they were doing and he’d gone too far. “I’m not ashamed, though, even if he wanted me to be.”

\---

“I’m glad you’re not. And I’m not sorry that they saw us kiss. We have nothing to hide.” His shaking had subsided and though he was still incredibly tensed, he moved to sit down on the edge of his bed to try to ease himself further. “There’s no reason anyone should take our relationship personally. This is only for you and me.”

\---

He waited until he was sitting to trail after him and join him. “Maybe we should talk about it. Our relationship, I mean. They’re going to be asking about it tomorrow, so… what do you want to tell them?” He was curious how he felt about it. He knew how he felt to a degree and he figured he knew what he’d say if he asked him, but he wanted to make sure.

\---

“It’s up to you. It has been up to you for a long time.” He hadn’t thought there was much to it. But after the things the dwarf had said tonight, maybe there was more. He leaned into him a little. “Does it really matter in terms of what they think? The mage is going to want you to renounce me completely.”

\---

“Obviously that’s not going to happen.” He shrugged, looking away from him as he tried to sort through his thoughts. “Maybe it does matter.” He fiddled with his sash, loosening it and pulling it from his waist so he could toy with it. “You said that you’re my elf.” He was the one who’d first said it. “Is that what you want to be?”

\---

“You said it, actually.” He looked down to the floor. He was still worked up about Anders ruining the night and didn’t know how to feel now that the discussion had taken a turn like this. “I do want to be. But our friendship is important to me and I don’t want to push things if that isn’t what you want.”

\---

“No, you did.” Some time ago. He continued to fiddle with the fabric for a while, before eventually balling it up and tossing it aside. “Then be my elf.” He felt like he was taking a bit of a leap with this, uncertain of if this was truly what he wanted, but it felt right. The way things had been going between them, it felt like it was supposed to be the next step and the fact that he’d felt he had to stand up to Anders, Anders of all people, about him told him a lot.

\---

He looked to him then, his pulse starting to quicken again for an entirely different reason. “I want to. But are you certain you want that? What about the mage?” He knew he’d said that Anders couldn’t talk him out of spending time with Fenris, but whether or not he could maintain some sort of relationship with him when the man he really loved disapproved was a different story.

\---

“He’s happy and I’m happy for him.” He figured it was no different to how Fenris felt about Hawke, but he didn’t see Hawke as a threat, even if the elf’s feelings ran deeper for him. “Like you said, this is only for you and me.” He turned toward him, so he was facing him, a knee pulled up onto the bed.

\---

“Only ours.” It was odd to think, really, that something like this belonged to him. He really didn’t know how Varric would be able to do this with Anders’ disapproval, but it seemed he at least wanted to try. “I don’t want this to hurt you. You’re very convincing, but I don’t know how you’ll convince the mage to accept that you’re entertaining a relationship with an asshole bigot that doesn’t deserve you.”

\---

“If he wants to distance himself, that’s his choice.” He really didn’t want to talk about Anders anymore. “If you’d rather continue this as we have been, that’s fine with me. I just thought…” He shrugged, trailing off. He wasn’t good at this stuff and he’d told him that from the beginning.

\---

“It would have been fine with me too. But if you want me to be your elf and I want to be your elf…” He didn’t know what he was doing either. He just knew that he liked what they had and he’d like more of it. And he was still warmed by the unexpected turn of events that lead to the dwarf defending him against the mage.

\---

“Then we’re together, I suppose.” He’d not had a relationship in a long time and it did feel strange to be entering one now, but it still felt like it was the right thing to do. The next step to take. “That’s what we’ll tell them.” If they wouldn’t accept it, then they would have to figure out a way to get over it.

\---

“I think it will have to be what you tell them. If I’m in the room, it likely won’t be a civil conversation.” He didn’t want to have another incident like this evening to happen all over again the next day. If Anders stayed this upset, he might actually get his way with Hawke.

\---

He sighed, not really feeling as happy as he ought to. “...Would you consider apologizing?” He knew Anders. An apology would go a long way with him, if Fenris apologized and meant it. He also knew Fenris, however, and he doubted he would ever consider it.

\---

His eyes widened at that, his body starting to tense up again. “Apologize? Apologize for what? Did you hear what he said about me tonight? The way he made the improvements I’ve made sound like they didn’t matter at all.”

\---

He knew the suggestion wouldn’t go over well, but he had to make it. “I know… Everything you’ve done means a lot, to me especially, but there’s a lot of past between you two and an apology might smooth things over.” He didnt mean for him to apologize for tonight, rather for all of their past spats and all of the insults and accusations thrown.

\---

He lowered his eyes. He didn’t want to apologize. He knew he’d been nasty to him, but he’d made an effort to make things better. It hadn’t been easy, especially tonight. He didn’t want an apology from the mage either, it wouldn’t mean a thing to him. But for Varric, he knew it might save the dwarf some pain. That Anders might accept this easier and not throw away his friendship with the rogue. Finally, he gave a stiff nod.

\---

“...Okay.” He leaned in and gave his shoulder a peck. He didn’t really know what came next, since a lot had happened and a lot had been established. It didn’t particularly feel like anything had changed, even if it had. “We’ll talk to them tomorrow.” He thought that they ought to do it together.

\---

He looked up to him and nodded again. “I don’t know if he’ll be any more reasonable that soon. But we will try.” He didn’t like the idea of meeting up with them tomorrow. He didn’t particularly want to face Hawke again either, not when their leader hadn’t immediately insisted that he would be staying with the group.

\---

He didn’t know either, but he didn’t think Anders was unreasonable. He sighed and got up to grab a bottle of rum. He didn’t usually pull out the rum unless he really needed to get drunk, but he tossed the stopper aside and took a swig straight from the bottle. He winced and carried it over to his seat, dropping down in it and taking another swig.

\---

Fenris shifted to lie back on the bed, drawing a sharp breath in when the ring around his cock rubbed the underside of him just right. His hunger from earlier in the night was long gone, but he found he was still sensitive even as soft as he was now. He reached down to adjust the ring, giving himself a little rub for relief.

\---

Varric was caught up in his head and he didn’t know what the elf was doing. He didn’t particularly care. If he was going to lay down and get some sleep, good. If he was going to go to his own room to settle in for the night, good. If he was going to stay as he was and just sit there, he could do whatever he wanted. He swallowed down more of the rum and after all he’d had earlier, it didn’t take much for him to be swaying in his seat.

\---

“Come lay down, joual. You’ll make yourself sick if you keep going.” He knew that from plenty of experience. “Or at least bring that over here so I can gave a taste.”

\---

He took another drink and set down the bottle. There was still plenty left, but he left it on the table when he got on and stumbled his way over to the bed. He was less than graceful when he climbed on it, but he was feeling better. He struggled to take off his jacket, fighting with the sleeves, but when he got it off, he threw it to the floor and flopped back.

\---

He pressed close to him when he fell back and kissed him, starting it deep. He really did only want a taste of the rum and tasting it on his tongue would be just fine. The mood was grim, but he didn’t want to end the night that way, not after finally getting some clarity on where they were in their budding relationship.

\---

He wasn’t fully invested in the kiss right away, but as soon as he got a taste of his tongue, he fell into it. Despite being flat on his back, it felt like the world was spinning around him and the elf’s mouth was providing a grounding point.

\---

In a night where much had gone wrong, this felt right. He closed his eyes and tried to forget about the mage who ruined what would have been an incredibly fun night. He just wanted to think of Varric and when he got the access he wanted to his tongue, he coaxed it into his mouth to savor his natural taste along with the rum.

\---

Varric slid his arm around him and with a firm tug, pulled him over him. They never really got into this position, but it would be easier than trying to climb over him. He broke the kiss to mumble into his mouth, “I wanted to fuck you in front of everyone.” Not that he’d really wanted them to watch or even realize, but he’d certainly wanted to do it while they were all there.

\---

“Did you?” He rather liked being settled over him, though the way their hips lined up would be far more convenient if he was the one to mount Varric. “I wanted you to fuck me. I wanted you to bend me over and pound me hard. I wouldn’t have cared it everyone was still there or not.”

\---

He had certainly pictured it differently, but he liked what he was hearing. “Yeah, dirty elf? You want me to fuck you in front of all of them?” After getting his cock stroked in front of all of them, without them knowing of course, the idea was even more appealing. He knew better than to think that they would something like that, but the thought was certainly arousing. “I wanted you to get on my lap. I wanted you to slide right onto my cock and they would have no idea what you were doing.” As if, but the ignorance was part of the appeal for him.

\---

“I wouldn’t care if they were still there to watch or not. I just wanted you to fuck me.” He smiled and kissed him hard before going back to murmuring against his lips. “Maybe I’ll do that next time. Sit on your lap and see if I can get you off with just my muscles since I couldn’t ride you without them seeing.”

\---

“Broody,” he purred, obviously liking the direction this was going. “You should wear your jewelry like you are all the time.” He’d already made that demand and he wasn’t surprise that he didn’t actually follow it, but it looked so good on him, especially when he was bare. “We’ll play strip Wicked Grace and when you’re in nothing but your cock ring, you can sit on my lap.”

\---

“I don’t know if I could handle it all the time, it makes me ache.” Most of the time it was a pleasant ache. “I don’t think you saw it, but when I first laid down on your bed tonight, I had to rub myself. The ring was pressing into me and I’m sensitive from being so wound up earlier…”

\---

“Does it? I thought it was sized well…” Just loose enough to not bother him. “I can get it adjusted again if it’s not comfortable for you.” He looked up at him, his eyes hazy from all of the alcohol in his system. “Maybe get you something to wear too. A solid gold plug to put inside you. Would you like that, my dirty elf?”

\---

“It is comfortable most of the time. It’s only moving certain ways that starts to bother me. I kind of prefer it that way.” He smiled at the suggestion and nipped his jaw. “That would feel nice, my body heat would warm up the gold really well. But I couldn’t just walk around and act natural if you had something in me all the time.”

\---

“Sure you could,” he stroked his fingers over his side, though he only felt the leather of his armor. “Wouldn’t you like to fight some slavers like that? Cut them down with your ring on you and your plug inside you.” He certainly liked the thought. “Some clamps for your nipples too.” His cock was twitching as he spoke of all the things he wanted him to wear.

\---

“And how am I supposed to focus like that, hmm? Imagining your hand is gripping my cock and you’re buried deep inside of me? Your fingers and teeth pinching my nipples…” He smiled. “I’d be a mess of arousal all the time.”

\---

“Maybe that’s how I want you.” He smirked, everything that happened earlier fading from his mind. “Cumming all day and thinking about me.” He was picturing it and thoroughly enjoying the images he was procuring, the elf flushed and sweating from more than just the exertion of battle.

\---

“I’m our front line of battle. I can’t just be cumming the whole time I fight.” He laughed softly, the sound husky with lust. “But in our off time I could wear all of that for you. Can you imagine me sitting in my chair while we play cards, rocking in my seat to move the plug and trying so hard not to moan?”

\---

“...I’m getting a plug for you tomorrow.” He doubted it would be finished by tomorrow, but he was going to have one made and it was going to be solid gold. Just like his necklace. His elf was going to be hiding so much of his wealth on his body. “I want it to be nice and thick so you can’t think of anyone else.”

\---

“I need it to be as thick as you.” Anything else just wouldn’t feel right. He needed to feel like it was Varric inside of him. “I want you to get me off with it once before I start wearing it. I want to always be chasing that feeling.”

\---

“I can do that.” His cock was hard and pressing into him, all of their dirty talk having got to him. He was kind of surprised, with all of the alcohol running through his veins, and he was a little too out of it to really act on it. All he could really manage was continuing their discussion.

\---

“You really like this idea, don’t you? Making me crazed for you. Mad with desire.” He reached down between them to squeeze the cock pressing into him. “And how will I be able to torment you in return? What will make you want me all day, joual?”

\---

He chuckled under his breath, a crooked smile on his lips. “Don’t worry about me, Broody. Knowing how you’re feeling will be enough for me.” He didn’t need the attention returned to enjoy himself. He would be content focusing his energy on his elf, rather than the other way around.

\---

“Watching me trying not to cum will do the trick for you?” He rose up to his knees then, looking down at him with a smirk. Deciding to give him a show, he lowered his pants enough to free himself, showing him how snuggly the ring fit him when he was fully hard as he was now from all their talk. “Did I ever tell you how sensitive wearing this makes me? The way its always rubbing the base of me when I move?”

\---

His eyes fell and fixed on him. “It looks like it feels good,” he murmured, reaching for the chain and giving it a tug. “Does it feel good?” He gave it another tug, harder, his own cock twitching as if to shift with his.

\---

He gasped when the tugs stimulated him further and he nodded. “It does. And it’ll feel so good with the plug and the clamps…” He reached down to stroke himself, closing his eyes and giving a low moan, still so sensitive from earlier. He wanted him to see this and imagine that this was how he’d look all the time with so much jewelry that would tease him.

\---

Watching what he was doing, he couldn’t resist going for his own cock, though his strokes were lazy. Just enough to stimulate him, but nothing more. It wasn’t like it’d been under the table, but some other time… they could do it again. He could fuck him, just like he’d promised.

\---

He smiled when his eyes opened again and he saw him touching himself as well. “You like to see me like this?” He asked in a moan, starting to pump himself faster. He wanted Varric to see all of it - his cheeks flush, his breaths quicken, the needy way his hips began to rock. “You want to see me like this all the time?”

\---

Varric groaned under his breath. “Mmm. I do. I want you desperate for me to fuck you.” His own hand quicked a little, as if to match his pace, but he still wasn’t putting all that much effort into it.

\---

“I will be. Even if the gold makes me cum, it won’t be enough. It’ll just keep stimulating me and it just won’t be enough until you fuck me.” He was starting to writhe, to lose himself in his strokes. He knew Varric wasn’t quite coordinated enough right now to take care of himself, but he’d see to that once he’d given him a good show.

\---

“Dirty elf,” he purred, loving the way he talked. He loved it from him especially, because he’d never heard a hint of sexuality from him until they’d started hooking up. Nothing to all of this.

\---

“Your dirty elf.” He was really starting to become overwhelmed with pleasure and his moans grew more frequent and desperate. He stroked himself faster, squeezing the places Varric had discovered he liked best, and he watched the dwarf with dark, pleasure-drunk eyes. “Varric…” His tone was the one he used with him when he was right on the edge of release.

\---

He was trying to keep up with him, but he couldn’t. His strokes were clumsy as the rest of him, but there was heat in his eyes. A bleary heat. He tugged at the chain again with his free hand, wanting to watch him cum and see the way the waves of pleasure overtook his body.

\---

The tugging on the chain was all he needed. He gasped and pumped himself feverishly, spilling a thick load onto Varric as he often did these days. When he’d squeezed himself for a final time, he let his head hang briefly and he panted softly to catch his breath. After taking a few beats to compose himself, he used his hand to wipe up the seed he’d lost, then moved Varric’s hand aside and took over stroking him using his own cum for a lubricant. He did call him a dirty elf, after all.

\---

The dwarf groaned, both from the touch and from the way he went about it. “Broody,” he breathed, reaching for his arm, clutching at it as he stroked him, his head tipping back. His eyes closed, though there was a lot to see in front of him. He found himself picturing the table. Everyone sitting there and the hand beneath it, stroking him while they were all oblivious.

\---

“My dwarf…” He purred to him, his voice still husky with pleasure. He stroked him hard and fast, knowing that there had been plenty of teasing through the night. That his sweet rogue needed release before the alcohol lulled him to sleep.

\---

It didn’t take long. As thorough as he was working him, it was but minutes before his hips were snapping up into his hand and he was spilling, the alcohol getting rid of his filter and making his moans fill the room. As quickly as the tension filled his body, it left it and his head slumped to the side.

\---

He smiled when he got him singing and finally brought him to after teasing him at the table what felt like an eternity ago. He half-heartedly wiped up the mess before he laid down over Varric again, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Feel a little better?”

\---

He took in a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. “Yeah.” The feel of him laying over him was a little uncomfortable with all he was wearing. “Take your clothes off and lay down.” They weren’t really clothes per se, but he was beyond distinctions right now.

\---

Fenris did as he was told, stripping off his armor and tossing it carelessly to the floor. All he left on was the chain around his hips. He settled back over Varric again, nuzzling his face into his shoulder as he got comfortable. It was much better without the metal between them.

\---

He was finding that he rather liked the feeling of having the elf over him, his weight pressing into him. He slipped an arm around him and held him loosely. “Better,” he approved, moving no more than that. He was tired and sleep was beckoning him - he was happy to answer that call.

\---

“Sleep well, joual.” He wouldn’t be sleeping. Not after the altercation with the mage, though the rest of the night had been a lovely distraction. Still, as the pleasure faded, the anxiety of knowing he would return the next day began to gnaw at him. Varric had assured him his mind couldn’t be changed and he had to hope that he was right. He closed his eyes and rested, occasionally unable to resist pressing soft kisses to his neck or shoulder.


	14. Chapter 14

It was several days later that Hawke returned to the tavern in search of the elf. When he went up to Fenris’ room, he knocked on the door and when he was invited in, he frowned to see that Varric was with him at the table, ornate dice on the table between them. He shouldn’t have been surprised to find them together. “Hey. I need to talk to you, Fenris. Preferably alone.”

“Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of him.” Fenris said, already a little apprehensive about his stiff demeanor. “Sit down, Hawke.”

The rogue moved to the table, taking one of the empty seats. “I’ll get right to it. ...We have a problem. Anders won’t agree to meet with you two. In fact, he’ll hardly speak to me. He’s not going to be able to move past this so long as you’re still with the group.”

\---

Between them, things had been going well over the passing days, but as a group… everything was still up in the air. As such, when Hawke stepped into the elf’s room, he was glad to see him. Apprehensive, but glad. When he began to speak, however, the feeling began to fade. “Come on, Hawke, you’re kidding - you’re seriously going to kick him out? He didn’t do anything.”

\---

“It’s not at all what I want. But I have to consider Anders’ feelings. I’m hoping this is only temporary and when he’s had some time, he’ll be willing to let me invite you back. But right now, I don’t have any other way to make this right.” He looked to Varric and sighed. “I think he’ll at least talk to you if Fenris is out of the group.”

“So you’re getting rid of me because your boyfriend decided to take my relationship with his friend personally?” Fenris growled, his hand gripping his goblet dangerously hard. “Do you understand that this is my livelihood? That I risk my life for you and that your only other warrior isn’t always available?”

“I know, I know. Listen, I can give you some coin to help make for this in the meantime. But like I said, I’m hoping this isn’t for long…” He didn’t like this at all and the hurt he could see just beneath Fenris’ anger gave him a shart twist of guilt. “I’m really sorry, Fenris.”

“I don’t want your coin or your apology. Get out.” Fenris snarled, throwing his goblet to smash against the wall and narrowly missing Hawke’s head.

\---

“Fenris,” the dwarf spoke sharply, the name slipping off his tongue without thought. “Stop it. Don’t do something you’re going to regret.” He looked to Hawke, frowning deeply at him. “This isn’t right and you know it.” He hesitated, briefly considering stepping back himself, but he knew that he couldn’t do that. It was better to try and fix this from within than to isolate himself from them. “I’ll talk to Blondie, he’ll see that he’s taking this too personally, and everything will work itself out.”

\---

Hearing his real name was jarring and it was enough to still him. Hawke shook his head but kept a sharp eye on Fenris, wanting to be sure he wasn’t going to let his temper get the better of him. “I know it’s not right, Varric. But he’s not going to talk to you or anyone until he knows I’ve sent Fenris away. Just let me tell him I did it and I think he’ll be willing to talk to you.”

\---

“Fine, tell him whatever you want, but I’m going to talk to him tomorrow.” He looked over at Fenris, still frowning. He had a feeling that an apology wasn’t going to be forthcoming now. It was an apology they needed and he thought it would help, but he knew this was going to upset him too much.

\---

“Alright.” Hawke rose to his feet, eager to make a hasty exit. He frowned to Fenris, sighing again. “I’m really sorry, Fenris. I’m going to do everything I can to work this out so we can have you back, okay?”

“Get. Out.” Fenris spat, grabbing the bottle of wine he had between himself and the dwarf. Hawke flinched, expecting that to come flying at him next, but eased a little when the elf took a deep drink from it. The rogue did as he was told then, muttering under his breath that he’d talk to them when he could and rushing out the door.

\---

After the door closed and there were a few beats of silence, Varric turned to him. “It’s not going to last… I’m sure after tomorrow, everything will go back to normal.” Of course, their normal was a world where they weren’t together, but he obviously didn’t mean that bit of it.

\---

“No it won’t. This was the excuse he needed to finally get rid of me. I didn’t want to think Hawke would actually do it, but the mage got his way after all. It’s fine.” It sounded like it was anything but fine and he took a few deep gulps of wine from the bottle. “I’ll find my own mercenary work when I’m not at Margo’s. If Hawke feels like he can throw me away over something this stupid, I don’t need him either.”

\---

“Please stop.” He moved from his chair to close the distance between them, setting a hand on his arm. “Hawke isn’t throwing you away - he doesn’t want to do this, it’s just a temporary thing.” He didn’t want everything to fall apart over this. “Blondie’s upset, you’re upset, I’m upset, can we please just calm down a little?”

\---

He looked to him at the touch, some of his anger easing and leaving him with misery instead. “Fine. I won’t do anything until you talk to him tomorrow. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll look for work elsewhere.” So long as his mercenary work didn’t take him far from town so he could still come home to Varric at night, he could work for someone else.

\---

He relaxed a little himself, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Good.” He ran his fingers through his hair and when he reached his ear, he gave it a little tug. “Everything will work out, you’ll see.”

\---

It was soothing and Fenris wrapped his arms around the dwarf, embracing him from his seat. “I hope you’re right.” He gave him a kiss of his own, wanting to let Varric have his focus rather than fretting over Hawke’s visit.

Hawke made his way to the clinic, knowing that at this time Anders was likely cleaning up unless there was some sort of emergency. He was relieved when he opened the door and found his lover was alone, his last patient of the day apparently already taken care of. Normally he’d walk right up to him and wrap his arms around him, but he knew to keep his distance right now. He’d been as supportive as he could be, but he knew Anders still felt he wasn’t completely taking his side. At least not until now.

Rather than start with small talk that he knew would get a cold response, he got right to it just as he had with the elf. “Hey...I dismissed Fenris from the group. It didn’t go over very well, but I got the point across anyway. He won’t be coming with us for any further missions.”

\---

Anders had glanced up when Hawke walked in, but he didn’t look at him for long. He was upset with him and though he wanted to put it behind them, to fall into his arms and stay there, he couldn’t stand it. Not when he wasn’t supporting him. Which was why when he heard what he had to say, stilling to let it sink it, he went straight to him and stared at him with wide eyes. “You did what?!”

\---

Hawke couldn’t help but smile a little. This was probably the closest Anders had voluntarily gotten to him in days. “Exactly what I said I did. Fenris is out. No longer one of us.”

\---

He was stunned. As it sank in, he threw himself at him, wrapping his arms around him. “Oh, Hawke.” He clung to him, burying his face in his shoulder. He felt validated and it meant everything to him, especially coming from him.

\---

It felt so good to have him back in his arms and he wrapped him up in them tightly. He still didn’t feel good about what he’d done, but this made it feel as if he’d made the right decision. No matter how hurt Fenris had looked. Anders had been hurting too and at least he’d managed to do something to soothe him.

\---

“Thank you,” he murmured, pulling back to look at him. He looked relieved, a smile on his lips, and he leaned in to take a kiss from him. “I’ll never have to see that stupid elf again.” That wasn’t entirely true, not if he was going to maintain some semblance of a friendship with Varric, but he wanted to believe that he too could be convinced of the mistake he was making.

\---

“I can’t promise you that. I didn’t run him out of town or anything. But you at least won’t see him while we’re working.” It was good to see him smile and after the kiss, he managed a slight smile in return, even as conflicted as he felt. “...Now that it’s taken care of, would you be okay with talking to Varric? He told me he wants to talk to you tomorrow.”

\---

He didn’t hesitate to nod. “Of course… I need to talk to him.” He knew that the dwarf probably wasn’t happy with him, especially now, but he still didn’t understand how he could do something like this in the first place. He considered him a good friend - who did that to their friends? By doing what he was doing, he was basically saying he approved of everything Fenris ever said about him. Coming from the Fenris, he couldn’t care less, but coming from Varric it hurt a lot.

\---

“Good.” He just hoped the talk wouldn’t upset Anders even more. “Is there anything I can help you with here? I was going to head home after I’ve done what I can here. It’s been a long day.” After all of this, he needed a drink.

\---

He met his gaze and then stepped back slowly. “...I can think of some things.” He reached for the clasp of his jacket and undid it, letting it fall slowly. Then he started in on his robes, going at a deliberate pace to see what he would do. If he’d let him undress completely, or if he’d step in to help him.

\---

He raised his brows at that. He was tired and wanted go home for a drink. But he also hadn’t seen Anders in such a mood since the night of the incident. “Yeah? What things can I help you with?” He asked him, his eyes fixed on his hands as he watched him undress himself.

\---

He let his robes fall, so he was in only his boots. “No one’s touched me in days.” He managed to say so with a petulant pout, moving closer to one of his examination tables and bending over it. He made a show of dropping his cheek onto his fist and frowning, as if a child that had not gotten his way.

\---

Hawke smirked and moved to follow him to the table, unlacing his pants as he went. “I think I'm just the man to help you with that. See, I haven't been touched in days either and there's someone I've been dying to get my hands on.” He moved behind him, running his hands up the mage's bare sides as he began to grind against him slowly. They'd needed this so badly and as his blood began to race, his guilt for kicking his friend to the curb was at least temporarily forgotten.


	15. Chapter 15

Outside of the clinic, Varric pulled Fenris aside. This was it and he wanted to make sure this went smoothly, though they’d already talked about it before they left. “Okay Broody, he’s not going to want to see you, so I’ll talk to him first and when I call you, you’ll come in. You’ll be nice and when the time feels right, you’ll apologize, yeah?” He knew the elf didn’t want to do any of this, it’d been difficult enough to convince him to come, but it was necessary and he thought that it would do a lot of help.

\---

Fenris had hardly spoken a word since Hawke had left the day before. He'd stuck close to Varric, taking the comfort he could from him, and when they'd made this plan, he'd agreed with extreme reluctance. Even now, he looked miserable, the instructions to play nice and say he was sorry grating on his last nerve. He folded his arms and gave a stiff nod, hoping to get this over with quickly.

\---

He met his gaze. “Are you sorry?” He wanted to know that he meant it, even a little. He doubted he regretted any of their spats, but was he at least a little sorry that he’d judged him without knowing him? If he didn’t mean it even a little, then Anders would know it. It would make this all a lot worse.

\---

The elf drew a slow breath to reign in his exasperation. “Yes.” It didn't make him want to punch the mage in the face any less. But he was wrong to assume he was like Danarius. This mage was bad in his own ways, but not evil like the mages he'd known before. “Let's get this done so we can go home.”

\---

Satisfied as he would get, he nodded and then turned to head inside. The mage was busy, but they made eye contact and though he could see that he wasn’t happy with him, he received a nod of acknowledgement. While he finished up what he was doing, Varric watched him work. He didn’t take his eyes off of him and when they were left alone, he approached him.

“Hey.”

The mage grabbed his stool and pulled it closer so he could sit. “Hey, Varric…”

“Look, I know you’re upset and I get it, but I don’t really think that it’s fair. To me or to him.” He could see him closing up, folding his arms over his chest, and he pushed on. “He’s not who you think he is, just like you’re not who he thinks you are. I know things are rough between you and I know a lot of that is his fault, but we both know you never tried to make things better.” He’d gone right along and made it worse.

“I did try,” the mage replied, indignant. “I tried to help. I tried to talk to him, but he didn’t want to listen. He didn’t care what I had to say, he just ignored me or mocked me.”

“Is that what you call getting him kicked out? Trying to help?”

“You’re one to talk, Varric! I thought we were friends - I understand tolerating him, but he treats me, he treats all mages - including Merrill - like scum! You’re okay with that?!” 

The dwarf sighed. “I’m not saying he’s right, but he has his reasons and we both know that he’s gotten better, don’t try to deny that.”

The fold of his arms tightened. “Okay, fine. He’s gotten better.”

\---

Fenris was pacing outside of the clinic. He couldn't hear what was being said, but he'd picked up faintly on the mage’s voice rising. He didn't really think this was going to get them anywhere and all he could do was hope he could keep a grip on his own temper when he was called in.

\---

“He’s trying and yeah… things happened. He likes me and I like him, so I’d like it if you guys could get over yourselves and start playing nice. He’s already made an effort… so it’s your turn.” He could see that Anders was not at all happy with what he was hearing, but he didn’t argue. After the silence was drawn out long enough, he continued. “I brought him with me. He has something he wants to say to you, so will you hear him out?”

The mage’s frown deepened, not at all liking what was being sprung in him.

“Fine.”

It was as good as he was going to get, so Varric called for the elf, remaining where he was.

\---

Fenris wanted to pretend he didn't hear him. But he also wanted to get this over with. He stepped into the clinic, moving to stand near Varric, but keeping his distance from the mage. He was tense and his arms were still folded over his chest. Knowing they were waiting on him to speak, he forced himself to raise his eyes from the floor to meet Anders’ gaze. “I owe you an apology. It was wrong of me to assume you're like the other mages I've known. You're not cruel and power-hungry like Tevinter mages. I see that now and I'd have seen it sooner if I wouldn't have guarded myself with spite for so long.” He'd had time to plan what he had to say and now that it was out, he dropped his eyes to the floor again.

\---

Anders couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He looked between them a few times, then fixed his gaze on Varric. “Is this coming from you?” Did he tell him what to say? “Funny how I’m only hearing this after Hawke kicked him out.”

Varric took a step closer to him, knowing it wouldn’t take much to escalate this. “No, this is all him and, actually, he wanted to apologize after you left that night, but we were giving you space since you didn’t want to talk to us.” He took another step, so he was standing right in front of him. “Come on, Blondie, you’re kinder than this - you’re the kindest man I’ve ever known.”

The mage looked away from both of them, his foot shifting restlessly. “Does he still think all mages should be locked up and have their emotions ripped out?”

“He’s standing right here, Blondie.”

Anders huffed. “Well, do you?”

\---

“No. Only the Tevinter magisters.” He'd even give Merrill a pass, despite being a blood mage. She was fairly harmless, though he still didn't trust her. He folded his arms tighter, wanting to head for the door the moment he'd heard Anders’ response to his apology, but knowing there was unfinished business here.

\---

Anders wasn’t really buying this, but he was here. It would’ve said a lot more if he were here alone, without Varric dragging him along, but that he was here at all was something. It was obvious that he didn’t want to be here and he doubted he really meant most of his apology, but it was...something.

“...Fine.” He moved off of the stool, needing to stand, a perfect reflection of the elf standing across from him. “I’m not sorry I had Hawke kick you out - I’m sure you wouldn’t want to work with someone who wanted to see you and your kind locked up either. Someone that might turn on you and send you back to your worst nightmare if they ever got the chance. I won’t apologize for it, but… if you’re really not like that anymore… then I know it would mean a lot to everyone for you to be around…”

As much as it upset him, he knew that Hawke considered him a friend. He knew that Isabela liked him and he knew that even Aveline had some affection for the elf… in that odd way of hers. He was really the only one who couldn’t stand him.

If Varric had feelings for this stupid elf, refusing to let up risked their friendship.

“I am sick of fighting you. I never really wanted fight you in the first place.”

\---

“That's why I've stopped fighting. I've stopped name-calling. I've thanked you when you've helped me.” He took slow breaths, keeping his voice low and reasonable. “If you had kicked me out for your safety, you would have done it while I was still antagonizing you. But you did it because you took Varric wanting me personally. I'm not looking for an apology, just asking that you accept mine and reconsider what you've had Hawke do.”

\---

Anders scowled, his hands curling. “Don’t act like you know me or why I’ve done anything that I’ve done.” He was simplifying the situation to the point of insult. He looked to Varric and shook his head, still openly disapproving to their relationship, no words needed. “I’ll think about it.” He didn’t sound as willing as he had moments before, but he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Varric lifted a hand to rub at his brow. “Alright, we’ve bothered you long enough. See you later, Blondie.” He took hold of Fenris’ arm and tugged him toward the door, wanting to get him out of there.

\---

Fenris needed no tugging, deeply relieved by the prompt that they could leave. He kept a straight face until they were outside, where he could finally start fuming. “I knew he wouldn't hear my apology. I knew he was so determined to keep up this rivalry that he'd act like I'm still a thorn in his side.” He growled, eager to get as far from the clinic as he could. “What was I supposed to do? Grovel at his feet after what he's done?”

\---

He let go of him and rubbed at his entire face this time. “Think about it, Broody, if he came over to apologize like that, would you take it to heart? Especially if it seemed like he was only doing it to get something he wanted?” Again, he really didn’t blame either of them for it. They both could use some more tact, though he really appreciated how well Fenris had held it in. He knew that it could have gone a lot worse and that he’d put in a lot of effort to prevent that.

“He said he didn’t want to fight you - maybe you shouldn’t have argued with him.”

\---

“No. That's why I didn't want to apologize, but I did it for your sake and he spat in my face.” If he crossed his arms any tighter, it looked like the tendons in them might explode. “I didn't argue with him, I told him I've stopped fighting. So long as he's okay with you, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't need his blessing or for Hawke to get his balls back, I can start a new mercenary job tomorrow.”

\---

He sighed. There was just no winning when it came to them, but he’d always known that. He wasn’t going to continue arguing for Anders, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference and would only further rile him. “Maybe that would be for the best. There’s no shortage of work in town and let’s be honest, you’d both be happier if you never saw each other again.” That would probably mean no more group gatherings, which was disheartening, but they could work out a system where sometimes Fenris played with them and sometimes Anders and Hawke played with them.

He hated being in the middle of this.

\---

“Maybe my new boss won't betray me because his boyfriend decides to cut him off for a few days.” He really didn't want to work for anyone else, but he was still hurt. “Regardless, I'm done bending over backward for the mage. Either he gives a little or Aveline is your only warrior permanently.” Hawke would hire another, no doubt, but whether or not they could really serve as a strong front line for the group was a different story.

\---

The dwarf didn’t respond. He wasn’t interested in getting any further into it - the elf was just venting. He wasn’t happy himself, but there was nothing he could do to change it. When they got out of Darktown, he finally spoke up. “I’m going to head to Hightown, I’ll see you later?” He had some stuff he wanted to get done and he would appreciate the space while they both relaxed.

\---

“Yeah. I'll be back tonight.” He had some things to take care of himself. He was fully living up to his name, the picture of misery as he looked down at his lover.

\---

He gave him a strained smile and then headed off, somewhat relieved to be away from him. That wasn’t how he wanted to feel, but he just didn’t want to deal with all of the pent up anger. It was his fault for encouraging him to go see him, of course, but everything would be better later. Hopefully.


	16. Chapter 16

The was the morning after their first card night without Fenris. Hawke had come to ask that he stay away and as unfortunate a situation as it was, Varric had agreed. As had Fenris. It’d been a fun night and though he’d felt the missing presence of his new lover, it hadn’t taken much for him to enjoy himself late into the night.

It was the next morning and Varric knew that he needed to see him. He imagined he wasn’t in a good mood, so he decided to surprise him and he picked up breakfast for both of them. He figured it would perk him up a little, if nothing else, and so he knocked on the door with his foot, his hands full, still fighting off a hangover from the night before.

\---

“It’s open.” Fenris called back, hoping that it was anyone but Hawke. The empty bottles of wine lying around suggested that he was likely hungover as well. He looked tired, having gone a very long time without sleep even by his own standards, but it didn’t stop him from his desire to learn to read. He had their book out in front of him and a bit of parchment, practicing copying down some of the words. He was wearing a bit of jewelry Varric had not seen yet - a golden cuff on his left ear that was clearly designed for an elf between the swirling design and the perfect way it hugged the pointed tip of his ear.

\---

He looked at the knob and after a moment, cursed under his breath. He balanced one of the plates on his arm and pushed open the door, stepping in as he took it back into his grip. “Morning, Broody.” He imagined a lot of brooding went on last night. He carried the plates over to the table and set one down in front of him. “Got you something.” His eyes scanned over the table, taking in the book and the parchment.

“Practicing?” He moved to his own chair and sat down, not at all hesitating to dig right in.

\---

He was relieved to see that it was the dwarf and when he saw what he had, his lips quirked up into a smirk. “Two of my favorite things. You and food.” He moved his parchment and the book aside to make room for breakfast, eager to fill his stomach after a morning of feeling rather ill. “I like to practice going over the words you’ve read me. I thought it might help to practice writing them too.” The words he’d written were very shaky and had some errors, but he’d been able to copy them fairly well for a first timer.

\---

“Good idea,” he praised him, and while looking at him, he spied the change. “Got something for your ear?” He still had things being made for him, but he wasn’t all that surprised to see that he’d gotten something on his own. It seemed he’d taken a liking to things that gleamed, just like himself.

\---

“No. I was wanting to get something, but I have to save up until my finances are more secure.” Right now, his work was hit or miss. “Isabela came by last night and gave it to me. Do you like it?”

\---

He chuckled. “I do believe she’s courting you.” He knew that wasn’t true of course, but it wasn’t often friends gave friends jewelry. “It looks good on you.” He did prefer him wearing things that he got him, but he didn’t really care. He wasn’t that possessive.

\---

“If she was courting me, she’d have been the one to get me a cock ring.” He smirked, then took another bite of breakfast. “She just wanted to make me feel included last night. And she said she was disappointed I’m not wearing your necklace anymore. Little does she know…” He wore it all the time, just not where anyone saw.

\---

He gave a little smirk, but it wasn’t entirely genuine. “You’ll be there next week.” He’d already talked to Hawke about them sitting the next one out. He hadn’t liked it, but he’d understood in the end. “You’ll have even more coin saved up to lose by then.”

\---

“I’ll be glad for it. It’ll be nice to still feel like part of the group in some way.” He appreciated that Varric had taken the step to ask them to sit the next one out. To show him so, he leaned closer to kiss his cheek. “I don’t know if I’ll have much more coin by then. I’ll have to start betting my worldly possessions.”

\---

“Just leave your sword for last or you won’t be getting any jobs ever again.” He finished off his food and sat back in his chair. He should’ve gotten himself a second plate. He was still hungry, as he often was after having so much to drink the night before. “I’ll see what I can do about getting you some work.” He had many strings he could pull and since the warrior seemed concerned about getting enough work, he’d do what he could.

\---

“Nah, the sword can go. My bare-handed kills are flashier, they’ll probably get me more work. Hopefully you can find something at least a little dangerous, something worth more than a handful of silvers.” It was the best he’d done since looking for work on his own. He finished his own breakfast and pushed the plate away, looking to Varric. “I made some extra blackberry tarts at Margo’s yesterday. Do you want one?”

\---

He didn’t believe that for a moment, but the mental image was amusing. “Made?” He’d mentioned wanting to learn to cook, but he hadn’t mentioned that he was actually doing it. “That sounds good, bring ‘em over.” He was pleasantly surprised that he seemed to be in a good mood. He’d imagined that he would be feeling pretty shitty about things, especially with how badly he’d taken everything the other day.

\---

“Made. They’re not as pretty as Margo’s, but they taste just as good.” He rose to his feet and went to a basket on his bookshelf, returning to the table and unwrapping the cloth around the handful of fruit tarts he had inside. “It turns out she’ll teach anyone to cook if they’re willing to help prepare meals for everyone else.”

\---

“Might as well while you have the freetime.” He could not be bothered to learn to cook himself. He could make a stew on the road, that was about it, but even then...that was work for others. He leaned forward to look into the basket and seeing the tarts, he helped himself to one. He took a bite and hummed. “Not bad, Broody. Maybe you can give up merceny work and open a bakery.”

\---

He couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Maybe when I earn enough from mercenary work to open one.” It was doubtful, but a nice idea since he’d enjoyed what tiny bit of experience he had with cooking. He took one for himself, despite being rather full from breakfast and took a bite.

\---

He finished it off and gave his finger a suck. “I should get going - I just wanted to bring you breakfast and see how you were doing.” Since he seemed to be doing well, he wanted to get going with his day. The sooner he finished what he needed to do, the sooner he could spend his evening how he wanted.

\---

He was disappointed he was going so soon and it showed in his eyes. But he put on a bit of a smile anyway. “I’m glad you did. I’ve wanted to spend some time with you.” It had been hard to with everything going on lately.

\---

He got to his feet and moved closer to him, his eyes flicking between the elf’s. “Later.” He leaned in and pecked his lips, his hand lifting to give the decorated ear a tweak.

\---

At that, his smile became considerably more genuine. He used the close proximity to steal a kiss of his own, his own a little more lingering. “Later, then.” He didn’t want to be alone. He was miserable alone right now. But if Varric would come back later, he at least had something to look forward to.

\---

He took a final kiss, then moved to head out, but not before plucking up another tart and scurrying out with it.

\---

His smile lingered when he saw him snatch a tart to take with him. He stood to put the basket away, then looked back to his book and parchment. He wasn’t ready to get back to work on it just yet. The elf went to lie on his bed instead, deciding he’d rest his body a little while before he went out to stay busy until the evening. Staying idle wasn’t an option, not when he was still so hurt and angry over everything. But staying busy would help the hours pass until he could let Varric consume his thoughts when he returned.


	17. Chapter 17

It had seemed like a fairly normal afternoon in the Hanged Man. Fenris rarely hung out in the bar alone, but Varric was out with Hawke and the elf had finished his work earlier in the day. He’d go to Margo’s to help with supper later, but for now he had time to kill. It was fortunate that he did because he happened to overhear a rather sinister conversation between men looking for his dwarf. It seemed they wanted more coin from Varric to leave the mage alone and the meant to pressure him into it by attacking now while he was away.

It should mean nothing to him. But he couldn’t stand the thought of Varric coming home to find out something had happened. He didn’t want to put Hawke through that either, as much as he felt betrayed by his former leader. So he didn’t hesitate to rush out of the bar, making his way quickly to the clinic.

He meant to walk right in, but he found that the door was locked. Which was odd this time of day, especially with the lantern lit. Surely he was here. “You have to go. You have to get to Hawke’s place. They’re coming for you.” He called sharply, pounding on the door. But it didn’t take more than a couple beats for him to hear the scuffle inside through the door and he phased a hand through it without thought, unlocking it and letting himself inside.

His eyes fell on the men surrounding the mage on the floor, beating him mercilessly. His lips pulled back into a snarl and he rushed forward in a blur of blue light, throwing himself into the brawl and forcing the men back from Anders, snapping their bones but making an effort not to kill them. Varric did have some sort of arrangement with them, after all.

\---

There was a lot of blood on the floor, but the source wasn't immediately clear. The mage was curled up into a ball on his side, trying to protect himself while the blows rained down on him. Even when they stopped, he couldn’t bring himself to move, weak and  whimpering, his entire body alive with pain and trembling with it. He could hear the sound of fighting around him, but he was too out of it to appreciate it for what it was.

\---

He hadn’t had time to grab his sword, but his body was enough to do the damage. Outnumbered as he was, he’d taking a few hits of his own and at one point, he felt a knife slip into the leather of his side, though it didn’t get all the way in before he snapped the arm the knife belonged to. He didn’t think it hit anything major, but the thought that he could die defending the mage of all people gave him some grim amusement.

When they finally had to retreat, most of them bleeding and howling, Fenris grabbed the last one one his way out by the back of his neck. “You tell your boss that what Varric is giving him is enough. If he disagrees, send him to me.” He snarled before shoving him out the door.

With them taken care of, he looked to the mage on the floor. He went to a table with potions, grabbing two that he recognized - one lyrium and one healing - and brought them over to the balled up man on the floor. “Drink these. I’m going to get you to Hawke’s.”

\---

“N-no.” He looked up at the elf, fearful of him. He struggled to push himself up and in doing so, the source of the blood became clear. He was cradling his hand to his chest and it looked as if his he was holding it in place due to not only the pain caused by it, but due to the fact that it looked to be barely connected to his wrist.

He was weak and pale and rather than take either of what was being offered to him, he started trying to drag himself over towards a shelf where he kept his supplies.

\---

He cringed at the sight of the wound and set the potions down within his reach. He went to the shelf then, grabbing all he could carry and bringing it over to Anders. “Tell me what I have to do with this stuff. We need to hurry and get you out of here before any more men come.”

\---

There were tears in his eyes and they fell as he frantically tried to grab what he needed from what was brought to him. “I need my magic back - I’m going to lose my hand if it doesn’t come back.” He didn’t know how much magebane they’d given him, but if it lasted long enough, the hand would be too dead to reattach. He found a needle and thread and he made a helpless sound when he realized he couldn’t thread it. “Please…” He tried to thrust them at him, nearly dropping them from how hard his hand was shaking.

\---

Fenris took the needle and threaded it. He stitched his armor from time to time, but he’d never stitched another person. An attempt would be better than nothing though and he lined his hand back up to wear it should go, working to stitch it in to place. His work was sloppy, but effective enough. “There’s more potions on your table. Will that bring your magic back?”

\---

The process was painful and the mage was having to muffle himself with his hand, biting down on it and crying. “No,” he wept when it was over, “I just have to wait. Those… those fucking idiots thought it would be funny to cut off bits of me to watch me heal myself. They were almost done when they realized they’d taken away my magic with their fucking potion.” He grabbed the nearest thing to him, a basket of clean bandages, and threw it away from him in a fit of despair.

\---

He had no love for mages, but that was just sick. He shook his head, looking from the mage to the grooves carved into his palm. “Just hold still. Let me try something.” He doubted it would work if lyrium potions didn’t work. But it was better than just sitting and waiting. He put his hand on the mage’s shoulder, then brought his lyrium forth, trying to send a surge of it into the healer.

\---

Anders made a frightened sound, trying to jerk away from him, but as soon as he felt the lyrium’s influence he went still. Even his shaking faded until it was barely noticable. “W-what?” he breathed, reaching for the hand on his shoulder and touching - in doing so, getting a bigger hit of it.

\---

He’d almost pulled his hand back at the initial reaction, but he saw the change in him and hesitated. He looked almost as stunned as the mage and he just kept pouring the lyrium into him. “...Is it working?” Then he realized the hand might be meaning to pull his hand from his shoulder and was just too weak to. “Should I stop?”

\---

He shook his head and after a few beats, he tried to press closer still. He tried to lean into him, to press himself into him and let him take his weight, wanting as much of the feeling he was getting as possible. It didn’t stop the pain, no, but it helped.

\---

When the mage started leaning into him, Fenris tensed. Was he passing out? He moved his other hand to help support him, taking some of his weight but instinctively trying to keep some distance between them. “Stay with me. A little more and you should try to see if it helped and heal your hand.”

\---

With enough time, he did as suggested. He tried to heal his wrist and to his surprise, the pain eased. He tried to move it and it moved. His made an emotional sound and he slid both of his arms around him, hugging him. Clinging to him. He continued to cry, but this time it was in relief.

“Thank you,” he murmured, his voice muffled from the way he was burying his face into his shoulder.

\---

He had no idea what to do with the mage hugging him. It took him a few beats, but he eventually moved one lyrium filled hand to pat his back lightly. “It’s alright. Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

\---

He didn’t want to pull back, but he knew that he had to. He needed to calm down and he needed to make sure that this never happened again. When he moved far enough from him, he became aware of the blood running down his side. He stared at the wound for a long moment, still weak and out of it, before recognizing that the blood was his.

“You’re hurt.” He closed the distance between them again, setting his hand on his side.

\---

“Not as hurt as they are.” He took the hand from his side, letting his lyrium fade, and used the hold to take him by the arm instead, helping Anders to his feet. “Save your strength. We need to get you to a safe place before anyone else turns up.”

\---

He was concerned, but he knew that he was probably right. “Okay, let’s go.” It wouldn’t take him long to get to safety. He pulled a key out of his pocket and as soon as they were outside of the clinic, he went to the trap door that lead to Hawke’s cellar, literal feet from where the entrance of the clinic was. He unlocked it and climbed inside, waiting for the elf to follow so he could lock it behind him.

\---

Fenris followed him inside and once it was locked, he took him by the arm again. “I need to go back to the tavern and make sure there isn’t any more trouble there. But I want to make sure you’re stable before I go.” Anders was still pale and weak and he didn’t want him passing out on the floor before Hawke would return.

\---

“...Can you stay until Hawke gets back?” He needed his lover, but he didn’t know when he would be back and in the meantime… he didn’t really want to be alone. He knew logically that nothing could happen while he was in Hawke’s mansion, but he was still worked up from what had happened to him and he’d taken a lot of blows. His entire body was hurting and he had a lot more healing to do before he was done taking care of himself.

\---

The request stunned him. He wanted him to stay? He knew Anders would trade him for almost anyone else in the world if he could, but still, requesting his company was jarring. “...Yes.” He wanted to get back to the tavern. To make sure all of them were gone. But he also understood the battered mage’s fear of being alone after an attack like that.

\---

He nodded. “Let’s go to the living room.” He guided him through the cellar, up into the mansion. He went straight to his usual spot on the couch, curling up on top of it and grabbing the blanket draped over the back of it to cover himself.

\---

Fenris followed to make sure he got settled, then made his way to the kitchen. He got a pitcher of water and a couple glasses as well as a clean rag and brought them out to the living room. He poured water for each of them, offering one to Anders and keeping one for himself to gulp down.

\---

He took it from him with a murmur of thanks and drank deeply from it. When he finished it, he set it side, clutching at the blanket tightly. His eyes went back to his side and he stared at it for a while, watching the blood ooze out. “Let me heal you.”

\---

“That’s what this is for.” He took the rag and pressed it to his side. He didn’t know how deep it was, but it was only the width of the knife so he thought with enough pressure it should stop bleeding. “Rest. I’ll be right here.” He set his glass down and moved to sit down in one of the chairs. He should have kept the supplies with him to stitch his side, but he’d worry about it when he got back to the tavern.

\---

He frowned. “Stop being stubborn. You got stabbed because of me. Get over here and let me heal you.” He didn’t move out of his blanket cocoon, but he did manage to look rather indignant, as weak as it was.

\---

“If you have any strength left when you’re done healing yourself, I will let you.” The healer still had a long way to go before being back into the shape he was in before the attack. “You’re still much more hurt than I am.”

\---

“I’ll be fine. You might not be. Come here.” He was getting frustrated with him, but it wasn’t in the furious way he would have been if this all hadn’t happened.

\---

He finally rose to his feet, moving to him and lowering the bloodied rag. “You can look at it. But if you don’t have the energy to heal it, I’ll just stitch it. I’ll be alright.” He didn’t particularly want to feel any healing magic, but he didn’t know how long he’d have to wait until he could tend to it his way.

\---

Anders reached for the wound. It didn’t take much to discover it was deep, but he was fortunate that  it hadn’t hit anything serious. Still, it would be better for him to heal it, so rather than argue, he just did it. He left his had in place after it was done, weakened, looking up at him. “...Can you do the thing from before?”

\---

The magic gave him an unpleasant shudder, but it was a relief when the pain was gone. He met his gaze and nodded, understanding what he wanted and why he’d left his hand where the wound had been. He began to glow again and after a beat, he put his hand over Anders’ to give him more contact.


	18. Chapter 18

It was hours later that Hawke returned home, in a great mood after a successful mission. He wasn’t expecting Anders to be home yet and so he was even more stunned to find him sleeping on the couch with his head in Fenris’ lap. Alarm took the place of surprise and he demanded answers, hating to accuse the friend he’d already hurt, but having to assume that he’d done something to Anders.

When he got the basic story from the elf, he moved quickly to the couch. He took Fenris’ place at the end of the couch, giving his lover anxious shakes. “Anders? Anders, wake up…”

\---

His eyes snapped open and when he caught sight of Hawke, he blinked. Then his expression twisted and he reached up for him. “Hawke,” he whimpered, wanting to fall into the safety of his arms. All of the distress that the elf had calmed in him came pouring out of him as he tried to cling to him.

\---

“I’m here.” He wrapped him up in his arms and holding him tightly. “Why is Fenris here?” The best way he could think of to verify what the elf had said was to see what Anders had to say about his presence.

\---

He shut his eyes and buried himself against him, practically lifting himself off the couch to press as close as he could to him. The question was almost enough to make him draw back, but not quite. He’d forgotten the elf was here, just as he’d forgotten falling asleep on his lap while he soothed him with his lyrium. “I asked him to stay,” he explained, though he knew that probably explained nothing. “I didn’t want to be alone.” He didn’t realize that he’d already gotten some form of an explanation.

\---

That was confirmation enough. He stroked Anders’ back and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Alright.” He looked to Fenris then, giving him a nod. “...Thank you for taking care of him.” He still didn’t understand how or why, but for whatever reason the elf had done it.

Fenris gave Hawke only the slightest of nods in return. He moved to them, reaching to put a very light hand on Anders’ arm. “He’s got you, I’m going to go check on things at the tavern.” He was pale from the blood loss earlier, eager to go rehydrate himself further and finally lay down after this huge stretch without sleep. He needed it now.

\---

That did bring him back a little, just enough to turn his head and look at him. He nodded and as much as he appreciated everything he’d done for him, he needed Hawke the most, so after the silent response, he turned his attention back to him. ‘I’m scared to go back there,” he told the rogue, beginning to explain what happened in his own words as the warrior took his leave.

\---

Fenris made his exit, finding himself deeply exhausted by the time he reached the Hanged Man. He wasn’t sure he would have made the walk without stopping to rest if he hadn’t been healed. When he stepped inside, he was relieved to see the Cotiere was gone. So long as they weren’t upstairs harassing Varric, anyway, but he doubted it after the way he’d decimated the attackers earlier.

He made his way up to the rogue’s room and knocked. He was sure he was a sight to behold - covered in dried blood, some of it his own, pale and shaky with exhaustion. But he had to make sure everything was alright.

\---

There was a delay before the door opened. First it opened only a little, then it was thrown open. “Broody?!” Varric looked him over, concerned, before stepping back and giving him room to come in. “I thought you didn’t have a job today?” How had he gone from not having anything to do that day to being covered in blood and injured? He couldn’t quite tell where he’d been injured, but it was obvious he had been.

\---

“I did get one this morning. But that was nothing compared to how I spent the rest of the day. That doesn’t matter, though.” He had bigger concerns at the moment. “Was the Cotiere here when you got back? Did they threaten you?”

\---

He blinked at him, completely lost. “No, why would the Cotiere be here?” He frowned deeply. “The Cotiere did this to you?” His expression was beginning to set, anger filling it.

\---

“They weren’t planning to do it to me. The plan was to ‘fuck up’ your healer to extort you for more money.” He was relieved that they hadn’t been causing trouble with Varric despite the hurting he’d put on them earlier. “The bottom line is the mage is alright now and I didn’t kill any of their men. Just put them out of commission for the foreseeable future. I thought that might get the message across without giving them a reason to retaliate, but I needed to make sure they didn’t try to get to you anyway.”

\---

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “They went after Blondie?” The anger sharpened, but it was overwhelmed with concern. “They hurt him?” He was upset, especially since he had a deal with them. A deal where they were paid handsomely and they left the beloved healer of Darktown alone. It was far from the only deal he had with them, but it was the one that he never really worried about, spending the money on the peace of mind and forgetting about it. “You should’ve killed them, those nug-humping bastards,” he went on viciously, his fingers squeezing tightly.

\---

“It took a lot of restraint not to kill them.” He’d been rather proud of himself that he hadn’t. “They did a number on him before I got there. But I gave him some of my lyrium so he could heal himself and I stayed with him until Hawke got back.”

\---

It really distressed him to hear it. He wanted to go see him and make sure he was okay, but he could see that the elf hadn’t faired well himself. “They hurt you too.” He was pissed. He didn’t know what Fenris was talking about. Giving him lyrium, what did that mean? He wasn’t going to worry himself over it. “They’re going to regret fucking with either of you.” He reached for him, touching his arm with surprising gentleness for how enraged he was. “Are you okay?”

\---

“They’re only minor wounds.” He turned a little to show him the split in the side of his armor that was crusted with old blood. “One of them stabbed me, but the stubborn mage insisted I let him heal it eventually even though he needed to save his strength.” He moved in closer when he was touched, wanting to be held but not just yet. “I need to clean up but I don’t know how much longer I can stand. Will you stay with me in the washroom for a minute and make sure I stay steady?”

\---

“Yeah, come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He slid his arm around him to brace him as they walked out of the room. He did pause to lock it behind him, before making his way to the washroom with him.

\---

Fenris was glad for the support and when they were inside, he lit the fire beneath one of the wash basins. He wasn't going to wait around for it to warm up, but it would at least take the chill out of the water. He quickly undressed, revealing the cuts and bruises he had from the fight but as he said, nothing major. The concentration of dried blood on his side was the only evidence of his serious wound, the flesh mended and smooth from the healer’s touch.

\---

He was use to his companions being covered in wounds, it came with the work they had, but knowing what had caused them had him a lot more worked up. The only assurance he had was that mage was okay and that he’d taken care of the elf.

\---

“I bet in your thoughts of what I'd be doing today, taking a knife in my guts for your Blondie wasn't near the top of the list.” He sounded exhausted, but being with Varric after all that had happened that day was improving his humor as it usually did. He kept a hand on the dwarf to steady himself as he wet one of the clothes in the room and started to use it to rub the blood and debris from his skin. He didn't climb into the tub, knowing it would feel good but that he might be too tired to get back out if he did.

\---

“No, I can’t say that it was.” He appreciated it, but was confused about how any of this had happened. “How bad would it have been if you weren’t there?” He wanted to know what the worst case possible would have been, since he was going to take it into account in his own retaliation.

\---

“He might have bled out if I wasn't there.” It seemed like a distinct possibility, he didn't know how long it might have been before his magic returned. He added some soap to the cloth, giving himself a general scrub though he was getting rather lazy with it. He needed to lie down.

\---

His heart was beating quickly and unpleasantly, but his only reaction was the anger that had been on his face since he’d shown up at his door. When he noticed that he’d missed a bit of the blood, he slipped the rag out of his hand and cleaned it for him. “Come on, that’s good enough.” He let go of him to grab a towel and helped wrap it around him. He gathered up his armfuls of his armor, knowing they’d have to clean it before he put it back on.

\---

The elf took hold of the towel wrapped around him and kept his other hand on his lover. “I want to stay with you tonight. I need to be here if they come back.” He still thought they might do more to try to get coin out of Varric and once he had a couple hours of sleep, he'd be ready to fight all of them off again.

\---

“They’re not going to come after me - they know better.” Then again, he’d have said that they knew better than to break one of their deals like that, but he still didn’t think they’d come straight for him. “They’d go after Blondie again before they’d come after me.” He walked him to his own room, letting him in and locking the door behind him.

\---

“They were looking for you in the first place. When you weren't here, they sent men to the clinic.” He let the towel fall to the floor, leaving him in only the gold around his hips. He eased himself down onto Varric's furs, incredibly relieved to rest. He didn't think his body would ever deprive him of sleep this long again after this whole ordeal. “Hawke knows what happened, he heard it from me and from him. He won't let anyone get to him.”

\---

“They wouldn’t attack me.” If they were trying to get more money out of him, they would find ways to put pressure on him. That was exactly what they’d done with the mage. “If they think they’re getting another coin out of me, they’re in for a rude awakening tomorrow.” He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the elf, then sat down on the bed beside him.

\---

“If they try anything else, I'll kill them next time.” He murmured, the blanket helping him to relax even further. “I didn't today because I thought it would make more trouble for you.”

\---

“You’re probably right.” It probably was better that they were left alive, though he’d have shed no tears for the bastards if they were dead. “Don’t worry about it anymore, just get some sleep.” It was his problem to deal with and he would make sure nothing like this happened again.

\---

He reached for the dwarf’s hand, holding it loosely as he let his eyes fall closed. It had been a strange day, but it was ending with familiar comforts - Varric's bed and his lover beside him. The elf going to sleep even on the nights that he could was usually a slow process when he hasn't taken a sip of the draught Anders had made him, but tonight it only took a few heartbeats for him to fall under.


	19. Chapter 19

It was a couple of days later that Anders ended up outside Fenris’ door. He felt a little awkward, but Hawke was with him and he felt like this was the right thing to do. He knocked on the door, then drew his hand back to balance the heavy basket in his arms. He figured his company wouldn’t be welcome, so he intended to make this visit quick.

\---

Fenris moved from his book and parchment at his table and went to open the door. The very last person he expected to see, other than perhaps Danarius, was on the other side. He looked surprised, but not unpleasantly so, and stepped back. “Come in, have a seat.” He was so shocked to see Anders that he hadn't even noticed Hawke was there right away and he nodded to acknowledge him as well, despite the rough terms they'd been on lately.

\---

He moved in, pleased to have made it that far, and set the basket down on the table. “I brought you some stuff.” Arranged in the basket were all manner of glass vials, bottles, and jars. Things that the warrior would undoubtedly recognize. Several vials of sleeping draught, several bottles of elfroot potions, several jars of healing salves. Plus other remedies for burns, rashes, and various ailments that the elf sometimes suffered from though their time together.

He didn’t sit as he was told, still planning on making a quick exit after Hawke said his bit.

\---

“Thank you, you didn't need to do that.” He wasn't looking for any sort of reward. But they were things that he needed and he appreciated it. Feeling the need to offer something in return, as oddly cordial as this whole thing felt, he moved to his shelf to grab his own basket, unwrapping the cloth over it to reveal a handful of fragrant cinnamon apple muffins. “I made these this morning, have one.”

This seemed to be going well and Hawke put a hand on Anders’ shoulder. He flashed him a reassuring smile and took one of the muffins. “Thanks, they look good.”

\---

“Weird,” the mage commented without thought, the mental image of him baking anything bizarre to him. He realized that he’d probably take that poorly and flushed, but quickly plucked one up and took a bite. “It’s really good.” He was surprised by how good it was he offered him a smile in thanks for it.

“So, I just wanted to stop by and say thanks for coming to help me… I wouldn’t have thought that you would, but I’m glad that I was wrong.” He fiddled with the muffin in his hand, finding it hard to look at him. He looked over at Hawke instead, silently asking him to step in.

\---

Fenris set the basket aside, pleased that they seemed to like what he'd made. “It's alright. I just wish I had gotten there sooner.” They'd already made a mess of Anders by the time he arrived, but the mage made it out in one piece in the end.

Hawke finished his muffin greedily, then realized Anders was waiting on him. He hastily wiped the crumbs from his lip with the back of his hand. “Fenris, we'd like for you to join the group again. I know you've found other work, but it would mean a lot to us - to everyone - if you'd come back.”

The elf stared at the rogue as if he'd spoken to him in a language he didn't understand. After a few beats, he looked to Anders. “...Are you sure?”

\---

“I won’t be an asshole if you won’t,” he tried to joke, but it was obvious that he still felt awkward about all of this. He weaved his arm around Hawke’s, using it for support. “Like I said, I’m tired of fighting with you.” He didn’t want things to continue as they had. Knowing that he’d been trying to make changes before on top of what he’d done to help protect and save him… he felt like things would be better from here on out.

\---

He nodded his agreement, then looked to Hawke. “I'm with you, then. Give me a day or so to wrap up some loose ends, then I'll be available when you need me.”

“A day or so is the least I can give after what you did for Anders.” Hawke said with a smile. It meant so much to him that the elf had protected his love and he knew he owed him a lot for it. “We'll get out of your hair. We'll get together in a couple nights for cards and talk about the next mission then.” When he got a nod in response, he gave Anders’ arm a tug to see if he was ready to go.

\---

He gave a small smile at the agreement, satisfied with how this had gone. He didn’t hesitate to start for the door when he was tugged, not wanting to linger. He knew this was tentative and they still weren’t wild about each other, they probably never would be, but he’d learned that he could be safe with him and that went a long way with him.

\---

Fenris waited until the two of them had been gone for a little while before he made his way down to Varric's room. He wasn't sure if the dwarf was in or not, but he knew he'd be pleased with the news if he was. “You home, joual?” He called as he knocked, letting his voice tell the other who it was and the good mood he was in.

\---

Varric had entered the his room not all that long ago, having missed the pair by minutes, and he was in the middle of carefully scrutinizing the object on his hand. He looked up at the sound of his door and quickly dropped said object back into its box. “Come in,” he called back, sitting back in his chair and waiting expectantly.

\---

Fenris stepped inside when he was invited, pleased that he was home. Rather than go to his own seat, he helped himself to the rogue’s lap. “I've got a bit of gossip for you. I've heard Hawke hired my replacement.”

\---

He slid his arms around him, pleased with his choice of seat. “Oh yeah? Who’s that?” He already knew the answer. Not that he’d been told, but he knew Anders. He knew Fenris as well. His good mood was obvious, even as he beat around the bush.

\---

“He found some elf with a giant sword. White hair, covered head to foot in tattoos.” He buried his fingers in his chest hair and stole a kiss from him. “I didn't think he'd find another warrior like me, but I guess he managed.”

\---

“You didn’t? You’re a copper a dozen, Broody.” He smirked up at him, stroking his fingers over his thigh. “That’s why I have to decorate you in gold. Make sure you stand out.”

\---

“Gold that only you can see.” He smirked in return, enjoying the hand running over his thigh. The only visible gold he wore anymore was the little cuff he'd gotten from Isabela, after all.

\---

“Speaking of, I have something for you.” He reached for the box and pulled it closer, plucking out the object he’d been examining before he came in. Out came a mountain of gold, shaped to be as thick as he was, but curved at the tip to rub against the right spot. “What do you think?” he smirked, holding it out for him to examine.

\---

His eyes widened at the sight of it. It was intimidating, but then, that was what he'd wanted. He took it in his hands, equally amazed by the weight of it. “I think we'd better try it out.” He murmured, his tone a little husky. He'd asked for Varric to fuck him with it before he started wearing it and he wanted to know how gold would feel inside of him, knowing they were in for an exciting night.


	20. Chapter 20

A month passed with Fenris returned and as far as Isabela was concerned, little had changed. As always, she was paying close attention to the developments between the dwarf and the elf, subtle was they were, but since the kiss and the drama that followed, nothing interesting had happened.

Knowing that they were usually together, Isabela made her way to the other rogue’s bedroom, knocking on the door softly. “You here? I want to borrow those pretty dice of yours.” She called, trying to listen in as she thought she heard something on the other side. If he wasn’t here, then she’d check the elf’s room.

\---

The rogue was slouched back in his chair, smirking down at the elf on his knees in front of him. Not directly in front of him, rather he was kneeling in the middle on the carpet as if on display. A display he was, his cock hard and straining against the ring wrapped around the base of it. His nipples were squeezed tightly by golden clamps, connected by a length of chain dangling between them that matched the one wrapped around his hips.

Between his teeth was a leather bit that with gold fastenings that wrapped around the back of his head, digging into mussed hair.

At the sound of the knocking, the dwarf reluctantly tore his attention away from the elf. At first he looked annoyed, but the expression faded and he looked back to his elf, all made up for him, and a slow smirk pulling at his lips.

“Stay there, dirty elf,” he ordered him, rising to his feet and approaching him. He looked down at him and reached for his chin to pull his face up so their gazes would meet.

\---

Fenris looked up to him, his eyes blazing with need. He nodded in his grasp, catching onto his intention and unconcerned about whoever was at the door. He'd been made a public display countless times before and in the wrong mood, he might be upset by the idea. But right now, he just wanted the dwarf to do whatever he pleased with him.

\---

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead, gentle enough that it contrasted from everything else he’d done to him so far, before going to answer the door. He unlocked it and opened it. Not enough that she’d be able to see in, but if she were paying close enough attention, she might see that there was a considerable bulge in his pants.

And all he was wearing was pants.

“I’m a little busy, Rivaini,” he told her by way of greeting, a strange smirk on his lips.

\---

Her eyes widened at the sight of his bare chest and it took no time at all for her gaze to drop to the evidence of his arousal. “I can see that. You've got someone in there to take care of that for you, I hope?” She smirked and tore her eyes from him long enough to try to see inside.

\---

“You don’t have to worry about me,” he responded, tapping his fingers against the door. “You said you needed my dice?” He pushed the door open the rest of the way, pulling back from the frame. “Come get them.” He made his way back to his chair, dropping down into it, that same smirk on his face, knowing that when she moved in, she’d catch sight of his dirty elf kneeling in the middle of the room where he’d left him.

\---

Isabela stepped inside and when her eyes fell on the elf, her heart leapt into her throat. She instinctively closed the door behind her, unable to take her eyes off of him. “...I might need to borrow something else of yours instead.” She purred as she moved closer, walking around him to shoot the view from all angles. Fenris’ eyes flicked to the pirate briefly, but quickly returned to his dwarf in the chair.

\---

“No can do.” He gave his lap a pat, silently summoning the elf closer. He would know that he was expected to crawl on his hands on his knees to get to him and Varric knew that doing so would give the pirate a good look at the gold nestled between his cheeks.

\---

Obedience was second nature and he lowered onto his hands to crawl to him. The movement jostled his chains and the gold inside him, making him whimper into the bit and by the time he was between Varric’s thighs, leaning into his leg like a faithful dog, he was panting with need.

Isabela was so fixated on the pair of them, she honestly forgot what she'd come here to borrow. “That's a pretty elf you have. And such a good boy.” She purred and moved to take the nearest seat. Since it seemed they were playing slave and master, she didn't think Fenris would take offense. It didn't seem that he did, too caught up in the need for pleasure and too used to being spoken of as a possession to pay her any mind.

\---

He was rather enjoying showing off what was his and he knew that no one would appreciate it quite like she would. “He is,” he agreed, his voice low. He reached for the chain between his clamps and tugged it, pulling both of them at the same time with enough force to make them ache.

“Come, bend over my lap.” He wanted him to lay himself across his thighs.

\---

He gasped sharply when his nipples were tugged, but didn't hesitate to follow directions. He moved to the side of Varric's chair and bent over his lap. His aching cock came in contact with the side of his lover's thigh and he whimpered, his hips giving a desperate little jerk as he yearned to grind into him, but he quickly got hold of himself and stilled.

Isabela watched this with deep hunger and fascination. “Is he always so well-behaved for you?”

\---

A hand fell to his ass and he stroked it slowly, letting his palm rub over the smooth flesh. Rather than answer her, he nodded towards his shelf. “Dice are over there.” His fingers dipped between his cheeks and ran along the metal, trailing up to the base of his spine and then further still, to the expanse of his back. He took his time there, exploring the lines carved into his flesh, but eventually he ran of skin to touch and his fingers slid into his hair. “Good boy.” The answer was yes, he always was.

\---

Fenris was tense at first, but as the hand worked upwards, he relaxed and took deep breaths. The soft touch was soothing contrasted with everything else that had his skin blazing with heat.

“Don't mind me. Go on.” That was a good reminder as to why she was here. But the flashy dice seemed extremely unimportant compared to the show she was getting.

\---

“You got a peek, Rivaini. It’s time to go.” He’d let her in to see, but he didn’t plan on letting her stick around, not while he actually played with his elf. “Take the dice or don’t, but shut the door behind you.” He lifted his gaze to her, giving her a lazy smirk. He knew she’d want to stay. Hell, he knew she’d want to participate, but she was going to have to find some other way to keep herself entertained.

\---

“What a cruel tease.” But she smiled. What she'd seen was enough to get herself off many times over. She stood and collected the dice, but paused by the door for another long look. “And now I know those tattoos go everywhere. Later boys.” With that, she left and closed the door behind her.

\---

He slid his hand down below his jaw to clutch it and tip his head back, knowing that the position was not comfortable, but making sure he had his attention. “What do you want, dirty elf?” he asked, voice husky, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to speak through the bit in his teeth. “Do you want me to please you?” He paused briefly. “Or do you want to please me?”

\---

“Please you.” It was muffled, but likely comprehended. His eyes very clearly gave the opposite answer. He was so desperate to be touched. But he knew the correct answer just the same.

\---

He smiled, dragging his fingers up his neck to the back of his bit. He undid the clasps, letting it loosen and fall. “Hands behind your back.” As soon as he obeyed, he grabbed his wrists and pulled them together, looping the bit around them and binding them there. It wasn’t a perfect restraint, but it worked enough that he wouldn’t be able to use his hands for anything.

He eased him down to the floor in front of him and then made a show of slowly unlacing his pants and pushing them out so his cock sprung out.

\---

He was relieved to move his mouth around, but he remained quiet. He watched his cock hungrily, then looked up to Varric. He leaned in close with his lips parted, silently showing his intention and waiting for permission.

\---

“Go on,” he purred, watching with anticipation. “I want you to cum while you suck me.” It would be difficult for him to do anything to give himself satisfaction, but if he was creative, he could figure out something.

\---

He wasn’t sure just how he would do that, but the dwarf’s satisfaction was more important than his own. He leaned in closer and took him in his mouth, humming in satisfaction to finally taste him. He was too hungry for his usual finesse, sucking him hard and deep from the start. He wanted to be fucked so badly so he mirrored that with his mouth, plunging him in as far as he could at the risk of choking himself.

\---

It was quite the sight and he smirked his approval, his eyes heavily lusted. It feel really good and he was more than making up for his lack of hands. “That’s it, my dirty elf.” He could see how in need he was and he liked that he was obedient, doing only what he was told, despite needing far more than he was getting.

—

The words were encouraging and he closed his eyes focusing on his work. It was a relief to have an order to follow. Something to do to take his mind off his aching cock. He sucked him feverishly, occasional whimpers escaping him as the motion of his bobbing made the tip of the plug press into his prostate.

\---

“You can do better than that,” he murmured, knowing that he wasn’t going to be cumming from only little jostles. “Show me how much you love pleasing me.” His hands gripped the arms of his chair, holding tightly, betraying how good it felt.

—

He whimpered for a different reason entirely. He needed his hands. He needed something and he reached as well as he could with his bound hands to put more pressure on his plug. It helped and it got his hips rocking beyond his control, but he needed his cock touched. He was moaning around his cock as he sucked him trembling with need but staying focused on the task at hand.

\---

This was much better. He couldn’t get enough of what he was seeing, the desperation to not only take him, but to please himself. “My good boy,” he breathed, groaning and thrusting into his mouth to help...and to make it harder.

—

Fenris took the thrusting in stride, choking a little for a moment, but adjusting fast. He took him like he was desperate to taste his release and in a very real sense, he was. But he still needed more himself and he was almost sounding pained as he tried to shift his weight so he could get some friction between his cock and his thigh, desperate for anything that would ease the ache.

\---

He grabbed onto his shoulder, needing to touch him. It probably helped to steady him, which wasn’t something he wanted, but the longer it went on, the less the game mattered. The more he wanted the pleasure to overwhelm him, though he kept enough of his awareness on him to make sure he continued to obey. He groaned, the sound as much a warning as words would have been that he was close.

—

He knew his instructions and he tried to work the plug harder, desperate to make himself cum for him. But he just couldn’t get enough contact with his cock. The easiest thing to do would be to try grinding against Varric’s leg, but one never touched their master without permission. He moaned in desperation as the plug’s tip rubbed him just right and he sucked Varric hard, wanting to swallow down all he was given.

\---

He realized that he wasn’t going to do as he was told and cum just as he was about to spill himself, so he shoved him back with the hand on his shoulder. He’d been moments from release and so it left him panting and aching and when his eyes found the elf’s, he was displeased. “What did I tell you?” He cock was throbbing and when he rose to his feet, he actually winced.

\---

“I failed you.” He’d cowered the moment he’d been pushed away. He knew they were playing, but in the back of his mind, the fear was still there. He was kneeling low in a bow, instinctively displaying his back for the blows that normally followed the failure to follow an order.

\---

“You did. You’re a bad elf.” He observed the position he took. Deciding how he’d punish him for disobeying, he gestured to the chair, though he wouldn’t see it from the way he was bowed. “Bend over the chair.” He wanted him to bend over it just like he had his lap earlier.

\---

That was an easy enough order to follow and he moved quickly to do just that. His cock was hurting so badly that when he laid over the chair again and his cock touched the wood, his made a sound between a yelp and a moan, his hips giving a couple involuntary jerks to press himself into the chair before he could still himself.

\---

He approached him slowly, looking him over. “You’re to stay quiet, you understand?” Like before, he set his hand on his cheek and felt the soft skin, rubbing and kneading it. Without warning, he drew his hand back and smacked his ass hard. Hard enough to sting, though he wasn’t really trying to hurt him.

\---

He nodded at the instruction - he would be silent. He drew in a sharp breath at the hit, but he didn’t make a sound, as he was told. He was shaking, so desperate to grind into the chair a little more, but he was still and waiting for the rest of his punishment.

\---

He continued to give him hard smacks with his hand, reddening his cheeks and jostling the plug inside him. He did not let up until the skin was bright and sensitive, then he moved to stand in front of him, his cock aching to be burying inside of him. “Bad elf, I don’t know if I should let you cum.” He took hold of a handful of his hair to pull his head up, pressing himself to his lips. “You wouldn’t cum when I told you to, so you don’t deserve to cum at all, don’t you think?”

\---

Again, he knew the correct answer even if it wasn’t true. “I don’t deserve it.” After he answered the question, he opened his mouth, inviting the dwarf inside. It was the best way to ask if he could finish his duty while Varric was holding him this way.

\---

He pushed himself in, but it was only but a few thrusts that he, he pulled back suddenly. It seemed he’d changed his mind.  Without a word, he walked to the other side of him, standing behind him. He grabbed the base of the plug and pulled it out, dropping it onto the table without ceremony. Then he positioned himself there instead and pushed in hard.

\---

He had whimpered when the plug was pulled out, then gasped sharply when the warm cock replaced it. He couldn’t help himself and he gave a couple needy rocks of his hips, succeeding in working the cock in deeper and pressing his own cock into the chair. He moaned deeply, his muscles gripping the dwarf tightly as if he was afraid he’d pull back out.

\---

“I said stay quiet,” he warned him, wanting to see if he could. He took hold of his hips and began to pound him hard. He thrusted roughly and then held himself there as he reached beneath him and grabbed the chain between his clamps. He pulled them up to his lips and told him to bite down on it so that he would be keeping the chain taut with his teeth while he fucked him. It would either help keep him quiet… or it wouldn’t at all.

\---

He had thought he was only to be quiet during his punishment, so his sounds stopped immediately when he was reprimanded. He took the chain, having to hold his breath for several beats as he adjusted to the tension on his nipples. But having something between his teeth did help him to keep quiet, clenching down hard on the gold and panting deeply.

\---

Worked up as he was, he wasn’t going to be able to draw this out as much as he wanted to. He tried to keep himself from getting too carried away, but his cock was throbbing urgently inside him. He bent down to press kisses to his shoulder blades. “My dirty elf,” he purred, and despite his threats of not allowing him to cum, as his own sounds began to fill the room, he reached beneath him and took hold of his cock, stroking it.

\---

The kisses were wonderful, reassuring that he was doing a good job after his previous failure. When the hand gripped him, he was beside himself. The relief was so intense that tears stung his eyes. His hips bucked and his muscles tightened, but he stayed true to his orders and didn’t make a sound beyond his harsh panting. It didn’t take much for him and even when he spilled heavily, his muscles tightening like a vise, he was silent.

\---

He rather liked his sounds, so it was a little disappointing that he did such a good job. At the same time, he was pleased that he did such a good job. At the same time, he was moments from cumming and he couldn’t care less. He cried out as he spilled into him, bucking hard to get as much as he could out of his release. He leaned over him, pressing his weight into him, panting harshly as his forehead pressed to his spine. “Good boy,” he breathed, his hand shifting up to release the clamps from his nipples and massage them to ease their discomfort.

\---

They hurt so badly and he almost couldn’t tolerate the touch, but he knew better than to pull away and it was just soft enough to soothe him after the initial shock. He was struggling to breathe, balancing their weight on the chair with his torso since his arms were still bound. But he could hardly bring himself to care about his ragged panting, so incredibly relieved that his cock was no longer aching.

\---

When it seemed he’d relaxed into his touches, he pulled back from him and grabbed the straps of the bit, undoing the binds on his wrists and easing his arms down beside him. He slid his own arms around him and pulled him up, helping him rise to his feet. “Let’s go to the bed, Broody.”

\---

He needed the help up, still shaky and weak after all of that. But he could breathe easier and when he was upright, he wrapped his arms around him in return. He was often clingy with him after they played this way. It was part of what made the game feel safe to him - the reminder that once it was over, he was still with someone who cared about him. “Okay.” He smiled, liking the idea of the bed and the soft furs waiting there.

\---

He walked him over to the bed and eased down onto it with him. “Did that feel good?” he asked, though he knew it had. He could see how irritated his nipples were from the clamps, but the rest of him looked okay. He stroked a hand along his back absently, his eyes fixing on the elf’s.

\---

“It did.” How terrible it had felt a lot of the time had only made it feel better when he finally got his release. He kissed him, then cuddled up to his side. He wanted to be held and he nuzzled his face into the dwarf’s shoulder.

\---

“You’ll have to do a better job next time,” he teased, returning the kiss. “If you want to be mine, that is.” He brushed their noses together, giving him another kiss. “You look so good in all your jewelry.” And he had a witness to that now.

\---

“I’m already yours.” He chuckled under his breath, happy to steal another kiss after Varric gave him one. “But I’ll still do better next time. It would be a shame to be so pretty in all of my jewelry and not be able to perform.”

\---

“If you want to stay mine then.” Of course, he didn’t mean it. If he didn’t want to play this way anymore, then they wouldn’t play this way anymore. He would be disappointed, as he liked it a lot, but he could find other ways to enjoy himself with him. Before they’d started getting kinky, he’d enjoyed their sex just fine. “I expect a lot from my… men.” He knew what they were playing with, but he never spoke of what it was they were pretending in so many words.

\---

“As you should.” He stroked his fingers through Varric’s hair, nipping at his lower lip lightly. “I won’t disappoint. I want to be the best man you’ve ever had.” He knew that in a real sense, he was the only man he’d ever had, but that wasn’t exactly what they meant anyway.

\---

“Good - I’ll have to punish you otherwise.” He slid his hand up to the back of his head and cradled it to him, rubbing his fingers into his scalp gently. He liked the attention there and so returning it felt natural. “I don’t want to punish a pretty thing like you.” Actually, he kind of liked being able to get firm with him sometimes. Everything about it was enjoyable.

\---

“I won’t make you. I’ll be good.” He kind of enjoyed the ‘punishments’ too as they were never really meant to hurt him, but he also liked following his orders and being told how good he was. It felt so good to be cradled close to him this way and he looked so perfectly content resting against him.

\---

He could see that he was tired and it reflected what he was feeling himself. As such, he let the banter drift away. After a while of silence, he broke it once more. “Goodnight, Broody.” His voice was quieter, starting to fall asleep.

\---

“Goodnight, my joual.” He murmured in return, closing his eyes with a faint smile on his lips. He was content to rest this way for the night and listen to the soft snores of his dwarf. If he fell asleep himself at some point in the night, even better.


	21. Chapter 21

It was on a day that Fenris was studying on his own that he decided to try to copy down the words on the cover of the book and sound them out on his own. Of course, he knew what the title was. But there was usually other words on books - on the spine or the back - and he could try those. He was getting pretty good at sounding out words, after many evenings of Varric’s patient guidance, and when the dwarf came over that evening to read, he intended to start by reading everything on the outside of the book to him.

To his surprise, he sounded out a very familiar name on the book. He thought he almost had to be wrong and kept trying, but every time he said the name, he came to the same conclusion. In fact, when Varric had pulled this book off of his own shelf on a night he’d forgotten to bring it over, hadn’t he noticed that the name on the spine looked a lot like many of the names on the other books? He hadn’t thought too much about it then, but now he realized that there was likely a reason it had caught his eye. Because he’d looked over Varric’s name in their early days of reading the dwarf’s smut novels together.

He’d thought they were venturing into a book by a different author, but it seemed that somehow he’d managed to pick out another book of Varric’s. No doubt the dwarf had been amused by this, but Fenris was impressed that he’d gone all this time without saying a word about it. Deciding to continue on copying down the words of the cover for now, he smirked to himself, deciding he’d see what Varric had to say for himself when he got there that evening.

\---

When Varric arrived, he knocked on the door to announce his presence and, knowing that it was usually unlocked if he was there, he pushed it open. They visited each other enough that a warning knock was all they really gave. “Evening, Broody,” he greeted him as he stepped in and shut and locked the door behind him.

Isabela was forever trying to catch them in the act after the peek she’d gotten before.

He was use to see him trying to practice his words and he encouraged it, knowing that learning to read was one thing, but that learning to write was another entirely. He sat down in his usual spot and leaned into the table. “Feel like going downstairs and playing a few rounds with the idiots?” By a few rounds, he of course meant a few hours, but the quickest way for him to gain coin was to scam the patrons of the bar out of theirs and he was saving up for another gift.

\---

“In a little while.” He smiled to see him, always pleased to have him over even when the most exciting plan of the evening was reading. He liked their quiet nights as much as he liked their wild ones. “I was working on some new words. Ones I’ve never read before. I was waiting for you to make sure I got them right.”

\---

“Oh yeah?” His eyes went to the parchment to look at what he’d been writing down so he could glimpse what he was talking about. “Let’s see.” He reached for it to pull it closer, wanting to take a better look.

\---

“Let’s do it this way.” He pulled the parchment toward himself, not wanting Varric to see his name written out. Instead, he pushed the book toward him. “I want to read you the words on the cover.” Which would largely make up the synopsis on the back. But it was the name on the front and the spine that he wanted to catch Varric’s reaction to.

\---

He looked down at the book and then lifted a brow when he was told what he wanted to do. With the back of the book facing him, he pulled it closer to look over the synopsis. “I’m surprised there are any words that you haven’t read before.” The synopses were fairly straightforward in his books and he imagined that any words on it were ones they would have already come across in the book itself.

\---

“There were a few.” He took out his parchment and began to read the words he’d copied from the book. He slowed down on the words that were less common in actual writing, also taking a moment to struggle over a word with a couple silent letters, but getting past it eventually.

\---

The way he did things, he never really felt like he was teaching him. He was reading to him and when it was his turn, helping him read, but he never really approached it as a lesson. From his view, they were just reading a book together and the elf was learning as they went. That said, he never minded when he wanted to slow down and go over words or when he sought help in his practicing.

He liked that he cared enough to put in so much effort and it pleased him to hear him reading on his own, especially considering how long it had taken him to get to the point of being able to get through a sentence on his own.

“Sounds good to me,” he informed him when he came to the end of the synopsis. “Which words were the ones you hadn’t read before?

\---

“Two of them.” He had been staring down at his parchment, but he looked up to him when he spoke again. “Varric Tethras.” He couldn’t help but smirk. “But I suppose those aren’t on the back. Just on the front and the side.”

\---

Both brows lifted this time and then he chuckled, sitting back in his chair. “I wasn’t sure you’d figure it out.” It wasn’t uncommon for people to read books without ever paying attention who the author was, so he wouldn’t have been surprised if they finished the book and moved on to another without him ever realizing.

\---

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” He asked with a smirk, setting the parchment down. “We’ve worked on this one so many times and you were never once tempted to tell me it was yours?” He always talked about how much he liked this book, so he knew Varric had been enjoying the ego stroking in secret.

\---

“I wanted to see if you would figure it out.” He shrugged. Not to mention he’d enjoyed the ego stroking, which he’d certainly gotten a lot of. “It’s a lot different from the stuff we read before.” He was curious if he’d notice the similarity in writing, or if it would seem completely different to him. “Besides, I didn’t want you to decide you’d rather read something else.” Since they’d already read several of his shorter works, he thought he might be keen to branch out if he realized he’d accidentally purchased one of his books.

\---

He rose from his seat, taking his favored seat in Varrics’ lap. “I enjoy this book just fine. Of all the books I could have chosen in the market, I just happened to buy one of yours. What are the chances?”

\---

“You’re telling me,” he smirked, sliding his arms around him. “I guess you just have excellent taste.” He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Since you’ve become an expert in all things Varric Tethras, maybe you can proofread the one I’m working on now.”

\---

“Would that mean I’d get to be the first to read it?” He didn’t know what ‘proofread’ meant, but it seemed likely that meant no one else had seen it since it wasn’t finished. He’d returned the kiss while it had lasted and now stole one of his own. “Of course I have excellent taste. In men and in literature, so of course I’d choose my dwarf’s book. It only makes sense.”

\---

“Yep, the very first.” He smiled and gave his ass a playful pinch. “We can read something different next time, if you like. I happen to know a few good books that I didn’t write, believe it or not.” He wasn’t far enough in the book he was currently writing to have him start in on it next, but with a few more months, he ought to have enough.

\---

“Maybe I only want to read yours.” It would probably be good to branch out. In fact, he had thought that he’d done just that when he purchased a book of his own. But he liked everything he’d read of his and considering how much he was liking The Dragon’s Fortune, it was clearly unbiased. “I could be your biggest fan.” He chuckled and nipped his jaw.

\---

“Oh no, that honor is Emile’s.” He smirked, sounding rather amused. “Sends me a letter at least once a month. Sometimes twice. Gushes for pages, asks for autographs on books I’ve already autographed.” She was without a doubt his biggest fan. “You might have to settle for my favorite fan.”

\---

“Somehow I think I like you even more than she does. I’ll settle for no less than your biggest fan and your favorite fan.” He kissed the spot he’d just nipped at. “Just wait until I learn to write. I’ll write you more letters than you’re ready for. I’ll ask you to sign my books and my body.”

\---

 His smirk grew at that, eyes lighting up with interest. “I don’t know. Emile’s a lot of competition. You’ll have to work hard if you want to be my biggest fan.” He turned his head suddenly to catch his lips in a kiss.

\---

He was surprised by the kiss, but he met it eagerly. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, closing his eyes and melting into their kiss. It was just so easy to get caught up in him. He forgot his retort about being able to handle the competition, answering instead with the passion in meeting his lips.

\---

He ended up chuckling into the kiss, knowing that he’d won that little argument. Not really even an argument, but he’d still won it. When he broke it, he did so slowly, winding down until their lips parted. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and win some money.” He would have more fun if he was there with him, instead of working the room by himself.

\---

“Are you kidding? I have to work on writing. I’m not going to let some woman best me as your biggest fan.” He chuckled and gave his bound hair a tug. It seemed he wasn’t ready to give up on it, no matter how good the kiss had been.

\---

“Fine,” he agreed, amused. “Get a fresh sheet of parchment. Get started on your letter.” He was curious what he would be able to write, if much of anything. He’d helped him, if he needed it. The thought amused him, helping someone write his own fanmail.

\---

He hopped out of his lap to grab the new sheet of parchment, returning to his own seat instead of Varric’s lap and snatching up his quill. He had been quick to action, but actually setting the quill on the paper, he hesitated. He’d never tried to write without copying letters directly. “I’ll make her letters look like a joke.”

\---

“Impress me,” he challenged him, leaning into the table and watching him. He knew it would be difficult, but he’d help him through it. There was a smile on his lips that lingered, endeared by his determination.

\---

When he finally worked up the nerve to start writing, he began with the large, shaky lettering of a child learning to write. He started with ‘My’, then hesitated again. In the letters written out in some of the books they’d read, they’d address someone as ‘dear’ or ‘friend’ but that didn’t quite qualify. He wanted to use a word in his own tongue and, intimidating as that was since he hadn’t actually seen anything written in Tevene since he’d started learning to read, in his mind it felt easier to sound out the word since it was his first language. He went on to write out ‘Amatus’, knowing that was not the endearment he usually used for Varric, then went on to write his name.

He quickly moved along, doing surprisingly well at writing out his first full sentence about why he liked the main character of The Dragon’s Fortune so much. It was easy because he was used to seeing the character’s name a lot and the gallant way he was described. After some initial gushing specific to the book, he slowed and began to struggle, trying to find words entirely of his own as he wrote out a slow, shaky sentence about how lucky he was to belong to someone as talented and…

Fenris frowned and tapped his quill on the table as he tried to think. He was looking for the word imaginative, but he couldn’t quite think of it. He also didn’t know how it was spelled.

\---

He was watching him write, patient as he figured out the words he wanted to put on the paper. He cocked his head a little at the beginning, but didn’t say anything. He was waiting until he was finished or until he got stuck, so when he seemed to, he leaned a little closer.

“What were you trying to write here?” He pointed to the Tevene endearment, having been trying to figure out what word he was going for, but being unable to.

\---

“You won’t be able to help me with that one, even if I spelled it wrong.” He’d been getting frustrated with the word he was stuck on, but he smiled a little at the diversion. “It’s in my language. But how does the rest of it look?”

\---

“Not too bad.” He was curious what it meant, but he turned his attention to where he trailed off. “Talented and…?” He wanted to know how he intended on finishing that sentence. The rest of the letter was actually pretty impressive for someone that hadn’t ever really written on his own before and he certainly liked the ego stroking.

\---

“...Imagination? That’s not quite it but…” For all his fluency in the common tongue, trying to write in it had him feeling considerably less confident. “In Tevene the word is ‘almeshina’. Imagine…-ive?” He knew that wasn’t right either and his frustration was becoming apparent again.

\---

“Imaginative,” he supplied, waiting to see if he’d be able to get it down on paper. There were spelling mistakes sprinkled through it. A lot of grammar mistakes, but it was easy enough to read.

\---

“That’s it.” He frowned as his quill touched the parchment again. He’d never seen that word. He started it with an ‘e’, got a couple letters in, then scratched it out. He tried again, starting with an ‘i’ and liking it a lot better. In the end, he was very close to accurate, only missing the ‘e’ at the end. He looked up to Varric uncertainly, wondering how he’d done.

\---

“There’s an ‘e’ at the end,” he pointed out, though he didn’t actually know how much that would help. They’d never really gone over letters. He obviously understood the words and their sounds enough to break them down into letters, but he didn’t know if he knew what an ‘e’ was conceptually.

\---

He looked up at the dwarf with a smirk that made it clear he had no idea what he meant. But he know what letter might look right to him at the end of that word and he pointed to another ‘e’ he’d already written on the page. “One of these?”

\---

“Yep, you got it.” He was pleased that he’d figured it out. “Go on, don’t leave me hanging. Finish your letter.” He wanted to see what else he would write and he wanted to fold it up and tuck it away when he was done.

\---

He went on, filling the page talking about how much he liked Varric just as much as he talked about liking the book. Of course, it didn’t take that many sentences to fill the page when his unpracticed letters were so big and poorly aligned. When he reached the bottom of the parchment, he smiled to himself as he wrote down ‘Your biggest fan’ though his ‘biggest’ was missing a ‘g’. At that point, he hesitated again. He’d never seen his own name. He didn’t know if it might have two ‘n’s or ‘s’s. The common language was funny about its double letters. But he’d read about some of Varric’s characters ‘brooding’ so that was a little easier. He signed it ‘Broody’, then passed it over to him.

\---

Since he’d read it as he went, he didn’t need to reread it when he finished, but he did anyway. He started from the top and read his way through it, start to finish. When he was done, he carefully folded it into thirds and tucked it away. “I guess I have to take it back.” He reached for him and pulled him right back into his lap. “I guess you really are my biggest fan.”

\---

The elf eagerly followed the tug and climbed back into his lap. “I told you so.” He kissed the corner of his lips. “I’m holding onto my title too. I’ve got to write you more than two a month.” It would be good practice for his writing anyway.

\---

A thought occurred to him and he laughed to himself. He reached for the book and the quill he’d been using, bringing both close enough that he could open the first page and write on it. In quick, neat writing he jotted down ‘To my biggest fan and my dirty elf - Varric Tethras’. “There.” He’d autographed his book for him.

\---

He read it slowly and carefully, mouthing the words as he often did reading something for the first time, then laughed. “A genuine, personalized autograph. It must be my lucky day.”

\---

“And it’ll be mine if you come downstairs with me to be my lucky charm.” He nipped his lip and then rose to his feet, scooping up the elf and carrying him as he hopped off the chair. He eased his feet to the ground so he could stand and then straightened himself. “Ready?”

\---

He grinned to find himself swept up out of the chair and placed on his feet. “I wouldn’t make you go play without your good luck charm. Let’s go, joual.” He’d gone back to his usual endearment for him without thought, then smiled and took his hand. “Amatus.”

\---

He recognized the word from reading it, so as he tugged him to the door, he questioned him. “You gonna tell me what that means?” His use of it had been interesting and he didn’t know why he hadn’t used common in place of it. When they got outside, he waited for him to shut and lock the door behind him.

\---

“Joual? It translates directly to ‘sneaky’. It’s a nickname often used for rogues in Tevinter.” He knew well that it wasn’t the word he meant and it showed in his smirk. He locked up the door, then tucked his key away and looked back to Varric.

\---

He shook his head, amused. “I actually knew that already.” The reason he’d never asked him was because after hearing it a few times, he’d researched it himself. “Don’t tell me, then. I’ll figure it out on my own.” It wouldn’t take much to find out what ‘amatus’ meant, not when he already had the book on translating Tevene sitting around.

\---

“Did you? Then you should have no problem translating ‘amatus’. It’s a more common word than ‘joual’.” He gave his hand a tug. “Let’s get downstairs. You’ve got some coin to win.”


	22. Chapter 22

Card night had come around again and Fenris decided he would toy with his dwarf. They'd had a few successful card nights with Anders since they'd reconciled and so if Varric lost control and kissed him again, he didn't imagine it would get such a visceral reaction.

He'd taken out his plug, which was unfortunate since rocking himself subtly on the wooden chair felt rather nice, but he had bigger plans in mind. Within the first couple rounds, he'd worked him beneath the table until he was nice and hard, then freed him from his pants. He stroked him while Varric chose his amount to bet and when the dwarf’s hand wandered over again to toy with him, he smirked, knowing he'd feel that he'd been slowly working his own pants down.

Isabela knew discretion when it was needed and so she hadn't drawn any attention to them, but her eyes kept meandering their way. Their bluffs and subtle reactions were no match for her. Knowing what she did, she'd immediate honed in on them when the heat in their cheeks started to make them flush, well aware that it wasn't the alcohol they were knocking back. After the round finished, she volunteered to get more drinks and once she delivered the ale and tea to all of them, she sat down considerably closer to the pair.

\---

He hadn’t really thought this would happen again, so when Fenris had initiated, he’d been pleasantly surprised. He wasn’t really worried about a repeat of last time and after how much he’d enjoyed last time, up until the kiss, he was glad that he was willing to delve back into this.

This time he was more active himself, returning the attention. It only seemed fair. When he reached for him, intending to squeeze his cock through his pants, and felt bare skin, he returned his smirk, wrapping his fingers around him and stroking him slowly. It was just enough that they were both freed, but could cover themselves at a moment’s notice, if need be.

\---

He drew a slow breath, but otherwise didn't react when he was stroked in return. It felt so good and it was so hard to focus when it was his turn to make another bet. He didn't fold early, despite his distraction, knowing his hand was good and wanting to win some coin back. When he won, he looked quite pleased with himself and after pulling in his winnings, he shifted over to sit in Varric's lap. Feeling the cock pressed into the flesh of his ass, so close to where he really wanted it, made his body heat rise that much more. He glanced to the other couple at the table, wanting to make sure they weren't drawing too much attention. Fortunately Hawke was quite drunk and was holding Anders in his own lap, nuzzling the back of his neck and being far less subtle about stroking his hand along Anders’ thigh, laughing heartily over something Isabela had said.

\---

He sat back when he found his lap filled, his heart picking up as he realized what he was intending. He had to peek around him to see what everyone else was doing and as much as he wanted to get right into it, that wasn’t the point of this. The point was to be subtle so he worked around the elf to shuffle and deal the cards, though as soon as he had his hand, he was already tugging at his pants to help make sure his ass was uncovered, his fingers slipping between his cheeks to brush against his entrance. When it seemed to be enough, he urged him to lift himself up a little so he could slip himself between his cheeks instead and position himself.

\---

Just his fingers were enough to give him a jolt of pleasure and when he felt the prompting he immediately lifted his hips a little. He found at his angle, he couldn't raise himself quite enough and stay subtle about it, so he lowered down again and had to settle for giving him a little grind as he got comfortable again. Isabela was watching all of this with hungry eyes and when it was her turn, she tossed in her bet carelessly, scattering some of the coin. She laughed and shook her head. “This is why I should shouldn't hit the ale so hard before you boys even get here. Would you get that for me, Fen? Put that long, lanky body to use?”

Fenris snorted, but he was eyeing her. He felt her watching, but hadn't expected her to involve herself. At least it seemed she meant to give them an opening for what they wanted. He rose up again, careful to keep his hips hidden by the table as he reached to get her scattered bet. When he pulled them into the pile, he lowered back down onto Varris’ cock, having to snatch up his mug and take a deep drink to hide his expression as he sank all the way onto him.

\---

He didn’t have the best vantage point for this, the elf being taller than him, so he was trusting him to keep an eye out on the others since he could only really look around him. He couldn’t quite see Isabela from where he was - it was easier to lean to the opposite side of where she was sitting to view the game, so he wasn’t as aware of her watching them or of her slip up being intentional.

It didn’t really matter to him, since it gave him room he needed to press himself into place. His breath hitched and he made a sound under it as he exhaled, the heat surrounding him all the way to the base as he settled back on his lap. He swallowed and tossed in his own coin, knowing that he was next, though he wasn’t even sure what his hand was and he had to look at it again after it moved past him to the next person.

\---

He was so pleased to have him inside, even if he couldn't ride him the way he wanted. He settled for shifting his hips a little as he appeared to adjust his positioning, then gave him a hard squeeze with his muscles. When his turn came around again, he tried to keep his breathing even as he looked over his hand, then rose up on his lap just a little to toss in his bet.

\---

Though it got him no where, he couldn’t help but press up into him, mimicking thrusts, though with the weight on his lap, all he really managed was clenching his muscles. When the elf leaned up, he glanced down to where their bodies were joined and didn’t hesitate to carefully shift his hips up, knowing that eyes were on them. It made it even more thrilling with he got a little bit of friction between them and as he threw out his bet and flipped a new card, he used his free hand to encourage the elf to stay raised just that little bit.

\---

Fenris leaned on his elbow on the table, using it as his excuse to stay raised. He squeezed his muscles, then released them rhythmically, trying to make up for what little thrusting Varric could do. It was hard to keep his breathing even and he found himself drinking more to mask his soft panting.

After her turn had finished, Isabela glanced to Anders, waiting for a moment that the pair was caught up with each other, then leaned in to Varric. “Your pretty elf is being so good tonight.” She purred into his ear.

\---

Varric was rather caught up in what he was doing and so when Isabela suddenly appeared on his opposite side, he tensed, pulling the elf down onto him completely. It basically hid what they were doing, though he found himself yanking up the front of the elf’s pants to cover him, even with his cock still buried into him.

Though the movement had been far more obvious than anything else they’d done so far, it’d still enough beneath the table that it hadn’t drawn any attention. “Maker, Rivaini, mind your own business,” he snapped, a little put off that they’d been caught and interrupted.

\---

Fenris had been surprised by being tugged down suddenly, but managed to keep himself quiet while he took his turn.

“I've been watching your business all night. I gave you the opening you needed to slide into that tight little ass of his.” She could see he was annoyed with her interaction and to make up for it, she moved a hand to Fenris’ thigh, which startled him enough that he not only shifted in Varric's lap but clenched him hard.

\---

He tensed harder, the sudden movement making him grunt. He didn’t know what she’d done, but she could see the way her arm was reaching and he felt himself grow possessive, thinking she was grabbing his cock. “Hands off,” he snapped again, sharper this time. Still quiet, but at the line.

\---

“I touched him just above the knee, Varric. I know he's yours.” She whispered soothingly but removed her hand as she was told. Fenris had looked over his shoulder at them subtly, not sure what was going on and she made a show of making a risky bet, diverting the attention back to the game at hand.

\---

He still wasn’t thrilled about her butting in, but when she seemed to back off enough that she wasn’t directly involving herself, he couldn’t help but want to continue. There was still a thrill, even if he’d already gotten caught. Really, there was even a thrill in one of them knowing - the same way it had been when he’d let her come in the room. As such, even with her sitting there, he rubbed his ass with his hand and then urged him back up.

\---

Fenris followed the prompting, leaning into the table so he could rise off of his lap. His hips gave a needy little wiggle and he pushed them back just a little. It was clear how bad he wanted to be fucked and between lust and his drinks, it was getting harder and harder to pay any attention to the cards.

\---

He thrusted into him, frustratingly shallow and frustratingly slow, but the way it made him tremble with need for more was so good. When it came to him, he risked continuing without stopping, pushing himself up into him as he made risky bets without properly analyzing what was out on the table. As such, when the round came to an end and he had to throw down his cards, even Anders raised his brows.

“What’s gotten into you? Even I wouldn’t bet on that hand.”

The dwarf stilled, shrugging. He grabbed his ale to have a sip. “Guess I’ve had a bit too much to drink.” He smirked at him, as if playing it off as a strategy that he was too quick to dismiss.

\---

“That's the secret to beating him. Get him good and sloshed.” Hawke said with a nip to Anders’ ear as the cards were shuffled, as if he wasn’t thoroughly drunk himself.

Isabela moved in close again, this time whispering in Fenris’ ear. “I can tell that feels nice. But it would be even better if he could thrust deeper, wouldn't it?”

Fenris turned his head toward her a little, his cheeks red with ale and pleasure. He nodded, he wanted his Varric in hard and deep, there was just no doing so without getting caught.

“Let's play out this round. Then if you want, I can show you how he can fuck you even better without anyone seeing. It'll feel good for him and you can rest while you watch and learn.” She purred, her lips almost brushing his pointed ear as she spoke to him. It was unclear what his answer was, but he pushed his hips back into Varric with a little more desperation.

\---

He could hear that Isabela was saying something, but he was determinedly ignoring her. He had enough to keep track of it seem like normal and the more the thrusted, the harder it was. It was hard not to give in and give him even just a few desperate thrusts that would alert everyone else to what they were doing. He slipped a down in front of him and gave his cock a few squeezes through his pants, expressing his need that way.

\---

He needed the touch and he rocked his hips a little more, barely managing to stay subtle enough. He didn't want a rest, didn't want to miss the feeling of Varric inside of him. But he also knew he needed to cool down a little bit soon or he'd give them away. He didn't want anyone else touching his dwarf, but Varric had already included her in their play a little by inviting her in to watch and he was curious to see what she had to show him.

Amazingly, it seemed like he was going to win this round despite how little he'd been paying attention and when the cards were laid down, he leaned back to whisper to Varric, his voice husky and a bit slurred. “She's going to show us something. She promises it will be good.” With no further explanations, he slipped out of his lap when he collected his winnings, taking his seat in his own chair. He was immediately regretful, wanting to be filled again, but watched as Isabela seamlessly took his place, leaning over the table as she lamented and threw her cards in the middle.

“It seems like this is the winner's seat tonight.” She sighed, but her free hand was pulling her panties aside. She was soaking wet from watching the boys at play and when she sat back, she was well aimed and it only took a wiggle of her hips to guide him inside of her. Fenris watched this with rather mixed feelings and he found himself seeking out Varric's hand beneath the table.

\---

Before he could properly protest, the elf was off of him and he was left exposed, his cock straining for a home in which to bury. This was quickly provided by the pirate and though he realized what she was doing at the last moment, before he could consider a suitable reaction, which would probably be to make a scene, the moist heat was sinking down around him and he could barely hold in a groan. His hand moved to clutch at her waist and he forehead fell to rest against her back, cock leaking inside her to add to the slickness of her pussy.

He felt the hand reaching for his and he turned his head to look at the elf, his cheeks brightly flushed and his eyes drenched with lust.

\---

Isabela smirked as she felt him give into her, taking over the duty of shuffling the cards and dealing. She planted her feet on either side of his chair, spreading her legs wide and arching her back. This gave her better range of motion than Fenris had before, able to give him broader rocks of her hips, her elbows on the table to stabilize her upper half not to give away how much she was moving beneath the waist. She didn't have the elf’s muscle control, but she knew how to fuck in public.

Fenris smirked to Varric, but his gaze shifted to watch Isabela. She beckoned him closer to whisper to him about the distribution of her weight and he nodded, eager to try what she was doing. It was his turn to whisper to Varric then and he nipped the dwarf’s ear. “She promised it would be good for you. Is it, my Amatus?” He asked, guiding his hand to his cock so he could show him how good it was.

\---

The dwarf was beside himself, it taking everything he had not to moan as he was given the friction he’d needed. It’d been a while since he’d fucked a woman and he had missed how good it felt when they were so wet. So wet that it almost took away from the friction, but not quite. He was thrusting into her, folding his hand from the start so that he didn’t have to deal with the distraction, though he was doing his best to keep his expression neutral and to seem interested in the game, though he wasn’t in the slightest.

The sound of Fenris’ whisper made him shudder. “It’s good,” he muttered back, the pleasure clear in his voice. “It’s real good.” He felt what he wanted and he didn’t hesitate, rubbing him and slipping his hand into his pants to draw him back out. He squeezed and stroked while his other hand found its way beneath Isabela’s tunic to slip into her panties so he could rub her at the same time.

\---

Isabela had been doing an excellent job of not giving a thing away, but when he started to rub her, she made a soft sound that she expertly masked as a chuckle as she cast her bet, her hips giving a little shudder before she rewarded him with an even more enthusiastic ride. Fenris was so glad to be stroked, leaning into Varric where he sat and feeling better about Isabela’s participation now that he felt more included again. He folded his own hand, too focused on his dwarf. “She’s showing me how. I’ll make it this good for you next time. But tonight, we can both make you feel good.” He murmured under his breath, his own hand moving to Isabela’s hip to give it an encouraging stroke, wanting her to please his man well.

Hawke pushed what little he had left of his coin in the middle, but was preoccupied pressing kisses to Anders’ neck that were getting increasingly hungrier. “We might have to quit after this one. These damned bar-dwellers are cleaning me out.”

\---

If they were alone, he would’ve turned to kiss him, but he had enough of his mind to remember what happened last time. Even if the outcome was better this time, he wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up if he gave into it any more than he already was. He honestly didn’t know how they hadn’t caught on - it felt so obvious to him. “Maker, I love you, Broody.” It was obvious by his tone that he didn’t mean it in the intimate way that someone in a relationship might mean it, rather he was saying it in the way that could mean appreciation for just about anyone.

“If you keep this up, we’ll have to,” Anders agreed, not minding getting a little frisky in public, but not wanting to do what the other three were doing, unaware as he was of it. “We won’t be able to afford that romantic dinner you owe me,” he teased, not actually expecting anything from him, but knowing that he would still take him out all the same.

\---

“Of course you do. I’m your dirty elf.” Fenris purred into his ear, knowing he didn’t mean it seriously. As hot as his blood was, he wasn’t looking for sentiment right now anyway. He was looking for the others to go so they could finally have their fun without being so subtle.

When Isabela won the final round, Hawke sighed and gave Anders a squeeze with the hold he had around his waist. “Good thing I wasn’t betting our romantic dinner money.” He finished his ale, then nipped his mage’s ear. “Ready to go?”

\---

“Ready.” He rose to his feet and looked over at the group all huddled close. He noticed how flushed all of them were and he paused, watching them, but just as the suspicion in his expression began to grow, it quickly disappeared as he dismissed it. “See you guys later.” He was more interested in getting back home so he could participate in some actual fun.

Varric managed a simple enough goodbye, but as soon as they were out the door, he lost all control. He shoved Isabela forward, pinning her to the table, hands going to her hips as he rose to his feet and fucked her hard, all of his pent up need pouring out of him through his own hips.

\---

Fenris was extremely relieved to watch them go and his eyes widened when a moment later his lover had Isabela pinned on the table. She moaned with abandon now that she could drop her facade, pressing back into him as much as she good with the grip he had on her. Fenris moved to press against Varric’s side, pressing hard, hungry kisses to his neck. “It must be good, just like she said.”

\---

He moaned, neck tipping to the side as he felt the lips on his skin. He let him lavish him for a time, before looking up at him, his eyes full of heat and wicked intent. “Get on the table. Choke her.” He had felt possessive before and he still did in a way, but she had plenty of holes to share and he knew this would be the first time he’d got his dick sucked in a long time, if ever. It wasn’t something he was interested in doing himself, so giving him this was the least that he could do for him.

\---

The request surprised him and he wasn’t sure what it would be like. But he crawled up onto the table and knelt in front of her. To his surprise, she tugged him closer impatiently, a wicked smirk on her face. She took his cock in her mouth hungrily and won a sharp gasp from the elf, his hands clutching at her desperately as she worked her tongue over grooves in his cock. He had no idea it would feel so good and the warrior looked beside himself with pleasure while the pirate bobbed on his cock to the rhythm of the dwarf’s cock pounding her, moaning around his length all the while.

\---

He watched and though the view itself wasn’t the best, he could plainly see his elf and his pleasure and that was enough for him. Almost enough, anyway. “I said choke her, my dirty elf.” He could see that he was overwhelmed, but he wanted to hear the sounds she would make when he fucked her throat while he fucked her pussy. His hand slipped back around the front of her panties and he ran his fingers through her slit, from where he was pounding her up to where she was most sensitive, his fingers moving skillfully against her.

\---

Her sounds picked up in pitch when he rubbed her just right, her hips giving little tremors of pleasure while he rammed into her. Fenris did as he was told and though it was a shame to lose the skill of her tongue, it felt so good to shove himself into her throat. She did choke a little, but she knew what she was doing and she opened her mouth and throat for him, letting him fuck her mouth, her moans breathless and muffled by his cock.

\---

After having been teased for so long, it didn’t take much for him to work himself up as hard as he was going. He groaned with each of his final thrusts, his hips losing control, bucking and filling her with his seed. He continued to rock himself through the last rushes of pleasure, pushing his seed deep inside her without thought, before pulling out, the stickiness dripping to the ground as he looked at what his elf was doing. It took him a few beats to gain himself, but he slid his fingers inside her, replacing his cock with them, thrusting and rubbing in a curling motion as his thumb worked her clit.

\---

She was disappointed to lose his cock, but his fingers picked up the duty just fine and she was moaning again in no time. Fenris’ eyes locked with Varric’s, panting and moaning while he fucked the pirate’s throat desperately. “Varric…” He moaned to him, so lost in all that was happening. The shivers in the pirate’s hips grew more and more frequent and when she came hard around Varric’s fingers, she gripped the base of Fenris’ cock with a hand, using the intensity of her release to suck the head of him with everything she had. The elf was crying out, all of it almost too much as his hips began to buck wildly as well and he filled her mouth with a thick load.

\---

The way the elf was watching him gave him a thrill, though he was still winding down from his release. He loved that he kept his eyes on him, that he moaned his name, and when he came, he knew it was for him. He eased his hand away from her and though glancing down gave him a tempting view - it’d been a long time since he’d eaten a woman - he moved around her to pull his elf to the edge of the table and wrap his arms around him.

\---

Fenris followed his pull eagerly, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and kissing him despite panting for air. It had been so good, but he missed his dwarf and was eager to get a taste of him now. He was starting to calm, melting into the kiss, when he felt slender fingers wrap around the base of him. Isabela had a hand around each of them, rubbing gently, knowing how to touch them without overstimulating them since they’d just spilled their loads.

\---

He broke the kiss when he felt the fingers, looking down to see what she was doing. “Rivaini…” It was probably time for her to go, but he wasn’t feeling quite so pressed to push her out. He’d never intended on fucking her and he knew that she’d always intended on fucking him, so she’d gotten her way.

\---

“You boys aren’t ready to be done so soon, are you?” She asked with a bit of a pout. She was sitting on the edge of the table, her legs spread and her panties still shoved aside to show her gleaming, soaked pussy. Fenris only responded with a low groan, pressing himself tighter to Varric and in turn, pressing into her hand, his lips finding Varric’s ear and sucking lightly on the lobe.

\---

Varric couldn’t quite take his eyes off of her and he found that he did want to occupy himself between her legs again. It was very tempting, especially knowing that he probably wouldn’t be able to have a woman again for a long time. He turned his head to meet Fenris’ gaze, questioning him quietly - did he want to have some more fun with her?

\---

His eyes were still glazed with lust, not having a chance for his blood to cool completely before she’d started working on them again. She could see that Varric was questioning him and so she cheated, sliding her hand further to squeeze the head of him, knowing how sensitive he’d still be. Fenris moaned low in his throat, pressing his hips forward into her grasp and nodding. He wanted more.

\---

He nodded in return, then pulled back from him. “Take your clothes off.” Normally that order would’ve been for Fenris alone, but this time he was speaking to Isabela as well. He began to shrug out of his own clothing, letting it fall to the ground behind him.

\---

Isabela smirked, finding that she liked Varric calling the shots even now that she was involved in their fun. She was all too eager to slip out of her clothes, standing bare in front of the table in no time. Fenris stripped down as well, having an easy time of it since he was not in his armor. He was closer to Varric, finding comfort in his familiar body, but his eyes roamed Isabela, curious and hungry.

\---

“Go put on your outfit,” he told the elf, knowing that he’d understand what he meant. He meant all of his jewels. His clamps and his plug. His bit to keep him quiet. He moved away from the table, gesturing Isabela to follow him to the middle of the room where the carpet laid. The place where he normally paraded his elf around on his hands and knees.

\---

Fenris nodded and turned to hurry over to his room. It just took a glance out to the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before he strode to his room to adorn himself in the gold his lover had gotten him. Meanwhile, Isabela moved where she was told, standing in the middle of the room as he directed, her arms folded beneath her free and bouncing breasts. “Is this where you want me?” She asked with a smirk.

\---

He looked up at her, but from his vantage point, he couldn’t help but drop his eyes to what was in front of him. He spied her tits and then with a slight nod, leaned in to kiss and suck on one of them. The first few kisses shied away from her nipple, but it didn’t take him long to gravitate to it, sucking hard and flicking his tongue side to side against it.

One of his hands slipped down between her legs and he slid his fingers through her slit, coating them in fluids so that when he pulled back, he could lift them to his mouth and taste her.

\---

She moaned softly while he suckled her, her arms moving to drape around his shoulders and keep him close. She watched him with a hungry smirk as he took a taste of her, her slit still so hot and wet from before. “Sweet, isn’t it?”

\---

His chuckle said enough as he moved away from her. He went his bed and grabbed a handful of his furs, tossing them to the ground in the middle of the room. “Lay down,” he murmured, knowing he wouldn’t have to speak up to be heard or obeyed.

\---

“I’ve always wanted to lay naked on your furs.” She purred to him, lying down and stretching on them luxuriously. It was at that point that Fenris returned, wearing only his gold. He looked from Varric to Isabela, then moved to where she was in the middle of the floor. He knew that was where he belonged as well.

\---

He looked over when the door opened and smirked when he saw him all dressed up. He signaled to him to get on his knees with a single gesture and as soon as he did, he moved in behind him, making sure his bit was tight in his mouth. Seeing that it was, he motioned him towards Isabela. “Make my dirty elf hard, will you?”

He lowered himself to his knees as well, moving in settle between her legs. He leaned down, going right for it, running his tongue through her folds. Though as he continued, he focused his mouth on the crease of her thigh and just outside the most sensitive spots, wanting to work her up slowly.

\---

She gasped when his warm tongue stroked through her slit, then chuckled when he started to tease her instead. She groaned and tugged the elf’s hips closer. “Gladly.” She turned her head to start toying with his cock, taking her time this time around and licking him nice and slow. She could tell the elf wasn’t use to it because he was whimpering behind the bit from even just simple licks and when she moved one of his hands to her breast, he started to squeeze it eagerly.

\---

His eyes were fixed upward on what they were doing. He could hear the sounds he was making and he liked them - his cock did get rather neglected, didn’t it? He only ever gave it his hands, but that was exactly why he wanted her to do this for him. He snapped his fingers to get the elf’s attention and gave his hand a wave, telling him to move over her and straddle her. It’d give him a nice view of his ass and her tits between his legs.

\---

He’d have to give up his hold on her breast, but he obeyed. He straddled her and leaned forward on his hands, watching her as she licked his cock and suckled lightly on the tip of him. It was so good and he was shaking, breathing soft, needy noises into the bit as he rocked his hips, giving her tongue more space to play and shifting the plug inside of him.

\---

As he expected, the view was rather nice. His own licks moved closer to her center, giving her a thorough cleaning and taking his time to lick every bit of her there was to explore. He reached up with a hand to brush his hand over the elf’s calf, sliding up it to his thigh, fingers tracing over lines that he usually didn’t explore.

\---

Isabela was beginning to moan against his cock, pleased that Varric was taking his time with it. It was clear in the way her hips shifted when he neared her slit that she wanted it badly, but she was relaxed and in no mood to rush him. Fenris reached back when he felt the familiar hand on him, his hand settling over Varric’s. This felt so amazing, but he still craved the dwarf and encouraged his hand to stay.

\---

He smiled when the hand touched his and for a time, he simply touched him. Eventually, however, he wanted to toy with him and his hand wandered further still, to the golden base of the plug, pushing on it to give him the feeling of a shallow thrust, not unlike what he’d been giving him before. All the while his mouth moved in, sucking on her lips, licking between them, coming up to her clit and brushing the tip of his tongue against it teasingly.

\---

The elf’s sounds grew more desperate, the shallowing fucking he was getting from the plug feeling so much like it had felt at the table. Though now he also had a warm, moaning mouth on his cock. The pirate’s hips gave a shiver when he finally started to give her what she wanted, rewarding Fenris for his dwarf’s mouth work by giving him a hard suck that made the elf shudder.

\---

He grew more intent with his mouth, sucking on her and licking her keenly, finding which strokes of his tongue seemed to garner the biggest reactions and focusing on them. He was still fighting smiles, the reactions making him feel good about allowing this to continue, knowing that they were all enjoying themselves. Even without any stimulation himself, he was getting a lot just from feasting on her and teasing his elf.

\---

She was thoroughly enjoying the way he was devouring her and she let him know with the sounds she made around his lover’s cock. His tongue was driving her wild and she returned the favor for Fenris, sucking him with more and more hunger the more Varric worked her up. Fenris was rocking his hips, wanting to fuck her mouth again and wanting more from the plug, but not getting too carried away since the work with her tongue was too good to sacrifice completely.

\---

He slowed down what he was doing, returning it to teasing, before rising up. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he moved closer, rising over her hips to straddle her. “Turn around, dirty elf.” He wanted him to stay about where he was, but to turn so he was no longer facing her.

\---

It was hard to leave the heat of her mouth, but he reluctantly did so, turning to obey his dwarf. He was straining in the ring around his cock and breathing hard around his bit. He was wanting more of Varric’s touch and tempted as he was to move closer, he waited for his instructions.

\---

“Take out your plug.” With it out, his ass was right over Isabela’s face and she could play however she wanted. He took hold of his own cock, stroking it with one hand while he reached out for the plug with the other.

\---

He didn’t hesitate to do so. He liked his plug, but he wanted to be fucked. He wanted to be fucked hard like the pirate was after all of that teasing at the table. He set the plug in his hand, warm and a bit slick from the lube he’d added to it before putting it back in. Isabela was rather enjoying her view. Her fingers rose to trace the lines on his ass, following them up the the chain around his hips. She gave it a sharp yank to jostle his cock, earning her a surprised gasp muffled by his bit.

\---

He took the plug from him and twisted to look down behind him. He placed the tip of it between Isabela’s legs and then pushed it inside of her, filling her up with it. For the moment, he left it there, instead reaching for the elf’s bit and dragging him closer by it, making him bend at the waist. He reached around to the back of his head and undid it, letting it drop between them and taking hold of his own cock once more. “Suck me,” he purred to him as he stroked himself, waiting for him to take over.

\---

Isabela accepted the plug eagerly, not at all concerned about where it had been. She’d never been filled with solid gold before and it was really quite nice. Fenris took Varric in his mouth hungrily, licking him clean before he began to suck him. He rather liked the taste lingering on his skin. He was glad to have a turn to please his dwarf, his hand moving to caress his balls while he worked.

\---

With Fenris’ mouth occupied, Varric turned his attention back to the plug. He had to lean back a little to get into a comfortable position, but he grabbed hold of the plug again, gripping the base, and began to fuck her with it. Pulling it in and out, doing his best to angle it so it struck her in the spot that most women enjoyed being pounded in. He had to use his free hand to brace himself against the floor, but he didn’t mind that - that’s why he’d left Isabela open to play with his elf while he pleased him.

\---

She rocked her hips in time with the thrusting of the plug. When he hit the right spot, she let him know, her hips giving her away with another shiver and a low moan escaping her. She gave the chain in her grasp one more tug before her fingers trailed back down to tease his entrance. She was pleased to feel he was a little lubed up already and she slid a couple fingers into him, happy to feel the needy was he pushed back into her touch. Her other hand busied herself with his balls, rubbing and teasing them, using her thumb to add pressure to a place she knew would make him squirm.

\---

He didn’t let up on what he was doing for quite some time, keeping the pirate nice and stretched and keeping the metal nice and warm. He couldn’t fight his desire to touch Fenris, however, so he eventually had to let go so he could reach for him, sliding his fingers through his hair, working his hand down to the chain dangling down his front and giving it a pull, then moving further still to find and stroke his cock.

\---

It was so good to feel Varric’s hands all over him, especially while he had a mouthful of his cock and Isabela was fucking him hard with her fingers. His cock throbbed in the dwarf’s hand and he sucked him with even more desperation. With each exhale, he was moaning deeply around him, so worked up by all of the attention at once.

\---

“Good boy,” he hummed, squeezing him and stroking him quickly. “How do you want to cum, dirty elf?” It was ultimately up to him, but he would listen to what he had to say about it. He knew how he wanted to cum himself and there was plenty of time for that yet.

\---

He released him briefly to look up to him. “Keep stroking me. I want to cum on her tits.” He was well-positioned for it and he didn’t want the pirate to make him cum this time, though she was certainly contributing with her fingers. He wanted his dwarf to bring him to, as he normally did.

\---

He liked that and it showed in his smirk. “Your wish is my command.” He rather liked the mouth on his cock, but while he was free, he pulled him up to kiss him hard. His wrist was rolling as he stroked him thoroughly, backing off on the pace to make sure he could really take it in.

\---

He clung to Varric when he was pulled up, kissing him desperately. It was hungry, but there was more to it than that. A bit of possessiveness, perhaps. Varric was his and he closed his eyes, moaning into the kiss as the two of them worked him with their hands.

\---

He could feel his desperation and he enjoyed it, knowing that it was for him. Just like when he’d cum on the table, it’d been for him, despite him filling the pirate’s mouth. Just like it should be.

\---

He rocked his hips into their touches wildly as the tension in him built. He could hear the pirate murmuring encouragement behind him and his hips shuddered just before he spilled over her breasts, gasping against Varric's lips. When he broke the kiss to gasp for air, he was still clinging to the dwarf, shivering as the rogue beneath him massaged a spot just behind his balls, getting just a little more seed to ooze from him. “Such a good boy…” She purred to him with a low chuckle.

\---

When he let go of him, he ran his fingers up his body, stroking his skin in silent agreement. He was a good boy. “You made a mess,” he looked down to where the seed had splashed all over her tits, just as requested. “Clean her up,” he went on, his voice a low rumble.

\---

He looked down between them, deciding he liked the look of his load coating her dark skin in big, scattered puddles. He lowered himself so he was no longer straddling her, down on his hands and knees instead. He began to lap slowly at her breasts to clean his seed from her, sucking on places he liked as he worked closer to her nipples. Isabela writhed a bit and moaned beneath him, but when she found the level of his chain was near her mouth, she took it into her teeth and gave it a tug, pulling at his nipples and making him gasp against her tit.

\---

He watched, stroking himself as he did so, a smirk forming when he saw her using the chain to her advantage. He waited until she was completely cleaned of release to move between her thighs, positioning his cock were the plug was. He eased it out of her slowly and as soon as it hit the ground, he replaced it with his own warm flesh, finding that she was just as wet as she’d been before with a groan.

\---

Isabela had felt the plug slide out of her but with Fenris blocking her view, she was surprised by the heat of the cock filling her again. She moaned deeply, rocking her her hips up to meet Varric while the elf sucked hungrily on one of her nipples. He moved aside then, leaving the pirate to go back to his dwarf. He pressed kisses to Varric’s shoulder, his hand stroking down his back to his ass where he gave him a hard squeeze.

\---

As soon as her nipple was abandoned, Varric leaned over her to take it in his mouth, warming it in his own. He braced his forearms on the ground and began taking her steadily, almost absently, as he busied himself with her bust. He felt the kisses on his shoulder and it kept an awareness of him that he might have not otherwise had, taking this moment to focus on himself.

The squeeze of his ass made him even more aware of him, as it wasn’t often it got squeezed.

\---

Isabela stroked her fingers through his hair as he sucked on her tit, having always fantasized of him using his height to his advantage and getting a facefull of her breasts while he fucked her. She rolled her hips with him, loving the way he filled her and still sensitive from him feasting on her before. Fenris was craving Varric and while he was preoccupied with the other rogue, he couldn’t help but run his hands all over him, pressing soft kisses to his skin. He’d never really considered touching him in such a way, but since it was open at the moment, he let his fingers slip down to rub the tender place just behind his balls that Isabela had been rubbing on him earlier that had felt so nice.

\---

He’d been touched there before, but it wasn’t a trick often treated to him, so it felt strange. Good, but strange. Particularly in who it was coming from, since the elf always kept his attention to his cock and his balls. Since his cock was buried and his balls were busy smacking the pirate’s ass, he supposed there was little else for him to touch. He didn’t think hard on it, the patch of skin sensitive to stimulation and making everything that was happening that much nicer.

\---

Fenris had another hand to keep busy, so he slid that one between them, rubbing at the pirate’s clit. She was still needy from the dwarf’s tongue work and so her hips arched up as soon as he did, her moans taking a more desperate pitch. The elf rubbed at them both, then moved the hand he’d been working Varric with forward to collect some of her fluids before moving it back, stroking his fingers slowly between the base of the dwarf’s balls and his entrance. He didn’t know if Varric liked to be touched there, or if Varric even knew if he liked to be touched there. But he was curious to find out, especially while he had plenty of diversions between Isabela’s pussy and tits.

\---

The dwarf moaned, the added touches doing for a lot for him. Doing a lot for Isabela too and her reactions to what was happening to her were as arousing as Fenris’ had been. He was ravishing her tits, kissing and sucking all over them, straight up burying his face into them as they bounced, but his mouth abruptly stopped when he felt what was a novel touch, fingers having never strayed quite that far. He was still thrusting, but it was clear that his focus was suddenly torn.

\---

“Do you like it? Or do you want me to stop?” Fenris murmured, still rubbing them both. The stimulation to her clit was enough to keep her writhing, but Isabela’s groan was a little more like a whine when the mouth stopped having its way with her tits and the thrusts lost their fervor.   

\---

“...Do what you were doing before,” he instructed him, since that had been nice, but not something that he had never tried before. He wasn’t sure why he felt so… uncertain about it, but he’d never imagined partaking in those kinds of pleasures himself. Even when he’d thought about fucking Anders, he’d always taken Anders, never the other way around.

\---

The elf did as he was told without hesitating, going right back to the spot behind his balls. If that was what he wanted, it was what he would give him. Isabela rocked her hips harder, urging the other rogue onward. She was unaware of what was going on with them, but she needed more.

\---

When his hand returned to a more comfortable spot, he was able to shift his focus back to what was getting him off. The thrusts picked up and then his mouth returned to its consumption of her flesh, taking everything he could get from her, cock leaking from the thrill of all of this. Not as much as he had at the table, when there had been danger of getting caught, but enough to keep his cock right at home.

\---

He was glad to see him get back into the swing of it and was content to watch him and work them both. Isabela seemed very pleased with the resumption, her fingers clutching at his hair and her hips rocking hard to meet the pounding she was getting. All of the attention had her singing for them, thoroughly enjoying both of them playing with her.

\---

He was groaning himself, everything getting to him. He found that he needed to back off a little, pushing himself up to his knees and taking hold of her thighs so he could lay it into her hard. Though his mouth had lost her chest, his eyes fixed on them to watch the way they responded to each thrust. Each thrust in which he tried to pound her harder and harder, feeling powerful as her body wrapped around his cock, figuratively and literally.

\---

She watched him with lusted eyes, liking just how pleased with himself he looked while he he rammed her. It was quickly becoming too much and her tits bounced even more as her back began to arch. She moaned loudly, moans both men would surely recognize as he reaching her peak, and it wasn’t long before her hips began to buck. Her muscles squeezed tightly around Varric as she rode out her orgasm, the warrior not letting off of her clit until she was clearly spent.

\---

He felt the change in her and he became frantic in his own thrusts, wanting to spill into her and fill her a final time. He knew this wouldn’t happen again, so he wanted to get what he could out of it and thoroughly use and mark her pussy. The tightness certainly helped and though it still took him a while longer, her muscles relaxing around his onslaught, he eventually gave her what he wanted, filling her up until it was leaking out of her. Then he pulled back, his cock still somewhat hard and glistening.

\---

Fenris did the same for his lover, keeping up all of his attentions until he knew Varric was completely finished. Isabela chuckled softly as he pulled out of her, stretching and feeling more of his seed leak out of her. “You boys know how to show a girl a good time.”

\---

He gave her a smirk, sweating and winded, but he turned his attention to his lover, sliding his arm around him and pulling him in. “Clean me up,” he murmured, still an order, but softer.

\---

Fenris was happy to have his attention, nuzzling close to him when he was pulled in. He nodded when he received his order, cuddling just a moment longer before he lowered to start licking him clean. He liked the taste of his seed mixed with her fluids and his own cock was hard again from playing with them, though he didn’t seem overly worried about it at the moment.

\---

He sucked in a shuddering breath,his cock sensitive. He’d asked for it, however, and he waited until he was completely clean to pull him up and kiss him. He got a hint of the flavor he’d been indulging in and he nipped his lip, approving of how obedient he’d been during all of this. When he pulled back he smiled and gently undid the nipple clamps, letting them fall to the ground.

\---

He breathed a sigh of relief, glad to have the pressure off his nipples. He leaned in to press kisses to his jaw and when he felt slender fingers around his cock again, he shivered and groaned against Varric’s skin. Isabela was still recovering, writhing lazily in the afterglow, and she was starting to stroke him just as lazily.

\---

He looked down at the groan, seeing what she was doing. He considered the situation and then began to gather up all of the jewelry that had been tossed aside. “Have your fun, my dirty elf.” He’d earned it and in the meantime, he wanted to cool down and have a drink himself.

\---

“I could suck you again while I do it.” He hadn’t really expected to get off again himself, but his cock had different expectations after helping the pair through their fun. It wouldn’t feel right without his dwarf. “Or I could.” Isabela murmured, though it was clear she was nearly done with the evening fun herself. But she’d sucked on the elf a couple times that night but had never gotten a taste of the dwarf.

\---

He still wanted his drink, but he supposed that didn’t mean he couldn’t be sucked. “What would you prefer?” he asked the elf, wanting to know his desires on the matter. He was giving him leave to do whatever he wanted with Isabela, which he probably wouldn’t have done at the beginning of this.

\---

“I want to suck you while I fuck her.” He had never been inside a woman, or anyone, but he wanted to now. He wouldn’t have been quite as interested, but seeing his dwarf’s seed seeping out of her was enticing in its own way. “Greedy. You get to suck him all the time.” Isabela snorted, but her legs parted, not at all minding the idea of having the elf inside of her. “...She can suck you, I’ll watch.” Fenris finally conceded, deciding it would make for a nice view while he took what he needed.

\---

He figured that would be his decision. The bit about fucking her, anyway.  He couldn’t blame him. “Let’s move this over here then.” He made his way to the table, set down all of their toys, poured himself some of the leftover ale, and grabbed his chair to turn it towards them. He sat down in it, expecting them to come play where it was convenient and comfortable for him.

\---

Fenris followed him to the table, not wanting to part from Varric. He seemed to have a similar idea because he picked up his long forgotten mug of ale and took a deep drink. Isabela didn’t take long to follow, though instead of finding her own mug, she snatched the warrior’s from him and drank from his.

\---

He keep his mug in hand, slouching back and watching them. Since he’d had control of the rest of night, he decided he wasn’t going to push for anything. He was going to let him enjoy himself, as promised, and take whatever he would get in that time.

\---

When she was ready, Isabela got down on her knees in front of Varric, her hips raised for Fenris to do as he would. She drew her tongue slowly along the dwarf and smirked up to him. “Your pretty elf did such a good job. I can hardly taste myself.”

The elf took another couple drinks, preparing himself to venture into this new territory. He got down on his knees and watched the two of them, but wasn’t in a big rush to push into her. He instead ran his fingers over her ass and the backs of her thighs, stroking her skin and working his way in slowly to her slit. But the time he reached it and ran his fingers through, her hips were giving an inviting sway, primed from his touches and ready for another pounding.

\---

“He knows to do a good job,” he agreed, watching her. There was a laziness to even this, bringing his mug to his lips and having another sip. He was still a little sensitive, but he made little reaction to her tongue. He was curious how much she would enjoy the elf’s cock - if she’d like it more than his own. He was curious how much he would enjoy the pirate’s pussy - perhaps he’d decide he liked women better. He doubted it, but that’s why he was curious.

\---

When she’d given him a good licking, she drew him into her mouth, sucking him softly since would still be sensitive and coaxing him to harden again in her mouth. She couldn’t help but suck him a little harder when she felt the elf slide into her, groaning softly to be filled again. It was hard to say which she liked better - the elf’s cock reached further inside of her but the dwarf’s cock had been thicker. Having both in one night balanced it all out well. Fenris drew deep breaths, finding himself clutching at her hips. It was so good. The heat was intense, even better than her mouth had been. He met Varric’s eyes and the look on his face made it clear that his yearning was for the dwarf. Perhaps he could convince his lover to switch with him. To show him how good it was to be the one pounded. It was amazing and he’d never want to give it up...but this was an entirely different pleasure he hadn’t known before.

\---

It was quite the view he had and with her help, he began to thicken in her mouth. Slowly, but surely. He met his gaze, able to tell when he slid inside her and he studied his expression. “How does she feel?” he asked, knowing well the answer. His eyes flicked down to her briefly, to see what she was doing to him and to glance down even further to the breasts between his thighs. They lifted once more, waiting for his response.

\---

“She feels so good.” Fenris said breathlessly and it looked like he had more to say, but he didn’t. Instead, he got right to business, taking her hard and fast. Isabela had expected him to ease into it and she gasped in delight when he surprised her, ramming her hips back into him and knowing Varric would enjoy the way the motion made her tits bounce. She began to bob on him when she had enough to work with, taking him as hard and fast in her mouth as the elf was taking her.

\---

He was rather enjoying his passive role in this, taking pleasure and getting all the more drunk while he was at it. He gradually emptied his mug, setting it aside when there was nothing left. That left his hands free and he began to run them through the pirate’s thick locks, finding them somewhat tangled from all of their earlier fun.

\---

The warrior had a very nice view of her ass and looking down at where he was burying himself inside of her, but his eyes kept going back to the dwarf. It was such a potent pleasure and he reached down to rub her clit, wanting to get the pirate as worked up as he was. It wasn’t hard to do - she was very sensitive from a night of playing and being touched there again was enough to get her shaking. She was devouring Varric while she moaned, starting to choke herself on him while she was fucked hard.

\---

He groaned, his fingers digging in her hair. Not enough to stop her, but certainly enough to cause some discomfort. His eyes kept flicking between them. Sometimes on the pirate’s eyes, sometimes of the elf’s, but he did notice that everytime he looked up at him, he was looking right back. As such, the longer it went on, the longer he began meeting his gaze. Until he wasn’t paying Isabela any mind at all, despite the intensity with which she was working him.

\---

When he felt Varric was focused entirely on him, the elf couldn’t help but smile a little despite how breathless he was. He could feel the pirate starting to tense and so he started to work her clit faster, feeling her hips buck and hearing the deep, muffled moan. It didn’t take much of that to get her cumming, sucking Varric feverishly through her release. Fenris had been unprepared for how good it would feel for her muscles to cinch in around him that way and her gripped her hip hard enough to bruise, ramming into her with a viciousness that only extended her orgasm.

\---

Varric groaned again, louder. That was very hot and he tore his eyes from the elf to look down at her, seeing the pleasure in her expression as she came. He was impressed that she was still sucking him and as she finished, he started to rock his hips up into her mouth, making her take even more. “Don’t stop, dirty elf.” He wanted their combined efforts to choke her while she was still riding high.

\---

Isabela had to steady herself, but she took his thrusting in stride with minimal choking, seeming just as hungry for his cock even though she’d gotten off again. Fenris nodded and though he was near his end, he fully meant to follow instructions. He clenched his teeth and kept thrusting, only giving her a few beats to recover before he went after her clit again as well and watching as she squirmed and almost squealed against Varric’s cock as she road the line between it feeling incredible and it being too sensitive to stand.

\---

He smirked, all of her effort adding up. If she wasn’t so keen on his cock, he probably would’ve taken a lot longer to cum, but as it was, he got his wish. Which his cock deep in her mouth, he began to spill, a thick load striking the back of her throat as she herself made the kind of delectable sounds he sometimes stroked himself to. His hands had tightened painfully in her hair, holding her there until he’d emptied herself into her.

\---

She didn’t mind the hold in her hair, used to it and too caught up in swallowing him down while her clit felt like it was ablaze. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, another orgasm hit her hard. She released Varric, having sucked him dry, and gripped at his legs for balance as she bucked through a release that was short, but so intense she was nearly screaming. That did the trick for Fenris was well and he gasped sharply, his hips erratic and his head thrown back as he pumped his seed deep inside of her and left her with yet another mess leaking from her and dripping down the back of her thighs.

\---

When she pulled back, he let go of her and sat back, watching as she lost herself. Then he watched as Fenris lost himself. He was still smirking, so satisfied with all of this had played out. He’d never wanted to fuck Isabela, not really, but he didn’t regret it. She’d been right to butt in the way she had - it had been entirely worth it.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. While his face was close to hers, he spoke, “Hands off of my elf from now on.”

\---

She had kissed him back while it lasted and when he spoke, she laughed. “Oh, come on. We all had fun.” She was still panting for air, but she smiled. Fenris got to his feet slowly, entirely spent but feeling wonderful. He returned to his mug of ale at the table, thirsty and eager to drain the last of it.

\---

“We did. You got what you wanted and so did we - hands off.” He meant what he was saying, but he was being light-hearted about it. He gave her cheek a pat and then reached to nudge the elf in the side. “Tired as I am, I’m not getting my furs any sticker than they already are - let’s go take a bath.” He didn’t want to make a big deal of it, he literally just wanted to clean up and get to bed.

\---

“I did.” She agreed rather wistfully. She’d wanted this night for a very long time. “I’ll keep my hands to myself, but no promises if you guys get frisky at cards again.” She rose to her feet and started to collect her clothes. She had no intention of getting dressed, planning to carry them to her room and simply fall into bed as she was. Fenris nodded as he set his mug down and offered Varric a hand to help him out of his chair. He was tired and he wanted to cuddle up to his dwarf and close his eyes for awhile even if he couldn’t sleep.

\---

He took his hand and slipped out of his seat. It was late enough that the bar would be relatively quiet. Though it was technically closed, sometimes people came in late for various reasons. He waited for Isabela to take her leave and when she did, he locked the door behind them as they headed out. The bathing room was open, as he expected, and he used another key to lock that one behind them as well, so they would have privacy, though he didn’t think anyone would wander in at this time of night.

\---

Fenris also wasn’t in the mood to make a big deal of bathing. He went to one of the full tubs and lit the fire to take the chill from the water as he readied and cloth and soap. “That was fun, but I only want you.” He murmured as he wet the rag as soon as it was lukewarm and started to scrub himself.

\---

The statement was so unexpected that he chuckled. “Thought that might change, did you?” He asked, sounding amused as he grabbed a rag to do the same. “You liked fucking her. I could tell.” He supposed to made sense. He wasn’t sure he knew a man that didn’t like to fuck.

\---

“No. I just don’t want you to think I want it to be a normal thing.” He’d gotten to experience multiple firsts, which had been nice. But he didn’t know how often he could stand to share his dwarf, or to be shared for that matter. “I liked fucking her, but I’d like fucking you even more.”

\---

That was even more unexpected and he actually wasn’t sure what to say. For a time, he just cleaned himself. “Maybe, maybe not.” He wouldn’t know until he tried it and he wasn’t particularly keen to try it himself. “Anyway, like I told her, Isabela will keep her hands off of you. If she doesn’t, tell me.”

\---

“I will.” He knew that the pirate would. Despite her butting in tonight, she’d always respected his space when he declined her advances. He smiled a little, looking up from scrubbing himself. “I am yours, my Amatus.”

\---

His lips quirked a little, but he went on. “Come on, Broody. I’m tired as shit.” He tossed the rag aside, deeming it good enough. He waited for him to finish up and then grabbed a towel for the both of them to pat themselves dry. He ended up bringing it with him out of the bathroom, wrapping it around his waist for the length of the walk to his room. When he got inside, he tossed it aside. He’d deal with the furs on the floor tomorrow. There was still enough on his bed to make it comfortable and he made a beeline for it, dropping onto it with a sigh.

\---

Fenris was glad to have the bedroom to themselves and he followed his lover to flop onto the furs. He was worn out, but he felt incredible after blowing his load so many times in a night. He yawned softly and stretched, wondering if perhaps he would sleep after all.

\---

“Goodnight,” he sighed, content. He pulled the blanket in and pulled it over himself haphazardly, leaving an arm and a leg hanging out. It was within the minute that he passed out and a few minutes later that his snores filled the air around them.

\---

He got close enough to share a bit of the blanket, but didn’t need much of it. He was still plenty warm from all the activity. He mumbled a goodnight in his own tongue and smiled to himself when the snores began. They were soothing to him and before long, he fell into a light sleep as well.


	23. Chapter 23

Two months passed and they went by rather quickly for Fenris. When he wasn’t out fighting beside Hawke or cooking with Margo, he was with his favorite rogue either playing one game or another or working on reading and writing. His nights were almost always spent with the dwarf as well and he had much fewer nightmares for it. Varric had become a sense of home and comfort for him, so even when he did wake from a nightmare, he was soothed to find he wasn’t alone.

Though they hadn’t gotten frisky at the card table again, not particularly wanting to involve the pirate again, Fenris had managed to convince Varric to switch with him. With a lot of coaxing and preparation, it had been great for them both. Though they still mostly preferred to do things the way they always had, it was a nice change once in awhile.

Not to be outdone by Emile, the elf wrote Varric no less than two fanmail letters each month. It was good practice in his writing and so he worked to make each one a little longer and each with fewer mistakes. They were nearly finished with The Dragon’s Fortune, so they’d have to start a new book soon so he had more material to gush about.

He didn’t know much about birthdays and he wouldn’t have known about Varric’s coming up if it weren’t for Isabela. The pirate had let him in on her big plans for the dwarf’s birthday - they involved him, which surprised him - and he quickly realized that he needed to do something for Varric as well. Fortunately he’d had some time left to prepare and by the time the day rolled around, he had everything he needed.

The night before, they’d gone to sleep in the elf’s room and he’d worn some soft trousers to bed, expecting an early knock at the door. When it came, he carefully untangled himself from Varric and climbed out of bed. He hoped the dwarf would keep snoring, but he knew the knock was likely to alert his lover and that was fine as well, he just didn’t want him startled awake.

\---

The knock did wake him, but he resisted. “Tell Hawke it can wait another hour,” he grumbled, feeling the elf climbing out of bed and turning away from the door. He was able to get comfortable, but he knew it probably wouldn’t stay that way. If it was really Hawke at the door, as he assumed, whatever it was probably couldn’t wait if he was fetching them this early in the morning.

\---

“It’s not Hawke. It better not be anyway.” Fenris moved to the door and when he opened it, he was relieved that it was indeed not Hawke, but an elven woman on the other side. She handed over a steaming tray of food and he thanked her as she went on her way. He locked the door behind her and went to his table, starting to set up their breakfast feast that was easily enough food for four people instead of just them.

\---

The smell of food perked his interest, as well as confused him, and he rolled back over to see what he was doing. When it registered, his brow furrowed and he pushed himself up a little. “What’s all that?”

\---

“It’s your birthday breakfast.” Not just any breakfast, but his fantasy breakfast. The roasted potatoes, the thick cuts of ham. He remembered all that Varric had described that first night they spent together and not a detail was missed. It smelled amazing and Fenris’ belly began to growl as he gathered their silverware.

\---

Somehow, that was even more confusing. Sure, it was his birthday, though he hadn’t remember that until now, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d done anything for his birthday that wasn’t crack open an expensive bottle of something or other. He pushed himself up the rest of the way and slid out of bed, grabbing his tunic along the way to the table and looking over the spread.

“It looks really good,” he told him, not quite connecting the dots, but liking everything he was seeing. His own stomach sparked to life as he examined everything, moving to sit in his chair absently. “You didn’t have to do all this,” he told him, even as he started to pull a couple of the plates closer.

\---

“Of course I did. You described your perfect breakfast to me and you thought I wouldn’t get it for you?” He put together a heaping plate for himself, getting a little bit of everything, digging in and eager to see if Varric would enjoy it as much as he thought.

\---

Even then, it took a few beats for it to hit him. When it did, he looked over everything and then laughed. “Really, Broody? You remembered all that?” That had been ages ago, but he realized that everything he’d described was on the table. He was charmed, certainly, and he didn’t hesitate to start piling his plate with what was being offered.

\---

“Of course I did.” Choosing to have sex with someone had been a big night for him and he remembered a lot about it. “You’ll have to tell me if the ham is up to your standards.” He was enamored with the potatoes himself, finding them softened by the masses of butter but still just a little crispy around the edges.

\---

He tried a bit of everything first, stuffing his mouth and chewing for a while. How he felt was plain on his expression, but when he finally paused from putting forkfuls into his mouth, he smiled. “Damn Broody, I don’t know who you hired, but this is the best breakfast I’ve had in a long time.” Everything was up to his standards. Any other day, he’d have assumed it’d been Lady Margo, but for something like this, he imagined the woman didn’t have as much time and he figured he’d found someone else.

\---

“Who I hired? It was Margo, of course. She agreed on the condition I do most of the work and she just had to cook it all up this morning.” He couldn’t have possibly managed to cook the potatoes to this perfection on his own, so he was extremely grateful for that much. “I didn’t know what your favorite kind of ham was, so I glazed it in honey and brown sugar yesterday.”

\---

“It’s perfect,” he assured him, back to stuffing himself happily. It’d been a long time since someone had done something like this for him and he appreciated it. When he’d taken in as much as he could without feeling like he was going to explode, he sat back with a satisfied sigh. “How’d you even know it was my birthday?’ He hadn’t told him when it was.

\---

Fenris had eaten far more than his share as well and he rested a hand on his full stomach as he looked to Varric. “A very nosey little birdie told me. I’m glad, it gave me time to throw a few things together.” He didn’t think the dwarf would have ever told him, he hadn’t said a thing about it even the night before.

\---

He knew who that meant and he shook his head to himself. “Probably could’ve answered that myself.” He didn’t mind, but he was right and he probably wouldn’t have told him. It just wasn’t important to him. “Well, thank you. It was really sweet of you.” He leaned so he could press a kiss to his cheek.

\---

He smiled, glad that his first surprise had gone well. “You’re welcome. When we’ve digested a little, I can give you your next gift. I just have to get mine done before Isabela wakes up and starts taking over the show.”

\---

“...What do you mean? Isabela has something planned?” He didn’t know how he felt about that. He’d heard what he said about another gift, but the bit about Isabela managed to distract him from it enough that he didn’t inquire.

\---

“Oh yes. She has something very…’Isabela’ up her sleeve. But that isn’t until later. “ He moved to take his favored seat in Varric’s lap, draping his arms around his shoulders. “I can’t tell you, but I think you’ll like it.”

\---

“For some reason I’m less than assured.” Even so, he wrapped his arms arms around his waist. “I do have a little work to do later today, but I suppose you’ve already planned around that.”

\---

“I didn’t know what you’d have planned today so I’m flexible. I asked Hawke not to bother us unless it was urgent, so I’ll be around for birthday festivities before or after your work.” If Varric wanted to go rush off and take care of his business and come back for the rest later, that was fine by him.

\---

He chuckled. “I can’t remember the last time someone made a big deal out of my birthday.” He gave his ass a squeeze. “I guess I’ll have to do the same for you.” He’d have gotten him something on his birthday, if he knew it, but he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. “Work shouldn’t take long, I can head out in a bit - why don’t you show me this second surprise of yours?”

\---

“You’d have an easier time doing the same for me if I knew my birthday. I don’t even know how old I am.” He chuckled and kissed his jaw. “I have something a little more sentimental and something you could show off while you work. Which would you prefer before you go?”

\---

“Well, hang on.” He grabbed his hand and pulled it up. “Didn’t I ever tell you I learned a little palm reading from a passing gypsy?” He looked at his palm and made a show of tracing a couple of lines on his hand. They were a little difficult to see with the bold lines of lyrium across them, but looking closely, he could see them. “You’re… 26 and your birthday is… the 5th of Harvestmere.” He was completely bullshitting, of course, but he looked earnest enough.

\---

Fenris’ eyes widened and he lifted his other hand to stare at his palm. “Really? You can see all of that on my hand?” He had no idea how, they were just lines to him. “I have a birthday. And a real age. ...Can you see anything else about me there?” He asked, unable to keep from sounding hopeful.

\---

Okay, so maybe he’d opened a bit of a can of worms there. He felt a little bad, but he was just as endeared by his reaction as he had been by his effort. “Really,” he told him, knowing that it was a lie, but also knowing that he would never know any better. He thought it would be better for him to have something instead of nothing. “Ah, no. Unfortunately, the gypsy only showed me a couple of parlor tricks - they’re pretty keen on keeping their secrets.”

\---

He smiled anyway and stole a kiss from the dwarf. “That’s alright. It means a lot just to know my birthday.” It was just a fundamental part of one’s history that he’d never known of himself. He’d also suspected that he was a little older, but he also knew that was a bit harder to determine in elves. Especially when his hair was already white.

\---

He returned his smile. “We can throw some ‘birthday festivities’ for you now.” The day he’d settled on was some months away, chosen for that reason. He knew it would be the first time he ever celebrated his birthday, sad as that was. Returning back to what he’d said about his surprises, he thought about it only briefly. The answer was obvious.

“I am a bit of a show off, Broody.”

\---

“Of course. Well, let me grab you something new to show off.” He rose from his lap and moved to grab a box he’d hidden away in his dresser. For all his talk of getting himself some jewelry, he never had. He’d been saving his money out of habit and when he was told of Varric’s birthday, he’d decided to spend a big chunk of it on the dwarf instead. He set the box down in front of Varric, leaving it for him to open.

It was a necklace to replace the one he’d won and now wore around his hips. The chain was a heavy, thick braid of gold which he felt the dwarf would like. There were touches of elven influence as well though, thinner, more delicate threads of gold weaving in small, graceful swoops through the thick braid. They were sparse and subtle, as were the small jewels placed strategically in some places where the gold merged, to add to its shine but keep the necklace from looking too feminine. Instead of a loop through the middle, there was instead thick swirls of gold, almost in a figure eight symbol, but the top end was open. He’d specifically requested that the design in the middle be open - the dwarf had too much chest hair to go obscuring it with some sort of medallion. On the back side of the middle piece, the word ‘Amatus’ was engraved in beautiful lettering that was not at all like the elf’s shaky writing. “Go ahead, open it.”

\---

Varric wasn’t sure what to expect, so when he lifted the lid of the box to reveal the necklace, he was so taken aback that he looked completely shocked. He reached for it, pulling it out of the box and looking it over closely - it was far more intricate than the necklace he used to wear. “Andraste’s flaming ass,” he muttered under his breath, eventually turning it over to examine the back and catching the engraving.

His expression softened a little and then he looked up at him. “...You really didn’t have to do this.” He could feel by the weight that the gold content was high, even if it wasn’t pure like the necklace he’d given him. He really didn’t care if it was pure or not, it was stunning and, even more importantly, thoughtful.

\---

“No, but I wanted to.” He smiled down to him, glad he seemed to like it. It had cost far more than anything he’d purchased in his life, but it didn’t matter. It mattered that his lover seemed stunned by it. “I was worried it wouldn’t be done in time. They finally finished it yesterday.”

\---

“That’s cutting it close alright.” Not that he cared. If he hadn’t gotten him anything, he wouldn’t have cared. “You’re telling me there’s something else as well?” He decided to try and put it on, slipping it over his neck and adjusting it until it was resting comfortably on his chest. With his tunic open as it was, it laid right against his skin, just as heavy and reassuring a presence as his old one use to be.

\---

“Don’t get too excited. This was the big thing. The other is just something very small and sentimental. We can save that for when you get back.” He looked it over on his chest, then gave the chain one more wiggle of adjustment for good measure. “It looks good on you.”

\---

“Anything that glitters as much as this does looks good on me,” he confirmed, pleased as he looked down at it. He’d have to peek into a looking glass to really get the full effect, but he liked it. He turned his attention back to him and tugged him in for another kiss. This time lingering.

“I guess I should get going. The faster I get out of here, the faster I can come back.”

\---

“That’s true.” Both of the things he’d said were true. He’d enjoyed the kiss while it lasted, but now he moved aside for him. “Go on, then. I’ll be here when you come home.”

\---

He gave him a wink and then after grabbing his jacket and boots, headed out. Though not before snatching up another bit of ham for the road. The door shut behind him and as he walked away, whistling could be heard from the hall.

It was about two hours later that he’d returned. Really, he should’ve stayed out longer, but considering what was waiting for him at home, he’d decided to cut it short. The same whistling that had signaled his departure also signaled his arrival and with a quick knock at the elf’s door, he pushed it open.

\---

Fenris was seated at his table and Isabela was in her usual chair. They had been arguing over a dice game, but had gotten quiet when the whistling was heard through the door. When Varric stepped inside, Fenris brightened and the pirate’s jaw dropped. “You’re back early.” She stood and gave the elf a nudge. “Alright, everybody out. I have to get everything ready.”

“We’ll just hang out in your room for awhile.” Fenris said as he rose from his seat, though he went to his dresser to fetch his other gift for Varric before he’d be ready to give his room over to the pirate.

\---

He had no idea what to make of Isabela’s expression, but it made him all the more wary. He flashed her that expression and took hold of the elf’s hand. “Alright then.” He tugged him out of the room and made his way to his own, unlocking it to let them inside. He made his way to the table to sit down, his eyes fixing on what he had in his hand. He was curious, more curious about what he had planned than what Isabela had planned.

\---

He followed along and sat beside Varric, toying with the envelope in his fingers. “Remember, you already got the flashy gift earlier, so don't get your hopes up.” He smirked and reached to give the new gold a little tug.

\---

“You’ve already thoroughly impressed me.” Whatever it was, he didn’t need it, but he did want to know since he’d put in the effort. He held his hand out for it, waiting to see if he’d drop it in.

\---

Fenris seemed a little hesitant, but he eventually dropped the envelope in his hand. It was a letter, but not like the fanmail he'd written him before. This one was entirely personal. It was a thank you for giving him a chance even though he'd been so closed off to everyone at the start. It detailed the ways his life had gotten better since he'd starting spending time with him and eventually moved in. It thanked him for teaching him to read and write, as even this letter wouldn't have been possible if Varric wasn't in his life. He'd signed it with his real name, having asked Isabela how it was spelled. The complete lack of spelling mistakes and scratched out words that usually littered his pages made it clear that this letter had been written, carefully proofread, and copied very carefully to make sure it was perfect.

\---

He’d anticipated it just being another bit of ‘fanmail’, so when he started in and realized that it wasn’t, he slowed a little in his reading. When he finished, he folded it up and set it on the table. “Come here…” He pulled him in and hugged him, seeing all the effort that went into it, both in making it look good and in what he actually wrote. “You’re pretty sweet, kid.”

\---

Fenris followed the pull and embraced him in return. “Only to you.” He wasn't what anyone else would call sweet, barring his master, but he'd never really meant it. “Happy birthday, Amatus.”

\---

He looked up at him, smiling. “Thank you. It’s the best birthday I’ve had in a long time.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his chin, his arms still held securely around him.

\---

“I'm glad to hear it.” He didn't know anything about these celebrations, but he was glad he'd done it right. He stole a kiss from him, letting it linger until the pirate stuck her head inside. “Okay, come with me. Varric you'll have to stay behind for just a little bit.” She smirked at the dwarf, then beckoned the elf with a wave of her hand.

\---

He was back to feeling uneasy. He knew he’d probably like whatever she had in mind, but he didn’t understand why she was bothering or what she intended. “Off you go then.” He withdrew his arms from around him and gave him a nudge to get going.

\---

The two of them were gone for several minutes before Isabela returned alone. She brought with her a bottle of expensive spiced rum and a bowl filled with a handful of overly plump strawberries. She took Fenris’ seat at the table, pouring a drink for each of them, then plucked up a strawberry for herself. “I’ll be leaving you two alone for the rest of the day after this. So I thought I’d get my ‘happy birthday’ out of the way now.” She sucked lightly on the strawberry before she bit into it - they had been soaked in the rum and the spice of it was a very pleasant blend with the sweet flavor of the fruit itself.

\---

He watched her and after a beat, reached for a strawberry himself. He took a bite of it and was pleasantly surprised. He popped the rest in his mouth and finished it, humming all the while. “Alright, Rivaini, I’ll suppose I’ll see you tomorrow.” He was sure she’d want to know what he thought of...whatever this was. He was beginning to get an idea of what to expect, but it still confused him. He slipped out of his chair and plucked up the bowl to take with him, eating another strawberry as he went to the door and held it open for her to step out.

\---

“No, no.” She began to say as he rose to his feet. “I poured you a drink for a reason. Your elf needs a minute to finish getting ready. Have a seat, enjoy the rum.” She took a sip of her own and made a pleased sound. “I cracked open a pricey bottle for you, you have to have at least one drink.”

\---

He sighed and remained at the door for a moment, obviously not wanting to return to the table. With reluctance, he shut the door and went back, finishing off his strawberry and reaching for the cup. “I can taste it in the strawberries - I’m sure I can get drunk on them.” Even so, he set the bowl down and picked up the cup.

It would be a shame for it to go to waste, so he took a sip of it.

“I imagine you’ll be spying?” he asked, trying to get an idea of what he was going to find when he went to the elf’s room.

\---

“I only need to see your initial reaction to my gift. After that, it’s just the two of you. I’d love to spy, but it’s your birthday, not mine.” She smirked, then took another deep drink. “He only needs a few minutes. By the time you finish your drink I can take you to him.”

\---

He rested his cheek on his palm, meeting her gaze as he continued to work on his drink. “You do something for Hawke’s birthday?” He knew the answer, but that wasn’t why he was asking. He was making a point.

\---

“Usually just booze, he doesn’t let me have too much fun on his birthday. I have the advantage of living with you boys, so it’s easier to plan this sort of thing.” She tilted her head a little when a muffled whine drifted in from down the hall. “I think your elf is almost ready for you.”

\---

He straightened a little at that, growing concerned. He quickly knocked back the rest of his drink and grabbed the bowl of strawberries again, heading for the door. This time he didn’t wait for her, heading out and to the elf’s door, where he gave a single knock and then pushed it open.

\---

Fenris was tied to the bed, bound in a rope that was strong, but was textured with something softer than regular rope. He was bound by his wrists and ankles to the posts of the bed, his limbs pulled so taut he couldn’t relax his body. The rest of the ropes crossed his body, strategically in places where they rubbed against his nipples and his cock as he writhed on the bed. His plug was in as well as his bit, muffling his desperate little sounds as his struggles with the ropes rubbed him further. He was blindfolded and his head turned as much as it could toward the door when he heard the knock. His hands, nipples, ass, and cock were coated in a glistening pink liquid and that liquid marked his chest and abs as well as Isabela had written on his torso in it - Happy B-day   Love, R.

Isabela went after Varric, watching him closely for his reaction as she’d wanted. She plucked a bottle of the pink liquid from her cleavage and offered it to him. “This is a fancy lube the apothecary makes me. It tingles inside and out in a really nice way. And it tastes like strawberries.” Which of course, she’d hoped to give him a taste for with the rum strawberries she’d brought him. “Oh, and I only bound his hands and feet and wrote your message. He did the rest, so I didn’t break any of your ‘hands off’ rules. Happy birthday!”

\---

He hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it was about what he would’ve guessed. A far better sight than what he would’ve guessed, but he’d caught on fairly quickly what he would find. He looked him over without a word and when the pirate spoke, he turned his attention to her. He snatched the bottle out from her and used the occupied hand to point to the door.

“Out.”

\---

She hadn’t known what reaction to expect, but that wasn’t it. “...Out because you don’t like it? Or out because you need to get busy?” She asked with a smirk as she looked between the bottle he’d taken and him.

\---

“Out,” he repeated, giving her nothing more to go on. If she were paying attention, however, she might notice that he’d already begun to stiffen in his pants a little.

\---

Of course her eyes were always on the lookout for hardons and her smirk broadened to a grin. “Alright, alright. Have fun.” She gave the elf, writhing and whimpering on the bed, one more glance before she took her leave. She’d be listening closely to see how well he liked her gift since she hadn’t gotten much of a reaction watching him.

\---

He locked the door behind her and then turned to look at the elf, his eyes following the lines of rope. He moved closer, but kept enough of a distance that he could take in the full picture of him lying there helplessly. “Did she touch you, dirty elf?” He believed her, but he wanted to hear it from him.

He stepped closer, quietly, so he wouldn’t hear him and so when he reached out to brush a finger over his side, it would startle him. “When you were all tied up, did she steal a touch?”

\---

Fenris hadn’t heard him move in close so he indeed startled when he was touched. The movement make the ropes graze his cock and nipples, making him groan into the bit and writhe all the more in search of more friction. His head was turned to the sound of Varric’s voice and he shook his head. She hadn’t touched him any more than she’d needed to. He’d done the rest to himself, under her instruction and supervision. No doubt she’d enjoyed it. But when he was bound and blindfolded, she’d written her message on his torso and adjusted his ropes to make sure they were touching all the right places, but she hadn’t let her hands wander to the places that belonged solely to Varric.

\---

“No?” he continued to trail his finger down his his to his thigh. “Maybe you’re lying to me. Would you lie to me, dirty elf?” He moved away from him, just as quietly, going to fetch his quill that he used to practice his writing. When he returned with it, he sat down on the edge of the bed.

\---

He shook his head adamantly. He’d assured Varric he would tell him if Isabela didn’t keep her word to keep her hands off of him. He murmured into the bit as if he could tell him so. His cock was rigid and leaking, still affecting by the tingling sensation even if he wasn’t getting the friction he needed.

\---

“I don’t know if I believe you.” He did. He held the quill by the nib and began to brush the feather end of it against his ribs, just barely touching the skin. He wanted him to squirm. “You’re a dirty elf. A naughty elf. You let her touch you, didn’t you?” He was watching his leaking cock, his own stiffening further.

\---

The feather startled him as well, having expected his fingers again, and the caress of it had him squirming again. Of course, squirming meant that the ropes were rubbing him again and he moaned into his bit, rocking his hips as much as he could, which was not much at all.

\---

There was no denial this time, so he took that as his ‘confirmation’. “That’s what I thought. You’re a lying elf, a cheating elf.” He ran the feather over his nipples, down his belly, smearing the message, and to his cock. He began to trace it, barely touching, up and down over the length of his cock. “You’re supposed to be mine, but you’re a whore.”

\---

He whimpered, his hips pressing as far as they could do get a firmer touch from the feather. He shook his head, but he knew he wouldn’t be believed. His dwarf would want to punish him and he was helpless to convince him otherwise. He closed his eyes beneath the blindfold, wishing for Varric to grasp his cock or take hold of the plug to start fucking him with it, but he knew he’d have to wait.

\---

“How do we deal with whores?” he mused aloud, pulling the feather back and tossing it aside. He reached for a strawberry and busied himself with eating it as he began to undress himself. “You won’t be mine anymore, of course.” He didn’t mean it, but he was playing up the part. “I can’t have my elves giving themselves to someone else.” He reached in and traced his lips with a finger, the leather bit keeping them parted. “Maybe I’ll choke you - what do you think of that? Do you think you deserve that?”

\---

He whined and shook his head in protest when he said he wouldn’t be his. He knew they were playing and wanted to have fun with his part as well. At the stroke of his finger and the suggestion, he nodded, parting his lips further in invitation to take the bit out.

\---

“...Stay quiet, elf.” He started in on the clasp, loosening it with little effort. His fingers were nimble and within seconds, he tossed it aside. He moved further onto the bed, straddling him and opening the bottle of lube to coat himself in it. Supposedly it tasted good. He’d find out.

He pressed himself to his lips and without warning, plunged into his mouth, making him take him deep.

\---

He’d opened his mouth and while he’d expected him to ram his cock in hard, the lube took him by surprise. He choked on him hard enough that tears stung his eyes, but he kept quiet just as he was told. It took him a moment to recover, but when he did, he was sucking him hard. He enjoyed the taste and the way it made his tongue tingle just as the rest of him was tingling on the outside. He couldn’t really bob his head, so it was up to Varric to fuck his mouth and he sucked on him while he waited for him to do so.

\---

He was slow with his thrusts, drawing out and then pushing in deep as he could and holding himself there, making it difficult for him to breathe. Never long enough to make him dizzy, but enough to make his breaths between them urgent. “Does that taste good, my dirty elf?”

\---

He made a garbled sound around his cock, which was all he could manage for an answer. He was already a little breathless just from the sweet torment of the ropes and now he gasped sharply whenever he was allowed to breathe. His hands were shaking and he tugged fruitlessly at his bindings as he sucked him.

\---

“That’s right,” he growled, “But I was wrong, you’re not my dirty elf. You’re just a dirty whore.” At that, he began to fuck his mouth quickly, thrusting to strike the back of his throat hard as he gave it to him for as long as he’d been holding himself before drawing out completely.

\---

He’d taken the fucking in silence, but when he drew out completely, he took full advantage. He panted harshly for breath. As much as he enjoyed the dwarf’s cock in his mouth, it was so nice to be able to breathe again. He didn’t know how long he’d have before Varric decided to plunge back in, after all.

\---

Rather then push in, he took hold of himself and pressed the tip of himself to his lips, tracing them that way instead. He teased him with it, waiting to see what he would do.

\---

That was rather nice, especially as residue of the lubricant further affected his lips. He looked as if he liked it was well, letting the teasing go on for a moment. When he’d had his fill of it, his tongue slid from his mouth and he began to gently lap at the tip of Varric’s cock, the way he did when he was going slow and savoring sucking him.

\---

The lube was certainly something. It’d taken a moment for the tingling to start, but it was in full effect by this point and it was unlike anything he’d ever felt. He watched as he worked his tongue against him, eyes lusted. He reached for one of the ropes rubbing against his nipple and tugged it, making the whole system tighten and rub.

\---

The elf bucked in his bindings at the unexpected rub from the ropes, moaning and rolling his tongue luxuriously over him. He leaked a little more, the fluid running down the side of his cock in a bead that quickly got lost in the pink lubricant coating him.  If he had more room to move his hips, he knew he could get off just on grinding into the ropes, but his tiny range of motion was maddening.

\---

He tugged again, harder. “You want to cum, don’t you? That’s all you care about, filthy elf.” He was enjoying demeaning him, especially while he licked so intently at him. He slid back into his mouth and held himself there, making the ropes tighten as he twisted it around his fingers.

\---

Fenris took his cock in readily this time, but whimpered around it when his ropes were pulled. He was held too taut by them to move at all now, straining and helpless. His body was so tensed that it only made the plug in him feel even better, but he had to settle for the tingling of the lubricant since he could do nothing to put more pressure from the plug where he needed it.

\---

He smirked and held himself there, waiting to see how long he could take it. If he could see his eyes, he would’ve waited until they were watering. When he pulled back this time, he moved down his body, straddling his hips. “Look at you, all dressed up to be fucked.” He set his hand on the smeared message and began to rub it all over his stomach.

\---

His eyes had indeed been watering again and he panted desperately when he could breathe again. He groaned, the sound loud and almost pained with desperation, his hips doing their best to rock upwards when he felt him straddle them. He was tugging hard at the bindings, the rope starting to bite hard into the skin of his wrists despite their soft texture.

\---

Varric watched him closely, his eyes fixed intently on him. He leaned in and brushed the tip of his tongue over a nipple. It was his first taste of the lube and it did taste rather good, didn’t it? He circled his tongue around it, waiting until it started to tingle to close his mouth around it and suck hard.

\---

The feel of his tongue was a wonderful change from the rope and when it was sucked, he cried out in a way he usually only did when he was cumming. The pleasure was nearly that potent and he bucked his hips up so hard it hurt. He also heard a creak from one of the ropes. They were strong, but if he got too much more wound up, they might not be strong enough.

\---

“You want to be mine, don’t you?” he murmured against his skin, pulling off of him and letting his tongue drift along his chest to clean the lube from his other nipple. “You want me to let you cum, don’t you dirty elf?”

\---

He liked following the path of the tongue on his chest, making the sensations of his other nipple something he anticipated. He nodded, then remembering his bit was out, he spoke. “I need to be yours.” His voice was low and hoarse. He needed to cum desperately, but being his was more important.

\---

“Then why are you giving yourself to someone else?” He nipped his nipple, hard enough to ache, though as much as they used the clamps, he was likely use to it. “Why are you letting someone else touch you?” He reached down to squeeze his cock. “Here?” He reached down further push his plug. “Here?”

“No. You’re not mine.” He started to lick his way down his body, his tongue tingling all the way.

\---

When both the plug and his cock were touched, he yelped as if they had been burned. His nipple was overly sensitive and despite the regular use of the clamps he'd jolted at the bite. “Only you. No one else can touch me.”

\---

“I warned you,” he murmured in response to the yelp, busy licking his hip bones. “Why are you such a disappointment to me, elf?” He looked down at the cock in front of him and with some hesitation, he leaned in and licked the tip of him, tasting not only the lube, but the release that had dripped from him.

—

His breath caught when the tongue touched him there. It was so unexpected that he actually wondered for a beat if the pirate had come back into the room. Varric had never had any interest in tasting him, but he knew it was him and that made the lick far better than anything Isabela had done for him on the night they'd shared with her. His body went entirely taut again, trembling as he waited for whatever would come next.

\---

He gave him another few licks, cleaning the lube from the head of him, before pulling back. “I don’t think you deserve that.” It’d been a tease, nothing more. As such, he moved passed his cock, kissing along his thighs, fingers moving to push and pull the plug inside him.

\---

It had been wonderful while it lasted. His body eased and he was able to breathe again when he’d stopped, though he was disappointed. The plug helped to make up for it though and his hips gave tiny rocks to meet the way the plug was finally starting to fuck him like he wanted.

\---

“Tell me, how should I punish you?” he hummed, taking hold of his cock and stroking it while he fucked him with his plug, steady in both. Not going too quickly or too hard, but definitely giving him enough to push him along.

\---

“Fuck me.” The words were moaned in a way to prove it wouldn’t be necessary. He was so overstimulated, the easy strokes of his hand and pressure from his plug would do him in easily. But it didn’t change the fact that he wanted him. That he wanted to cum hard around his cock.

\---

“I don’t think that’s a punishment.” He continued to work him, watching him carefully. He gave him no more and no less, waiting until it seemed that he was just about to cum, then he stopped what he was doing completely, letting go of him and sitting back, idly stroking his own cock in the meantime.

\---

His breathing had picked up significantly and when it all came to a sudden stop, he let out a distressed cry. He was right back to fruitless attempts to grind desperately against the ropes, his wrists and ankles beginning to bleed a little from all of his pulling. He had never felt more in need in his life and this insane desperation for the dwarf was probably the exact birthday present Isabela had hoped for.

\---

That was a punishment. A punishment that he didn’t deserve, but he was enjoying giving it to him anyway. “I told you to stay quiet,” he grabbed the lube and poured more of it over his own cock, wanting to renew the tingling as he worked himself steadily, the slickness making the sound rather obvious.

\---

Fenris was beside himself, sweat beading his forehead as he writhed beyond his control. He could be quiet, since it seemed Varric meant for him to do so even though he’d been asking him questions. But being still was another matter entirely and his breathing was ragged as he tried to let the ropes stimulate him, the sound of Varric’s stroking only making his own need worse.

\---

He liked seeing him desperate like this. He leaned over him, bracing himself on an arm so he could continue to stroke himself, as well as begin rubbing his cock between his legs. Around his entrance, where the plug had him stretched. Along his taint, even along his cock, giving him scarce touches that wouldn’t help him at all.

\---

The heat of the cock against him had him tensing all over again. He tried to part his legs wider for him, wanting to invite him in, but he couldn’t do much to spread them any further. He was starting to shake again, needing this so badly, but knowing he would have to wait. He was at Varric’s mercy and it seemed the birthday dwarf was not in a very merciful mood.

\---

He wanted him, but he wanted to drive him wild even more. “You want to be mine?” He’d already said so, but he intended to continue teasing and tormenting him. He let go of his own cock to take hold of the elf’s, stroking him quickly. He knew it wouldn’t take much, so as soon as it seemed like it was going to push him over the edge, he stopped again.

\---

He nodded vehemently, but kept quiet. He wanted to be his and he wanted to be fucked. Again, the abrupt stop seemed to send him into overdrive. He won more creaks of protest from the ropes as he writhed, but in return, they also began to draw more blood from his limbs. He could hardly feel the bite of the ropes though, with so much else overwhelming his senses.

\---

“Then tell me how you want to be mine,” he purred, sliding his hand down to the base of his cock and squeezing it hard. “If you want to be mine, you have to show me what a good boy you’ll be.” He let go of him to find the base of the plug and pull it out of him. He replaced it with his fingers, thrusting them a couple times to feel how loose he was.

\---

He nodded again firmly, but didn’t speak. He’d been told to stay quiet and though he was used to conflicting orders, he’d been punished for making sound just moments before. He was plenty stretched by the plug, but when he felt the fingers inside of him, he squeezed them hard. He was tired from all the struggling, but he meant to show him how good he would be - he’d squeeze and work him with everything he had.

\---

“Doesn’t seem like you care all that much,” he murmured, watching him closely, fingers curling to rub his prostate while he continued to squeeze the base of his cock. He could feel the way he was tightening around his fingers, but it he saw that as a show of need more than anything else.

\---

He couldn't stand the idea of him withdrawing again, so he chose to answer the question at the risk of being punished. “Only yours. I'll be your good boy. I'll squeeze you tight and make it so good for you.” He murmured fervently and gave his fingers another squeeze to prove it.

\---

He wasn’t satisfied and he made it known by withdrawing both hands from him. “I suppose I’ll just have to find someone else - Rivaini can help you out with this, I think.” To make his threat all the more real, he moved off of the bed.

—

“No!” Fenris was throbbing so hard when Varric released him that it was painful. He thrashed and he could hear a rope snap, but when he tried each of his limbs, he was immensely frustrated to feel that he was no more free than he had been before.

\---

“No what?” He remained where he was, stroking himself slowly. This time the sound wasn’t especially obvious, not using it to punish him. It was obvious that withdrawing was punishment enough and he would be lying to say that the desperation didn’t make him throb hard.

\---

“Not her. Not anyone else.” He was fortunate that most of his furs were dark because he was fighting hard enough that blood was beginning to drip slowly from his wrists and ankles. “Only you.” He growled, rocking his hips and all the more desperate now that he no longer had the plug to help stimulate him.

\---

Completely silent, he crawled back onto the bed, between his legs, and without any warning or further teasing, he pushed into him. He came to lay over him, barely holding himself up in favor of smothering him with his body as he began to fuck him slowly. He knew he was worked up and he didn’t want him to spill to quickly, so he kept the pace just so that it would keep him wanting more.

\---

He felt his weight on the bed, but he wasn’t expecting him to slip right inside. He gasped sharply, but otherwise stayed quiet as his dwarf finally began to take him. It didn’t matter to him that it was too slow. He finally had him inside of him. The parts of his face visible beneath the blindfold were the picture of pleasure and gratitude, breathing in slow, shaky breaths as he was fucked.

\---

“You never answered me,” he murmured to him, “You never told me how badly you want to be mine.” Even though it had been clear. He was pleased by his quiet as he took him, but he wanted to hear him talk about how much he wanted to be fucked. Not only this time, by every time moving forward.

\---

“So badly. I always want you so badly.” He groaned the words so softly, they were almost a whisper. As if he feared speaking too loudly would make him withdraw again. “I don’t know if there are strong enough words in your language. Os marik ur’ish ohuhn.” He was able to convey so much more desperation in his own tongue, telling him how much he always needed him.

\---

He rewarded him for his words, picking up the pace and sliding his hand between them to begin stroking him. “Only me.” Just like he’d said. Really, he wasn’t even as possessive as he put on for their games, but he definitely didn’t like the idea of him fucking someone else without him knowing or without his permission. “My good boy.”

\---

“Your good boy.” He agreed, his breathing getting a little faster as he got the stroking he needed. He rocked his hips as much as he could, meeting his pace and so relieved to get some of the stimulation he’d been desperate for. He would have thought that the slightest touch would have made him spill once he was finally getting fucked, but he was pleased to find that he was wrong. He’d been so close and let down so many times that he’d gotten a little desensitized and it helped him to keep from cumming so fast.

\---

The tingling really was something, especially like this, and the dwarf couldn’t help making little sounds himself. He’d tormented him enough and he just wanted them both to feel good. He lowered his mouth back to one of his nipples, licking and sucking it absently. There was enough to keep up with that he couldn’t do all three actions smoothly, especially since he making sure each of his strokes were more satisfying than a simple pump.

\---

It was so good to have so much from him. He always liked when Varric occupied himself with his nipples while he fucked him, but right now, it felt even better. He imagined a lot of that was from the blindfold, making the sudden treatment from his tongue a surprise. He stayed quiet, but his shaky breathing gave away just how good he was feeling. He was throbbing hard in his grip and it wasn’t going to be much longer before he went tumbling over the edge, but he was glad he’d at least had a few moments to enjoy this.

\---

He could read his reactions and he knew that he was holding back. He was being a good boy and obeying. “Sing for me.” He was changing his order, wanting him to cry out for him. And knowing what would procure the biggest cry, he fucked him steadily until it seemed like he was going to fall into bliss, then he stopped again, buried inside him. He _was_ done tormenting him, though this was probably his cruelest act yet, he just wanted to hear the sound he would make.

\---

Happy to follow that order, he'd let himself gasp and moan with each breath as he was fucked. It wasn't going to take much at all, but it was so good while he had it. When he suddenly stopped, he gasped in an entirely different way, almost a pained sound. He let out a sound that could have been a moan, but it was deep and mournful. He'd been so close again and he tried to rock his hips, crying out in desperate frustration when it got him nowhere.

\---

He couldn’t help but smile. “Shh,” he purred, picking back up with his thrusts. “I have you my sweet elf. My sweet boy.” This time he didn’t stop. He fucked him and stroked him with the intent to bring him to. He kept his eyes fixed on his face, knowing that it would hit him hard when it did.

\---

Despite how upset he'd gotten, he quieted quickly when he was consoled. It wasn't much different from the way he calmed for Varric when he woke from one of his nightmares. It took him a couple beats to get lost in the pleasure again, but when he did, he was singing for him. It took longer than he expected to cum, his body perhaps braced for it all to stop again, but when he did it was very intense. His back arched sharply, another rope snapping as he bucked up into the dwarf. He cried out in what was both pleasure and pain, his body quaking with shivers as he spilled heavily between them.

\---

As he spilled, he couldn’t help but snap his own hips into him, taking full advantage of his tightening muscles. It wasn’t enough to bring him to, but he wasn’t far. He’d had his fun and he was ready for his release. He looked to the binds at his wrists and saw the blood dripping down them. That made his pleased expression fade a little, but he knew that he would’ve stopped this at any point if it had been too much for him, so he reached for them and began to untie them. He pushed off his blindfold as he worked, freeing him so he was no longer stretched and helpless.

\---

Fenris groaned with immense relief when his wrists were released and he stretched the moment he could. He was still panting for air, but when he could see Varric, he gave him a weary smile. “You're not finished yet. What are you waiting for?” He wanted the dwarf to cum and for his orgasm to be every bit as good as his own was. But he was no less grateful to be freed.

\---

He sat back and watched him, a half-smirk pulling at his lips. “For you to come and show me how grateful you are.” He’d played with him to his heart’s content and he’d make sure he was satisfied by the end of it. His good and obedient elf was in debt to him for pushing him so hard and making him feel so good.

\---

“Untie my ankles and I will.” He was exhausted from straining and fighting, but he would finish this strong. He didn't realize how much he'd bloodied his ankles as well, but it didn't matter. He'd finish his work, then they could rest together.

\---

He considered him, obviously thinking over whether he was going to obey what was an order given in return. A suggestion, really, but regardless, he’d had his fill and there was no point in further teasing. He reached for the binds at his ankles and undid them, making the elf’s work much easier.

\---

It was so good to move and when he could, he slipped out from beneath Varric. He climbed into his lap instead, reaching down to position him, then sinking down on him. The lube still felt good in the aftermath of his release and he began to ride him hard, squeezing him tightly with his muscles just as he'd promised he would.

\---

The dwarf made no move to help him, letting him take over. He met his gaze and his own was rather soft, though it didn’t stay that way long as he began to work him. It faded into a look of pleasure as his cock was treated to proper stimulation. Stimulation he could focus on when he wasn’t busy punishing his elf for something he hadn’t done.

\---

It was good to see how much he was enjoying this and he stole a quick kiss from his lips. He rode him hard and fast, knowing his dwarf was ready for his release. He'd give him a good one, using his muscles to work him even while he was bouncing feverishly on his lap to bring him to.

\---

He groaned, taking hold of his hips and bucking up to meet him. The pace was driving him crazy and the desperation in his own movements showed how much he’d been putting off his own need to play with him. It didn’t take but a minute or so for his snapping hips to stutter with a deep groan of satisfaction, filling the elf up.

\---

He smiled to feel the heat fill him. When he knew he'd finished, he slowed to a stop, keeping the dwarf inside of him. He pressed another kiss to his lips, this one lingering. “Happy birthday.” He told him again, though this had really been Isabela’s gift.

\---

He looked up at him when he broke the kiss to speak, the hands on his hips slipping around him. “It was, but was that too much?” he asked, just wanting to confirm how he was feeling. He’d enjoyed it and he’d enjoyed how much he’d punished him, but if he didn’t like it, he wouldn’t do it again. To that degree, anyway.

\---

“It's your day. Nothing is too much.” Really, he probably would have drawn the line somewhere, but it would have taken much more to make him spoil their game. He draped his arms around his shoulders, smearing a bit of blood on his back. “Now we'll have to take it easy though. You wore me out.”

\---

“Then be a good elf from now on,” he hummed, lean in to kiss the curve of his neck. “Shouldn’t be so hard, not now that you know what I expect from you.” He pulled back a little to flash him a teasing smirk. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He wouldn’t mind laying with him for a while, but he was hurt and he wanted to bind his wounds, so he pulled away from him completely to locate a rag, water, and bandages.

\---

Fenris moved to the edge of the bed to look over his wounds. He knew he was a mess of sweat, cum, and lubricant, but he hadn’t realized just how much he’d cut into his limbs trying to break free of the ropes. He’d felt it, but in the middle of all the other sensations, it had felt distant and unimportant. “I’ll be good.”

\---

When he returned with everything, he took hold of one of his wrists and with the rag wet, dabbed away at the blood. “Maybe we’ll find something better to tie you up with next time.” He was careful as he cleaned it. He had a thought to go to Anders to have him healed, but he knew that Fenris wouldn’t want to and he didn’t really want to let the mage in on their private time. He began to wrap up the wrist, quickly and efficiently, use to dealing with simple wounds.

\---

“Nothing can hold me without doing damage. I’ll fight any bindings. Maybe we’ll find something I can’t break, at least. It wouldn’t have been any fun if I snapped enough ropes to get out.” Of course, he could phase right out of just about anything. But bringing that up might take away from the fun.

\---

“I’m sure we can find something that won’t cut your wrists.” He moved to the other wrist, pecking his jaw as he did so. “Maybe line some cuffs with fur.” He was smiling as he spoke, imagining what he could have made. “I’ll have to get something nice for Rivaini.” As thanks for giving him something fun to play with.

It was a bit of a stretch calling it a present, but he’d certainly enjoyed himself. She’d done a good job of stringing him up and making him irresistible.

He moved to the ground in a kneel so he could start cleaning and bandaging his ankles.

\---

“You have given me a taste for furs. Maybe that would work.” He raised each foot so he could work, finding the rag and water soothing. “She’ll be glad to know you liked her gift. She’s been scheming it for a long time.”

\---

When he had him all patched up, he used a clean bit of rag to wipe away where the blood had trailed, as well of some of the cum still seeping along his skin. “Better,” he approved, tossing it on the table and moving to sit beside him. “Maybe next time I’ll leave you tied up all night.” He slid his arm around him and leaned into him. “Have fun with you as long as I want to, my dirty elf.”

\---

“I might not be able to stand it.” He leaned into him as well and kissed his temple. “I’m a tough elf, but I can only endure so much. As I said, os marik ur’ish ohuhn.” Again, he was able to convey his need so much easier in his own language.

\---

“Well, I’d have to be kinder to you, certainly.” No reason why he couldn’t draw it out all night, though. He continued to look up at him, relaxed and content. “You going to tell me what that means or do I have to start translating again, amatus?” He said the endearment teasingly.

\---

He smiled, liking to hear the endearment on his tongue even if he didn’t exactly mean it. “It means ‘I always need you.’” Perhaps he could stand waiting overnight if Varric was kinder. But that still seemed like a very long time to stay bound.

\---

He set his hand on his arm and stroked it up and down slowly. “You convinced me in the end.” He’d said what he’d wanted to hear enough, anyway. “How would you feel about a crop for when you’re naughty? Then I don’t have to tie you up and wait to be convinced about what a good boy you are. You can just take your punishment like a good boy.” He could smack his ass raw and then fuck it after.

\---

At that, he hesitated. He didn’t mind the pain in their games. But being struck with a crop was a little different. He kept his expression neutral, but the dwarf would likely feel the way his body had tensed. “I’d rather be tied up. I’ll be good.”

\---

He could tell that he didn’t like the suggestion and he felt a little bad bringing it up, but he didn’t want to draw it out any more than that. “Cuffs it is.” He found his hand and tugged him towards the pillows so they could lay down and relax. They both needed it.

\---

“Cuffs with fur.” They would be more comfortable to pull against. If he was bound tightly enough, he wouldn’t be able to snap them. He followed the pull and pressed to his side when they were lying down. “We’ll have to use that lube again too.”

\---

“Yeah, I really like that stuff.” He slid his arm around him and pulled him in close. “...Maybe sometime you can take your revenge on me.” Maybe it would even be therapeutic to him in some way. To lash out at his ‘master’. He knew he wasn’t his ‘master’, but ignorant he might play, that’s what they were pretending when they played like that.

\---

“That might be fun.” He hadn’t even considered the possibility of turning the tables on him. He pressed in close when the arm wrapped around him and he kissed his jaw. “Give you a taste of your own medicine.”

\---

“Oh, I don’t know that you can be as cruel as I am.” He nipped his jaw in return. He didn’t think he’d been particularly cruel at all. All he’d done was deny him his orgasm. “There’s a reason you’re my good boy and I’m not yours.”

\---

“We’ll have to see if I can be. If I ever decide it’s your turn to put on the furry cuffs.” He would definitely involve a blindfold. He’d found that not seeing what was going on not only made the torment that much worse, but also made the pleasant surprises that much better.

\---

“If I let you,” he challenged him, though if that was what he wanted, he would let it happen. He always had his fun and got what he wanted - he didn’t mind giving the elf what he wanted in return. He moved his free hand down between them and brushed his cock, touching it with affection.

\---

“I have a feeling you would.” If Varric wasn’t up to being the one in cuffs, he wouldn’t have brought it up. The tender touch to his cock made him smile. He could remember their first night together and how the rogue hadn’t really been sure what to do with it. Now he gave it little caresses like this even outside of sex. He draped and arm over him and kissed his cheek, then nestled his head on his shoulder.

\---

“We’ll see,” he continued, keeping up the play. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, his fingers still resting on him absently. “I suppose I should thank you for a birthday I won’t be forgetting any time soon, shouldn’t I?” he murmured to him. From the necklace, to the letter, to this, everything about it had been beyond what he would have expected. Not that he’d had any expectations at all, but he was thoroughly impressed all the same.

\---                   

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad it was a good day.” He brushed their noses together when Varric was close enough for the kiss. He was glad Isabela had told him about his birthday, otherwise the day likely would have come and gone without him knowing any different.

\---

“I do, though.” He gave him another kiss, this time quicker. “Thank you, Fenris.” He held him tight and shut his eyes, content to spend some time relaxing with him. The day was far from over and there was more to do and hell, maybe even more to celebrate, but for now all he was worried about was spending this time alone together.

\---

 It was always a little jarring to hear his name from the dwarf, rare as it was. He smiled when the kiss was over and closed his eyes as well. “You’re welcome, Amatus.” Relaxed as he was, he thought he might get a little nap in while they rested together. He imagined their might be more drinks and maybe some rounds of cards or something later to celebrate. But for now, he just wanted to lie here with Varric and enjoy this.


	24. Chapter 24

As the months passed, much was the same. Fenris was happy and as far as he could tell, the dwarf was as well. He was seated at Varric’s table, poring over their latest novel. Though there had been a brief discussion of branching out to another author, he’d decided not to. He’d plucked another of Varric’s novels from his shelf, this one something of a mystery among a band of thieves. Fenris was reading aloud to him, slow and still struggling with words with silent letters, but managing to read fairly smoothly. When he finished the last line, he smiled and closed the book. “I think that was my favorite one yet.”

\---

“Really?” He could tell that he’d been enjoying it, but with The Dragon’s Fortune being the first real book he’d gotten through on his own… with frequent help, of course, he’d thought it had been his favorite still. “Hmm, I suppose your letters have been a bit more gushing than usual.” Not that they ever weren’t gushing, but thinking about it, he wasn’t surprised.

\---

“Maybe I’m just getting better at writing them.” He looked over the book cover, having liked the art on it from the start. “Time to pick a new book. Maybe that one will be my new favorite.”

\---

He smiled at that. “I have something in mind, if you like…” His finger traced over the edge of the table, having planned on this for some time now. All he’d been waiting on was for them to finish the book they were currently on and he was actually a bit nervous about what he had in store.

\---

“Is that so?” It surprised him. He’d have imagined Varric would want him to choose for himself. If anything, he might encourage him once more to pick a different author. “Let’s see it, then.”

\---

He remained as he was for a moment longer, finger tapping the edge of the table. He rose to his feet and rather than go to his shelf, he went to a drawer in his wardrobe and pulled a book from there. He carried it over and kept hold of it as he spoke, obscuring the cover from him.

“This is what I’ve been working on. My manuscript… though I suppose it’s a bit more put together than my manuscripts usually are. It hasn’t been printed, so this is the only copy, but I thought if you were going to read it… It might as well be something that looks a bit more polished.”

\---

“So this is the one you’ve been working on…” He looked eager and he reached to take it from him, a smile on his lips. “I’m the first one to read it, right?” He’d said he would be, but since it was fairly put together he’d wondered if someone else had looked at it. Someone involved in the editing or printing, perhaps.

\---

He nodded. He let him take it. The book itself was fairly simple. There was no title on the front or on the spine and the back of the book lacked a description, though the bottom of the cover read his name in gilded letters. The only thing there was to look at was the art that extended from the back to the cover in panoramic scene.

Painted in detail was a breathtaking clearing in what appeared to be a quiet moonlit forest. The rich blues of the scene, seen in the flowers, the trees, even the rocks that formed a cliff in the background, were contrasted by a length of white ribbon fluttering in the breeze in the foreground. The ribbon was attached to the hilt of a longsword embedded in the dirt. A longsword that was the unmistakably the same as the one that the elf carried with him everywhere he went.

If that were not clear enough, the only other source of white in the image, apart from the moon and its glow, was a figure standing atop the cliffs in the background. It was a detail so small it might not be obvious at first glance, especially since it occupied the back of the book, whereas the sword was on the front. The figure in question was a white wolf, placed just so that it would still be visible even when the description was added at a later stage.

\---

Fenris studied the image, having enjoyed the art on books even before he had anyone that would read them to him. His heart had leapt at the very first glance when he'd recognized his sword, but he wanted to take in every other detail, including the white wolf in the background. When he finally raised his eyes again, there was a smile on his lips. “...What will you call this one?”

\---

He gave an innocent shrug. “I thought maybe you’d help me figure that out after you read it.” He’d never let anyone else name one of his books, but he thought that he ought to in this case. He was glad that he didn’t seem upset, but he wasn’t convinced that he understood what the book contained.

It wasn’t quite an biography. He hadn’t written down the elf’s story in full, but it had been absolutely inspired by him. The character was him for all intents and purposes, but his name was different and his appearance was different. The names of everyone else was different and there were people that didn’t exist sprinkled in - he hadn’t wanted to put his life out for all to see, so everything was different enough that no one but those that knew him would know where it had come from.

Even then, a lot of it had come from his own mind, expanding on what he’d learned from him and making up a story that followed the same arc as his life, but in its own way. He was the hero, the protagonist that he claimed not to be in life. He’d told him he was nothing like Hawke and even nothing like Anders, but he was wrong and maybe if he saw it in this form, through his eyes, he would understand just how incredible he really was.

\---

He really didn't understand what this book held. Clearly the art was inspired by him, but he had no idea that this story was for him. His smile broadened. “Then we should get started.” He set the book on the table, then looked to Varric, silently asking if he was ready to begin. They usually took a little break after finishing a book, but this was too exciting to wait for.

\---

He nodded and moved in a little closer. Fenris didn’t need as much help as he used to, but he still couldn’t read on his own. He pressed a kiss to his shoulder, before leaning into the table so he could look over the book as he opened it. He was still a little wary of what his reaction would be as they got into it, but he’d known there was a possibility for this to go poorly all along.

\---

Fenris read through the first chapter with Varric's help on the words that he didn't know. It hadn't hit him right away, not with the elf of the story having a different name and appearance from his own. But it didn't take long to pick up on first his own mannerisms and then the story itself. He kept going without comment, but when he reached the second chapter, he stopped and looked to the dwarf. “You wrote this about me.” He smiled, but it was clear that it was very surreal for him to read of himself from another perspective.

\---

He hummed his agreement, watching him closely. He remembered the first time they spent an evening together and the elf had thought him callously asking about his past for something to write. He hadn’t been wrong, of course, but a lot had changed since then, as had his motivation. “He’s not exactly you… but he’s a lot like you.”

\---

“Is he a good guy?” He didn't want to say hero. Hero still felt wrong when he associated with himself. But he looked hopeful. He liked to think he'd have a good role in this story, though he didn't doubt he'd also make a good villain, jaded and brooding as he was.

\---

“Why don’t we read and find out?” Of course he was. Right now, he was weak and powerless, but he would overcome the barriers put in front of him and prove himself. He was rather proud of this book, truth be told, and he knew it was due in part to the pride he felt for the elf. It was a long book, much like the one that’d just finished, so it would take some time to get through it all, but they had all the time in the world.

\---

He knew by that response that he must be. He kissed him, then pulled back with a chuckle. “I hope someone like you is in it. You're my favorite part of my story.” He turned his eyes back down to the page then and began to read chapter two. If Varric wanted him to read on to find out where the story went, then that was exactly how he wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon.


	25. Bonus: Varric's Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a one shot based on the idea that Varric is concerned about their master and slave dynamic.

As they spent many of their evenings, Fenris was cuddled up next to Varric and the two of them were reading. The elf had made great strides in his ability to read and he did quite well without any help, but he still found it so soothing to listen to the smooth voice of his dwarf. As such, they often took turns, nestled up together and following along as the other read. Often, it was a relaxing way for them to start falling asleep together. Just as often, the proximity between them caused them to find a different, more heated way to get ready for bed. It seemed tonight might be one of the latter as neither of them had managed to keep their hands to themselves while they were reading. It was Varric’s turn to read and Fenris was enjoying himself while he listened, rubbing him slowly through his trousers and sucking on a spot he liked behind the curve of his jaw.

\---

This was such a nice way to spend the night. To have him touching him while he read to him. It was so relaxing and though he was hard as hell, it wasn’t urgent. He could continue like this for hours and he would be happy. When he reached the end of the chapter, he closed the book on a finger. “Your turn, or if you want, I could continue.” He kind of wanted to keep going, just so he could keep to savoring the casual rubbing.

\---

“Hmmm…” He hummed against his skin in thought. It was always fun to switch, but he was thoroughly enjoying himself and he wasn’t particularly wanting to focus his attention back on reading at the moment. “Keep going.” He said softly, running his tongue lightly along the skin of his neck.

\---

He chuckled and let the book fall back open, picking up at the beginning of the next page. He was really enjoying what he was doing with his mouth as well and it showed in his voice. As smooth as ever, but deepening as they went on.

\---

Fenris kept everything soft and slow, savoring it as the chapter went on. Only when Varric reached a good place to stop for the night did he start to progress things, his fingers moving to unlace his pants. “That’s enough for tonight. I’m going to need your full attention…”

\---

“You have it, Broody.” He set the book down, slid his arm around him, and kissed him. Hs free hand shifted to rest on his thigh and stroked it slowly, smiling. “You always have my full attention.”

\---

“Good.” He murmured against his lips, finishing the job of unlacing his pants. With that out of the way, his hands moved to get rid of the sash, needing to bare him. He gave his lower lip a nip. “I intend to keep it that way.”

\---

“How do you intend to do that, dirty elf?” He nipped his lip in return, but immediately followed it with a suckle. His hand slid up his thigh and he slipped a finger into the waistband of his trousers. He gave them a tug, but didn’t actually pull them down just yet.

\---

“I’ll show you.” He shoved Varric down onto the mattress hard, crawling over him with a little smirk. It wasn’t like him to be so rough, but after talking of him taking control in bed not all that long ago, months after the first time they’d broached this topic, tonight seemed as good as any to give it a try.

\---

He was taken aback and he snickered. “What’s that about?” He met his smirk, stroking a hand over his side, but again finding his waistband and again tugging on it.

\---

“It means tonight I’m taking charge.” He kissed him again, harder, and gave him a harder nip to go with it. “I’m going to do whatever I want with you. You just have to go along for the ride this time.”

\---

They’d talked about this and he was curious where he was going to go with this. Was he going to flip it? To take his power back and punish him? That was how he’d picture this. That it would be therapeutic for him to be able to be able to take control away from his ‘master’.

Maybe not. Maybe that would be too intense. If it was… well, he had many reasons why he wanted this.

\---

“Tonight you're mine.” Of course, the dwarf was his every night. But never had he said it in such a firm, possessive tone. He continued to tug at his clothes, rough and impatient about getting him bare.

\---

It might be fun to challenge him, but that wasn’t the point of this, so he simply smiled. “I’m yours, Broody.” He helped get himself undressed and since he was taking charge, he stopped there. He wanted him to have as much control as he wanted, so he would wait for prompting.

\---

He began to strip himself as well as he leaned down to press hungry kisses along his shoulders, but without as much urgency. When his top half was bare he sat up, smirking as he took hold of the clamps he wore on his nipples and eased them off. He leaned down to give each of the dwarf’s nipples some soft, slow licks, wanting them nice and sensitive before he roughly attached the clamps to both of them.

\---

Varric smiled when the clamps made an appearance. It always heated him when he had them on - it meant that Fenris had this in mind even before they started getting frisky. When he took them off, he had an idea of what was going to happen and he tried to prepare himself for it. Even so, he wasn’t ready when they actually clamped onto him. He hissed.

...Those were rather tight, weren’t they?

\---

“Stings, doesn't it?” He asked under his breath before he gave the chain a little tug to make it worse. As in in apology, he reached down and took him in hand, stroking him to give him a bit of pleasure to take the edge off the pain.

\---

It did and he grunted when the feeling intensified. He wasn’t sure of his opinion of it, but he knew that could change with on how this progressed. It did make him appreciate the pleasure he did offer him, though, and he hummed. “That’s better.”

\---

He squeezed him and leaned down to kiss him before backing off from him entirely. “Up on your hands and knees.” He purred to him a smirk on his lips. “My dirty dwarf.” He’d never called him such, but it felt right in this role reversal.

\---

He chuckled. As seriously as he took his own role, it was hard not to find this amusing. The elf playing a role that he did not, in his opinion, take to naturally. Submission felt far more natural on him, though he didn’t want to analyze why that was. He did as he was told, shifting forward onto his hands and knees, smirking himself.

\---

“That’s good. But arch your back a little.” He took hold of the chain between his nipples, giving it another little tug to guide him just where he wanted him. He was glad that Varric seemed to be amused by this. It was probably good for him to experiment with this role, but he had a feeling it would quickly become too real for him if his dwarf didn’t like this.

\---

He sucked in a sharp breath. Those clamps were something and he was beginning to understand why it was so effective in earning sounds. He followed the instructions, but there was a cheekiness to his expression. As if he was saying, ‘Now what?”

\---

He hadn’t finished undressing himself and now that his dwarf was in position, he pushed his trousers down. He hadn’t put his plug in, but he was wearing Varric’s necklace, the ring hugging the base of his cock. He took hold of Varric’s hair and positioned himself at his mouth. “Suck me.” He’d gotten the favor from him a couple times, but never had he demanded it.

\---

He didn’t really enjoy doing this, but that was partly because he didn’t think he was good at doing this. The act itself didn’t really interest him, but he was interested in pleasing him. The only reason he did it was because he thought it was cruel to deny a man this satisfaction and he wouldn’t do that to someone he cared about.

For all those reasons, it was the perfect demand to make. He opened his mouth and as soon as he was past his lips, he was sucking on him. His tongue rubbed against his tip, wanting to do a good job if he was going to do it.

\---

“That’s good…” He was pleased that he was willing to put in the effort to make it good for him, even if he didn’t enjoy doing it. His fingers worked the tie out of his hair and began to slide through the strands luxuriously. “Such a good dwarf.”

\---

The praise was nice to hear. He looked up at him as he sucked him, a hand lifting to encircle the base of him. He squeezed him, bobbing his head shallowly, but taking in more and more.

\---

He groaned and tipped his head back, closing his eyes as he was taken deeper. It was so good. It was always hard to believe that anything could feel as good as this did. He began to rock his hips, gentle despite their play as he didn’t want to choke him.

\---

He did kind of enjoy his rocking. The responses were what got him. They were the reason he did this whenever he did do it. He wanted him to feel good. He began to stroke him, making sure to stimulate what he couldn’t reach with his mouth. His dirty elf, trying to defile his mouth.

\---

He moaned softly in Tevene, his fingers tightening in his hair when he was worked just right. For the moment, he forgot about what he was supposed to be doing. Right now there was only his mouth and he was losing himself in it. He’d never demanded what he’d wanted from it and he was so glad he had.

\---

When he was taking enough of his cock that he didn’t need his hand - not all of it, just enough - he began using it to stroke his side. His thigh. Feeling cheeky, he slid his hand behind him and squeezed his ass. His own display of dominance while he pretended to be submissive.

\---

The elf chuckled under his breath when the hand squeezed him. He knew he should probably scold him, or even punish him, for doing it. But he’d liked it and that was more of the point than simply dominating him. “Just a little more. Then I’ll give you something to show you what a good job you’ve done.”

\---

He hummed, giving him another sensation as well as answering him. He gave him another squeeze, resisting a smack only because he didn’t want to be choked if he startled him. Then he returned to stroking his thigh, enjoying him while the elf enjoyed what he was doing.

\---

He took what he wanted from him, savoring the feel of his mouth for a little longer before finally pulling away from him. He moved away from him to grab their bottle of oil, pouring some into his palm and warming it between his hands. “I like to see you on your knees, dwarf.” He knew Varric liked to make him crawl and he could see why the view was so enticing as he settled behind him. He used some of the oil he’d rubbed to start coating him, massaging him from the tip of his cock, down over his balls, and over his entrance. He wanted all of him warm and slick and he was enjoying touching all of him.

\---

“I’m sure it’s quite a view.” He smirked. The look faded as he was touched and he took deep breaths. It wasn’t often he was touched like this, but they had explored it a handful of times. It felt good. He liked it, he just preferred to be the one touching him like this. Preparing Fenris to take him. His cock was straining at this point and he couldn’t help but rock as he was given a little relief.

\---

“It is, dirty dwarf.” He purred to him, giving his cock more attention when he started to rock. He knew he should probably be rougher with him, but he felt good. He felt in control. For now, it was enough just to touch and take whatever he wanted from him. He pressed in closer while he massaged his hands over his entire groin, his own cock pressing into the back of Varric’s thigh.

\---

It was tempting to take control, but again, he reminded himself that wasn’t why he suggested this. The point of this was for Fenris to have control, to give him the opportunity to do with it what he would and to see what he would do. It was just strange to completely give it up. Still, he reached back and clutched at his hip, feeling his cock and knowing where he intended to bury it.

\---

“Do you want that?” He asked when he felt his hand grip him. He used his oiled hand to give his balls a squeeze, then slid it back up to his cock and stroked him once more. “You'll have to tell me how much you want me, dwarf.”

\---

“I think you want me more than I want you,” he teased. He did want him, but he was curious what he would do if he showed defiance. Just a little.

\---

“Maybe you're right.” He gave his ass a hard smack at that, punishing him. He rather liked the sound it made while his hand was slickened. He took himself in hand then, positioning himself at Varric's entrance and applying just a bit of pressure. Rather than push in, he began to stroke himself, groaning softly under his breath.

\---

He liked the smack and he hummed his approval, holding himself still as he felt him ready himself. Then when nothing happened and he heard the sound of skin on skin, he chuckled. “That’s how it’s going to be?” In that case, he let go of his hip and began to stroke himself as well.

\---

Fenris caught his hand, moving it to the dwarf’s back and pinning it there roughly.  “I don’t think so, dwarf.” He was going to have to go without if he was going to mouth off.

\---

Varric had to adjust his weight on his remaining hand when his arm was pinned. So _that’s_ how it was going to be. He didn’t argue, letting him hold his arm and waiting to see what would happen. If he’d continue to taunt him or if he’d take him.

\---

                                                                                                                                

He watched him shift to support himself with one hand - he was sure it wasn’t comfortable, but that wasn’t his concern right now. Discomfort was usually part of the game for him, so he may as well serve it back to him now. He leaned down and nipped at the flesh of his back, moaning softly as he continued to work himself right against the dwarf’s entrance.

\---

It would be easy to be stubborn, but he ignored the impulse. He knew what he was doing was meant to make him want it. It did. He wanted it. He pressed back, as if he would be able to push him in simply by shifting his weight.

\---

“Tell me how much you want it.” He knew Varric did, even if he wanted to play hard to get. His body was telling him that he wanted it. But he needed to hear it and he wanted to hear that he _meant_ it. He ran his tongue over his skin, offering him something sweet before finding a place to bite him harder. Not hard enough to really hurt him, but certainly hard enough to get his attention. Perhaps a little threat that the next one _would_ hurt if he didn’t get the answer he wanted.

\---

It wasn’t often he wanted this, but whenever they got to this point, he was all approval. It did feel good and it was a pleasure unlike anything he could get from his cock. “You know I want it.” The hand pinned to his back flexed when he was bitten. “You’re the only one allowed to play with my ass.” These days, he was the only one allowed to play with his anything, but _particularly_ his ass.

\---

“I’d better be.” He rewarded the answer he’d gotten with a kiss to his back. “It belongs to me.” He released his hand as well then, freeing his own to give the ass they spoke of a hard grope. He would have held out longer if his dwarf wasn’t going to cooperate, but he was thrilled to finally sate them both and push inside of him, the hand he’d been using to work himself sliding down to grasp his lover’s cock instead.

\---

Varric’s eyes shut and he held his breath, the sensation of being filled always so intense and unlike anything he was used to. When he had him and the hand wrapped around his cock, he let out the breath on a sigh, bracing himself and waiting for him to start moving.

\---

He groaned when he was deep inside of him, having worked himself up before taking him making the sensation that much more potent. “My dirty dwarf…” He began to take him, slow but hard right from the start. He usually was easier on Varric, since he was far less used to being fucked this way. But this time, he needed it to be rough. He needed to show Varric that wonderful line between pleasure and pain he was always riding himself when they did this.

\---

He kept his eyes shut, his brows furrowed. Oddly enough, the most painful part of the hard thrusts was the chain swinging beneath him. Reacting to every thrust and pulling his nipples this way and that. It wasn’t a bad pain, but it was a constant ache that sharpened with every thrust.

\---

It was such a rich heat, being buried inside of him this way. He still preferred to be filled and even taking him now he wished he’d put his plug in so he could enjoy the sensation now. For tonight, it seemed important to go without it. He pumped his cock in time with his thrusts, using his other hand to knead his ass thoroughly.

\---

He groaned, so satisfied and having so much to feel. It’d never been quite this intense and he was a little louder than normal as a result. He usually keep his voice down, preferring to make his elf sing and knowing that if anyone heard him, they’d know just who it was being so thoroughly pleasured. He rocked to meet him, making the smack of their meeting skin all the sharper.

\---

Hearing Varric be so vocal about his pleasure made everything feel so much better. He loved showing him how good it was for himself and he liked to think Varric enjoyed his moans just as much, though this time he was the one keeping his pleasure a little softer. He was too focused on the other while he had all of the control - it wasn’t as if anything in particular he was doing took a lot of attention, it was just so different from what he was used to. Even on the few occasions that he fucked him like this, he was still submissive to Varric and whatever he asked of him. Deciding to push things a little he reached up to take hold of his hair and tugged back, not painfully but enough to force the dwarf to arch for him.

\---

The grip was unexpected, but not as much as the way his arched back made the elf strike him just right. He cried out and then he lifted a hand up to silence himself, forcing himself to balance on the single hand once more. It made him unsteady for the next thrust, but with it he was able to settle into a position that made him steady and kept him quiet.

\---

The cry surprised him and he found himself smiling. It wasn’t often he earned one of those, especially when he wasn’t bringing his lover to. He waited until he was sure he found his balance before he began to ramp up his pace, pounding him at this wonderful new angle. He wondered how well Varric would be able to keep his sounds under control and he would enjoy watching him struggle with it.

\---

Varric didn’t last long. A rough writhe lost him his balance and he had to drop his hand to the bed, but even that wasn’t enough and his elbows buckled. He tipped forward, but was held back by the hand in his hair, now pulling harshly at his scalp as his weight tugged it the opposite way.

—

Fenris let go of his hair, not wanting to hold him that way once he tipped forward. Instead he worked with the new angle, pounding him down into the mattress. His hand moved back to Varric’s hip, gripping it and using it to brace him as a low groan escaped him.

\---

As soon as he was released, he buried his face into the bed, gripping the furs with his fists. The position wasn’t _quite_ as potent, but he did have to muffle his periodic moans. “Broody,” he breathed into it, his hands tightened so that his knuckles strained.

\---

“You are mine.” He moaned to him, enjoying the sound of his nickname while his dwarf was so caught up in pleasure. Gripping his hip instead of his hair, he was able to take him much harder, his pace growing wild as the tension in him built. The smack of their meeting hips was loud and rapid and his hand worked Varric faster as well, wanting to give him something to sing about.

\---          

Varric began to writhe again, the sensations making everything in him tighten. Tension that wound him harder and harder. He held his breath, just as when this started, and when he let it go, it was with a cry. The tension broke and he released, marking his furs with his satisfaction.

\---

He could feel Varric building up and he took full advantage, working harder and faster so he’d be ready when his lover was. It was only a few thrusts after the dwarf began to spill that the elf did as well, groaning low in his throat and bucking his hips as he filled him up with his release. When he was finished, he leaned forward and kissed his back once more, offering him a bit of affection before he pulled out of him so he could adjust to a more comfortable position.

\---

As soon as he had the space to, he tipped to his side, letting his body fall as it wished and not bothering to adjust after. He spent a while catching his breath and when he had it, he spoke up. “How was that, Broody?”

\---

Fenris stretched out on his side next to him, still panting softly. He had just caught his breath as well when the question broke the silence and he met his gaze. “It was fun. I thought it would be more difficult than it was…” Varric could have made it more difficult, but he’d felt good with the control he’d had.

\---

He continued to meet his gaze. The wheels were turning behind them and he pushed himself onto an elbow, wincing a little. He remembered the clamps then and he eased them off, hissing as he had when they’d gone on. His nipples were sore, but he was sure it wouldn’t take long for the feeling to fade.

“Can we talk?” He usually didn’t ask to talk like this. He usually just started talking, but this wasn’t a conversation he was keen on having.

\---

He had been relaxed in the aftermath of his pleasure, but the question gave his stomach a nervous turn. That was never a good start to any conversation and he frowned, giving him a solemn nod. “We can always talk. What are you thinking about?” Whatever it was, he wanted him to get it off of his chest and not let it fester.

\---

He reached for his hand, pulling it into his chest and mindlessly brushing his fingers with his thumb. “I was just wondering. When we play these games… do I do things that you don’t like or want?” He’d never really stopped to ask if he liked the things he did, he just assumed that he did or he would speak up. It had happened so gradually that it had felt like a natural progression between them.

That was part of the reason he’d wanted to do this. He’d begun wondering and he wanted to see what, in Fenris’ mind, would be enjoyable. From all angles, Fenris had been extremely tame. Varric didn’t think he was particularly harsh himself, but he did demean him, he did make him uncomfortable, he did make him hurt. He teased and toyed with him and he gave him as much pleasure as he could to make up for it, but maybe he was going further than he ought to even so.

Maybe he should’ve asked about this sooner.

\---

He considered the question, squeezing his hand. “No, they are only games. I would tell you if it was too much.” He tilted his head a little, wondering if he’d done something to bring on such a question or if it was just the fact that they’d finally done the role reversal they’d spoken of experimenting with before. “Why do you ask? Did I take anything too far?” He thought he’d been pretty gentle about all of it, but perhaps he’d done something to make him uncomfortable.

\---

He didn’t realize how much it had been weighing on him until hearing his answer relieved all of the weight. His lips quirked. “Too far? That was nothing, Broody.” His version of being dominating was almost… cute. He wouldn’t be working out any lingering emotions that way, but maybe he didn’t need to. Or maybe that wasn’t the way for him to do it.

“I just… I enjoy our games and I get into them.” Far more than Fenris did, at least in the reversal of their roles. “I wanted to make sure that you are as into them as I am. That you’re not going along for my sake.”

\---

“...I know it was gentle. But I don’t think I would have liked it any harsher. I don’t want it to feel...real. I don’t want it to ever be close to what it was when I was his.” He knew he didn’t have to specify any further. “When you do it, it doesn’t feel real. If you ever hit me or did something to really hurt me...it would be different.”

\---

What he had to say first made him pale and even when he went on, he was silent. He looked down at the hand he was holding, his brows furrowed. “...I’m sorry.” He understood what he was trying to say, but suddenly all of this felt wrong. He should’ve asked sooner. He’d known all he’d gone though and how much it had affected him… and yet he got off to treating him like his sex slave. A game, nothing more, but one that he shouldn’t be playing. Not with him.

\---

“Why are you sorry?” He squeezed his hand once more, seeing that the reminder of what he’d been through had gotten to him. “You’ve never taken it too far. It’s still enjoyable for both of us because I trust you.”

\---

“I am far harsher with you than you were with me.” With someone like Isabela, it would be considered mild. To him, it was mild. To someone that had been a slave? He still couldn’t even bring himself to call their games for what they were. Perhaps that should’ve been some indication to him that this needed addressing sooner. “I just started to get the feeling that it was wrong. That it has gone too far. I’m sorry because I should’ve talked to you sooner… I will dial it back.”

\---

“That’s okay though. I didn’t want to be harsher with you because I didn’t want to feel like I was pretending to be him. Even if it was nothing like that, I didn’t want my mind to even go there.” It would have ruined the experience for certain. “But it doesn’t feel that way when you do it. You don’t need to dial it back, we both enjoy our games.”

\---

He didn’t understand the separation. To him it was the same. To him it was worse, really. “I do. If not for your sake, then for mine.” He didn’t think he could continue as they had, not after this. He would constantly be wondering if he was going too far. If what he was doing too much. He didn’t want to hurt him or remind him of things he’d put behind him. “I will dial it back,” he repeated, looking up at him. He lifted his free hand and stroked his fingers through his hair.

\---

“If that’s what you want.” He could see that this really troubled him and he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I just hope you don’t dial it back too far. I like to be your dirty elf.” He smirked slightly, nuzzling their noses together.

\---

“I’m sure we can find a spot that is comfortable for both of us.” The simplest thing he could do was stop putting him in impossible situations. Fenris had proven to be obedient, so in order to punish him and have his fun, he would exaggerate his actions to make them worthy of punishment. If he simply took his obedience for what it was, that alone would make all of their interactions much simpler - there would never be need to ‘punish’ him again.

\---

“I’m sure we can too. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to.” He knew he did feel like he had to though, and he knew why. He just didn’t want things to change now. “I don’t want what has happened to me to influence what we have. It was a long time ago.” Not nearly long enough, but it was still his past. “I don’t want to give it the power to change what we’ve been enjoying.”

\---

“There are other ways for us to enjoy ourselves. I just got carried away with that way - perhaps it’s time we explore those such things.” He gave him a gentle kiss of his own. “I only ask that you be forthcoming with me about whether you like what we try from now on.” He got the sense that Fenris hadn’t wanted to switch their roles at all and that he’d done even that for him, so he wanted to make sure that, if that was the case, it never happened again.

\---

“I don’t mind trying new things. Just like tonight.” If they found different things they both liked, all the better. It would keep their games from getting stale, though he’d never felt that they would grow old as they had been. “I would tell you if I didn’t like something. If something crossed the line for me.”

\---

“Good.” He gave him another kiss. “Come on, let’s get comfortable.” He wanted to move up to the pillows and to press close to him for the night.

\---

He returned his kiss and shifted up to the pillows, pulling his dwarf up with him. There were so many little parts of their evening routine that he liked, but none more than the moment they nestled together for the night. When he was comfortable enough to drift off to sleep with no worries of the past and see if he would drift off before he’d hear the first snores of his dwarf.

\---

He pulled his blanket down over them, sliding his arm around him and stroking his back. “I love you, Broody.” He mattered to him more than anything and he wanted to make sure he took care of him. That he never hurt him.

\---

His arm draped around Varric in return and he settled his head into his favorite spot on his shoulder. “I love you, Varric. So much.” He needed him to know it. “And I love that you care enough to ask me about our games. You are better to me than anyone has ever been.”

\---

“I want to be.” It wasn’t hard to be better to him, considering all that he’d gone though, and he thought he deserved everything he gave him and more. “As long as you’re happy, I know I’ll be too.”

\---

“Then it’s a good thing you’re so good at making me happy.” He hadn’t really known what happiness was before he’d had the dwarf take interest in learning about him. In reaching out to him, he’d changed so much in his life for the better. “Because I need you to be just as happy. You deserve no less.”

\---

“Shh, you’re not allowed to out-sweet talk me.” His stroking turned briefly more intentional, then was absent once more. “Now be a good elf and go to sleep so I can have the last word.” He spoke lightly, teasing him, but also showing him that he wasn’t going to completely give up his role.

\---

He snorted under his breath. Of course he had to have the last word. He opened his mouth, teasing that he was going to keep it up, but closed it again with a smirk. He would be his good elf and besides, he was ready to get to sleep. He kissed his cheek, then settled his head once more and closed his eyes. As important as their intimacy was, moments like this made him feel that the sorts of games they played in bed didn’t matter at all. What mattered was the safety he felt falling asleep in his arms this way waiting for the sounds of Varric’s soft snores.

 


End file.
